Places to Chat
So.I'm w
Chatterbox: Inkwell
So.I'm w
So.
I'm writing a book.
For Camp NaNoWriMo/NaNoWriMo/just on my own time.
Called "Glittering Stones, and what truly lies beneath." (Which sounds unbelievably cheesy, I know. ;))
It's a dystopian genre, so the government of now has been obliterated and now it is very corrupt. There may be some fighting, later on, just a heads up to @Admins, but nothing gory like BLOOD BLOOD DEATTTHH, etc ; ) You will understand more of the plot later on, but just know that the people in my story are not... normal people. They are named after gemstones, and they live in a strict caste system, sorted into "Classifications" according to how precious of a stone they are. It focuses on two MCs, Amethyst, and Topaz, who you will soon meet.
And I really need some feedback! Anything! Whether its grammar or rephrasing an, erm, phrase or anything! I would really appreciate it. I'll post the first few chapters, and if I hear from people then I'll post more.
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
Prologue, Two Years Earlier...
"Amethyst. Amethyst! Hello? Can you hear me?"
The voice sounded far away, very distant, but it slowly came back into focus. Here she was, Amethyst, standing in the kitchen, completely lost in thought.
"Finally! You went off into your 'dreamland' thing again." Her 9-year-old sister, Eudie, made air-quotes around the word, "Dreamland", enunciating the fact that there was no such thing in her opinion, at least.
Amethyst rolled her eyes, then went back to kneading the bread dough that she was preparing for Eveningmeal. "What was it that we were talking about again?" she asked her little sister.
Placing a hand on her hip, Eudie said, "We were wondering where in all the wide world Opal is hiding, and why so much healthy stuff has to go into this bread!" She poked a finger at a lump of the dough for emphasis.
Amethyst laughed. "You were wondering why most of these ingredients were healthy in this recipe, not me. I don't create the recipes, I just make them. But now that you mention it, I am getting a little worried about Opal. When was the last time you saw her?"
Eudie checked her wristwatch. "We started playing H&F almost an hour ago! She found me two times, so then I said best out of five, she went off to hide, and now I just can't find her!"
Grinning at her, Amethyst said, "Now's the time to admit that she's a better Hider than you are." But really, she was worried. Opal was known to go wander off by herself at times, but not for so long. Eudie and Opal were biological twins not identical in any way except for the fact that they shared the same Birthing Day. While Eudie was the life of the party and enjoyed chatting nonstop about nonsensical things, (Or, the life the party that a 9-year-old could have) Opal only talked when necessary and enjoyed a little peace and quiet to herself.
"Well," Amethyst began. "Where have you searched already? I'll help you look for her, but we can cross off whatever places you already checked." As she talked, she formed the now well-kneaded bread dough into loaves and put them on a metal sheet covered with a towel to rise. Then she dusted her hands on her apron and hung it on a peg on the nearby wall.
"I for sure looked all over the basement, and I think I got most of the third story too," Eudie told her as they began their slow search of the large house.
First, they began on the ground floor, peeking around commonplace things like window drapes and under tables until Eudie finally convinced Amethyst that if "she had hidden under those things, I wouldn't have needed your help!" However, that was what the ground floor was made up of for the most part; commonplace hiding places. There were none of the delicious and dark shrouded corners and closets like the upstairs or basement.
A quick peek of the lower and upper floors proved Eudie's point that she "already checked really good!" in those places.
Now Amethyst was panicking slightly. But only on the inside, never the out. Amethyst couldn't show Eudie how afraid she was. She was supposed to be the responsible one. The caretaker when their parents weren't home. Amethyst knew that if she started to panic, Eudie would too. Still, she couldn't help shouting her younger sister's name a little louder, the sound echoing off the spacious walls of the home like resonant waves on a seashore.
The only place there could possibly be left for Opal to hide was the outdoors. The yard of the house where Amethyst, her sisters, and her mother and father lived in was large, to say the least. Large and spread out, with very few trees or shrubs where a petite 9-year-old may hide.
It was also Curfew.
From 13:00 to 16:00, no person without military, police, or medical licensing could leave the building that they were currently residing in when Curfew began. The three sister's parents, Sera and Howlite, had neither. They were common Merchants, buying, trading and selling items at a higher or lower price (depending on just who was doing the buying) to different persons "in need."
At noon, Amethyst's parents had attended a Gathering at noon and were not expected to be back until well past Curfew. It was better to be safe than sorry when dealing with the Afternoon Curfew, which was one of Amethyst's inner hatreds. But that was a thing for another time. Right now, the only thing that mattered was whether or not Opal was out of doors and/or abducted by neighboring Authorities.
Amethyst inhaled deeply, once, then motioned to Eudie to come closer, as if there were said neighboring Authorities wandering about the house. "I think Opal might have gone outside." Brace for the explosion.
"What?! Why -why would she do that?!? She knows that it's Curfew! She knows what will happen if she... if she's... caught." The last word was spoken as if it was painful to get out. Amethyst could see her own panic mirrored in the eyes of her sister.
"Well," she said to Eudie, softly. "I'll have to go out and check."
"NO! Ame, you can't!!"
Turning and walking down the hallway, Amethyst said, "I have to, Eudie. You need to stay here. I doubt I'll be gone that long, but if Mom and Dad come back, you explain all that's happening to them."
"But where are you going? The front door isn't that way!" Eudie followed her down the hall, to where Amethyst opened a door to a room that she had not often been in: her father's. On the threshold, Eudie stopped.
"What are you doing in Dad's room? He doesn't like it when we go in here..."
Amethyst rummaged through the dusty wardrobe that was shoved into a corner, pulling out one of her father's long grey trench-capes. "I can't just go waltzing outside during Curfew; I'll be reported for sure. I'll stick to the alleys and wear Dad's cape, so even if someone does see me, I won't be immediately recognized."
Eudie nodded, looking very pale, but did not say anything else as Amethyst donned the long, voluminous trench-cape and pulled up the hood. Her face was draped in shadows, and her hands and legs were buried in the thick folds of the cape, making her completely unrecognizable as the 16-year-old daughter of Sera and Howlite Semi-precious. Instead, she looked like a regular person whose salary was profitable enough to afford a trench-cape, and who just happened to be out and about during Curfew.
Amethyst sighed at her image in the mirror, then turned to hug her sister. "Wish me luck," she whispered in her Eudie's ear. Eudie managed a wan smile. "You and Opal both," she told Amethyst.
With one more nod in her sister's direction, Amethyst walked down the hall, then she slowly turned the doorknob of the rear entrance. It slid open soundlessly, casting a shadow from the warm afternoon sun that slithered down the hallway. Amethyst, too, slid out the door without a sound.
She was wearing her house shoes, which would make less noise on the cobblestone-clad alley than her boots. The cape, too, made a swishing noise every time she took a hurried step, so she slowed her pace just a bit. Amethyst tried to shake away the dread that she felt creeping up her spine, but it was almost too much. She'd heard stories of people that had been caught outside during Curfew, she and Eudie and Opal all had. That's why she'd been so pale. Once the Authorities dragged you off, kicking and screaming, protesting that your pet had gone missing or some other completely plausible excuse for being outside, you were never seen again. Amethyst tried to force those grim thoughts down. She didn't need them floating around her mind right now, taunting her. Instead, she focused on her steps.
Right, left. Right, left.
Behind the Semi-Precious' backdoor was an alleyway. One way lead out onto the main road and the other led in the direction of their communities' yard. Amethyst crept down the alley towards the yard, thinking that the yard would be the most logical place for Opal to have gone. She had almost reached the edge of the yard, but stopped when she heard an urgent whisper:
"Pst. Hey. Hey, you. You with the grey cape."
Amethyst froze. The voice had come from behind one of the Waste Compartments. She turned, glad that the hood covered her face, and whispered back, making sure to keep her voice low, "What? Who's there? What are you doing outside during Curfew?"
After a pause, the voice behind the Waste Compartment said in the same cool-yet-quiet-voice, "I could ask the same about you." The voice was clearer, now. Most definitely belonging to a young man, a boy, perhaps. A bronze-skinned finger popped out from behind the Compartment and waggled at her to come closer.
Squaring her shoulders beneath the cloak, Amethyst shook her head silently. "I have other more important things to do than obey a strange person who spends their free time hiding behind Waste Compartments," she said in whispered --while still firm-- voice. "Good da--" The arm belonging to the bronze-skinned finger and whispered voice shot out from behind the Compartment, latching onto her own and dragging Amethyst down behind the Compartment with them.
She landed in a heap with a loud thump, her vision blocked by her hood falling over her eyes she started to cry out but stopped when she heard voices.
Men, most likely, running in the alleyway and shouting at each other from where she'd been standing moments ago. The Authorities. Doubtless, they would've seen her and taken her away had she done what she intended and continued searching in the alley for Opal.
"You sure?" one of the men asked in a gruff voice that grated on Amethyst's ears.
"I swear! I heard people talking!" another insisted.
"Eh, must've been the wind," the first one said.
"Wind? What wind?! It's the middle of After-Snow!" retorted the other. Their mingled voices faded away as they returned to their posts down the road once more.
Breathless from her close encounter, Amethyst yanked off her hood and confronted her rescuer. It was a young man, or rather, he, with bronzed skin to match his arm and finger, wearing tattered jeans and a shirt. His eyes were the most striking part, however; they were a clear ocean blue, shifting from an aqua green. If he seemed surprised that the wearer of a Merchant's trench-cape was a teenage girl, he did not show it. The smirk plastered on his face clearly said, "I told you so" mingled with a dash of "Why didn't you listen to me in the first place?"
That annoyed Amethyst. Very much.
Ruffled and flustered, she managed to get out a, "Thank you," and, "Who are you?"
With a slight air, as if he were offended that she hadn't recognized him already, he told her, "I go by Topaz."
She nodded. "I'm, well, you can call me Amethyst." Then, with hesitation, she added, "Nice to have met you, I just... wish it were under different circumstances... " Which reminded her of her reason for being out during Curfew in the first place. Amethyst got to her knees and scanned the alleyway both directions for lingering Authorities before standing completely.
"I would ask of the circumstances regarding our encounter," Topaz said, getting up and standing too. "But we all have our own secrets, most of which don't need to be shared."
Amethyst didn't quite understand his logic but nodded anyway. "Have you seen a little girl of about 8 or 9 anywhere around here?" she whispered to him.
Topaz's eyes fixed on something behind her, and he said/whispered with mild interest, "Why yes, I have." And he pointed to something behind her.
Amethyst turned, following to where he had gestured and there was Opal. She was crouched down among some other Waste Compartments, looking very guilty, very scared, and very close to tears at the same time. Still not daring to yell, lest the Authorities might hear her, Amethyst rushed over to her sister and enveloped her in a hug. Opal whispered into her ear how she had gone outside to hide and had heard some Authorities making rounds and had had to stay in her hiding place so long that she'd fallen asleep. She had woken up when she'd heard the Authorities come and go just a few minutes ago and had caught sight of Amethyst and Topaz.
After Opal had shed a few well-deserved tears, Amethyst motioned for her to go back inside, where she knew that a worried Eudie was waiting.
But when a very grateful Amethyst turned around, Topaz was gone.
submitted by Vyolette
(May 1, 2018 - 7:44 pm)
(May 1, 2018 - 7:44 pm)
Thank you! ^^
The next part will be out soon!
(May 19, 2018 - 7:52 pm)
Noooo!! No more parts!
I mean, I know there are more parts, but no more now...
Cause I was gone for a while and then suddenly there were more parts and I read all of them and now there are none more and I am sad.
About the --s... I see your point. It might help if you removed some of the whichs and assorted other awkward words that might not be necessary (although possibly they are necessary, so don't trust me for sure).
I'm not sure who this Bloodstone person is (besides that they're part of the Priceless), so that's mysterious. And what's also kinda worrying is that the invitation was to Amethyst specifically. Do the Leaders know that Amethyst is part of the rebellion? Or is it just routine - like they do that for every family? I'm very intrigued...
Please! Please post more!
(May 19, 2018 - 11:15 pm)
@Kitten- Well, by the time you see this, a new part will be posted, so... XD And I'm not quite sure what you mean about the awkward words, but if you read anything that sounds off, please tell me!
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
Chapter Thirteen
Everything was going wrong.
Or, so Amethyst's mother said.
Howlite and Sera had returned back from their mid-week Merchant Gathering earlier than normal because there had been a strike. Of course, the Authorities had immediately intervened, telling the people gathered outside the building where Gatherings were held (Consequently, also the place where Ruby's party would take place within the next week.) to go home, or else. Sera and Howlite had quickly obeyed --Howlite, even though being outspoken in most areas of politics, wanted no part in it whatsoever, which slightly disappointed Amethyst-- catching the nearest bus back home.
What was this fabled strike about? They had no clue. The three sisters' parents had not stuck around long enough to find out. Amethyst, however, was out to get to the bottom of it. And she thought she knew just how to...
"Everything is going wrong!" was what Sera had shouted after they had been home for about an hour. Already, that week's shipment of rations was delayed --no doubt because of the strike blocking the streets-- and Tom/Peri had disappeared. Eudie and Opal were close to tears, worried that their cat friend had somehow gone missing because of the commotion outside on the streets. But Amethyst could guess where he was. Most likely somewhere off with Topaz, but for some reason, earlier in the day than usual.
She was itching for a chance to use her newfound privileges as a Priceless member to go see what they knew on the subject of this so-called strike --and of course, to see the strike in her own eyes. Amethyst had gone back down to the secret tunnels of the Priceless headquarters only two times since she had joined last week. Nothing exciting had been going on, everyone had been sitting around, doing nothing. She did get the opportunity to meet one of Topaz's 'special operatives' as he called them, someone named Chrys. From what she had gathered while listening to their dull conversations seated around the table, the Priceless knew everything. When and where every little, teeny tiny incident in society had occurred, thanks to Topaz's Special Ops., no doubt. However, because Amethyst's parents had come back from the Merchant Gathering so early and the fact that Sera was in such a huff, Amethyst knew she wouldn't be going to the Priceless HQ any time soon.
"Without the rations, we can't eat!" Sera said to herself, though definitely not quietly. "We were already so low on supplies and I was counting on the truck to come after the Gathering was over but now thanks to the silly strike we have no dinner!" She banged a pot for further emphasis, a scowl deepening her face. Then she sighed. "I'll just have to scrounge through what we have left..." Sera went without another word to go dig through the pantry.
Amethyst, who had been silently observing from the doorway, left, not wanting to get in her mother's way when she was on a tangent like this. She passed Howlite in the hall on her way to the upstairs.
"Is your mother in there?" He asked Amethyst.
"Yep," was all she said. Then she jogged her way up the stairs.
She passed her sister's bedrooms on the way to her own and heard sniffling. Apparently, the twins were past the 'close to tears' stage and were in fact, in tears. They were both in Opal's room, sitting on the plush carpeted floor next to each other. They looked up as Amethyst walked into the room.
Eudie and Opal both had salt stains on their checks, but wiped them away and rubbed their noses. Amethyst sighed, not moving from the threshold.
"He'll be fine, girls. You have no reason to get so worked up." After a few minutes, she added, "Tom survived on the streets for a long, long time before I found him, remember? He's in his element, and it's not like he hasn't disappeared before."
Eudie sniffed once more. "You're probably right, Ame."
Amethyst smiled slightly. "I know I am. Just give it some time. He'll be back." Then she walked down the hallway, enter in her room and shutting the door behind her. A slight breeze ruffled the lace curtains at the window, but otherwise, all was silent.
She walked over to the window wanting some fresh air and passed her dresser mirror on the way. Vivid purple eyes, round nose, a tanned face and long, curly, dark hair was the sight that greeted her. Amethyst had inherited her nose and skin from her mother, who was part Filipino. But the hair was all her father's. Thick, kinky, and un-tamable. Today, Amethyst was wearing casual clothes; a plain, short-sleeved top that was light blue, and jeans. As well as her comfy, in-the-house loafers.
She turned away from her reflection, breathing in the somewhat-less-stuffy-than-what-was-in-the-house air that blew into her room. That felt good. But then a particularly strong breeze came, whipping the curtains back and forth, blowing Amethyst's hair into her eyes and mouth, and rustling the piece of paper that was sitting on her bed.
Wait, piece of paper?
She turned, and sitting on her pillow was a note. It was short and messily written, but Amethyst got the message.
Come to HQ ASAP. Making plans. Destroy this after reading.
-T
Amethyst exhaled sharply. Great. Now she had a legitimate reason to go to the Priceless Headquarters but had no way to get there without someone noticing she was missing.
She was silent for a moment, thinking to herself. It wasn't Curfew, so she wouldn't have to dodge the Authorities who would have doubtless otherwise been patrolling. But what with this.. strike going on… there would surely be Authorities around the streets and roads trying to contain them. It was almost time for her family to eat their dinner, which was another problem.
Amethyst sighed once again.
There would be no chance of her being able to sneak out of the house, down the alleys without being seen, make it to the HQ, stay there for however long was needed in order to "plan", then come back home without her family going into hysterics once again over her disappearing on them.
She leaned out her window, bracing her forearms on the sill so that she wouldn't fall, her mind flummoxed. The note was crumpled in Amethyst's hand, and she read it through once more, as if she had accidentally misread something that would solve her current conundrum. But there was nothing, and she started ripping the small piece of paper to shreds like the note had ordered, but stopped when she saw something below her.
Or, someone.
They were standing in the shadows, almost directly beneath her window. As far as she could tell, that's all they were doing. Just standing. She could make out the person's hair color; almost white-blonde, but other than that, she was too high up to see anything else. Amethyst wondered who they were and why they were standing in that particular place.
It wasn't an Authority, she was almost completely sure of that. For one, Authorities had on at all times their signature grey uniform and cap; this person was bareheaded. The other thing was that the alley behind the Semi-Precious 020's home was not a station for the Authorities. Meaning, that they did not patrol regularly. If an Authority were away from their post, it most likely meant that they were investigating something. The person below Amethyst's window was standing stock-still, as if waiting for something.
Then, just as this thought flashed through Amethyst's mind, the person looked up.
Glittering violet eyes, not unlike her own, a pointed nose and heart-shaped face peered at Amethyst. Immediate recognition took place and the name, Lolite flickered through Amethyst's head. She ducked back into her room.
Lolite? What is Lolite doing here? was what Amethyst wanted to know. But wait, could Topaz have sent her? To deliver the note? How could she have gotten into my bedroom....? But Amethyst shook the thought away. There was obviously more to the Priceless than meets the eye, and how Lolite may or may not have gotten into Amethyst's room was not an important question at the moment.
An idea popping into her head, Amethyst grabbed the nearest writing utensil and began scribbling out a message on the backside of Topaz's note.
I can't come to the HQ right now. Someone will notice. Tell T that I'll be there sometime after sundown.
-A
Then she folded the note into a rectangle and dropped it out the window, making sure to drop it where Lolite had been standing. Nobody was there for a minute or two, then Lolite stepped out from behind the nearby yard fence and picked up the note off the ground.
She scanned through the contents quickly, then gave a thumbs-up signal to Amethyst, who had been waiting by the window. Then Lolite melted into the alley, leaving Amethyst alone once again.
∞ * ∞ * ∞ * ∞
The hatch slid open with a thud, Larima's familiar face peeking out. She waved Amethyst down the hole then disappeared once more. Amethyst climbed down the hatch slowly, being careful to make sure that her feet connected with the rungs before she put her full weight down. It was almost 22:45, making it almost so dark that Amethyst had trouble seeing her hand in front of her own face, much lest dark ladder rungs in a narrow tunnel opening.
She hopped down the last few feet, remembering that the bottom rung was rusted clean off. Larima was standing next to the ladder, waiting, metal pendant in hand.
"It's procedure, Amethyst," she said, grabbing onto Amethyst's outstretched forearm and waving the pendant overtop of it. After a few seconds, the familiar, glowing Priceless insignia appeared.
"You're clear," Larima told her, then began walking on ahead to the actual Headquarters. Amethyst followed, blinking in the dim light. Larima knocked out the passcode on the entrance hatch, and Sugi's hand gestured them inside.
As soon as Amethyst stepped into the room, her eyes registered on Topaz. He seemed to sigh in relief, which made her slightly confused. He nodded once in her direction, signaling that he would speak with her in a minute.
It seemed that Amethyst was not the only one that was arriving at the Headquarters later than what Topaz had wanted. Not everyone was there yet, and Kyan and Cassy had yet to make an appearance. However, a few seconds later, Sugi unlocked the hatch and Kyan stepped through, having to duck because of his slightly-more-than-average height. When he caught sight of Amethyst, he grinned.
"Hello," he said to her in his smooth, rumbling voice as he walked over to where she was standing.
Amethyst returned the greeting, telling him, "Hi." She didn't know exactly why they were greeting each other, but she did it just the same, trying to be friendly. It's not like she and Kyan had all-of-the-suddenly become best friends in the six times that they had encountered one another, but it wouldn't do to make the impression on everyone that she was rude and a hermit.
Kyan glanced around the room, taking in the busyness that was surrounding them. "So you've heard about the strike?" He asked Amethyst, who nodded.
"That's why I didn't get here sooner, because there was so high a chance that someone could have seen me in all the commotion. But I... actually haven't heard what the people are striking against."
He smiled. "Yeah, same. But only I do know what the strike's about. Something with the Merchants. I'm sure Topaz will explain more once we're all here." Kyan gestured over to where Topaz was talking to Larima in the corner. Topaz noticed them staring, and he ended his conversation with Larima, leaving her in a huff, for whatever reason, and went over to them.
Topaz spoke to Amethyst first. "You had no trouble getting here?" When she nodded, he added, with one eyebrow raised, "None at all?"
"No," Amethyst told him.
He looked at her for a minute, then said, "You're sure no one followed you?"
Amethyst opened her mouth to speak, but Kyan cut her off. "Cool it, Paz. You can trust Amethyst. Why do you think she waited all this time to finally come? She wasn't sure it was safe."
That seemed to settle Topaz's mind, and he nodded once and walked away, going to talk to some other member of the Priceless.
"Um, thank you?" Amethyst said to Kyan. "You didn't have to defend me, and you only knew I had come late a few minutes ago."
Kyan seemed to shrug. "I know."
Behind them, Sugi moved to let another member inside. Cassy stepped out and grinned at the two of them standing nearby, but more directed at Amethyst. She opened her mouth to say something, but Topaz began speaking, taking his place near the head of the table in the center of the room.
"Are we all here?" Topaz asked the group before him. After a few heads nodded, he continued.
"As I'm sure you all know, a strike began earlier today near the auditorium in the center of town. Moldy was there for it." He gestured to a man standing beside him that Amethyst hadn't noticed before. He was significantly older than most of the people present, with somewhat blurry green eyes and a stubbly chin, showing that he hadn't shaved in a few days. His voice was deep and rumbling, almost like thunder as he spoke. Amethyst assumed that Moldy was a special operative since she had not seen him around at any other of the Priceless meetings.
"I was attending the Merchant's Gathering because I myself am a Merchant by trade. People attending the Gatherings had been complaining about lack of trade outside of Mineria for quite some time. I don't know how many of you know this, but the Leaders had, and I quote, "temporarily" cut off trade with surrounding countries and kingdoms. Well, it's been over six months. Everyone knows that the trade is not going to be opened anytime soon." Moldy paused, catching his breath, and Larima asked him a question.
"Why? Why on earth would the Leaders cut off trade routes? They themselves rely on so many things imported from other countries; why force themselves to suffer along with everyone else?"
Moldy shook his head. "That's a good question. One I don't know the answer to."
Amethyst tried to recall any conversation she may have overheard either intentionally or unintentionally that her parents had had about the trade lock-down, but nothing came to mind.
They must've heard something about it, she thought to herself. You can't be a good Merchant and not know that your normal world-wide buyers are cut off from you...
Bloodstone glanced at everyone around her cautiously. "Was it just the Merchants that are participating in the strike?"
Shaking his head once again, Moldy told her, "No. Other Classifications that were nearby either on the streets or inside the auditorium participating in some other event joined the Merchants when they heard what had happened."
Bloodstone didn't say anything else, but she looked satisfied with his answer.
"We've been planning," Topaz began again.
"Surprise, surprise," Cassy muttered beside Amethyst, then grinned as she caught Amethyst looking at her.
"And we don't know how long this will last. The latest report we got said that most of the Authorities stationed around the city were hard at work trying to break up the mob. It could either fizzle away slowly because the people aren't willing to risk trouble from higher authority. Or, they could remain firm and the strike could last for weeks. Not all strikes are verbal or physical. In fact, the very definition of a strike is 'a refusal to work organized by a body of employees as a form of protest, typically in an attempt to gain a concession or concessions from their employer.' Meaning that people may break up from the mobs they are in now and pretend to give up, but they still boycott other merchandise from the Merchant Council."
Amethyst nodded slowly to herself, agreeing with the logic of his statement. "What do we do until then? Just sit around and wait? Again?"
Moldy glanced in her direction, as if not recognizing who she was, and Amethyst saw Topaz whisper something to him, probably explaining that Amethyst was a new recruit.
"Ah, you're a newbie," Moldy said to her, smiling slightly and revealing rather crooked teeth. "Welcome to the club, Amethyst. Both literally and figuratively. I'm Moldavite, but you may call me Moldy." He stuck his hand out for her to shake, and Amethyst did, a little confused as to why everyone was being so particularly friendly to her all of the sudden. "It's not often we get new members, as Topaz will tell you. He scares them all off."
Amethyst laughed, understanding just plausible that was.
"In answer to your question, no. It's time to cause a little chaos around our fair city of Mineria. So pick a weapon and let's prepare to head out."
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
There's your strike, @Inky. XD
(May 20, 2018 - 3:09 pm)
SO GOOD!!! Okay, speculations. It sounded a lot like Topaz was hinting at something when he was asking Amethyst if someone had followed her. And the whole thing with Kyan standing up for Amethyst for no apparent reason? Do Topaz and Kyan have a plan they were acting out there or something? And how did one of the Priceless get into Amethyst's bedroom? I'm SO excited for the next part!!
(May 20, 2018 - 7:13 pm)
Haha, I knew it! >:D
Whoohoo! LET'S GO! :D This part has me PUMPED! x3
(May 21, 2018 - 2:45 pm)
This is amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Quite honestly, this is better than a lot of the books on my bookshelf. Keep writing! I can't wait to find out what happens with the strike, and at the ball...
(May 21, 2018 - 4:23 pm)
WHEN WILL SHE ASK THEM ABOUT THE INVITATION?!? She needs to bring it up - it might be important!
By 'awkward words,' I meant 'that' and 'which' and other words that may or may not be necessary to the sentence and disrupt the flow. I didn't see any in this latest chapter, so I don't have any examples. This may not have made any sense. Sorry!
(May 22, 2018 - 9:00 am)
Chapter Fourteen
Topaz pulled down his hood so that it covered his face, then deftly tucked his numerous small knives into their hiding places around his person. To his left, Larima was doing the same, only, she was zipping into her trademark black jumpsuit and sliding her one and only favorite knife into its sheath around her waist.
Other members of the Priceless were doing the same all around them --donning black masks and clothing and concealing one or more small knives or other weapons somewhere on them. Topaz noticed Amethyst was standing a little distance off from the group, looking a little lost. He mentally smacked himself. Of course, she didn't have any disguise or weapons! This was her first real mission, after all.
Topaz pulled his hood back and walked over to where she was standing. "You don't have anything, do you?" He said it as a question, but Topaz really meant it as a statement. Amethyst shook her head, her arms crossed. He let out a sharp sigh, then told her, "Wait one minute."
He went back over to Larima, who was now carefully smoothing her long hair beneath her stocking-mask in the mirror. Topaz opened his mouth to speak, but Larima began first, turning and looking at him. "She doesn't have anything, doesn't she?"
Topaz gave a wry smile. "You wouldn't happen to have any extras that would fit her?"
Larima glanced in Amethyst's direction, taking in her slim frame, then looked at herself and taking in her rather curvy build. "Maybe something," she said, slowly. "But it'll be a little big on her. Though I guess mine's as best a bet we're going to get since everyone else only has one set of gear or is a completely different build altogether."
She went over to the storage cabinet that was built into the wall near the left and dug through the cubby that was marked 'L. G.' Larima came back out with a similar black jumpsuit like the one she had on and shouted, "Ame! Heads up!" Then she tossed the fabric bundle in Amethyst's direction, who caught it with a small fumble. Amethyst nodded her thanks, then started pulling the jumpsuit on over her street clothes.
Topaz turned back to Larima. "Any knives or anything else?"
"Um, my knife is the only weapon I own. You sure you don't have any to spare?"
Topaz sighed once again. The only weapons he had brought with him from his quarters farther down the tunnel were his knives, since he hadn't been anticipating Amethyst being without gear. And Topaz didn't really want to have to go all the way back to his quarters to try to find extra weapons that he may or may not let Amethyst use.
She'll be fine without them, he said to himself. It's her first time, and even if it weren't, there's a one-in-a-million chance that she would need to defend herself against an attack.
Besides, this was the Priceless they were talking about. They didn't go around picking fights and killing people just for fun. Though the raid they were about to do was slightly out of the ordinary for them.
Even so, Topaz promised himself to keep an eye on her, and be her sort of guardian angel until Amethyst got the hang of things, at least.
Moldy stepped into view from the corner where he had been getting himself ready and addressed the members of the Priceless standing before him, who were done getting prepared for the most part. "Everyone done? Do you have your black on? Your knives or other sorts of weapons?"
Topaz glanced quickly at Amethyst, who was hugging her arms to her chest once again now that she had her slightly-less-than skin-tight jumpsuit on. She looked like she was about to open her mouth to say that no, she did not have any weapons, but Topaz quickly strode over to her side and said, "You'll be fine. We don't have any other weapons available for you to use, but if it makes you feel any better, here."
He handed her one of his small knives concealed on his arm, making the decision to let her use it in an instant. Amethyst accepted it without a word, but the look she gave him was slightly anxious as she took in everyone else's rather visible weapons stashed on their person. Topaz fought back the almost overwhelming urge to tell her once again that she would be fine, but didn't. The more he said it to her, the less she would believe that it was true.
Gesturing to the maps spread out on the table for all to see, Moldy said, "This is the plan that Topaz and I have constructed. We move out as one for the second and first street, then split into either solo or partnered groups, depending on how resourceful you are or how many times you've done this."
Topaz thought Moldy glanced at Amethyst as he said that last part, but he wasn't sure.
"Better to choose your partners now, if you need any, so that there's not as much confusion outside in the dark," continued Moldy.
Topaz walked over to Moldy as the people around him shuffled and the less experienced asked other people to be their partners. "How long should this go for?"
"What do you mean?" said Moldy.
"I mean, how long should this go for," Topaz told him. "As in its already quarter 'til midnight, so how long do we let them raid until it's time to call it quits?"
Readjusting his knife sheath on his hip, Moldy told him, " I don't know. Let's just see how it goes, and if it goes well then maybe we'll stay out for a while. If it goes bad, we can always comm them to retreat."
Topaz nodded and said no more, Moldy's comment about the comms reminding him that Amethyst didn't have one yet. He went over to the compartment where they usually stashed their maps of Mineria and dug around for a few minutes until he found a spare comm. Topaz clicked the on-switch, making the small, square screen light up as he found Amethyst in the crowd of bodies.
She looked up as he approached from where Larima and her were standing, who was doubtless going to be her partner. "Here is your comm. I forgot to give it to you earlier." Topaz walked away before Amethyst could say anything.
Carnie sidled up to Topaz as he walked to the entryway of the room. "Paz," he began. "I know you know that I'm not exactly new to this whole thing, but... " Carnie paused, and Topaz raised an eyebrow, guessing what he was about to say. "Would you mind being my partner?"
Topaz gave a wan smile. "Sure."
A grin broke out on Carnie's face, but he said no more as he positioned himself at Topaz's left, waiting with excitement. Topaz spoke to everyone gathered in the room. "Are we ready? Finally? You know what, nevermind. If someone isn't ready, then they'll just have to remain behind until they are while the rest of us get started. We've wasted enough time already. Let's move out."
(May 23, 2018 - 2:33 pm)
This is sooo cool! My only two critiques for this section are super nitpicky and opinion-based (actually the last one is more of a comment); one, that I just realized that the name of the country was mineria, which means mining in Spanish, other might notice too, and that I was hoping for some cooler weapons for the priceless than just knives. :)
Anyway, this is great, and I can't wait for the next update.
(May 23, 2018 - 5:36 pm)
XD Haha, and here I was, thinking I was little Miss Clever with coming up with Mineria on my own. XD I actually didn't know it was a real word. It was kinda just supposed to be a pun; Mineria = minerals = stones = jewels, etc. And you just gave me some insight, the Priceless having cooler weapons, or, actually, any other weapons at all besides knives. XD
(May 23, 2018 - 8:06 pm)
Not to be rude or anything, but a lot of the time the cool names in Star Wars are based off of real words, so I think Mineria is a great name for a jewel-based city. :)
(May 24, 2018 - 1:24 pm)
No, you're not being rude! I'm glad, actually, that you think so! :)
(May 24, 2018 - 6:49 pm)
This so amazing, Vy!!! I've been meaning to post a little bit more like you do for me but school has just been--- blergh. But now it's done and I intend to keep on top of updates! Keep up the amazing work and stay awesome. :)
~Starseeker
(May 26, 2018 - 10:06 am)
Thanks! And yeah, that's fine. Even if it's not after every new installment, your comments still mean a lot. :)
(May 27, 2018 - 11:54 am)
Agent Writer's right about Mineria. By "I recodnized it, so others might too," I meant, "I thought it sounded firmiliar so I Googled it and it turned out to be a Spanish word, so Spanish speakers reading it would probably recodnize it." :)
(May 30, 2018 - 3:21 pm)