oh, juni. *hugs and doesn't let go*

i'm... i'm so sorry. 

and this isn't going to help that much, but about your questions.

i am agnostic, personally, and i don't claim to be an expert or have any right to be saying this.

but, here's my take on things.

i don't think gods exist to shelter the human race from the bad things of the world. i think gods exist to guide us through them. 

humans are not permanent creatures. we come, we go. we're born, we die. it's sometimes hard to see any point of this, but i think it's for the small joys in life, like the color blue and that one shade of orange brandy roses possess and getting hugs from your best friend and the sound of cavetown's voice and the taste of apple pie and the smell of jasmine and green tea.

and it's for the people who've also been blessed (or cursed, or maybe both) with life who love you. you know firsthand what it's like to be losing a loved one. you know it hurts.

but if death is inevitable, why do we exist at all? for each other. for the world. for ourselves.

but more relevantly, why (if they do exist) would any humanity loving god let these things happen? world war ii. the holocaust, pearl harbor, kristallnacht. hiroshima, nagasaki. slavery. the civil war. racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, islamophobia, xenophobia, discrimination. violence, war, death, disease. the covid-19 pandemic. 

why? lives are lost, worlds burn, our sanity crumbles.

why. why would any god let these things happen?

i don't think it's a matter of let. i don't think gods have any control over our deaths and our actions. god is a force of good, right? all we can do is follow it. gods are lights in the dark, and all we can do is choose to follow them.

god is good and god is hope, in my eyes, as a nonreligious person. (which again. i'm nonreligious, so i have literally no knowledge or expertise or right to be telling you this right now, but i hope it helps anyways.) god is the idea that someday, somewhere, things will be okay. gods are reminders of all the beautiful things in the world. the gods have not forsaken us. 

to me, as a nonreligious agnostic, i like to believe there's a higher power. but i don't believe that every action, every word, is preordained.

all we are is human. imperfect, complicated, beautiful human beings. we're thrown into circumstances and we do our best to handle them. we all go through dark periods, and i think gods are the lights at the end of the tunnel. gods are there to guide you through. 

like will o' the wisps and princess merida. i don't believe that gods get to control who lives, who dies. the bad things that happen, the evils that exist.

your grandfather's alzheimer's isn't because god wishes ill on him and you and your family.

it's because we are only human. we are not permanent creatures. we are imperfect, and sometimes it's really not fair.

but all we can do is keep living. 

all we can do is react to the circumstances and follow the stars until morning comes.

like parents can't shelter their children forever, God can't make all the bad things go away.

but like parents, gods can guide you through. 

*hugs and doesn't let go*  

Thanks Lumi. He isn't dying yet but he is sick.

*hugs* I'm so sorry, Juni. <333 I'm wishing the best for your grandfather. I don't know much about Alzheimers, but I hope it gets better.

If it helps, when I am super upset about something I like to hide in my room and cry as I read a good book. Do you have a comfort book? <3 

Hey, I usually don't say this, but since you said you were a Jew who beleived in God, I can pray for you and your Grandpa during T'fillah. 

Hi PJ. I'm sorry, I don't have any advice for you. I tried already, and the truth is, it would probably not help. I'm sorry about what's happening to your grandpa, and how it's affecting your family. 

Oh Juni. I am so, so, so, sorry that you are going through this. No one deserves this. I am not religous, and I love what Lumi said. I want you to know that you are not alone, we are here for you, through whatever happens with your family. When I was in fifth grade, my Grandma who I loved so, so so, much had a stroke while driving my sister and me home. It had such a huge impact in my life, many weeks I spent just crying in my room. She's still with us, she's just so different, and I hate it. Why can't the doctors fix her brain? Why did this happen to me? I'm still not completely used to it. Princess Juniper, you are not alone. *hugs*

I'm so sorry Princess Juniper. I'll be praying for your family.

Oh no!! :(((((( I hope he gets better!! Hugs coming your way. (Sorry if you don't know me well, I just wanted to say that I hope he'll be ok) 

I'm really sorry. I know that must be hard. My neighbor has alzheimers, and she constantly forgets that she knows us. It's very hard, but they don't mean it at all and they still love you.

Feli this is late but thank you. Thank you to everyone else. Wolfy you're right. There are no magic words to make this better. But knowing that all of you have my back makes it easier.

ohh, Juni I'm really sorry to hear this *hugs* I hope it gets better for you and your family. I'll be praying <3<3<3

I am so sorry Juni.  I think the most important thing to remember is that he still loves you and always will.  It's okay to cry, okay to be sad.  Even if he doesn't remember you talk to him, read him your favorite book or a book you read with him once, tell him memories.  Maybe even play music he likes or from a concert he went to.  Music has actually been known to bring back memories.  Stick close to your family and let them know you are there for each other.  You and your family are in my thoughts, Juni.

I'm really sorry, Juni. I'll be praying for you <3

I'm so sorry, Juni. <3 I can't imagine how hard that must be. I'll be praying for you <3333