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Poems and Feedback
Poems and Feedback
Hey, everybody! I was on here a lot a few years ago. And then I got busy with highschool and stuff. So, hello again! Missed this site!
So, I recently acquired a love of poetry. So, this would obviously be a good place to post it. Let's all post some cool poems here. Postive feedback or helpful critique is always nice and good! I'd love to get some help on my poems, and I'd love to read all of your great ideas, and maybe give you some feedback! I'll post some of mine soon.
Spammy says yimx, which couls possibly mean why I'm ex. Did spammy get dumped?
submitted by Alex Infinity, age 15, Kansas, newly
(February 18, 2014 - 10:41 pm)
(February 18, 2014 - 10:41 pm)
First off, hi! I don't think we met before. I'm ~Blue Fairy~, although some people call me Blu since my sister Melody started calling me that. Nice to meet you!
There was a poetry club here before, but it seemed to die down. I love poetry too. I have some, and I'll post one of mine right now. Hold on....need to pull it up on a website I put it on...
Andddd here it is!
"Beach" by the amazing ~Blue Fairy~
The waves
Crashing on the shore
Smelling the salty air
Putting your feet in the sand
Feeling your feet sink
d
o
w
n
In the wet sand.
Hope you liked it, and I hope to see some of your poetry soon!
(February 18, 2014 - 11:10 pm)
I liked your poem! I love poems that are written with some extra depth in the writing, like your 'down'. That's cool, and gets the reading intrigued by your piece.
And nice to meet 'cha, Blu!
(February 18, 2014 - 11:35 pm)
Thanks! I wrote this last year in English class because we were working on something that I already finished thanks to a writing class I had for talented readers and writers. It just popped into my head. I'll post more poetry later too!
(February 18, 2014 - 11:45 pm)
Found some of my poetry. Not my best one, it's super cheesy. Any feedback, all?
Thesaurus
I have never so desperately wanted a thesaurus
(February 18, 2014 - 11:42 pm)
That was really cute! I had a huge smile on my face after I read that. I swear if any boy said that to me I would be crying. And it describes me perfectly. You just described me, except for the fangirling Broadway Nancy drew freak part. Lol.
I really liked it, I just think that the set up could be better. At the beginning, you put a space between every line, but then you stopped. If you added a space between every line, it would look neater.
Anyway, great job!
(February 18, 2014 - 11:54 pm)
Aggh! Coppying and pasting issues. I believe origanally, it did look much neater and cleaner formated. Thanks for the feeback, and cleaning it up is toatlly something I should do. Question- what did you mean by the set up could be better?
And thanks! If anyone else wants to submit something so you can get responces, or you just want people to gush over your lovely poem, please do so!
A∞
(February 19, 2014 - 7:39 am)
I meant that you should've spaced it like I said. Sorry it wasn't too understandable.
(February 19, 2014 - 11:07 am)
Hooray! This will be a lot of fun because I was too late to join the Poetry club, but I always have a bunch of poems swirling around my head at any given time! This is one of my poems that I call "sentence poems" 'cause I take a sentence from a story or something and change it a bit to make it a poem. This one is from a sentence that will probably end up in the novel I'm writing:
A Small Bird Flies
A small bird flies
twittering
through the sky
above
dark pines.
Above it,
a line of receding
dark
clouds gives way
to
blue sky.
(February 19, 2014 - 1:57 pm)
I love the poem, Captain! It's half light and pretty and beautiful, and half dark and somewhat creepy.
The only thing I would say that I don't love is how the formatting looks different between the two stanzas. I think you did it the same way, but it looks a bit different, since the secong stanza has lots of one word lines, while the other one doesn't.
But awesome poem overall, I liked it!
(February 19, 2014 - 8:03 pm)
I liked it! It was simple, like mine, but pretty. The transition from dark clouds to blue skies might be a metaphor or whatever it's called, hard times get better. Look at me, becoming all deep and stuff! Overall, I liked it.
(February 19, 2014 - 8:32 pm)
Another poem. Oh, geez, is it really painfully obvious I have one of those annoying things known as crushes? Silly lovesick teenager Alex.
I don't write poetry, till you made me want to
I don't ever want to help a person so bad it hurts, but you make me need to.
I don't think I've ever been so completely in love before you
(February 19, 2014 - 6:43 pm)
I liked it! I love how it always starts with "I don't", giving it a sort of theme. The only thing is you may want to separate the lines more, like in one part you say one line, space it, and then don't space it again until the very last line. It may be the copying and pasting like you said happened before.
And I also have a crush (well, more than one) too (my family and friends call me boy crazy) so don't worry about it! When you find someone who likes you back, show them your poems! They'll really like it!
(February 19, 2014 - 8:36 pm)
Silly crushes. Fun to have, yet infuriating to have at the same time!
Some of it was copying and pasting, but I do see what you mean. I shall fix that, and I do think it would better that way. Thanks, Blu!
Oh, and S.E., if you can find it, I'd love to re-read it. As at the moment, all my Cricket magazines are packed away in a box from moving.
(February 20, 2014 - 10:15 am)
Well, I was going to paste copy off the poem Anna's Story I wrote awile ago that got first place in a Cricket contest, but it was May 2012.
*sighs
(February 19, 2014 - 9:24 pm)
Hi. I've been new recently. Have you guys ever heard of Found Poetry, or Redacted Poetry? Well, I have homework but I may explain it later. Soooo, here's some found poetry for ya-- (Okay, fine. Found poetry is where you cut out words etc. from magazines and old books, and then glue them down on paper in a new way to create a poem. I have a whole box full of words!) P.S. This may be formatted weird when I copy and paste because the lines are long.
Sunday Afternoon
Late on Sunday Afternoon,
we must each of us search consciences
and our hearts
and determine what approach we wish—or
dare—to take.
It goes deeper than that, coming and
going from face to face.
Here, at least, the fate of the
increasingly relaxed world was taken seriously.
Once again they were all in place, once
again they faced one another around the fateful circle.
Here, at least, no one had relaxed, nor
had the issue dwindled or diminished.
For, expects to win indeed had met on
such and such a day, as did those with no other choice.
This had been
strictly a lucky shot. Once again tension rose in the room like a
palpable thing.
Much of the truth
of it had all quickly returned. Again there was silence and now the
entire room
concentrated on
just one face.
There was a silence, an uneasy shifting, a studying of papers, a turning of heads in thought and consultation.
Who is closest and who is farthest, these days? We are all close.
And they are close to us.
Found Poetry,
By
M
(February 21, 2014 - 6:03 pm)