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The CB
I wrote this in reponse to thread in BaB about whether or not the CB was dead, but I kinda wanted to make it a post so that more people can see it. I think that the CB is a wonderful place, full of wonderful people and I want to make sure that it is the best place that it can be.
The CB is definitely not dead. I know it may not be as active as it once was but that doesn't mean that it's dead. A lot of older CBers have left but there are so many wonderful new CBers too.
I joined the CB on December 31, 2018 which was over 2 years ago. However, I was not active much over that time and there are a multitude of reasons why.
First of all, I feel like a lot of people sort of worship older CBers. Their posts and threads tend to get more interactions and people look up to them a lot. Many of the older CBers are close with each other and none of this is neccessarily a problem. But it makes a lot of the younger CBers feel really left out. During my first few months of the CBer, I didn't feel very welcome and I ended up leaving for a couple months. I tried to come back several times but I never felt welcome and always left. I felt like I wasn't good enough to interact with older CBers, I couldn't really form any friendships and I was very anxious about posting. I know that a lot of other younger CBers have talked about this before and I think it's a big problem.
Older CBers are wonderful and it's always sad when they leave or when anyone leaves and it's awesome when they come back. However, threads or posts that talk about how much they miss older CBers and how much they miss the good old days on the CB can be really hurtful to younger CBers who weren't there at the time and like they don't matter as much, like their posts and their input and their personalities are as good. It causes a lot of people to leave and the CB to become less active.
Other thing that caused me to leave the CB for a while was anti-LGBTQ+ posts and CBers. I'm a LGBTQ+ and I saw a few CBers who made anti-LGBTQ+ on threads that were celebrating LGBTQ+ people and rights, like the Pride Month thread. They said things like LGBTQ+ wasn't normal, that LGBTQ+ people shouldn't act on their feelings. It was really hurtful and I felt extremely unsafe so I left and wasn't able to come back for a very long time. I think things have gotten a little better and I'm very grateful for that. However, if you don't support LGBTQ+, don't talk about it or bring that hatred to threads that are celebrating that diversity. There are LGBTQ+ CBers on here and your words hurt and that hatred causes people to feel unsafe and drives them away. Do some research and have an open mind because hatred against someone for the way that they were born is never okay.
Okay, some ways to try and make to CB more active. Actively interact with and welcome newer CBers, make posts on their threads, reply to their comments a little more. Make them feel a little more welcome. It's ok to miss older CBers but make sure that you're still being respectful to newer CBers. There are so many wonderful new CBers but you have to actively engage with them. If you have friends who you think might enjoy it here, invite them on. Also, look through older threads to get ideas and remember that this is a very loving community and we're not going judge or bully you for making posts.
If we all work together to interact with each other more and make sure that the CB is a very welcoming and accepting place to everyone, then the CB can flourish and be an even better place.
Also, thank you Admins for everything you do, and sorry that this is a very long post.
submitted by Leo, she/they
(February 16, 2021 - 11:41 am)
(February 16, 2021 - 11:41 am)
I completely agree: I haven't been active at all recently, but with all the wonderful new CBers that have recently joined, I guess I appear older than I actually am? I don't know, but I also love when there is any addition to the CB. The feeling that there is a hierarchy of CBers is totally normal and widespread (I feel like), but really, the CB is just a bunch of equally amazing nerds. And the progression in acceptance of LGBTQ+ people is *chefs kiss* great! Love everyone!
(February 17, 2021 - 7:27 pm)
I don't think I'm exactly a new cber, but I'm definetly not one of the more well-known cbers. But I don't really care, as I think that I can still have fun here without being well-known. When I first joined the CB, I was kind of afraid that there might be a lot of disagreements and arguing, but since I've joined, the CB has been a pretty cool and chill place. That's all I wanted to say.
(February 17, 2021 - 11:21 am)
I do feel as I am ignored more then the older CBers. Many of my posts get maybe zero to one comment and that hurts especially when people copy my ideas and the same thing gets tons of posts. (Ok that only happened once but it did hurt)
(February 17, 2021 - 11:33 am)
And so Leo revived the soapbox and redeemed it.
(February 17, 2021 - 11:49 am)
Thanks for being the one who finally had the guts to make this.
I know there's a lot of people (mostly non-LGBT) on the CB who think it's super accepting, and while it's definitely better than it was, there's still a LOT of anti-LGBTQ stuff on the CB. It's important that, when someone says something homophobic/transphobic, you need to let the oppressed speak.
(February 17, 2021 - 4:07 pm)
This is very well-worded and very true! The CB is not dead, just moving a little slower. I know I'll always love this place, and I think most CBers feel the same way.
As an older CBer, I've probably been guilty of reminiscing a little too much, and I know I need to work harder to be welcoming and interact with newer people. The CB has changed a lot in my time, but it hasn't lost anything! It's different, but a wonderful different. The old days were good, and so is now. I hope I never make anyone feel bad about that!
I very much agree with you about LGBTQ+ topics. I've seen hatred here, but I've also seen love and kindness and forgiveness. Like some other people have said, the CB taught me a lot about the LGBTQ+ community, and it helped me be more confident and secure in my own identity. The CB has come a long way in that respect, which is really cool to see.
To all the younger CBers, I hope you all know that you're loved and valued! I know it's upsetting when your posts or threads are ignored, and that's something we need to work on as a community. I'm going to give some advice here that no one asked for, and that is don't worry about what other CBers think of you. It's easy to get stressed out about posting things and hoping everyone will like you (I know that's how I always felt), but I promise no one will judge you. If and when you make a mistake, people will forgive you. Also, talk to people! Make friends! When I was a new CBer I pretty much didn't interact with anyone because I was scared they'd hate me or look down on me. Once I started to open up and actually reach out, I made some amazing friendships that mean the world to me. If anyone ever wants to talk, please let me know! I love making new friends and getting to know people better.
I see you, and I really, truly love each and every one of you, whether you've been here four weeks or four years. <3
(February 17, 2021 - 5:34 pm)
I agree with all of this! The CB is a wonderful, changing place. I'm really sorry if I made anyone feel left out. I don't remember ever feeling that like that myself, but I know some people do have that experience and that's a problem for sure.
Also, while I can't say that the CB was a big part of my discovery of LGBTQ+ people, while I've been here it's been a very accepting place, which I'm very grateful for <3
Yeah I don't think I have anything else to say, but thanks for bringing this up. :)
(February 17, 2021 - 7:00 pm)
@Aza- oh, yay! Yeah, Viola? was especially helpful. It's a little crazy to think how much knowledge I've gained.
@Leo- I want to say "yeah" to pretty much everything you said. Everyone has different ideas of what it means to belong, to be left out, to be rude, to grow apart from something, ect. This thread is pretty awesome for talking about it, because you're definitely right in saying that CBers rarely, if ever have the intention of hurting others. The bottom line is to welcome everyone, which I'm confident that we can do.
@Joan- I still remember you for your kindness and respect to everyone during arguments, especially to the people who you didn't even agree with. I truly admire you for your pateince, respect, and desire to learn more. You're doing a great job. <3
(February 17, 2021 - 9:11 pm)
I wholeheartedly agree with, like . . . EVERYTHING that has been said here.
I am a CBer who, like you, felt left out for the first few months. My threads got very few posts and things like that. It also kind of confuses me how when an old CBer post they get a bunch of comments talking about how admired they are. This is NOT a problem, and I think old CBers are cool too, it's just that it sometimes feel like poeple care about the older CBers a lot more. Then again, I have thought about being an old CBer as something cool and honor-y (that is defiitely not a word) so . . .
I have noticed the antir-LGBTQ+ things here too, which is just . . . not okay. I didn't actually see the pride month posts but I hope whatever happebed wn't happen again. I think it is getting a bit more welcoming, though, I agree with that.
I also really like your ideas for making the CB more actve! It is definitely not dead.
(February 18, 2021 - 7:44 am)