Places to Chat
A confession, of
Chatterbox: Down to Earth
A confession, of
A confession, of sorts.
l have no idea who you people are.
That is making a mountain out of a mole hill, but it is true. l barely really interact with many people on here, l've only really got to talk deeply with a small fraction of people offsite.
l've seen your name, l've probably read a few of your posts, too. l feel like l know who most of you are, "Oh look, that's so-and-so, l've seen them around for a long time, l know who you are."
In reality....l've maybe fleetingly interacted with most of you a few times. l don't really know why, actually, but l feel pretty distant as of recent. l have a hard time talking and opening up to people, even on the Internet and getting into things. l'm bad with people and groups of people, l'm a loner by heart.
Nothing is exactly....interesting, eye-catching to me on here anymore, mostly because of said distant feeling.
Now you could go about telling me your autobiography in hope that l would somehow make out your character from a pile of facts and personality traits and try to make me feel included......but that really isn't going to help in the silghtest.
Instead, hey, why don't we actually, honestly, talk? About anything under the sun and beyond, despite being a bit anti-social l like discussing things in depth with people. Don't tell me about yourself, l want to actually talk to you.
submitted by Shadow Dragon, age Infinity, Earth
(June 10, 2016 - 8:07 pm)
(June 10, 2016 - 8:07 pm)
Do you play any video games? I know of a good fantasy one, made by the same creators of Clash, called Heroes. The one I'm playing now is Heroes VI.
(June 13, 2016 - 7:16 pm)
l play Portal and The Cave, and really nothing else. Both games are brilliant, but l haven't played them in a really long time, 'cause l'm busy.
(June 15, 2016 - 3:26 pm)
I play the I Spy CD ROM series, or I used to. Now I play Lego HP Years 1-4.
(June 20, 2016 - 7:59 am)
Ah, Shadow, you wanna go everywhere? And you like all animals? I have a feeling we will be good friends in the future.
Not much is happening in my life, though I did take a short road trip to a neighboring city and went to their zoo and art musuem.
Nice color choice, too.
Other than that, CAPTCHA's getting vengence on me with h and n o-o
(June 14, 2016 - 10:21 am)
This is a bit of a personal post, so read at your own risk.
I feel that I have dried out.
I am a naturally kind and welcoming person; I feel that I know even new CBers like I know my friends. My heart was once a rainforest; warm and absorbent. When I read about a disaster, I really thought about it. I deeply thought about the implications it held, what it said about the state of humanity.
And then, like a sponge, I guess I got too full and wrung myself out with humor, watching funny videos and reading funny anecdotes the way one with an overactive imagination reads fairytales before they sleep so that they don't have nightmares. I find that any time I start really thinking about real events, I can't snap out. Occasionally my "thinking trances" will be so bad that I'll actually stop breathing for a little while.
And so, like a sponge unused, I dried out. My heart became thick and less porous, slowly hardening and thinning. I didn't read the news. I ignored new stories.
And I feel better! I just worry that I'm... cruel. Or cold. Heartless, even.
Thoughts?
(June 14, 2016 - 4:29 pm)
l....don't know.
l can't judge who you are, simply because l am a different person.
But hey.
It's okay.
You're not heartless.
And how would l know?
Because you realize the state that you are in, you realize what is happening to you.
l can only offer advice as far as my experiances go, which isn't much. But kindness and empathy isn't finite.
(June 15, 2016 - 3:40 pm)
Oh, gosh. I see what you mean, actually. My middle school- no one has innocence there whatsoever. They swear all the time, and what they talk about on a daily basis would make anyone with some sense blush. After too much time with them, I feel like I am them. Swearing, perverted, crazy and sick inside. I don't come on much when school is going on because I feel like I can't be myself, and I doubt you guys want to be around zombified Indigo. Air and I have a term for people like that- CPCs, which stands for Cussing Perverted Classmates or Cussing Perverted Crazies. Maybe this disease of sorts runs in the air I breathe, because when I come home I feel a bit less like me and more like a CPC.
I have to work really hard not to be desensitized. I haven't been hanging out with my friends from school much- they're nice, desceptively nice, but CPCs through and through. At the beginning of the year they were normal, now they're as bad as everybody else. It's like watching someone get zombified.
Trying to think on happy stuff is okay. I try to acknowledge the bad stuff in life but also the good- if I just acknowledge the good I'm just lying to myself, but if I just acknowledge the bad in life, I get really dark. My mind is twisted- my subconcocious is weird, and I have bad dreams most nights. In the daylight I'm cheerful and happy, when the light goes low I'm dead inside. Everybody these days has problems a bit like you mean, I think. It's a personal demon of sorts; I don't have much advice on it, because I'm having trouble with it too, but just know you're not alone. *hugs*
(June 15, 2016 - 3:45 pm)
Danke (hugs back). SD, Indigo, that made me feel better.
(June 15, 2016 - 10:24 pm)
How are you liking the ski lodge? I know I haven't been posting much on it recently. Do you have any suggestions for books you'd like to visit? I really need to post a new installment today.
(June 15, 2016 - 11:42 am)