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Chatterbox: Down to Earth
Care Packages
Care Packages
I've been a little worried about you all these days, and I wanted to remind you all how much I love you (/platonic) by doing my best to take care of you. I have been sort of tired, sad, and stressed lately, but I do think I'll still be able to do this, albeit perhaps a little slower than usual.
For those unfamiliar, here's a description of how this works (copied and pastied from the last time I did this):
Comment telling me a bit about yourself - maybe some problems you've been having you want advice for, your favorite books or music or something, or really anything, and I'll reply with a "care package" - it might have advice, a written picturing, compliments, music recommendations, whatever you need.
Sometimes you just need someone to talk to. Personally, I enjoy being with others and sharing things I like with them, especially when I am sad or stressed, but just in general. Here's a place where you can talk about yourself for a little while and have someone listen.
submitted by Periwinkle, age Pi, Somewhere in the stars
(October 30, 2023 - 4:52 pm)
(October 30, 2023 - 4:52 pm)
I really love this place but my mom doesn't want me to be on here because of what's going on in Israel. I still spend lots of time here tho;
Another thing that's weighing on me is that I fully support the LGBTQIA+ community, but my mom is kind of transphobic, especially after my cousin came out as bi last year (at least i think it's bi: she uses both pronouns for himself); my mom says it's just a trend but I don't want to explain to her that it is for real for fear of her yelling at me.
(November 6, 2023 - 12:22 pm)
I'm sorry Sinusoidal, that sounds difficult—sometimes it's really hard for parents to see our side of things which is very frustrating.
To my knowledge, bi is typically a shortened version of bisexual, which refers to who you are attracted to. Your description of your cousin and his different pronouns makes me think she came out as gender non-conforming, nonbinary or another identity on the gender spectrum (or unlabeled). He could still be bisexual, but that would be on the attraction spectrum rather than gender. I hope this makes sense!
(November 7, 2023 - 6:43 pm)
It's true bi is typically short for bisexual, but it can also stand for bigender, which is where someone identifies as both male and female. (Typically, though, or at least as far as I'm aware, bi isn't really used as the shortened form of bigender because it can be confused with bisexual, but that's just a technicality.) I hope this doesn't come off as rude or anything, I just wanted to clarify :)
I'm sorry that your mom isn't fully supportive of the LGBTQ+ community--that can be hard to deal with. I'm not sure how much advice I have for you, Sine. Maybe you can research and share with her some studies on why it's not just a trend?
(November 8, 2023 - 3:43 pm)
Oops. I think I meant, non-binary, but he chooses to use both pronouns instead of they/them for herself.
(November 8, 2023 - 5:55 pm)
Hey, Sine! I know what's going on in Israel must be very distressing to you and your family. I don't have much advice, but maybe talk to your mom how much you love it here and how it is comforting for you and a good place for you to make friends. I'm sure you can come up with a compromise.
Thank you so much for being supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community! I really appreciate people who have open minds and are kind, just like you. Bi is usually used as a shortened term of bisexual or biromantic, which is a sexuality rather than a gender identity. It sounds like your cousin is some category of genderqueer: I believe bi-gender is a label that some people use, and he could also have chosen a label such as genderfluid (which is usually used for people whose gender identity is fluid and ever-changing but I have heard it used for people who use she/her and he/him pronouns at the same time) or gender non-conforming, or nonbinary, or some other identity as the other person who replied to you mentioned. A lot of people say that being queer is a trend right now, but I personally believe the reason so many people are coming out as LGBTQIA+ is that we are living in a time when there's so much pride and it's safer to come out. It's definitely not perfect, but we are getting better.
You don't have to talk to your mom about it if you don't want to. If you feel like you would get in trouble with her and it makes you uncomfortable, I can understand why you don't want to talk to her about it. If you do want to try, talk to her about how you want to love your cousin unconditionally. Regardless of whether your cousin is "just going through a phase," you can support her and trust that he knows herself well enough to decide what would make him most comfortable. You and your mom can also research how to be better allies together; this might help you both better understand your cousin and what you can do to support them.
But again! Remember that it is risky to have this conversation with your mom, and that I am a thirteen year old girl from the website she already doesn't really want you on. You're a smart person, and I trust that you can make the best decision here. If you are able to talk to your mom, that's great, but even if you can't talk to your mom about it, you can still choose to use your cousin's preferred pronouns and support her yourself.
(November 8, 2023 - 3:19 pm)
I'll open the thread tomorrow! :)
(November 6, 2023 - 9:44 pm)
Ack girl you are amazing!!! Big sister to the chatterbox remember? Love you too <3 (/Platontic) :) I hope you feel more cheery soon
I just copyed and pasted from another thread so
So... I think I already mentioned my friends irl are pretty against gay and trans people. Which is annoying.
Lately, they've been bringing up gay people briefly, which could be as simple as "what, are you gay?" "I should hope not!" followed by laughter. I don't laugh. I don't like it. So I want to confront it.
But I don't really know HOW. All of my friends are Christians too. I'm non religious. I don't care who believes in what, but it's really discriminating the way they talk about gay people or whatnot. I could say, "doesn't the Bible say to be loving to everyone?" (which it does, right?) I could say something like that, or like, "You shouldn't judge! Isn't that God's job?"
I would say that. But I'm a one person kinda confrontation here. It's just me. I don't have anyone to back me up. So I've sort of stayed quiet, waiting for.... well, I don't know what. so maybe some advice on how to... Work this out? If you have any advice, please share. Or past experiances that were similar to this... Bye, and thanks.
And while I'm at it-! Any pop recemondations?
(November 7, 2023 - 3:58 pm)
Thank you, Hawkstar! I have been feeling better the past few days. You are very sweet.
I'm sorry to hear that your friends aren't as supportive of queer people as you. Thank you for wanting to confront your friends and step up to support the LGBTQIA+ community.
If it were me, I would try doing something along the lines of "I don't get the joke, guys! Can you explain?" or "Wait, but what's wrong with being gay?" Then, see what they have to say. You could say something like, "Shouldn't we love and support everyone? It seems pretty unfair to judge people based on something so trivial." Or you can simply state your beliefs. "Personally, I don't think it's very nice to discriminate against gay people and trans people. I want to be someone who can love and support everyone - isn't that what a true friend is?"
Let me know if anything happens with your friends! I'm always here to talk when you need it.
Some pop recs:
- You Need To Calm Down (Taylor Swift): not only is this song really great, but it's also feminist and extremely supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community. "Shade never made anybody less gay," to quote it. I thought it was on topic with your problems. You've probably heard it, because it's very famous, but I thought I'd mention it anyway. If you don't already listen to Taylor Swift, you should try her!
- Late Night Talking (Harry Styles)
- Olivia Rodrigo: pretty much all of her songs are really great. You might want to start with good 4 u, drivers license, All I Want, and vampire
- Diaster (Conan Gray)
- Cloud 9 (Beach Bunny): this band's more indie than my other recs but this is one of their hit songs. They're a really great band
- Are You Bored Yet (ft. Clairo) (Wallows): another slightly more indie band; this is their most popular song and it's really good. I love most of their music but this is a favorite
Enjoy! Good luck with your friends!
(November 8, 2023 - 3:46 pm)
i have problems with worrying about stuff; it's like sometimes i start worrying, and can't stop, like the worry just takes over my entire mind and i don't know what to do about it and no one ever listens and the worst thing is that there's nothing i even can do about it
i hope you don't mind that i'm posting this anonymously :')
A very wise person said to me once: "Most of the things we worry about don't happen." Maybe it will help you to keep that in mind.
Admin
(November 8, 2023 - 3:03 pm)
Of course I don't mind you going anonymous! I want you to be comfortable.
(November 9, 2023 - 5:53 pm)
thank you so much. this really helped me a lot and made me feel really comforted <3
(November 14, 2023 - 3:47 pm)
I've said it once and I will say it a million times more: Peri, you are one of the kindest, most unconditionally caring people that I've ever known. We're truly so lucky to have you here on teh CB <3333 I hope you're having a wonderful, wonderful day.
I guess I've been feeling kind of burnt out lately. I've touched on this briefly on random thoughts/things and other threads but this year I've just taken on so much and I'm worried that I won't be able to juggle it all. Junior year classes are hard enough, but I feel constantly swamped by work (and I'm only in 3 AP courses!) and when I finish something there's always something else to do. I barely have time to do homework on Tuesdays and Thursdays because I have work after school. I'm really not good at self-motivating and getting myself to stop procrastinating. I need to do work for my college counselor and edit all the works for our school's literary magazine (no one else is doing anything except for me!!) and get to club meetings, etc. School is just a lot.
On a more personal note, I have to balance stuff with my best friend who is effectively in college now even though she's only 16 and be 96% of her impulse control all the time, which is tiring. I feel like I've been drifting apart from my other best friend lately, which I feel horrible about. I'm in my first relationship ever and although I love talking to my girlfriend it can be kind of stressful, too. It's especially difficult because it's long distance, and I really want to see her all the time but the timing always never works out. Every weekend I go to a creative writing program with seven other writers my age and we have our work reviewed by three published authors who I really enjoy working with, but it can be a lot of pressure. Especially when everyone else in the course is so, so talented. I've just submitted a proposal for my Thesis Project, but I'm afraid that I won't be able to write it like I see it in my head. A very prominent writing awards deadline is in less than a month, and although I've gotten a regional award before from there I feel the need to be better than I was last year. Next to the dozens of awards my peers in the writing program have, mine feels insignificant. It's hard not to feel inferior and uninspired sometimes.
Anyway, I feel kind of bad dumping basically everything in my life on you, but thank you for giving my a place to just vent :)) Once again, you're such an amazing, giving person, Peri, thank you so much <3333
(November 8, 2023 - 10:58 pm)
Sorry it's taking so long Peri, I'm trying to fish out a paragraph I wrote about you a few weeks ago for school (prompt: write about a time when someone has been kind, whether that someone was yourself or another person), but it's been taking a while sorryyy
(November 9, 2023 - 12:37 am)
Thank you so much, Silver Crystal! You are so kind <3 Also I'm sorry this took me so long!
Wow. That sounds like a lot. I don't really know if you were simply venting or asking for advice. I'm sorry, but I don't really have as much advice as I wish I did. All I can say is, try to make sure you're taking care of yourself. Whenever you can, get some sleep, drink some water. Spend some time outside (the sun's outside and vitamin D is good for you). Try to have some "me time" when you can.
The writing thing does sound stressful. I know it must make you feel small sometimes when you see the others and their awards. But I think you are an amazing writer, and I think you will get more awards, too. Try not to let self-doubt hold you back.
I'm sorry. I don't really know what other advice to give you. Do you want some media recommendations or something, to make up for it?
(November 20, 2023 - 8:34 pm)
Hi Periiii! Honestly I was just kind of feeling really stressed that day and wanted to vent somewhere, so don't stress about giving me any sort of advice :) Your suggestions are wonderful, though! I really should go outside more.
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate, so don't worry about recommendations or anything like that. Do you want any media recommendations? Or want to vent/talk? If so, I'm always here for anything you might need that I can do :))) I hope your day has been and will continue to be amazing <3333
(November 20, 2023 - 10:31 pm)