Actually, um.... what should I call you? THEBAKERREADERAUTHOR is rather a lot to type. I'll get back to you on that...

I have a good far-fetched plan already, it's just the individual posts I need to figure out. A little here, a little there... Oh! Idea! Here we go!! 

___________

Brookiera was lonely.

You get that way sometimes. Not many people liked her, and she wasn't really sure why. Of course, those new first years- Dragonrider and St.Owl and Indigo- were all right, and so was Danie (who kept disappearing once a month. That was strange), but what she really wanted was someone her own age to talk to.

She scribbled down a few names, not really listening to Professor Binns as he droned on about goblin wars. She'd read about it all already, anyway, and no one was listening to the ghost. Brookiera was pretty sure that a riot could break out under his nose and he would still talk about Emeric the Evil and Urbage the Ugly without batting a transparent eye.

"This place could do with a pie or two," said a voice above Brookiera's head. She looked up.

"Yeah, definitely could."

Two people were leaning on her desk. One of them seemed to be made entierely out of fire. The other was wearing a mask and a cape.

"It could do with a few fires, too," said the fire-person. "We should've gone down to the dungeons!"

"Shifting and Volcano went to the dungeons!" said the masked person. "This will be way more fun! Look at how many people I can throw pies at!"

"There's nothing flammable," the fire-person pouted. "And the teacher's already dead."

"You were going to kill the teacher?" asked Brookiera against her will.

"I TOLD YOU TO STOP TALKING!" shouted the masked person. "NOW SHE'S NOTICED US! GO, GO, GO, GO!!!!"
He summoned a pie out of nowhere and threw it at the nearest kid.

Brookiera sighed.

Her mind raced.

I could tell them to stop, she thought, but they probably won't listen. They're acting rather coo-coo. Strange. Senile. Maybe they just want attention. And the best way to stop someone is to not give them what they want.

So, she calmly opened a book.

"HEY!" said the masked person. "HEY! I'M SMASHING PIES INTO YOUR CLASSMATES' FACES!"
"Quicker, quicker!" said the voice. "The torches will soon be relit."

"Half a minute!" said Dori, who was at the back next to Bilbo, and a decent fellow. He made the hobbit scramble onto his shoulders as best he could with his tied hands, and then off they all went at a run, with a clink-clink of chains, and many a stumble, since they hand no hands to steady themselves with. Not for a long while did they stop, and by that time they must have been right down in the very mountain's heart.

"HEY! ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION?"

Then Gandalf lit up his wand. Of course it was Gandalf; but just then they were too busy to ask how he got there. He took out his sword again, and again it flashed in the dark by itself. It burned with a rage that made it gleam as if goblins were about; now it was bright as blue flame for delight in the killing of the great lord of the cave.

Unfortunately, at that moment, a large custard cream pie fell across the pages of The Hobbit.

"Hey! That was a hardcover edition!" Brookiera shouted before she coud stop herself. "Really!"

Then she siphoned off the pie with her wand and picked up the book again.

"Hey, Masked, can we go?" asked the flaming person. "This is getting REALLY BORING."
"Shifting and Volcano are lucky," grumbled Masked. "At least they get reactions, not a bookworm that can't keep her NOSE OUT OF A FREAKING BOOK! WHAT'S SO INTERESTING IN THERE THAT STOPS YOU FROM APPLAUDING A WELL-PLACED COCONUT CREAM PIE WITH BRUSSELS SPROUTS, EH?!"

"Oh, shut up," Brookiera said smoothly.

"Let's go," sulked Masked, and the two slammed the door behind them.

I love, love, LOVE your writing! Can' wait to see more of it!