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Harry Potter Parody: All Seven HP books from Voldemort's point of view
Don't blame me...
Don't blame me for this. Blame ZNZ. Her HP parody inspired this, coupled with a question that I rolled around in my head one day when I was bored..."I wonder what HP would be like from Voldemort's point of view?"
TNO should get a big kick out of this one. ;)
WARNING: This will probably contain spoilers from all seven books, so tread carefully.
P.S. I hope you know, ZNZ, I was just joking. I'm actually thanking you for doing your HP parody and giving me the idea.
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Philosopher's Stone. Whatever.
CHAPTER ONE:
Voldemort: *walks up to Potter family's house* Oh, and before you ask, the reason I'm not trying this on Neville Longbottom-well, just listen to his last name! Longbottom...I ask you...
*bursts in* I think I'll kill James Potter, even though he's a pureblood! But I might not kill Lily, despite her being Muggle-born! This is kind of out of character for me, when I think about it...ah, well, what the hey.
*kills James Potter*
*follows Lily upstairs*
Lily: Oh no, not Harry, please, not Harry, I'll do anything-
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ME: You know, I think we'd better gloss over this part, otherwise it might stop being funny.
Voldemort:...This is supposed to be funny? I'm murdering people!!
ME: You think it's funny.
Voldemort: Well, I'm a supervillian, aren't I?
ME: OK, good point. Back to the story.
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Voldemort: *tries to kill Harry*
(Part of Voldemort's soul: I like this kid. *latches on to Harry* Sh. Don't tell Voldy.)
Voldemort: OWWWWWW! That-hurt. It STILL HURTS! Yah! Gah! Ouch! Help! Gack! Fire! Help help!
After an hour or so of this...
AAAAAAAAH...hey, it doesn't hurt anymore. Where's my body?
*moment of silence*
MY BODY!!! Say, what did happen to it? JKR never really explained...
ME: That's what I'm wondering. Apparently it vaporized. Your Horcruxes worked, though, so don't complain.
Voldemort: I'm not. *drifts away* See ya in the next chapter!
So, whatcha think? I know it's not as good as ZNZ's, but...is it...passable as mildly funny?
Andy P.C. says rwmw.
~Wolfgirl67 signing off.
P.S. Did I mention I'm thirteen?
submitted by Wolfgirl67 (now 13!), age 13! Heheh., Right here. Oh,
(January 7, 2011 - 3:10 pm)
(January 7, 2011 - 3:10 pm)
@Elizabeth M.: Thanks! Your Twilight parody would probably get a lot of laughs...people here aren't too fond of Twilight...:S
OK, so here is Chapter Seven. It's not spamming if you post a lot on your own thread, is it? :)
Chapter Seven:
Voldemort:...Chapter Seven ahoy? That took ages!
ME: It's a very slow ship, okay?
Quirrell: *wakes up* Eh? Who? What? Are we doing the Sorting now?
ME: Yes, Quirrell. On to the story!
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Voldemort: *uses Leglammer...er, I mean Legilimency* *sees Snape* HEY! Why didn't he come looking for me?! He's only had ten years!
Snape: I was establishing myself as a double agent.
Voldemort:...You were?
Snape: No, I was working for Dumbledore because I was in love with Lily Potter. But you don't need to know that.
Voldemort: Oh. OK.
*watches Sorting*
Hey, look, Potter got into Gryffindor! I hate Gryffindors. I was a Slytherin myself. What House were you in, Quirrell?
Quirrell:...*mumbles* Hminfnemun.
Voldemort: Beg pardon?
Quirrell: Hufflepuff.
Voldemort: Fwahahahahahaha...
Quirrell: When you're quite done...*blushes furiously*
Voldemort: You're embarrased!
Quirrell: *mutters* Am not. Hey look, peppermint humbugs!
Voldemort:...Why?
Harry: That's what I'm wondering. Ah well. *stuffs face*
Voldemort: What a greedy boy. Tsk, tsk. *looks at Quirrell's food* Are you gonna finish that.
*Quirrell sighs*
ME: Off we go to Chapter Eight.
Andy P. C. says ooym.
~Wolfgirl67 signing off.
(January 10, 2011 - 8:53 pm)
I know you think it's not very funny, but I love it! The chapters have been getting better and better since the first one! If I ever tried to write a parody, I'm sure it wouldn't be nearly as good as yours. Thanks for the laughs!
(January 10, 2011 - 9:18 pm)
@Alexandra S.: Thanks! :) And you're welcome. ;) What do you think of Chapter Seven?
Andy P. C. says xkrw.
~Wolfgirl67 signing off.
(January 10, 2011 - 11:42 pm)
LOVE It!!!
Oh and here is one of my ideas for the Twilight thing:
Bella: *opens present* *cuts her self* Oh I'm so clumsy. *Blood spews everywhere*
Edward: *drools on her shoulder*
Other Vampires: *Lick lips*
Jasper: Alice, get me my fork and knife.
Alice: *gets fork, knife and napkin*
Jasper: *stuffs napkin in shirt* *Takes knife and fork* *lunges at Bella* MWAHAHA
Other Vampires: *Advance on Bella*
Bella: *thinks* Oh Yes! I'm finally going to become a vampire!
How was that? Oh and @ Wolfgirl67 I don't think it's bad to post on your own thread.. I mean it's yours!
(January 11, 2011 - 10:30 am)