Chatterbox: Down to Earth

Yo guys, it’s Claaws. This is my last check in. It’s been four years since I first posted as a crazy little 13 year old, thinking I was so cool with my gothic ‘sketchy’ name ‘Claaws’, which I am stuck with. 

I am now 17. I’ll be 18 in July, a legal adult if you'll believe it. I’ve had my driver's license since November and I have my own car (my moms old car). I graduated high school just a few weeks ago. We'll have our graduation ceremony in August. It has been hard being a senior in this pandemic, we did not get a prom, we did not get to say goodbye to everyone we grew up with and knew, and most of them we’ll never see again as we move on to the next aspect of our lives. We missed our senior sunrise, our senior prank, our senior bonfire, our last hurrah. None of us saw this coming, and we wasted our last moments together, taking time and school itself for granted. Fortunately we still get graduation, if not the same it’s still something. The thing that I will miss the most is my senior dance recital, though it will be held in September it won’t be the same experience. I’ll be the only senior performing my senior solo live, as the rest of our girls will be heading to college out of state. I’m unsure if it will even be held live, or at all. Though I am grateful that there is a chance of it still happening. If anyone’s interested, the song for my graduating senior solo is Little Girl by Faith Marie. It’s a very powerful song and I wish I could share my piece with everyone. 

It’s times like these that makes you grateful for every little thing you have, every memory, every tradition. Even if you won’t be able to honor them. I was also supposed to go out and visit family in Argentina, my cousin just had a baby and I was going to meet my great aunts and 39 cousins that I have not met yet, as well as connect with a part of myself and the culture of my people. I’m going to have a pretty big surgery soon, I will be getting four ribs removed (down from 6 thanks to my brace) because of a chest wall condition. But I think I’m going to get it in December so I can virtually compete (in dance) over the summer (I wouldn’t be able to if I got my surgery in June, when I was originally supposed to, as I will be on bed rest for 6 weeks). Fun fact the ribs grow back if you just remove the cartilage, which is the front half of your ribs down to your sides, the bones are in the back by your spine.

I am planning on going to college next fall, whether online or ~hopefully~ in person. I am attending CU Boulder and I am in the Leadership and Community department, part of their underrepresented students program. (I’m LGBTQ+ and latinx) I will be majoring in Political science, minoring in leadership and community. A lot has changed since I’ve last posted, I’ve come to terms with my sexuality and gender, I am non-binary, and I use they/them pronouns now. I am bipolar; it is a very serious illness. 

Quarantine has not been kind to me, but I bet it hasn’t been kind to most people. I’ve lost a lot of lives to this virus, indirectly or directly. A few weeks ago the quarantine order in Colorado was lifted, but my smart self decided to catch covid-19 two days before the ban was lifted, so I was stuck at home for a bit longer. I encourage everyone to not leave their houses even as the bans are being lifted, because if I am not living proof that the covid-19 threat is still very real, then the millions of others who are suffering and dying and the healthcare workers who are pleading to keep the ban orders up are. Please please encourage your friends and loved ones to stay at home except for going out for necessary items or working if they are essential and need to support their families, remind them to wear masks and gloves and wash their clothes as soon as they get home. Don’t even go out for church, it’s very very dangerous as it’s a large gathering of people and shared breath in the same closed roof building. There are online ceremonies, online workout routines, online mental wellness. I know it’s uncomfortable and not the way you would want to spend your summer, but a lot of us have suffered much more loss from this, and just by staying home you can save a life. 

Also, loves, I know mental health has been very hard to manage in these circumstances.Please, if you are not doing well, don’t hesitate to reach out. I am always here for you guys, no matter what you believe or who you are or what you stand for. You are all amazing children and I hope you grow up to be strong, beautiful individuals. Don’t hesitate to contact professionals, they are trained to talk to you and listen to you. Don’t be afraid of therapy, even if it’s online, or of mental hospitals if you feel you need it. People love you. People are here for you, and I am here for you. You are not alone. None of you are alone. We will get through this together. 

If anyone wants, I can post some coping methods I’ve been using during quarantine and just in general, as well as music or crafts or any other mental health stuff. It is mental health awareness month after all ;)

wow the capatchas five letters now? Noon says hzfcw (wow does that bring back memories)  

Claaws, it's so good to hear from you! Former CBers like you hold a special place in our hearts. We appreciate hearing from them every now and then to hear what they're up to. These are strange, historic times for all of us. Congratulations on your graduation and best wishes in college and for your recital and surgery. And remember the CB reunion date is February 14 each year, but especially next in 2023.

Admin