It's frustrating that people are like "tHeRe's OnLy mALe aNd FeMaLe."
Like, have you heard of intersex people? There are people who are biologically neither male nor female, so it's frustrating when you refuse to use people's proper pronouns.
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submitted by Gallium, age untold, she/her (June 16, 2022 - 11:54 am)
I know right?? The science is right there, but people hate the idea of using proper pronouns so much that they make stuff up to avoid it! There's also scientific evidence that gender is not the same as biological factors, but they still don't want to understand. *sighs*
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submitted by Silver Crystal, age Infinity, Milky Way (June 17, 2022 - 6:31 am)
I totally agree, but I'm just popping into say that being intersex does not mean that you're inherently nonbinary. I'm not going to say that being intersex never affects gender - I know there are certain genders that are intersex-specific and influenced by being intersex - but obviously intersex people can use any pronouns and be any gender. To be clear, I'm not mad, just pointing this out :D
Also, @any intersex people on the CB: You guys are awesome! Keep being the amazing people you are :DDD And @anyone if I got anything wrong please tell me, I don't want to spread false information.
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submitted by Blackfooted Bobcat, age Violincats, What is genderrrrrr??? (June 20, 2022 - 7:17 pm)
Oh, what I meant is that if there are people who are biologically neither, it's frustrating that people don't respect people who identify as neither (regardless of AGAB).
I don't think I explained myself well in the other posts. oops XD
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submitted by Gallium, age untold, she/her (June 30, 2022 - 11:26 am)
yeeeees pride month :DDD i'm bi and i think demiromantic? i'm also genderqueer- there's not a specific label i use for my gender bc i don't think any of them really fit me so i just use genderqueer and i like it. anyways, happy pride month! you are more valid than the most valid of validness (ok that sounds weird but you know what i mean) <333
my CAPTCHA says eatcd. no, please don't eat the CD, that's not edible-
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submitted by fallen leaf (June 19, 2022 - 8:24 pm)
Happy Pride!! I'm a little late but I had to come back for my favorite thread! The CB has always meant so much to me and was a big part of my journey in figuring out and accepting my identity. I'm actually planning on coming out to my parents at some point in the next week--I've always planned to come out June of my junior year, and that's finally here! I'm nervous, but it's time. I know I've been gone a while so hello to any new people, and to my old friends I've missed you dearly! Love you all! *rainbow confetti*
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submitted by Quill, all bi myself (June 26, 2022 - 10:30 am)
I wish there was more aromantic rep out there. I mean, I new from fairly early on that I could be gay or bi, but not aromantic -- it's like, there is this expectation that everyone is alloromantic, so I just kept "waiting." And the fact I only recently learned about the aro-spectrum was not helpful either.
Also, I just found some things about non-SAM identities, so that has been really interesting. (SAM stands for Split Model Attraction.) It's basically when you identify with one kind of orientation but not the other.
This has been a wonderful pride month! Stay proud
-Feli
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submitted by Feline Fantasy, age She/her (June 28, 2022 - 7:59 am)
I know, right??? I often recognize a fellow aro in the characters (or at least I think I do), only for them to fall into a romantic relationship and I lose all ability to relate to them. But on the other hand, there's this one character in a series that I love, and we're three books into the series and she hasn't shown capacity for romantic love. In fact, she just generally gives me aro vibes. But the fandom keeps shipping her with another character, with whom she had an enemies-to-friends arc. I think the fandom wants it to become an enemies-to-lovers arc. But their friendship dynamic is more brother and sister than anything else, plus the author is really inclusive, so I'm firmly holding out hope that she won't ship them, and might even make that character canonically aro. I might write the author a fan letter or something, just in case that'll do anything.
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submitted by Snazzycakes, swift as an aro (June 28, 2022 - 7:25 pm)
Ikr??? It's so frustrating! My sister loves to ship people in shows and/or books who've hardly ever talked, and it annoys me that we're conditioned from such a young age to not see the option of being aro/ace. I honestly don't know if I myself am somewhere on that spectrum, but I never considered it until very recently, due to a lack of information. I had to do my own research on the topic as no one told me it was a possibility. I always love headcannoning characters as aro and I hope that good representation becomes more prevalent in the media as time goes on.
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submitted by Silver Crystal, age Infinity, Milky Way (June 30, 2022 - 6:08 pm)
Snazzy and Silver both make good points, and we should accept people for who they are, regardless of orientation or what they identify as. Remember, not feeling attraction towards others is not a defect, simply a trait that one can possess. It doesn't mean that those people are increasingly or something's wrong with them, it doesn't mean they're weird or hard to get along with. Just look at Snazzy and me here on the CB! There are plenty of lovely people out there not too unsimilar to us! :) You deserve to be heard, and being aro, ace or both is perfectly acceptable and valid. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise!
And if you, dear reader, are on the aro/ace spectrum(s) that's okay -- great, in fact! You are strong and beautiful and are allowed to be yourself and proud of it. Never forget you are special, but not wrong -- you're just you, and that's alright, no matter what. <3
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submitted by Jaybells, Lost on the Spectrum (June 30, 2022 - 8:47 pm)
If it helps I'm writing a novel series where one of the main characters is AroAce openly and two other MCs are on the Ace spectrum (there are 4 MCs in total)
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submitted by Writing_in_the_dark, age 12, Valhalla (June 30, 2022 - 9:13 pm)
Thank you all of you for your supportiveness/ ranting with me. Most of my friends don't get why I don't like ships, but the truth is, I just can't relate. I can't relate to the half-million love songs on the radio either.
Realizing that I am aromantic has been a wonderful process, and I hope to discover more about myself in the future. If you think you might be aro, or somerhwere on the spectrum, that's awesome!
0
submitted by Feline Fantasy, age She/her (July 4, 2022 - 8:52 pm)
It's frustrating that people are like "tHeRe's OnLy mALe aNd FeMaLe."
Like, have you heard of intersex people? There are people who are biologically neither male nor female, so it's frustrating when you refuse to use people's proper pronouns.
(June 16, 2022 - 11:54 am)
Oh, and just to clarify, I meant you as in generic someone.
And biological gender is more than male and female, so it's ridiculous that's people won't respect preferred pronouns.
(June 16, 2022 - 9:44 pm)
I know right?? The science is right there, but people hate the idea of using proper pronouns so much that they make stuff up to avoid it! There's also scientific evidence that gender is not the same as biological factors, but they still don't want to understand. *sighs*
(June 17, 2022 - 6:31 am)
I totally agree, but I'm just popping into say that being intersex does not mean that you're inherently nonbinary. I'm not going to say that being intersex never affects gender - I know there are certain genders that are intersex-specific and influenced by being intersex - but obviously intersex people can use any pronouns and be any gender. To be clear, I'm not mad, just pointing this out :D
Also, @any intersex people on the CB: You guys are awesome! Keep being the amazing people you are :DDD And @anyone if I got anything wrong please tell me, I don't want to spread false information.
(June 20, 2022 - 7:17 pm)
Oh, what I meant is that if there are people who are biologically neither, it's frustrating that people don't respect people who identify as neither (regardless of AGAB).
I don't think I explained myself well in the other posts. oops XD
(June 30, 2022 - 11:26 am)
yeeeees pride month :DDD i'm bi and i think demiromantic? i'm also genderqueer- there's not a specific label i use for my gender bc i don't think any of them really fit me so i just use genderqueer and i like it. anyways, happy pride month! you are more valid than the most valid of validness (ok that sounds weird but you know what i mean) <333
my CAPTCHA says eatcd. no, please don't eat the CD, that's not edible-
(June 19, 2022 - 8:24 pm)
Happy Pride!! I'm a little late but I had to come back for my favorite thread! The CB has always meant so much to me and was a big part of my journey in figuring out and accepting my identity. I'm actually planning on coming out to my parents at some point in the next week--I've always planned to come out June of my junior year, and that's finally here! I'm nervous, but it's time. I know I've been gone a while so hello to any new people, and to my old friends I've missed you dearly! Love you all! *rainbow confetti*
(June 26, 2022 - 10:30 am)
Mini aro rant for any aros here:
I wish there was more aromantic rep out there. I mean, I new from fairly early on that I could be gay or bi, but not aromantic -- it's like, there is this expectation that everyone is alloromantic, so I just kept "waiting." And the fact I only recently learned about the aro-spectrum was not helpful either.
Also, I just found some things about non-SAM identities, so that has been really interesting. (SAM stands for Split Model Attraction.) It's basically when you identify with one kind of orientation but not the other.
This has been a wonderful pride month! Stay proud
-Feli
(June 28, 2022 - 7:59 am)
I know, right??? I often recognize a fellow aro in the characters (or at least I think I do), only for them to fall into a romantic relationship and I lose all ability to relate to them. But on the other hand, there's this one character in a series that I love, and we're three books into the series and she hasn't shown capacity for romantic love. In fact, she just generally gives me aro vibes. But the fandom keeps shipping her with another character, with whom she had an enemies-to-friends arc. I think the fandom wants it to become an enemies-to-lovers arc. But their friendship dynamic is more brother and sister than anything else, plus the author is really inclusive, so I'm firmly holding out hope that she won't ship them, and might even make that character canonically aro. I might write the author a fan letter or something, just in case that'll do anything.
(June 28, 2022 - 7:25 pm)
Ikr??? It's so frustrating! My sister loves to ship people in shows and/or books who've hardly ever talked, and it annoys me that we're conditioned from such a young age to not see the option of being aro/ace. I honestly don't know if I myself am somewhere on that spectrum, but I never considered it until very recently, due to a lack of information. I had to do my own research on the topic as no one told me it was a possibility. I always love headcannoning characters as aro and I hope that good representation becomes more prevalent in the media as time goes on.
(June 30, 2022 - 6:08 pm)
Exactly! *sigh*
Snazzy and Silver both make good points, and we should accept people for who they are, regardless of orientation or what they identify as. Remember, not feeling attraction towards others is not a defect, simply a trait that one can possess. It doesn't mean that those people are increasingly or something's wrong with them, it doesn't mean they're weird or hard to get along with. Just look at Snazzy and me here on the CB! There are plenty of lovely people out there not too unsimilar to us! :) You deserve to be heard, and being aro, ace or both is perfectly acceptable and valid. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise!
And if you, dear reader, are on the aro/ace spectrum(s) that's okay -- great, in fact! You are strong and beautiful and are allowed to be yourself and proud of it. Never forget you are special, but not wrong -- you're just you, and that's alright, no matter what. <3
(June 30, 2022 - 8:47 pm)
If it helps I'm writing a novel series where one of the main characters is AroAce openly and two other MCs are on the Ace spectrum (there are 4 MCs in total)
(June 30, 2022 - 9:13 pm)
Thank you all of you for your supportiveness/ ranting with me. Most of my friends don't get why I don't like ships, but the truth is, I just can't relate. I can't relate to the half-million love songs on the radio either.
Realizing that I am aromantic has been a wonderful process, and I hope to discover more about myself in the future. If you think you might be aro, or somerhwere on the spectrum, that's awesome!
(July 4, 2022 - 8:52 pm)
(May 26, 2023 - 6:22 pm)
(May 26, 2023 - 7:40 pm)