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So.I'm w
So.
I'm writing a book.
For Camp NaNoWriMo/NaNoWriMo/just on my own time.
Called "Glittering Stones, and what truly lies beneath." (Which sounds unbelievably cheesy, I know. ;))
It's a dystopian genre, so the government of now has been obliterated and now it is very corrupt. There may be some fighting, later on, just a heads up to @Admins, but nothing gory like BLOOD BLOOD DEATTTHH, etc ; ) You will understand more of the plot later on, but just know that the people in my story are not... normal people. They are named after gemstones, and they live in a strict caste system, sorted into "Classifications" according to how precious of a stone they are. It focuses on two MCs, Amethyst, and Topaz, who you will soon meet.
And I really need some feedback! Anything! Whether its grammar or rephrasing an, erm, phrase or anything! I would really appreciate it. I'll post the first few chapters, and if I hear from people then I'll post more.
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
Prologue, Two Years Earlier...
"Amethyst. Amethyst! Hello? Can you hear me?"
The voice sounded far away, very distant, but it slowly came back into focus. Here she was, Amethyst, standing in the kitchen, completely lost in thought.
"Finally! You went off into your 'dreamland' thing again." Her 9-year-old sister, Eudie, made air-quotes around the word, "Dreamland", enunciating the fact that there was no such thing in her opinion, at least.
Amethyst rolled her eyes, then went back to kneading the bread dough that she was preparing for Eveningmeal. "What was it that we were talking about again?" she asked her little sister.
Placing a hand on her hip, Eudie said, "We were wondering where in all the wide world Opal is hiding, and why so much healthy stuff has to go into this bread!" She poked a finger at a lump of the dough for emphasis.
Amethyst laughed. "You were wondering why most of these ingredients were healthy in this recipe, not me. I don't create the recipes, I just make them. But now that you mention it, I am getting a little worried about Opal. When was the last time you saw her?"
Eudie checked her wristwatch. "We started playing H&F almost an hour ago! She found me two times, so then I said best out of five, she went off to hide, and now I just can't find her!"
Grinning at her, Amethyst said, "Now's the time to admit that she's a better Hider than you are." But really, she was worried. Opal was known to go wander off by herself at times, but not for so long. Eudie and Opal were biological twins not identical in any way except for the fact that they shared the same Birthing Day. While Eudie was the life of the party and enjoyed chatting nonstop about nonsensical things, (Or, the life the party that a 9-year-old could have) Opal only talked when necessary and enjoyed a little peace and quiet to herself.
"Well," Amethyst began. "Where have you searched already? I'll help you look for her, but we can cross off whatever places you already checked." As she talked, she formed the now well-kneaded bread dough into loaves and put them on a metal sheet covered with a towel to rise. Then she dusted her hands on her apron and hung it on a peg on the nearby wall.
"I for sure looked all over the basement, and I think I got most of the third story too," Eudie told her as they began their slow search of the large house.
First, they began on the ground floor, peeking around commonplace things like window drapes and under tables until Eudie finally convinced Amethyst that if "she had hidden under those things, I wouldn't have needed your help!" However, that was what the ground floor was made up of for the most part; commonplace hiding places. There were none of the delicious and dark shrouded corners and closets like the upstairs or basement.
A quick peek of the lower and upper floors proved Eudie's point that she "already checked really good!" in those places.
Now Amethyst was panicking slightly. But only on the inside, never the out. Amethyst couldn't show Eudie how afraid she was. She was supposed to be the responsible one. The caretaker when their parents weren't home. Amethyst knew that if she started to panic, Eudie would too. Still, she couldn't help shouting her younger sister's name a little louder, the sound echoing off the spacious walls of the home like resonant waves on a seashore.
The only place there could possibly be left for Opal to hide was the outdoors. The yard of the house where Amethyst, her sisters, and her mother and father lived in was large, to say the least. Large and spread out, with very few trees or shrubs where a petite 9-year-old may hide.
It was also Curfew.
From 13:00 to 16:00, no person without military, police, or medical licensing could leave the building that they were currently residing in when Curfew began. The three sister's parents, Sera and Howlite, had neither. They were common Merchants, buying, trading and selling items at a higher or lower price (depending on just who was doing the buying) to different persons "in need."
At noon, Amethyst's parents had attended a Gathering at noon and were not expected to be back until well past Curfew. It was better to be safe than sorry when dealing with the Afternoon Curfew, which was one of Amethyst's inner hatreds. But that was a thing for another time. Right now, the only thing that mattered was whether or not Opal was out of doors and/or abducted by neighboring Authorities.
Amethyst inhaled deeply, once, then motioned to Eudie to come closer, as if there were said neighboring Authorities wandering about the house. "I think Opal might have gone outside." Brace for the explosion.
"What?! Why -why would she do that?!? She knows that it's Curfew! She knows what will happen if she... if she's... caught." The last word was spoken as if it was painful to get out. Amethyst could see her own panic mirrored in the eyes of her sister.
"Well," she said to Eudie, softly. "I'll have to go out and check."
"NO! Ame, you can't!!"
Turning and walking down the hallway, Amethyst said, "I have to, Eudie. You need to stay here. I doubt I'll be gone that long, but if Mom and Dad come back, you explain all that's happening to them."
"But where are you going? The front door isn't that way!" Eudie followed her down the hall, to where Amethyst opened a door to a room that she had not often been in: her father's. On the threshold, Eudie stopped.
"What are you doing in Dad's room? He doesn't like it when we go in here..."
Amethyst rummaged through the dusty wardrobe that was shoved into a corner, pulling out one of her father's long grey trench-capes. "I can't just go waltzing outside during Curfew; I'll be reported for sure. I'll stick to the alleys and wear Dad's cape, so even if someone does see me, I won't be immediately recognized."
Eudie nodded, looking very pale, but did not say anything else as Amethyst donned the long, voluminous trench-cape and pulled up the hood. Her face was draped in shadows, and her hands and legs were buried in the thick folds of the cape, making her completely unrecognizable as the 16-year-old daughter of Sera and Howlite Semi-precious. Instead, she looked like a regular person whose salary was profitable enough to afford a trench-cape, and who just happened to be out and about during Curfew.
Amethyst sighed at her image in the mirror, then turned to hug her sister. "Wish me luck," she whispered in her Eudie's ear. Eudie managed a wan smile. "You and Opal both," she told Amethyst.
With one more nod in her sister's direction, Amethyst walked down the hall, then she slowly turned the doorknob of the rear entrance. It slid open soundlessly, casting a shadow from the warm afternoon sun that slithered down the hallway. Amethyst, too, slid out the door without a sound.
She was wearing her house shoes, which would make less noise on the cobblestone-clad alley than her boots. The cape, too, made a swishing noise every time she took a hurried step, so she slowed her pace just a bit. Amethyst tried to shake away the dread that she felt creeping up her spine, but it was almost too much. She'd heard stories of people that had been caught outside during Curfew, she and Eudie and Opal all had. That's why she'd been so pale. Once the Authorities dragged you off, kicking and screaming, protesting that your pet had gone missing or some other completely plausible excuse for being outside, you were never seen again. Amethyst tried to force those grim thoughts down. She didn't need them floating around her mind right now, taunting her. Instead, she focused on her steps.
Right, left. Right, left.
Behind the Semi-Precious' backdoor was an alleyway. One way lead out onto the main road and the other led in the direction of their communities' yard. Amethyst crept down the alley towards the yard, thinking that the yard would be the most logical place for Opal to have gone. She had almost reached the edge of the yard, but stopped when she heard an urgent whisper:
"Pst. Hey. Hey, you. You with the grey cape."
Amethyst froze. The voice had come from behind one of the Waste Compartments. She turned, glad that the hood covered her face, and whispered back, making sure to keep her voice low, "What? Who's there? What are you doing outside during Curfew?"
After a pause, the voice behind the Waste Compartment said in the same cool-yet-quiet-voice, "I could ask the same about you." The voice was clearer, now. Most definitely belonging to a young man, a boy, perhaps. A bronze-skinned finger popped out from behind the Compartment and waggled at her to come closer.
Squaring her shoulders beneath the cloak, Amethyst shook her head silently. "I have other more important things to do than obey a strange person who spends their free time hiding behind Waste Compartments," she said in whispered --while still firm-- voice. "Good da--" The arm belonging to the bronze-skinned finger and whispered voice shot out from behind the Compartment, latching onto her own and dragging Amethyst down behind the Compartment with them.
She landed in a heap with a loud thump, her vision blocked by her hood falling over her eyes she started to cry out but stopped when she heard voices.
Men, most likely, running in the alleyway and shouting at each other from where she'd been standing moments ago. The Authorities. Doubtless, they would've seen her and taken her away had she done what she intended and continued searching in the alley for Opal.
"You sure?" one of the men asked in a gruff voice that grated on Amethyst's ears.
"I swear! I heard people talking!" another insisted.
"Eh, must've been the wind," the first one said.
"Wind? What wind?! It's the middle of After-Snow!" retorted the other. Their mingled voices faded away as they returned to their posts down the road once more.
Breathless from her close encounter, Amethyst yanked off her hood and confronted her rescuer. It was a young man, or rather, he, with bronzed skin to match his arm and finger, wearing tattered jeans and a shirt. His eyes were the most striking part, however; they were a clear ocean blue, shifting from an aqua green. If he seemed surprised that the wearer of a Merchant's trench-cape was a teenage girl, he did not show it. The smirk plastered on his face clearly said, "I told you so" mingled with a dash of "Why didn't you listen to me in the first place?"
That annoyed Amethyst. Very much.
Ruffled and flustered, she managed to get out a, "Thank you," and, "Who are you?"
With a slight air, as if he were offended that she hadn't recognized him already, he told her, "I go by Topaz."
She nodded. "I'm, well, you can call me Amethyst." Then, with hesitation, she added, "Nice to have met you, I just... wish it were under different circumstances... " Which reminded her of her reason for being out during Curfew in the first place. Amethyst got to her knees and scanned the alleyway both directions for lingering Authorities before standing completely.
"I would ask of the circumstances regarding our encounter," Topaz said, getting up and standing too. "But we all have our own secrets, most of which don't need to be shared."
Amethyst didn't quite understand his logic but nodded anyway. "Have you seen a little girl of about 8 or 9 anywhere around here?" she whispered to him.
Topaz's eyes fixed on something behind her, and he said/whispered with mild interest, "Why yes, I have." And he pointed to something behind her.
Amethyst turned, following to where he had gestured and there was Opal. She was crouched down among some other Waste Compartments, looking very guilty, very scared, and very close to tears at the same time. Still not daring to yell, lest the Authorities might hear her, Amethyst rushed over to her sister and enveloped her in a hug. Opal whispered into her ear how she had gone outside to hide and had heard some Authorities making rounds and had had to stay in her hiding place so long that she'd fallen asleep. She had woken up when she'd heard the Authorities come and go just a few minutes ago and had caught sight of Amethyst and Topaz.
After Opal had shed a few well-deserved tears, Amethyst motioned for her to go back inside, where she knew that a worried Eudie was waiting.
But when a very grateful Amethyst turned around, Topaz was gone.
submitted by Vyolette
(May 1, 2018 - 7:44 pm)
(May 1, 2018 - 7:44 pm)
The man is Topaz. XD It makes more sense later on, I promise. And no, they don't haha. Topaz was just pleased that there had been a valuable outcome from their raid, and he looks to Moldy for support and help, as much as he doesn't like to admit it.
(October 16, 2018 - 8:30 pm)
Thanks for clearing that up!
(October 17, 2018 - 4:49 pm)
ATTENTION EVERYONE!!
After some intense mental debate, I have decided to rename my novel! A while ago, I had decided to cut off the "and what truly lies beneath" because it was too long, but now I'm scrapping the whole entire Glittering Stones mess. My fancy new title is now... *drumroll*
All That Glitters: The Revolution of Mineria
Ta-da!! It's based on the saying "All that glitters is not gold", which I LOVE. Oh, and also, have I mentioned yet that I'm planning on making ATG a trilogy? I'll be able to continue the theme of the first novel title, because the different books will be taking place in different places. For example, the first one is in Mineria (as you know), then second one will be in the Mineral Colonies (I still need to come up with a better name for that... hm) and the third will take place in Florecer, which is some sort of city that relatively similar to Mineria but I haven't figured out any of its plot or background and stuff yet. So, yeah.
(November 16, 2018 - 4:40 pm)
(November 17, 2018 - 1:28 pm)
Hi again! In case you're wondering, this is the ONLY thread on the CB that I'm actually checking on a (slightly) regular basis; I'm not actually coming back.
I like your new title! And if you did make this into a trilogy and produce it, I would definitely buy it.
I don't know if Topaz or Moldy are gay, but whenever I hear "so-and-so is meeting with so-and-so for no good reason," well, you know where I'm going. But I can't come up with a ship name. Ummm... Molpaz? Toldy? Mopaz? These all sound like they're depressed.
(November 21, 2018 - 11:59 am)
Um... yeah no. I can definitely tell you right off the bat that Topaz and Moldy are definitely not gay. All my characters are straight, just for clarification.
Of course, I'll try to explain more in detail about it when I start editing, but Moldy and Topaz have more of a comrade/person-they-look-up-to relationship, if that makes sense. While Moldy technically "works" for the Priceless and Topaz, Topaz values his opinion and insight on certain things.
But thank you, either way! I hope that, at some point in time (whether it be ten or twenty years from now) I will be able to successfully publish All That Glitters and the rest of the books in the trilogy.
(November 24, 2018 - 4:57 pm)
So... this chapter isn't exactly my favorite because at the time that I first wrote it (which was some months ago) I absolutely SUCKED at writing descriptions. Sorry guys, you'll have to bear with me on this. ;)
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
Chapter Eighteen
Topaz petted his fluffy feline friend who was sitting on his lap absentmindedly. Peri stretched and curled up into a tighter ball, mewing quietly. Sighing, Topaz glanced down at his friend, a million thoughts racing through his head. Most unwanted. All of them making him feel more frustrated and anxious.
He still had no set plan for the Leader's birthday party, which was in three days time. Topaz sighed once again.
"Oh, whatever. Who needs a plan?" He asked the cat sitting in his lap. "I certainly don't." Peri purred loudly. "Just... take into stride whatever may happen, Topaz,” he told himself. “That's it. Now enough brooding. Brooding wears me out." Topaz gently lifted Peri off of his lap and set him on his bed nearby. He stood for a moment and stretched, then walked out of his compartment without a sound, making sure to leave the door open a crack should Peri need to come out later on.
∞ * ∞ * ∞ * ∞
"I don't like this one," said Eudie, as she dug through the mountain of outfits that sat before her.
"Me neither," said Opal.
"Or this one, too," Eudie wrinkled her nose in disgust at the pink garment she held in her hand.
"Me neither," chimed Opal, always loving the same things her twin loved and hating the things her twin hated.
Amethyst, who was watching from the corner, smiled silently to herself while groaning inwardly. Sifting through the enormous pile of clothes would take ages, but it was also entertaining to watch Eudie's facial expressions. Amethyst felt a little bad for Opal, since she seemed to have no opinions whatsoever of her own regarding the clothes, yet she didn't seem to mind.
Sisters were odd like that, sometimes.
At the moment, their mother had them busy trying to choose an outfit to wear for Ruby Rare's birthday party, which was tomorrow. Sera had, without consulting them, went on a window shopping spree and bought every item of clothing that even remotely looked cute from all the online stores she could think of. Now, the choosing process began.
While the twins were figuring out their outfits, Amethyst was supposed to be choosing her own. But she felt unmotivated, since fashion and looking good in general was never something she paid much attention to. Sooner or later, her mother would come to check how much progress was coming along and to see what Eudie and Opal --more so Eudie choosing than Opal though, really-- had picked out and would find Amethyst there.
And, knowing Amethyst's mother, she wouldn't be pleased knowing that her daughter was procrastinating on a job that she herself had assigned her.
So Amethyst sighed dejectedly with these thoughts still in mind and left her sisters’ room. She went down the hall until she came upon her own room, but stopped when she saw how big and daunting her own mountain of clothes was. It was piled on her bedspread, a blur of all sorts of colors. Blues, purples, greens, reds, even yellows, and oranges.
I can automatically cross those off the list, Amethyst said to herself. She disliked bright colors with a burning passion.
Sighing to herself, Amethyst walked over to the pile of clothes and began digging through it, tossing into a separate pile on the floor anything that was brightly colored without a second glance.
Even though Ruby's birthday celebration invitation had clearly stated that formal-wear was not mandatory, Sera seemed to have gone all out. As she dug through the mountain, Amethyst came upon countless numbers of floor-length dresses, all of which she tossed on the floor too.
If I'm going to a party, I don't want to draw attention, she told herself. Attention wasn't Amethyst's thing. Appearing out of nowhere in a ball gown would definitely cause that. So she decided to go casual. Not her mother's branch of casual, her own casual. No flowery and flowy off-the-shoulder blouses or mini-skirts like Sera herself was doubtless going to wear. But a patterned, semi-fitted top with comfy and stretchy jeans and maybe shoes with a bit of a wedge.
Oh, and shoes were another thing. Amethyst's mother had set down a basket filled to the brim with shoes in Amethyst's closet, but she dismissed that as something to figure out later. No one was going to look at her feet, or care really at all what she wore for footwear. Well, if she wore old sneakers, then maybe. Otherwise, it didn't matter that much to Amethyst.
She shook her head and concentrated on the task at hand. Another ball gown, no. Another sleeveless dress, no. Another vibrantly colored garment? Definitely no. Amethyst grabbed the next outfit that was within reach and held it up in front of her face for a better view. At first glance, it was... tolerable. The fabric was a soft violet color, almost exactly matching her eyes. It was a top of sorts, almost something Amethyst would classify in the blouse category, and it had long sleeves --but the hem extended far past what length a normal shirt would. Amethyst guessed that it would hit at a little above knee length, with the hem surrounded by a loose ruffle. At each cuff, there were little ruffles and a small purple button holding it in place. The neckline wasn't very low at all, reaching about an inch or so past collarbone length, thought Amethyst. The neckline was simple since the shirt itself was a button-up. There were soft pleats in the back that gathered in the waistline, and at second glance, she noticed a small violet-colored belt attached to the waist.
Pondering for a millisecond, Amethyst decided to try it on. She had had experiences with clothes that she like just for the look of them, but when it came to actually trying it on, the garment fit her much differently than she had anticipated. She slipped off her clothes and drew the dress on over her head. It hit her, just as she had assumed, near the knees, and though the neckline was slightly lower than she had thought, she actually liked it.
Amethyst turned so she could look at herself in her floor-length mirror. It was stunning, in her opinion. Just fancy enough for the party, yet still casual enough to fit her tastes. She tied the little belt in a bow in the back, which sucked the sides of the garment in and created an exaggerated hourglass shape with her figure.
"Huh," said Amethyst in a slightly amazed voice. "Thank you, Mom." She grinned at her reflection. Then she turned to stare at the shoe-filled basket in the corner, knowing what the next task to complete was.
∞ * ∞ * ∞ * ∞
A half an hour later, and with many stray pairs of shoes strewn about the room, Amethyst had found "The Pair". It was a sort of sandle with a wedge, as she had wanted. They were a tan color and were rather strappy --much to Amethyst's surprise. She usually couldn't wear strappy shoes, unlike most girls, because the multiple straps rubbed on her feet and caused blisters.
Amethyst put on the shoes and admired herself in the mirror once again with her full outfit on. She even tried pinning up sections of her hair in preparation of possible hairstyle ideas.
Sera walked into the room, slightly startling Amethyst. She stared at her daughter, who was still decked out in her dress and shoes and had half of her hair pinned up and the other half down. Sounding slightly incredulous, Sera said, "Did you find something you like?"
Nodding, Amethyst told her, "Yeah. I think I did."
A slow grin overcame her mother's face. "I thought you might like that one," she said, gesturing to the dress. "It really brings out your eyes."
Amethyst smiled at her mom. "I do."
Mother and daughter looked at each other silently for a moment, before Sera told Amethyst, "If none of those other clothes work for you, just fold them up and set them on the kitchen table, will you? I'll have to ship them back. And I think the twins will need help folding theirs’, too, if you wouldn't mind." Then she left.
Amethyst changed back to her regular clothes, hanging up her dress in her closet with care, and started folding the clothes like her mother had asked.
While she folded her mind wandered to other topics, mostly things having to do with the Priceless. Ruby's party was tomorrow, and she had not heard anything from Topaz regarding plans for his so-called "disruption" that would take place. Amethyst could not wear her comm in the daytime because her parents or sisters might notice the solid black band around her wrist and ask where it had come from, so she kept it hidden in her room and checked on it several times throughout the day.
No message had beeped on her comm since Amethyst had come back from the raid with Larima and Topaz had called everyone back. In fact, Amethyst hadn't even set foot in the Headquarters since that night, and that night had been four days ago.
Taking a break from her folding, Amethyst went over to her dresser, opened the top drawer, and dug around in it until she found her comm. She tapped the screen, making it turn on, but the main consul still read the same: No new messages.
Amethyst sighed. Then, an idea popping into her head, she used her finger and scrolled down until she reached the tab that said: Recents. She tapped on it to open it up, and all the messages she had received from Topaz appeared. Amethyst clicked on the nearest one, and, to her luck, found an option that read: Reply to sender of select message. Which would be Topaz and only Topaz, hopefully.
She started typing out her message, which was a bit tricky because the screen was so small, but then the door to her room burst open. Amethyst shoved the comm deep into her drawer and made to pretend that she was digging around for something.
Eudie and Opal strode in. "Mom says you have to help us fold all the other clothes we don't want," proclaimed Eudie.
Amethyst was about to reply, but Opal, noticing Amethyst's quick movements a few seconds ago, furrowed her brow and asked, "What're you doing, Ame?"
"Trying to find another pin," Amethyst lied, grateful to remember that her hair was still half put up, and rummaged around in her drawer some more.
Eudie paused for a moment, staring hard at Amethyst and said, "That hairstyle looks good on you, Ame. You should do it that way for the party tomorrow."
Slightly taken aback and yet relieved, Amethyst managed to say, "Thank you? I was planning to, but I'm not sure."
"Ooh!" Shouted Opal. "You should do our hair too for the ball!" She clapped her hands together excitedly. Her twin chimed in, "Yeah! You always do the best hairstyles!" Eudie took Amethyst's hand, leading her out of the room and saying, "You can practice on us now."
"Wait!" said Amethyst. "What about folding clothes? Mom won't be happy if she finds out that you didn't-- "
Eudie cut her off with a flick of her hand like the little drama queen that she was. "We can do that later. Come on!"
And with that, Amethyst was dragged out of the room hand and foot, her protests ignored.
(November 24, 2018 - 5:13 pm)
Ah! So good!
Is it weird that I'm like Amethyst, my sister is like Eudie, and my mom's like Sera?
(November 26, 2018 - 8:27 am)
Haha, maybe a little, because I actually based Amethyst off of myself and my sister off of Eudie? XD My mom's not quite such a control freak as Sera is, thankfully.
(November 27, 2018 - 8:29 am)
Yayyyy! This is starting again!
(November 29, 2018 - 8:49 am)
Rereading this section again, I have a question. How do they have enough money to buy all of those clothes when they're Semi-Precious and kind of low?
(December 14, 2018 - 11:02 am)
Well, actually, the order of the Classifications are Rare, Semi-Precious, Gem, and Common, so I don't think they would be too low? Though that is a good question... *hastily scribbles in notes*
(January 22, 2019 - 10:42 am)
Why, oh why, is this on the THIRD page of the Inkwell? WE MUST RESTORE IT TO THE TOP!!!! IT CANNOT BE LEFT HERE TO DIIIIIIIIIIIE!
(December 24, 2018 - 1:19 pm)
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single thread in possession of a large amount of faith must be in want of the top page.
(December 28, 2018 - 2:51 pm)
OH OH OH
I COMPLETELY FORGOT
*facepalm*
I FINISHED MY NOVEL! I FINISHED ALL THAT GLITTERS! :D I can't believe I forgot until just now to tell you guys (or, whoever is still reading this... rip).
So, yeah. Very excited. XD I finished on the 17'th of December, I believe. 70,852 words exactly and most likely over 200 pages! Ah, and 30-something chapters.
I just wanted to give a quick thank you to my readers up until this point. Your encouragement (as well as many other people's, of course) is really only what brought me to this point, to the end. So thank you. :) And thanks for putting up with my continuous procrastination when it comes to updates too.... hehe.
And now the editing process has begun! Looky here, I can attatch a photo of my printed manuscript. It's so thick, I was worried our printer was going to run out of ink! As soon as this thread tops, I WILL post another installment... promise.
(January 22, 2019 - 10:51 am)