A book idea

Chatterbox: Blab About Books

Help? Opinion on this? Critique?
A book idea...

A book idea     

So, I've been toying with this idea of a 'fractured fairytale' sort of thing for a while, but instead of fairytales, have it be nursery rhymes?

I've been through the entire list of nursery rhymes on Wikipedia and came up with charries based on nursery rhymes. For example, one of my MC's is based off of the boy in the rhyme, Tom, Tom, the Piper's Son. I guess I just thought I'd share this idea with you, even though it'll probably never get finished. 

This is the synopsis:

There's one thing that keeps the land (I don't have a name for the world where all the people from the nursery rhymes live yet) together- London Bridge. It's crumbling, which is tearing the world apart, and there's no way to fix it. At least not that any of them know of. 

My MC, Cassidy, is supposed to be Rockabye Baby. She fell out of a tree in the nursery rhyme land as a baby and was transported to the real world, where she was adopted. (she's kind of struggling with the, 'I want to know who my real parents are' thing, which may be cliche but oh well)

So, she's babysitting her baby brother one day, and sings Rockabye Baby to calm him down. This takes her back to the nursery rhyme land. Then, she goes on this quest to save the land and find her parents!

Okay, it sounds really dumb like that. I can explain the quest and characters in more detail if you'd like, because I have the entire thing planned out but don't want to make this post too long. Tell me what you think! Critique would be much appreciated. 

Thanks for reading!

 

I think it's a great idea, Bluebird, and I'd like to read more! How about calling the land: Mother Goose Land, The Land of Nod, Fractured Fairyland, . . . I'm sure anyone has better ideas than these.

Admin

submitted by Bluebird
(December 11, 2016 - 9:18 pm)

Wonderful! 

submitted by Alexandra
(December 31, 2016 - 10:22 pm)

Thanks, everyone! Sorry it takes me so long to post. 

CHAPTER 3 (PART 3)

We spent the rest of the afternoon preparing. Levi charted the best way across the land, while Kitty and I gathered supplies for the trip.

To allow room for more items, we took three blankets and used them for sacks. I used a bone needle to sew strings to the cloth as ties, which wasn't as easy as it looked but did the trick. We packed cups for water, matches for fire, and a few first aid items like bandages and salt for infections. Then, we headed over to Kitty's house to gather clothes and food.

She shoved an extra shirt and pair of overalls into her sack, then held up a mahoghany dress for me. "Will this fit?" She asked. "I never wear dresses, this one's practically new."

I shrugged and threw it in my bag. We went out into the kitchen, where a few shiny copper pens sat on dark wooden shelves. Kitty opened the pantry, and threw items over her shoulder that I struggled to catch and pack. Bread, cheese, ham, beans, and... caramel? "Kitty, we are not taking candy." I said.

She shoved it in her pocket. "Okay. I'm ready."

Before we left, I grabbed a cloth napkin and ink from a shelf in Kitty's living room. We'll be back soon. It's hard to explain. I wrote. There are violets at Liza's house, if you want them. -Cassidy and Kitty. Then, we walked back to Levi's house with the blanket packs slung over our shoulders. They were heavier than I thought. When we got there, Kitty didn't bother to knock, we just let ourselves in.

The old man, who I guessed was Levi's grandpa, still slept soundly in his chair. The boy was nowhere to be seen. A few minutes later, he returned to the living rom with an assortment of weapons in his hands.

"Take this." He handed Kitty a sling and the hunting rifle he'd been carrying earlier, which I thought was the worst idea ever. She took off her bag, then slung it over her back. "Don't worry, I know how to handle a gun." She reassured me. I still wasn't so sure.

"I don't trust you with a gun, so..." Levi handed me two knives. One, with a sleeve so I could carry it on my arm, the other, he motioned for me to put in my boot. Finally, he slipped a harness over his torso , which held a small but scary-looking crossbow to his back. He tied a bundle of rope around his waist. "You guys got everything, right?"

"I think so." Kitty replied.

He quickly scrawled out a note. Taking one last look at the old man, he said, "Let's go save the world.

Recommended ryhme(s): N/A

submitted by Bluebird
(January 2, 2017 - 7:45 am)

Wow, I love your idea, Bluebird! I've only read your most recent part, and what your story is about. Both are awesome, and I really hope you finish it, you have fantastic writing skills!

submitted by Ashlee G., age 15, The Future
(January 4, 2017 - 12:53 am)

Thank you, Ashlee! I'm going to try to finish it, sorry if I don't post consistently or often. I've got volleyball 4-5 nights a week now and games are just starting (ahhh, I'm so not ready!) so I'll try to get in as much as I can. I'm really grateful for the support.

submitted by Bluebird
(January 5, 2017 - 10:25 pm)

I love this idea, Bluebird! It's awesome!

submitted by Leeli
(January 6, 2017 - 7:09 am)

I really like that idea but, what if Cassidy had to sing another another nursery rhyme that had to do with a baby?

submitted by Anna H., age 12, VA
(January 6, 2017 - 6:40 pm)

Well, to get back, she actually has to sing 'her' rhyme which is Rockabye Baby. (I think it says in the summary that she is based off of this rhyme, she got into our world somehow and doesn't even know she's from this one) Thanks for the suggestion!

submitted by Bluebird
(January 7, 2017 - 8:05 am)

This story is AMAZING, Bluebird. I can't wait to read more!

submitted by elementgirl18917
(January 7, 2017 - 7:55 am)

Thank you, elementgirl! And wow, admins, that showed up really quick! Thanks!

submitted by Bluebird
(January 7, 2017 - 9:26 am)

CHAPTER 3 (PART 4) (will this ever end? I guess I'm gonna have to come back and divide up chapters better)

Turns out, we had forgotten something. It ws pretty important, too.

"How do you forget a compass?" Levi yelled, his words echoing into the darkening sky. There was no one to hear us, anyway. For miles around, there was nothing but tall, dry, grass, and a few weeds. I couldn't even see a single tree.

Kitty stuck out her tongue. "Well, sorry, I thought you were in charge of the weapons."

He looked about ready to pummel something, and since I was the closest thing to him, i stepped away slowly. "Kitty," He sad, his voice calm in that I'm-going-to-kill-you way. "A compass is not a weapon. And how do you expect us to get all the way across Mother Goose's Land without one?"

This journey was getting off to a bad start. When I looked at the sunset, though, I got an idea. "Hey, Levi, you're a hunter, right? Why don't you just use the stars  to navigate?"

"It's cloudy." He gave us both a killer death stare. There was something else there, though- anxiety? Fear? "Listen," he said, straining to hear a sound in the distance."

It was eerily quiet, with nothing but  the slight rustling of prairie grasses. I couldn't hear anything, but his eyes widened, and he crouched down in the grass. "Wolves," he whispered. "Get down." 

Kitty took the hunting rifle off safety, laying on the ground like a sniper. Levi loaded his crossbow, and I held the knives shakily in my hands. I heard howling now. Levi whispered, 'Whatever you do, don't run. Don't look scared."

I nodded. They were getting closer and closer. Then, it was quiet again. too quiet.

"Go!" Kitty screamed as a great gray wolf jumped on her from behind. A shot rang off. Fortunately, this wolf's pack was nowhere to be found, and Levi prepared to shoot. I threw my knife, but missed by a long shot. "Get out of the way!" He yelled, loosing an arrow that tore through the wolf's stomach. Kitty struggled to get out from under the dying animal. I tried to help her, but the creature wasn't fully gone, yet. With its last breath, it clawed three shallow gashes into my arm.

I clutched the wound, tears springing up at the corners of my eyes. Levi pulled Kitty out from under the wolf. She looked ten times worse, with scratches all over her body annd a deep cut above her left eyebrow. Her face was stained with dirt. Levi lowered her onto the ground, hen immediately dug into the blanket packs in a search for bandages.

"We need a fire," Levi said. I guessed that would keep the wolves away, but there were no trees here, which meant no wood to build one with. "We can't. I'm sorry."

The sky was pitch-black, now. I could see hardly anythiing, but I guessed Levi was taking care of Kitty. I sopped up the blood from my arm with the dress. Well, Liza's dress. After this was all over, I'd have to make her a new one.

"We're going to have to spend the rest of the night here. If there's another wolf attack, I'll wake you up." He paused, and in what little light there was I could see that he was more scared than he cared to admit. "it'll be okay."

I unrolled my pack and used the extra dress as a pilow. As Kitty cried softly and Levi fiddled with the strap of his crossbow, I fell into a dreamless sleep.

Recommended Nursery Rhymes: N/A

submitted by Bluebird
(January 7, 2017 - 9:18 am)

This is really good, Bluebird! Keep writing!

submitted by crookshanks, age 12, hogsmeade
(January 10, 2017 - 9:03 pm)

Top top top! 

submitted by Alexandra
(January 15, 2017 - 7:49 pm)