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A confession, of
Chatterbox: Down to Earth
A confession, of
A confession, of sorts.
l have no idea who you people are.
That is making a mountain out of a mole hill, but it is true. l barely really interact with many people on here, l've only really got to talk deeply with a small fraction of people offsite.
l've seen your name, l've probably read a few of your posts, too. l feel like l know who most of you are, "Oh look, that's so-and-so, l've seen them around for a long time, l know who you are."
In reality....l've maybe fleetingly interacted with most of you a few times. l don't really know why, actually, but l feel pretty distant as of recent. l have a hard time talking and opening up to people, even on the Internet and getting into things. l'm bad with people and groups of people, l'm a loner by heart.
Nothing is exactly....interesting, eye-catching to me on here anymore, mostly because of said distant feeling.
Now you could go about telling me your autobiography in hope that l would somehow make out your character from a pile of facts and personality traits and try to make me feel included......but that really isn't going to help in the silghtest.
Instead, hey, why don't we actually, honestly, talk? About anything under the sun and beyond, despite being a bit anti-social l like discussing things in depth with people. Don't tell me about yourself, l want to actually talk to you.
submitted by Shadow Dragon, age Infinity, Earth
(June 10, 2016 - 8:07 pm)
(June 10, 2016 - 8:07 pm)
Hey! What do you want to talk about?
(June 11, 2016 - 6:12 am)
I'm probably never going to make life better for anyone anyway, because I've already wasted 12 years of my life sitting around playing video games and avoiding contact with other humans, and I still have no idea what I'm going to do with the next eight. I'll probably have to go to high school, and then college, and get a degree in something I don't really even like because everything I do like is too hard and I'm much too lazy moron to practice it and develop skills in that field.
Many young people feel like you do. 12 years is only a small portion of a long life. Good things are worth working hard for. Hopefully in high school you'll explore a lot of possibilites and be inspired to do your best toward a brighter future!
Admin
(June 11, 2016 - 6:16 am)
The original poster would like to point out that the above is an edited (with good reason) version of a post that may not make sense without the provided context from the other two paragraphs.
Ignore me, I'm "fine."
(June 11, 2016 - 3:02 pm)
Hi there, Shadow Dragon! :)
I can only be on for Saturdays, but I'd vastly enjoy talking to you. So--
What is your favorite season, and why? I like Autumn, because of the wind and the sky and the leaves and the grass and the weather. The world bursts into it's true glory, and I feel light and free.
I like to think of the seasons by Elvish standards-- meaning that there are really 6 seasons in all-- Spring, Summer, Autumn, Fading, Winter, and Stirring. Fading is that time after the true Autumn, when all the leaves have fallen and everything is grey and bare, and Stirring is the waking period between Winter and Spring, before everything finally blooms.
So-- what about you?
And I understand feeling dejected and helpless and useless about life-- it is, quite undeniably, unpleasant. But it's just another one of those walls you have to break through in life-- and with every conquered obstacle, you grow stronger. I know you can do it-- and like the Admin said, 12 years is only a crystal fragment of a lifetime. Everyone has a fledgling time, but, with a little effort, you'll be flying higher than you guess now. :)
(June 11, 2016 - 4:39 pm)
I feel exactly how you do. And I'm worried for my future, mainly because everything is getting harder and harder. But we're teens! I think most of us have a rather grim outlook on the future, and it's probably going to be much more easier then we think! And at least you are trying multiple things, so that you will have choices in the future ^^
(June 11, 2016 - 5:22 pm)
Everybody wants you to "do something" with your life. You gotta finish elementary school with good grades and don't get in trouble in middle school and take good classes in high school and go straight to college and then get a job and get a car and have kids raise them well have them get good grades send them to college make sure they get a job have grandkids leave them money arrange a good funeral... and then suddenly you're dead. Nothing left to do. Well, I'm not subscribing to that.
I've seen for myself you don't have to have ambitious dreams. A lot of people I know are in that stage after high school where they could go to college. One person flat up was like- College? Naaaah. People may judge her or think she just couldn't get into any colleges, but she made the decision that was right for her, and that's what matters.
Someone else went straight onto college. Middle college, a big fancy college, student exchange program, the whole deal. They're happy. They made the decision that's right for them.
Someone else decided half way through they wanted to start a company, and college could wait. Now? They're the co founder of a somewhat successful companies. (I don't know companies, so how successful it is I have no idea. But I get the impression it's doing pretty well.) They made the right call, because they're happy.
Someone else is doing college- but in their own roundabout way, working some days, taking classes others, just hanging out with friends some of the time. They're happy, so they got it right.
You shouldn't judge yourself based on others. I've been struggling a lot with trying to measure up to my genius friends standards, which are waaaay higher than I could ever reach, or even my own. The stress of trying to be perfect- getting that A, going to the party, seeming "fun" or "witty" or "intelligent" really wears on me. The stress of trying to remember to practice something I'm not interested in also wears on me. Here's my advice: if you have a field you want to work in, work in it. Don't judge how well you do in that field on how well everyone else thinks you're doing, but on how much progress and how much fun YOU have had.
Sorry for how long and complicated this post has been!
(June 13, 2016 - 8:51 am)
Yeah! I really enjoyed talking to you over NaNoMail!
(June 11, 2016 - 3:47 pm)
Hi Shadow Dragon. You probably haven't noticed me, but you are one of the many CBers I'd like to get to know better. I'm not great at striking up conversations, but I'll try. What do you like to fangirl over? I get super excited over what ever I'm watching at the moment, be it a Marvel movie, a Star Wars trailor, or a prediction about the upcoming Star Trek TV show. (It better be in the Prime Universe!)
(June 11, 2016 - 5:24 pm)
Hello! Bunnies are cute! I like pi! I like pie! Harry Potter rules! Slytherdors for life!
I love your name!
What's your HP hybrid House? What's your HP House? What's your HP…*Continues talking as everyone drags Mei away*
I'm just your average Chinese-American Potterhead who knows literally every HP song on YouTube, knows 161 digits of pi, and literally nothing else! (My life is a teeny bit centered.) Bye-bye!
(June 11, 2016 - 6:32 pm)
S.E.: Oh l don't know.....What are you currently writing/planning on writing? Are you doing Camp in July? l want to start up another project or pick up a dropped one, but there's just way, way too many ideas buzzing around my head and l can't catch all of them and put them into words. l also really don't have the time or attention span to start writing again. l'm not sure what to do with myself, but l do really want to start writing again.
Esthelle: For me it's winter or fall, my birthday is in the fall, so l have a bias :) Late summer to fall is a beautiful time, it isn't as hot as mid-summer nor as nearly vibrant, it's like a fully bloomed flower that is silghty wilting. l love winter because of the silence and the darkness, where you can simply stand and see nothing but the vast, whiteness and hear nothing other then the sound of your heart. It's beautiful because it is simple. l love winter sports, because as well as being nearly frozen to death, l have never felt so simply alive.
Cho: l, as well.
Danie: Hm...l wouldn't say that l see the world grimly, but l do try to see it how it truly is. l'm not really concerned about long run, l'll be at home for at least eight years, and ten years until l'm done with my education, at the least. l'll worry about everything else when the time comes. l dunno about the "it's going to be easier than we all think" part, life is hard and that's the truth, there will be those ups and downs and sharp corners. But we [humans] are generally pretty bad at forecasting our own futures, something that you always have to keep in mind. Face life with a devil-may-care grin and a tough as nails mentality, and l think you'll do fine.
Mirax: Hullo there :) l have in fact noticed you. l don't like the term "fangirl" for some reason, but l probably do plenty of it. Let's see...well there's Star Wars, Star Trek, Doctor Who, The Twilight Zone, LotR, Marvel and DC. l've started to watch a bit of anime, which l love. l read a lot of classical books and British crime fiction and some horror.
Mei: Welllll l really do not like Harry Potter but l'll answer your questions. l'd probably guess that l'm Slythrin, mostly because l'm an evil--ahem--dark person. Also, that's pretty impressive. Also pie is good and you're making me hungry and reminding that l haven't had pie in forever.....Also, BUNNIES!
(June 11, 2016 - 8:48 pm)
What kind of Star Trek do you like? I would have to say either TNG or DS9 TV shows, the first for having Data and Picard, and for managing to reintroduce Trek in a way, and the second for the complexity of the plots and characters. This kind of fun, just having a conversation with someone on CB.
(June 12, 2016 - 12:46 pm)
l've only watched the original series and TNG. l want to watch more, but l don't have acess to watch Star Trek anymore. *sigh*
l think l kinda like TNG more then the original series, it feels better thought out and the plots are smoother, and the characters feel more real. What do you think?
(June 13, 2016 - 10:25 am)
I agree. TOS is fun, but if you look at it critically it's pretty bad. TNG is really well done for a show from the 80s. This is totally off topic, but have you read any P.G. Woodhouse? He's this English author who wrote hilarious stories about the English upper class. Judging by your sense of humor, I thought you might enjoy his books.
(June 13, 2016 - 2:53 pm)
I kind of like TNG more, but TOS has a nostalgic place in my heart.
(June 14, 2016 - 12:13 pm)
l have not, l don't really read comedy. But l did look it up and found out that l can get an audiobook verison of some of his stories. l'l give them a listen when l have the time.
(June 14, 2016 - 2:24 pm)