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I'm leaving.
Chatterbox: Chirp at Cricket
I'm leaving.
I'm leaving.
And not coming back. I've freaking had it with all these stupid goings on. I already have a very stressfull life of being put down every day for literally everything I do, because nothing's ever enough to impress anyone! And your drama ain't helping. Yes, I'm not freaking perfect like some of you think you are. I'm whiter than a snowman, dyslexic, have some sort of memory problem, get migrains that probably mess with my head, allergic to every freaking smell in beauty parlors, get high altitude sickness all the time, my best friend hates me for who knows why and hasn't really talked to me in over 2 years, and have some sort of weird blood circulation problem. And yet, everyone still expects me to be some sort of magical wizard who can take any freaking insult put out there and do any math problem because 'Im a genius just like me dad'. I have to crack at some point. If you keep hitting a walnut on a table, you'll get to the soft center at some point. So yes, you win. I quit. I cant handle this anymore. Life is too stressfull as it is without people I don't even know nagging at me for everything I do. You know who you are. And don't appologize, everyone knows you don't mean it.
Yes, Ashlee, Owlgirl, Mei, Mango....i can't do it anymore. I've finally cracked. I'm not a dragon. I'm a human, flesh and blood, like everyone else here. I've been at it for a year and a half, defending everything from my dyslexia to other's rights. And I just don't have the confidence or stranght to do it anymore. I'm sorry. Im sure you'll do great without me.
KG, if youre still here, please keep in contact. <3 u.
So bye, I guess. If the Admins don't deleat this first. I guess they'll just have to figure out themselves that I left.
Claaws, I think you are overreacting to honest feedback on the recent Warriors thread. Your creative writing is greatly appreciated on Chatterbox and will be missed if you do leave. But we hope you'll reconsider, look at the whole picture, and stay. I know there are many others who agree with me!
Admin
submitted by Claaws, YES ITS ME
(July 17, 2017 - 11:31 pm)
(July 17, 2017 - 11:31 pm)
I miss you.
If you want to go, I understand that, but everyone here... will miss you and be sad, ruining their computer screens with their tears (well, I am). The Chatterbox will never be the same again. Come back on Valentine's Day, will you? Goodbye. ⚡️
(July 19, 2017 - 3:47 pm)
Oh.... please don't leave. You are an amazing, wonderful, magnificent, marvelous, awesome, creative and kind person. You are great at writing and have a bunch of cool talents. Please remember that. It's a terrific thing that you stand up for others, too.
(July 19, 2017 - 4:59 pm)
I saw this thread yesterday, I'm going to admit. But I couldn't respond just then. So I waited and in the meantime looked at the Warriors thread to see if I could piece together the full story. But that thread... that is a can of worms that I am not willing to touch right now. And frankly, something I don't understand very well. So I'm not going to focus on it in this post. I will never know the full story with all the reasons of why you are leaving. I haven't seen your deleted posts and I haven't seen all of the posts leading up to this. Like you said about that walnut (yuck, I hate walnuts), I haven't seen all of those hits because I wasn't here when most of them were happening. I haven't seen those metaphorical hits you've received in real life, or here. So I don't know what to type here, and I can't understand your decision. But I can apologise. Because I was part of one of those metaphorical hits. Claaws, you aren't a dragon, and I never thought of you as one. I imagined you as being less unsure than me, sure, but I did imagine you as a person with insecurities that at some point might not be able to continue. Regardless, I depended on you and others to stand up too much, and I shouldn't have done that. It can be draining and hard to have people do that on top of everything else you have going on. I've experienced that much, at the very least. So, I'm sorry. Truly sorry. -Awkwardly switching points here: You aren't obligated to continue defending people. If you can't anymore, that is fine, you have already done so much. It won't be the same, but you're right, we can all continue.
Another thing, you will be missed. I haven't really gotten to know you well, but I can tell you've had a great impact on everyone here, including me. So many people wish for you to stay, including the Admins and I. You aren't a dragon, but you are a free spirit and will do what is best for you, however. So since you decided not to stay, I respect that. There are so many words missing from my mouth (hands?), because I've never been good at this type of thing, so you'll have to excuse me for that. QD...
Will you be back for Valentines day?
(July 19, 2017 - 5:05 pm)
Goodbye, friend. We will miss you. Our Claaws, our geode, she opened up and shone with the light of a thousand stars, and hungry hands tore at her and she weakened and she cracked and she shattered, broken into a thousand bright pieces, and we scooped up all that was left, our gems, the little fragments we could save, and we will each carry pieces of her to the end of our days.
(July 19, 2017 - 5:24 pm)
Claaws...Claaws, Claaws. It hurt me more than you will ever know to read that. I am so, so, sorry, and no matter what you say, I DO mean it. I'm not sure what you are upset about though. You are an amazing person, an amazing writer, and I don't know what anyone of us did to hurt you. What I did to hurt you. It's okay that you aren't perfect. None of us are. I'm sorry you had to go through all of this. I'm sorry that you are upset. I'm sorry that we hurt you. But please don't leave. At least not yet. Just stay a little longer so we can work this out. I hate seeing my friends fight and the Admins being blamed. What are you mad at them for?
Claaws, I know you're hurt. I know you're going through a tough time. But you can do it, you can pull through. Please, just can we talk about this first? I don't want you to make a sudden descision based on pure emotion, although I'm not saying you are. *hugs very tightly*
You are an amazing writer, and if you leave, I will miss you too much. You have added so much here, added so much to Kyngdom, and you were one of my first Kyngdom friends. We love you Claaws. You're not alone. Even if you don't believe me, I will still be here for you.
Remember, broken crayons still color. Cracks can be mended.
Stay strong my friend. <3
(July 19, 2017 - 5:57 pm)
Wow. You know, I thought I'd at least get a warm goodbye from you guys, but it's cold and bitter. That's what I get for expecting nice things, I guess. Thanks to you guys who do care, though. I'll miss you too.
And Mango, to be honest I was pretty convinced that I was a dragon at some point. Powerfull, fearless, brave, and strong. But I woke up from that fantasy. The world is mean and cruel, and it will take more then a dragon to correct the wrongs of humans. My own race. We're destroyers. We destroy everything, even ourselves. I wish I could do more to stop this, but I can't. I can't.
(July 19, 2017 - 7:46 pm)
"stay strong friend"
"we will miss you"
"you've had a great impact on everyone here"
"your writing is amazing and a joy to behold"
"you are a spectacular cber and i wish i could be there for you in real life"
"the chatterbox will never be the same"
...
"cold and bitter"
o k
(July 19, 2017 - 7:59 pm)
Um, majority have been saying nice things to you. I don't think you should take offence and see every comment in a negative way.
(July 19, 2017 - 9:17 pm)
You can. I beleive you can.
You'll continue to stand up in life, maybe just not right now. Later. And I'm going to continue believing that.
You just need time.
You don't need to be fearless. And it's good to be a dragon. But it's also good to be an ordinary human. The world is mean and cruel and it will take more than a dragon to correct the wrongs of humans. It will take many people, working together.
Claaws, we care about you. I'm sorry, I don't know if it was me, but looking back, my post could come off as cold. Some are confused, but we all want you here, I just know that it is no use to argue. I don't really know how to make my goodbye warm (and honestly, I just assumed it would be weird on your part to get a warm goodbye from a mostly stranger), but I'll miss you. I'll miss you and your influence on the CB. (imagining warm, toasty mugs and roasted marshmallows as hard as I can)
Good luck with life, (and maybe see you here on Valentines day... please?)
~M
(July 19, 2017 - 9:50 pm)
I see plenty of sweetness...? But then, I've always seen differently, both metaphorically and literally. I can't think of a great quantity to say, but I haven't really known you here, only on Kyngdom. But turtles, your writing is good. It's so vivid, the emotion and the characters, it's like you pour your own life into them. I can see each scene so clearly I sometimes forget that you're not illustrating them. Your artwork is certainly good enough. And you, you yourself are so passionate, so vibrant. I've never met anyone quite like you. You've had a huge impact in your time here, from what I can tell. I would say don't go, but it seems you can't stay here. I hope you find somewhere better. You may not be a dragon, but your absence will be that of one.
(July 20, 2017 - 12:58 am)
I do not believe that anyone meant to be cold or bitter. We will all miss you Claaws, we want you to stay! We want to be forgiven. We aren't trying to be cruel. We want you and all the other CBers to be happy...is that not what all these fights have been about? Everyone has another idea of how they and the CB can be happy, but we fight to get there. Claaws, I do not believe that we meant any harm by what we said. I know I didn't! I think a lot of the people here are trying to give you their helping hand. If you are going to take that in a bad way, it makes us feel bad too.
Please, Claaws, I'm trying to give you honest feedback and I truly truly want you to stay. No, I'm not giving you a warm goodbye because I haven't accepted the fact that you are truly going. Not because I doubt you! That is the farthest thing from my mind, but rather, because I want you to stay. I want you to believe in yourself and the others around us. I respect your choice if you do choose to go, but I will not give you a warm goodbye until I am sure that there is no way that I will get my wonderful friend back.
Please understand, we want to help you...we don't want to let you go because we love you too much for that. <3 </3
(July 20, 2017 - 6:38 am)
Claaws, you've been getting honest feedback on your Warrior's thread. Those people don't want you to leave either. It's also not fair to them to tell them not to apologise because you think they won't mean it. And by saying you've been getting mostly cold and bitter goodbyes is ignoring the majority of the people on here who have been telling you that you will be missed and to come back on Valentines day, etc. Even the people that were a bit more distant still want you to stay, or maybe don't understand your decision to go. But it can be hard to express our true feelings when you are chastising us that we aren't making our good-byes warm enough or that we don't care. We DO care. We WILL miss you Claaws. And we really want you to stay. Take a deep breath and look at all of the posts in a new light and maybe reconsider?
(July 20, 2017 - 10:08 am)
Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Claaws please dont leave!!! You are like a totally awesome CBer and I'm sure people would accept your imperfections just as they have to the "perfect" you. And you're probably not going to want to see this thread anyway ( i wouldn't if i was ticked off) but i just want to personally say that YOU DONT HAVE TO IMPRESS ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There i said it...and I'm gunna say I'm sorry because i know how this feels. I had to just take some time to unwind and stop living a " bouble life " if you will, but if you really want to leave... All together * starts sobiing*... Never coming back...I will totally understand. * grabs a pillow and sobs extremely hard into it* PLEASE DONT GO CLAAWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(July 20, 2017 - 9:00 am)
Uhhhhh... Claaws. You don't need to know who I am, but I think this is probably a good time to say this. We love you. Ok?
We love your spirit, your spunk, your way of thinking, your rebelliousness. We love you.
And you should probably look at HAB's post. It might help.
I'm not saying this is a war, a fight, a conflict. But...sometimes the best way to conquer hate is with love. So, I love you. I love who you are, the things you do, the way you write. I love the characters that you create, I love how good you are at choosing your friends. I love your way of coping with challenges. You turned into a dragon. What's more admirable than that? We love you.
Your leaving is breaking us. Physically hurting us. Please don't go, but if you must...
Come back on Valentine's Day 2019. A day of love.
(July 20, 2017 - 9:22 am)
Ok my last post was more of a why leave outburst than a farewell goodbye. Taken under the circumstances I over reacted and I'm sorry, that's not what you need right now.
First I would like to say that the thing about your friend stinks!
And 2 this may sound a bit strange and buisnessie but... Have you heard of essential oils? My mom uses them all the time and they have helped with her migraines and allergies... They even helped her with a serious hip injury that deemed her unable to run without severe pain.(she runs now every week) One of the oils helps my little sis with her sensory issues, she is also dyslexic and left handed and... She is brilliant!
In that, you are a brilliant young lady and you will defiantly be missed. You where a huge part in this building block tower we call cricket I will miss you deeply. You were one of the first people i met here and even if cricket is fine without you, I'm not, you were a good friend and i wish i could have known you in real life, who you truly are. Please know that you are a very talented girl and that your absence will not go unnoticed.
I will mis you Claaws.. G... Good...Goodbye * runs out of room sobbing*
(July 20, 2017 - 9:47 am)