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The CB
I wrote this in reponse to thread in BaB about whether or not the CB was dead, but I kinda wanted to make it a post so that more people can see it. I think that the CB is a wonderful place, full of wonderful people and I want to make sure that it is the best place that it can be.
The CB is definitely not dead. I know it may not be as active as it once was but that doesn't mean that it's dead. A lot of older CBers have left but there are so many wonderful new CBers too.
I joined the CB on December 31, 2018 which was over 2 years ago. However, I was not active much over that time and there are a multitude of reasons why.
First of all, I feel like a lot of people sort of worship older CBers. Their posts and threads tend to get more interactions and people look up to them a lot. Many of the older CBers are close with each other and none of this is neccessarily a problem. But it makes a lot of the younger CBers feel really left out. During my first few months of the CBer, I didn't feel very welcome and I ended up leaving for a couple months. I tried to come back several times but I never felt welcome and always left. I felt like I wasn't good enough to interact with older CBers, I couldn't really form any friendships and I was very anxious about posting. I know that a lot of other younger CBers have talked about this before and I think it's a big problem.
Older CBers are wonderful and it's always sad when they leave or when anyone leaves and it's awesome when they come back. However, threads or posts that talk about how much they miss older CBers and how much they miss the good old days on the CB can be really hurtful to younger CBers who weren't there at the time and like they don't matter as much, like their posts and their input and their personalities are as good. It causes a lot of people to leave and the CB to become less active.
Other thing that caused me to leave the CB for a while was anti-LGBTQ+ posts and CBers. I'm a LGBTQ+ and I saw a few CBers who made anti-LGBTQ+ on threads that were celebrating LGBTQ+ people and rights, like the Pride Month thread. They said things like LGBTQ+ wasn't normal, that LGBTQ+ people shouldn't act on their feelings. It was really hurtful and I felt extremely unsafe so I left and wasn't able to come back for a very long time. I think things have gotten a little better and I'm very grateful for that. However, if you don't support LGBTQ+, don't talk about it or bring that hatred to threads that are celebrating that diversity. There are LGBTQ+ CBers on here and your words hurt and that hatred causes people to feel unsafe and drives them away. Do some research and have an open mind because hatred against someone for the way that they were born is never okay.
Okay, some ways to try and make to CB more active. Actively interact with and welcome newer CBers, make posts on their threads, reply to their comments a little more. Make them feel a little more welcome. It's ok to miss older CBers but make sure that you're still being respectful to newer CBers. There are so many wonderful new CBers but you have to actively engage with them. If you have friends who you think might enjoy it here, invite them on. Also, look through older threads to get ideas and remember that this is a very loving community and we're not going judge or bully you for making posts.
If we all work together to interact with each other more and make sure that the CB is a very welcoming and accepting place to everyone, then the CB can flourish and be an even better place.
Also, thank you Admins for everything you do, and sorry that this is a very long post.
submitted by Leo, she/they
(February 16, 2021 - 11:41 am)
(February 16, 2021 - 11:41 am)
I think this is all true! I personally haven't noticed ignoring new CBers as a big problem, but that's probably because I'm not one, so if I ever did something to make you feel bad, I'm sorry. I do feel like the CB has become less active recently, but that also might be because I didn't notice while we still had NaNo? And I've noticed CBers have become much more accepting of LGBTQ+, which is great. I hope you'll stay, Leo! <3
(February 16, 2021 - 2:49 pm)
I'm definitely going to try to stay around! And don't worry, you didn't do anything to make me feel bad. Thank you for reading this very long post! <3
(February 16, 2021 - 10:22 pm)
I agree, Leo. The whole new Cber thing didn't really bother me when I was a new CBer, because I personally don't even like attention and just didn't really care, but I definitely get how it could be hurtful. I am working on trying to be more welcoming myself.
I also agree about everything you said about hateful comments. It's not okay. It never was okay and it never will be okay. So don't do it.
I also agree that it's hurtful when people reminisce about good old days and talk about how the CB used to be "more creative" and "less random" and things like that. Don't get me wrong, you're perfectly welcome to reminisce fondly about experiences. But try not to word it so new CBers feel bad about themselves. When I was new, some people were saying that the CB has gotten less creative and/or more random chatting and that kinda made me feel bad. Also that AEs aren't as original as they used to be. Please don't say things like that. I get that you miss older CBers and that's fine. I would miss all of the CBers here so much if they left, especially if they were part of my "CB generation" (which everyone here kinda is, but it kind of blurs). But try not to make it seem like they were better than we are. That hurts.
I ALSO AGREE THAT THE CB IS NOT DEAD. NOT DEAD. I REPEAT, THE CHATTERBOX IS NOT DEAD.
Anyways, thank you, Leo, for making this post. I think it called attention to some really important issues that we need to work to fix. <3
(February 16, 2021 - 4:31 pm)
Aw, you're very welcome! Yes, I definitely think that while people don't mean to exclude newer CBers, it still happens sometimes. I know that I still need to try to be more welcoming too. And yes, THE CB IS NOT DEAD!!
(February 16, 2021 - 10:25 pm)
I just wanted to clarify something in this post:
I love hearing about older CBers I've never met. I love hearing about fun things that happened in the past. People shouldn't stop talking about fun memories. You don't have to stop saying "Oh, I miss so-and-so so much." That's fine. But just, don't criticize how the CB is now or make comparisons between then and now that imply it was better then. Like any community, the CB is an ever-changing thing.
(February 17, 2021 - 12:15 pm)
Hey Leo!
I think I addressed this last time, (or maybe it was just last year) in the Pride Month thread, but I just wasnted to formally apologize again for if I made anyone who is a part of LGBTQ+ community feel bullied, or unaccepted here on the CB.
I do think that the CB is more accepting now, even if it is kind of slow to accept.
And I also wanted to apologize for if I made the younger CBers feel like they're not important. They most certainly are! Everyone here is.
Anyways so yeah, I just wanted to say that. Hope you have a great day! :)
(February 16, 2021 - 8:02 pm)
@Admins
Part of my comment was cut off.... may I inquire as to why?
If I remember right, I thought it was bringing up something from the past that might make some others feel bad. I think the main point of your comment was contained in the words that I did post.
Admin
(February 16, 2021 - 9:10 pm)
Huh. I see. I didn't think it brought up anything that might make others feel bad, more just expressing that because I have my beliefs I might not understand everything yet, but I'm trying to.
But ok.
(February 17, 2021 - 7:22 pm)
Hey Joan, it's great to see you again!
I think I did see your post on the Pride Month thread, but thank you for saying that again. I'm very proud of you for saying this, so thank you again! *hugs* I definitely know how hard it can be to apologize and this means a lot.
Hope you have a wonderful day too! <3
(February 16, 2021 - 10:31 pm)
You're welcome. I don't understand everything about the LGBTQ+ community, but I am really really trying to, and truly it has NEVER been my intention to hurt or bully or belittle.
So I apologize if I made anyone feel belittled or bullied by what I have said, because truly that has never been my intention.
(February 17, 2021 - 7:23 pm)
First, Leo, I want to say hi and compliment you on this wonderfully worded thread. :)
I should apologize. I'm very guilty of talking about what the CB was like before, criticizing how it's different, and ignoring newer CBers. I'm a nostalgiac person, but that doesn't justify how insensitive I've gotten at times. There are things that I miss and things that have changed, but the CB and its people are not at all wrong or bad. I'm sorry for the times that I made it sound that way.
I don't mean to leave newer CBers out. The thing is that I don't really feel like I belong myself. Which is probably my own fault as well. I've alienated myself from the CB as it is now, so it's on me for feeling a bit out of place. Everyone has something to offer. The CB is still a creative place, and it's constantly changing, which is honestly kind of cool. To all the newer CBers- I'm not trying to be rude! I think all of you are awesome.
As for diversity, I'm going to give the speech that I already have a million times, so I'm sorry to everyone who's already heard this story.
I was clueless about the LGBTQ+ community when I first came to the CB. Absolutely clueless. A huge part of why I am no longer clueless is the CB. Through the CB, I learned about what it meant to be queer, enby, pansexual, etc, and I've interacted with so many LGBTQ+ CBers. And I think that's pretty awesome. I want others to have that some opportunity.
In conclusion, the CB is awesome. I'm sorry for the things I've said that make it sound like anything else. It's going to change with new generations and it always has. You are all creative people- stay that way. <3
(February 16, 2021 - 11:12 pm)
Oh yes ty for saying this, Luna. I wanted to say that I also have the CB to thank for introducing me to a lot of LGBTQ+ identities and generally getting me comfortable with them. An especially big thank-you to Viola? for introducing me to nonbinary people and singular pronouns other than he and she, with her AEs. That's it :)
(February 17, 2021 - 8:43 am)
It's great to see you again, Luna-Starr!
Thank you for apologizing and just reflecting on your past actions. I think that's always an essiental skill to have in every aspect of life. Know that we forgive you. I've haven't been as welcoming as I wish I was and I know that I've made the same mistakes that I pointed out in this thread. And based on a lot of the (very sweet) comments on this thread, I think a lot of other people also regretted things from the past. I don't believe that anyone ever meant to make anyone else feel out. I just really hope that people can think a little more about their actions and how they might make other people feel. It seems like you're already that, so thank you much!
I also get what you mean about feeling alienated. I did feel left out because of the things I mentioned in this thread, but some of it was also me. I didn't try hard enough to be an active part of the CB and I definitely regret that. I hope you know that the CB will welcome you again with open arms.
The CB also taught me about the LGBTQ+ community too. I'm extremely grateful for that. I am also very happy about the growing acceptance of the community on the CB.
Ok, that was pretty long and not fully directed at you. Thank you to everything to replied to this post. <3
(February 17, 2021 - 4:24 pm)
^^^^ THIS, THIS is what I was trying to say.
I don't understand everything about the LGBTQ+ community, but I am really really trying to.
And, when I post my beliefs or anything, I NEVER mean to hurt anyone. That is NEVER my intention. EVER.
So I apologize if I made anyone feel belittled or bullied.
(February 17, 2021 - 7:21 pm)
I know I haven't been that active recently, but I will always love the CB. I've met so many awesome friends and unique individuals who share the same interests as me. As an "older CBer" I just want to say that I always love talking to new CBers! I hope no one feels intimidated by me or anything because I genuinely love meeting new people in this community. It may seem like there's this heirachy of CBers (I totally felt this way when I joined) but at the end of the day, the CB is a place to celebrate writing, art, and nerd culture, not compare people.
I'm actually really happy about the progress about LGBTQ+ acceptance. When I first joined, I remember people dropped out of my RP because I shipped my charrie with another girl. Now, I'm so happy to see multiple ships and so many awesome genderqueer AEs (including my dear Mav). I'm also really happy that CBers have change their viewpoints on the LGBTQ+ community and become allies.
<3 Fidelity
(February 17, 2021 - 1:08 am)