A book idea

Chatterbox: Blab About Books

Help? Opinion on this? Critique?
A book idea...

A book idea     

So, I've been toying with this idea of a 'fractured fairytale' sort of thing for a while, but instead of fairytales, have it be nursery rhymes?

I've been through the entire list of nursery rhymes on Wikipedia and came up with charries based on nursery rhymes. For example, one of my MC's is based off of the boy in the rhyme, Tom, Tom, the Piper's Son. I guess I just thought I'd share this idea with you, even though it'll probably never get finished. 

This is the synopsis:

There's one thing that keeps the land (I don't have a name for the world where all the people from the nursery rhymes live yet) together- London Bridge. It's crumbling, which is tearing the world apart, and there's no way to fix it. At least not that any of them know of. 

My MC, Cassidy, is supposed to be Rockabye Baby. She fell out of a tree in the nursery rhyme land as a baby and was transported to the real world, where she was adopted. (she's kind of struggling with the, 'I want to know who my real parents are' thing, which may be cliche but oh well)

So, she's babysitting her baby brother one day, and sings Rockabye Baby to calm him down. This takes her back to the nursery rhyme land. Then, she goes on this quest to save the land and find her parents!

Okay, it sounds really dumb like that. I can explain the quest and characters in more detail if you'd like, because I have the entire thing planned out but don't want to make this post too long. Tell me what you think! Critique would be much appreciated. 

Thanks for reading!

 

I think it's a great idea, Bluebird, and I'd like to read more! How about calling the land: Mother Goose Land, The Land of Nod, Fractured Fairyland, . . . I'm sure anyone has better ideas than these.

Admin

submitted by Bluebird
(December 11, 2016 - 9:18 pm)

Here are my OC paintings of Cassidy and Kitty: (that white blob is covering up my signature)

 

CassidyandKitty.JPG
submitted by Bluebird
(December 19, 2016 - 8:25 am)

Wow!! You drew that?! That's amazing!! 

submitted by Ember
(December 19, 2016 - 5:17 pm)

I like it!

submitted by Bibliophile
(December 19, 2016 - 1:29 pm)

Thank you, Bibliophile and Ember! 

 

submitted by Bluebird
(December 19, 2016 - 2:41 pm)

Note: There will be one more part of chapter 2 after this. I am dividing it into shorter sections so it doesn't feel so overwhelming to read :)

CHAPTER 2 (CONTINUED) 

Liza's house was more of a cabin or a shack, but still cozier than any house I'd ever been to. It was made of wood, like a log cabin, and through the windows I could see a fireplace lighting up the dark interior. Pink flowers drunk up the rain outside. I shivered uncontrollably as we walked up the dirt path, hoping I didn't catch a cold, or worse, pnemonia. 

Liza opened the door, giving it a little shove because it was stuck. She, Henry, and Kitty took off their boots and left them outside, and I peeled off my socks and shoes and did the same. Inside was warm. It smelled of pine and burning fire, and as soon as I went in I hurried over to the fireplace to warm myself up. 

"I'll let you have some of my old clothes to change into." Liza said. Henry went to the kitchen to make tea, while Kitty joined me by the fire. Prodding the logs with a poker, she tried to make small talk. "So. Where're you from?"

The girl looked about a couple years younger than me, maybe ten or eleven. My teeth had shopped chattering, but my drenched clothing still made me feel like I was trapped in a freezer. "I'm from Michigan. You wouldn't happen to know how far away that is from here, would you?"

She looked at me quizzically. "Michigan? Never heard of it."

"Wait... how?" I asked. "Are we in America right now?"

"What is America?" she replied.

Okay, I was starting to think this was some sort of sick joke. First, a mysterious green tornado inside my house, then finding myself in the middle of a cottonwood forest, and now a girl who didn't know what America was? What is the world was going on?

"Where are we? I mean, what country?"

"We aren't in a country," she answered. "This is Mother Goose's Land."

I was even more confused than before, if possible. I noticed then that this house didn't have any lights, only candles, and nothing electric at all. I was about to ask Kitty why, but that is when Liza returned with a dress for me to change into.

"It might be a little big, but it'll do for now." She said, handing me the dull blue frock and a pair of socks. "Kitty, when it stops raining, will you run to your house and grab a pair of boots for Cassidy?" I don't have an extra pair, and her shoes will not work for walking around the forest. Especially after a storm like this."

I looked around for a bathroom, but didn't see one. Liza pointed me in the direction of her room. "Thanks," I said. I was reluctant to leave the fire, but I needed to get my clothes changed before I froze to death.

Her room was cozy like the rest of the house, with an old bed, a mirror that looked sort of antique, and a small dresser for her clothes. There were oil lamps hinged on the walls, and breezy, once-white curtains that were tied up at the moment let me see the still-raging storm outside. I peeled off my shirt and jeans, and slipped into the dress. It was a little big around the chest, but it would do. When I went back out into the kitchen, the three of them were sitting around the table, sipping tea. 

The kettle hissed. Henry motioned for me to sit down next to him and Liza, where a cup with delicate blue designs was waiting for me. I winced as the hot tea touched the roof of my mouth, but welcomed the warmth after a few sips, starting to feel better already. The four of us sat in silence for a while, listening to the sound of rain from the leak in the roof make a plink! sound as it fell into a pot. 

It was easy to tell that Henry and Liza were related. They had the same flat nose, the same dark hair, and the same monolidded eyes- they even shared the habit of tapping their fingers subconciously on the table! The boy's eyes shifted from place to place, like he couldn't find the right words to say. Finally, Liza covered for him, and said, "I want to know how you ended up here."

"Honestly?" I said with a bewildered grin. "I'm not sure how I got here, myself."

"I'm listening."

"Well," I began, searching for the right words to say. "You say you've never heard of Michigan? Or America? That's where I'm from. And I've never heard of Mother Goose's Land either, what a strange name... anyways, I was babysitting my brother, Logan. He was crying, and I decided I'd sing to him like my mom- my adopted mom- had sung to me when I was little. All of a sudden, this dark green tornado appeared in the room. I'm not sure what happened. The next thing I know, I wake up in a completely unfamiliar forest, right before a rainstorm."

Kitty beamed. "That is so totally cool! I wish I had a little brother. Not some pigeon-lived hornswoggler like him."

"Hey!" Henry protested, but Liza shushed him. She seemed genuinely interested in what he had to say. "How is this possible? I knew there was a way to get from our world to yours, but how? Up until now, I thought it was just in storybooks."

"Yeah, this is crazy." I replied, giving her a warm smile. I wondered why I wasn't more shocked than I was, maybe I'd hit my head harder than I thought. With one last sip, I finished my tea, and Henry got up to take the mugs to the kitchen. While he was gone, I said, "It's too confusing. So, I guess I got transported to your world, Mother Goose's Land, right? I won't even ask how. This isn't some sort of twisted dream, is it?"

"Pinch me," Kitty said, and I did. She was real, all right. I buried my forehead in my hands, my headache starting to come back, and this time, not from hitting it.

Henry re-entered the room. "You said you were adopted, right? You don't know who your parents are?"

This question always made me feel a little downcast, even after thirteen years. I'd always felt the desire to find out anything about who my real parents were. I'd made excuses for them in my head, denying that they'd just leave me because they didn't want me, but as I grew older, it got harder and harder. "Yeah, I mean, no, I don't know who my biological parents are."

"Interesting." Before he could say anything else, Liza changed the subject. I gave her a grateful look. "Hey, look, the rain is letting up a bit. Kitty, do you think you can run home and grab Cassidy a pair of boots now?"

She nodded, already heading towards the door. "Yeah. I'll be back before you can say Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers!"

~~~ 

Recommended rhyme(s) to read if you haven't heard them: There's a Hole in My Bucket; Lucy Locket Lost Her Pocket; Peter Piper Picked A Peck Of Pickled Peppers;

 

submitted by Bluebird
(December 19, 2016 - 9:15 pm)

CHAPTER 2 (CONTINUED, PART 3/3)

When Kitty returned with a pair of leather, dirt-caked boots, the rain had slowed to a slight drizzle. I sat by the fire, while Henry and Liza went on about something in the kitchen, talking about how they would fix his bucket or something. Wow, I thought. A world without duct tape is a very sad place to live in. 

"But I can't wet the stone, Liza! I don't have a bucket to carry the water in!" Henry said, exasperated. Kitty snickered and handed me the shoes. "Here, put these on. I want to show you around."

I did as she said. They were a little too big, which meant she had really large feet for a ten-year-old, or mine were really small. I guessed the latter- I'd always been short, and even though I'd shot up a few inches over the winter, all of the other girls in my class were taller than I was.

Kitty eased open the door, only to find an envelope with an orange wax seal on the doorstep. I noticed that there were three violins stamped into the seal as she picked it up, calling,
"Henry? Liza? We got more news!"

The two of them didn't seem surprised to see it. Liza took it from Kitty and pulled out a letter inside. "More news about the bridge," she mumbled, scanning the page, her eyebrows furrowing. "Bridge?" I asked. "What bridge?"

"Oh, I forgot, you don't know." Henry replied, mirroring the same worried expression that Liza had on her face. "London Bridge. It's all that's holding Mother Goose's land together. I don't know, it must be some type of magic or something, but that bridge is like the energy source that keeps us alive. And now, it's falling apart."

I thought for a moment. That got serious- and strange, fast. "Why don't you guys just use cement- er, mortar to patch it up?" I suggested.

"We've tried." He said solemnly. "Trust me, we've tried everything." I noticed Kitty staring off into space, not paying attention to our conversation at all. Liza tapped Henry on the shoulder and handed him his bucket. "Henry, we should take this into town to get it fixed. Cassidy, feel free to stay as long as you like. We'll find a way to get you home." She turned to Kitty. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do. We'll be back by sundown!"

We watched them walk down the path and into the forest. Then, Kitty grabbed my hand, and started pulling me back towards the stream.

The rain had completely let up now, but the sky was still a little dark. "Whoa, slow down!" I exclaimed. I was tripping over branches and stumbling on loose rocks, almost face-planting into the fresh mud. She let go of my hand. "Sorry. I just have to show you this thing I found!"

As we walked, she told me about herself. "I go down to the creek a lot, actually- to fish, and to find things. This stream is connected with the same river that runs by the castle. One time, I found a silk bag with two gold coins in it!"

We arrived at the bank, where she hopped onto the first stepping stone. I followed her, losing my balance and almost toppling into the icy water. "But," she continued. "My mom doesn't like me doing that. She thinks little girls are supposed to wear pretty dresses and have tea parties, not go around wading in rivers and coming back home caked in mud."

"Aw man. That stinks," I said, remembering how my parents had always encouraged me to what I liked, even if it was something traditionally 'girly' like sewing. Even if it would most likely be of no use in life. "I'm sure she'll come around."

"Hopefully." We jumped from the last stepping stone to the far side of the far side of the stream, where Kitty went over to a pile of large boulders. "What are you doing?" I asked as she struggled to push one out of the way.

She grunted and moved it about an inch. Forcing her arm through a small opening she had created, she groped around for a minute and finally found what she was looking for. "Got it!"

Kitty pulled out what looked like a pocket. An old, worn-out pocket. The faded pink ribbon around it seemed to be all that was keeping it together. Holding it out with an excited grin on her face, she said, "Look! I found this yesterday."

"What... is it?" I gingerly took it out of her hands, examing the fabric that seemed to have been yellow, once. I noticed that the stitching was crooked. "This looks like it hasn't been touched in fifty years. You say you found it in the river?"

"No, actually. I found it in an alleyway in town. I'm quite a scavenger, you know." She took the pocket back and untied the ribbon. "That's not all. Look at what's inside."

Kitty carefully pulled out a piece of yellowing parchment that had been folded in half three times. It was a letter. "Whoa, cool! I exclaimed. "Have you read it yet?"

"No. I, uh..." She looked down. "I can't."

"Oh." I didn't know how to reply. Everyone I'd known back home had been able to read, it was kind of just a part of life. I guess that meant she'd never gone to school, either. "I can read it, if you want." I offered.

She handed me the letter. I cleared my throat, then began.

Dearest Lucy,

I write to you from the castle. Prince Cole, the heir apparent, shall be coronated by the time you receive this letter. I fear I may lose my job. The boy seems completely irresponsible, spending his days dancing and his nights throwing grand parties, while we servants work all day and night with low pay. There is talk of a strike.

Kitty gasped. "Henry told me about this! The Great Page's Strike!" She paused for a second, processing the information. "But that was a long time ago... this letter must be at least fifty years old!"

I continued.

Which is why I send you this. A piece of valuable information has come into my hands, and I fear for my life. Don't worry for me, Lucy- I will return, if you can do everything I tell you. You have to trust me.

On the back of this letter, you will find a map. It may seem like a blank page, but I promise you that it is drawn in special ink. To reveal it, boil a pot of red roses and blue violets, and brush over the paper with the mixture. You must trust me.

The map is a map of Mother Goose's Land, but there's something on it that only you, I, and a few of the most people in the land know about. The Starlight Caves. I stumbled across a book as I was cleaning the royal library, which said that a single wish can be granted to those who journey to the heart of the caves. You have to do this for me, Lucy. Wish for us to go to the human's world. We'll be safe there.

Love,

Your dearest husband, Simon 

Kitty and I looked at each other in disbelief. I turned over the paper, but nothing was there. I guess that meant Lucy had never revealed the map, which meant... I didn't want to think about what had happened to her husband. All I could think of was his words, 'Wish for us to go to the human's world'. Could this be my way back?

"Kitty, I-" She looked up, her eyes wide like she'd just dicovered the cure for cancer. "I've got it! I know how to fix London Bridge!"

"W-What?" I stuttered. She smiled like a madman. "Henry said no one knows how to fix it. That it can't be fixed by things like mortar. Well, we can just wished for it to return to normal! I'm a genius!"

"Oh." I remembered the words 'a single wish' in the letter. Now how was I supposed to get home?

Kitty grabbed the letter and began to run. "Where're you going!" I called.

She looked back, her short black hair blowing in her face. With a grin on her face, she yelled, "I'm going to save the world!"

~~~~~ 

Recommended ryhme(s) to read if you haven't heard them: Ol King Cole, Roses Are Red, London Bridge Is Falling Down, Starlight Starbright, Simple Simon 

submitted by Bluebird
(December 21, 2016 - 7:36 pm)

*Stares wide-eyed*

Wowwwwwwwww........

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE, PEOPLE! 

submitted by Leafpool
(December 24, 2016 - 1:21 pm)

Yeah, that is really really amazing! You have great ideas!

One question though- where is her little brother Logan? I thought she was holding him when the cyclone appeared. Did he stay at home? 

Oh and I love the fact that Cassidy sews!! I sew clothes, too and I've never really read a book where the character does that. That's really cool that she designs her own dresses!

I'm in awe... :) 

submitted by Caroline, age 15, GA
(December 26, 2016 - 5:10 pm)

Wow, that is a big plot hole, thanks for pointing that out, Caroline! Yeah, this is my first draft, so if I miss anything else like that please tell me.

submitted by Bluebird
(December 26, 2016 - 10:29 pm)

No problem! Thanks for sharing such an awesome story idea!

submitted by Caroline, age 15, GA
(December 27, 2016 - 12:51 pm)

Yes! I love this! This is so AWESOME!!

I am in LOVE with fractured fairy tales. 

submitted by Bookworm
(December 22, 2016 - 12:11 pm)

Wow. Bluebird, this is just the most wonderful writing ever! I'm sure I'll be back to read more! 

submitted by Alexandra
(December 23, 2016 - 11:03 am)

Thank you for all the support, guys! 

CHAPTER 3 (PART 1 OF 4 or 5)

I forced Kitty to come back and think about what she was doing. You couldn't just run off into the forest without planning and preparing, at least a little bit. "Besides," I said. "We have to reveal the map first. You wouldn't happen to know where we could find red roses and blue violets, would you?"

"We?" She questioned. I laughed. "Did you think I would let you go alone?"

Kitty smiled, grabbing my hand and pulling me in the way that Henry and Liza had gone earlier. I remembered Liza saying, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." I'm not sure she would have approved of what we were doing. "Come on!" Kitty said. "There's a flower shop in town."

As we walked, the dirt turned to gravel, then cobblestone. Trees were replaced by stone buildings and townhouses, and the bell from a large steeple rang out over the land. Shiny black horses pulled carriages through the streets. I'd never seen anything like it before, and when Kitty saw me marveling at the surrounding town, she asked. "What're ya looking at? There's nothing to see here."

I shook my head. How wrong she was.

We pass by a few children playing a game like soccer in an alleyway. One of them caught sight of her, and called, "Hey, Kitty, come play! We're short on man."

She shook her head. "I've got to go save the world. I'll play when I get back, though!"

We continued on our way. I wondered how everybody seemed to know each other, even though Henry and Kitty must have lived one or two miles away from the town. I guess they had nothing better to do that socialize. Kitty tapped my on the shoulder, interrupting my thoughts, and said, "We're here."

There was a sign above the door that said, 'Lavender's Florals'. Kitty didn't need to be able to read the sign to know it was a flower shop. White lilies and blue hyacinths overflowed from crates inside the windows, chrysanthemums and daffodils and daisies made up display bouquets out front, and orchids and other various blossoms bloomed in painted clay pots. I couldn't stop staring. Finally, Kitty clapped her hands in front of my face, and said, "You coming or not?"

The inside of the store was even more beautiful, if possible. Every flower imaginable seemed to be there. The smell was intoxicating, and I couldn;t pick out the flowers we needed because I kept getting distracted. Kitty headed over the the bush section. She picked out two of the smallest, reddest roses, then said, "Look for violets. I'll be over there, you can take this half of the store."

I saw everything from tulips to jasmine, but no violets. Kitty seemed to be having no luck, either. I was about ready to give up, when a rough hand tapped me on the shoulder, causing me to jump in surprise. "Is there anything I can help you girls with?"

I guessed that this woman was Lavender, the owner of the flower shop. She had thin, white hair held back with a bandana, and wore a green apron that was covered in dirt. I'd sewn one like it back in second grade. "Uh... yeah." I said. "We're looking for blue violets."

Her back was hunched over, most likely from years of bending over and tending to plants. "I have a few in the back. Wait here."

She hobbled over to the room behind the counter. I glanced at Kitty, who had a hand in the deep pocket of her overalls. She pulled out a few silver coins. Then, Lavender returned with s terra cotta pot, full of small blue violets.

"Here you are. That'll be seven silvers." The woman said. Kitty sighed, and handed over the money, "Well, that was the last of my savings."

I chuckled. "Wow. That would've done you real good." 

She feigned a scowl, then broke into a grin. Carrying the pot in the crook of her elbow, and the roses in her other hand, she stuck out her tongue and walked out the door. I had no choice but to follow.

~~~~~

Recommended rhyme(s) to read if you've never heard of them: Lavender's Blue

submitted by Bluebird
(December 26, 2016 - 10:57 pm)

CHAPTER 3 (PART 2)

We boiled a pot of water over the cast-iron stove in Liza's kitchen, then placed the rose buds and a few violets in it. They dissolved almost immediately. I'd heard of the invisible ink that spies used, but ink that was revealed by flowers? I still had my doubts.

They was only one way to find out.

The letter had said 'brush over the paper', so Kitty dipped her too-long sleeves into the pot and dripped water onto the letter. I guessed the shirt had once belonged to Henry. Nothing happened for a moment, and I raised my eyebrow at the younger girl. "Just wait," she said, still hopeful.

Then, a few blotches of red ink that looked like mountains appeared on the parchment. "Quick, put more on there!" I said. It was amazing. Soon, she and I were looking at a very detailed map of Mother Goose's Land. I didn't understand it, though.

"This is so confusing," I puzzled aloud. "I guess I'm used to looking at maps of my world. It's just...so...unfamiliar."

She looked over my shoulder. "Don't ask me. I can't read."

I sighed. An illiterate ten-year-old and a girl from another world, going on an unplanned journey across a strange land, alone? Why did I think we'd ever have a chance?

"Forget about it," I said, but Kitty held up a finger. She froze in thought for a second. "I've got it!" she exclaimed, her face lighting up. "We'll get Levi to help us!"

"Who's Levi?" I asked, but she had already taken the letter and was heading out the door. I rubbed my temples. Kitty was hard to keep up with, I knew that now. 

After a few minutes of running, I finally caught up to her, panting and sweating, while she was barely even breathing hard. "You...need...to stop...running...off...like that," I wheezed. She smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. I just get so excited!"

I shook my head. "Whatever. Just...tell me...where...we are."

"Levi's house!"

I looked around. 'Levi' lived in a small barn, apparently. The building was made of ashy-gray wood, seemingly about ready to fall over, and unlike Liza's house, did not look very comfortable at all. There were a few small windows, but I couldn't see through them. A few animal skins were tacked to the outside wall. Kitty nonchalantly strolled up to the front door, like it was perfectly normal, then knocked. It opened a few seconds later.

A hunting rifle, not a person, came through the opening. "Kitty, watch out!" I said, while she just laughed. "Levi, put the gun away. It's just me."

The rifle disapeared, and a fed-up looking boy poked his head through the door. He had heavy eyelids, and high, sharp cheekbones, and his skin looked weatherbeaten despite his age. He couldn't have been older than fifteen. "What do you want?" he grumbled.

She beamed and opened the door all the way, letting herself in. "Help. Why else would I come to see you?"

The boy wore what looked like crude camoflague. His brown tunic and pants had green and tan paint splattered on them, and his boots had leaves attacked to the sides. When Kitty grinned at him, his eyes rolled so far back in his head that I was afraid they'd get stuck. Kitty ignored him and walked inside, while I reluctantly followed.

The barn was sparsely furnished- there was a small wooden table with a gingham tablecloth, a stove, a few rickety chairs, and a cot in the corner. Pots and pans hung from the low-lying rafters, and next to a window, an old man lay sleeping in an armchair. Levi set his gun on the table. "Who are you?" he asked me.

"Cassidy," I answered warily. I didn't really trust this boy yet. He didn't reply, only looking at Kitty with a make-it-quick expression. She placed the map on the table. "Can you help us make sense of this?" she asked.

Levi leaned over, examining the paper. "Well, it's a map."

"Really?" Kitty replied, with an eye-roll that rivaled her friend's. "We know that! Just tell us how to get to where we need to go!" 

"But you didn't tell me where you need to go." He responed. From the looks on their faces, I thought they were going to get into some kind of fight, so I stepped in. "We're trying to get to The Starlight Caves."

Levi looked at me like I was crazy. "I've never heard of it. Trust me, I know this land better than I know my own head. No such thing as 'The Starlight Caves'."

I held up the map. "Look again."

He narrowed his eyes. "You're crazy. Even if this was a real map, these 'caves' are on the opposite side of Mother Goose's Land. There's no way you two could get there without killing yourselves."

Kitty thought for a moment. "You could take us."

"What?" He raised an eyebrow. "There's no way in heck I'm going anywhere with you."

I was thinking the same thing, I almost said. Kitty wasn't going to give up quickly. "Levi, the fate of the world is resting on our shoulders!" She pleaded with puppy-dog eyes. "You have to help us!"  

"No, I don't." He shoved the letter back into Kitty's hands, then began to push us toward the door. "Goodbye."

"Wait!" Kitty cried, causing the old man in the corner to startle in his sleep. Levi shushed her, then whispered, "What now?"

"There was a letter. On the back of the map. It says something about a wish, and I know your grandpa has been having a lot of head problems lately, I just thought you might want to-"

"Let me see," Levi grabbed the letter from her and scanned it over. He looked at us as if he might be abke to tell if we were lying or not. "So, if I help you get to these 'caves', I get a wish?"

Kitty and I glanced at each other. It had said 'a single wish can be granted to those who journey to the heart of the caves.' It could either mean we each got a wish, or our group just got one to share. If what Kitty said was true, though, that this was the only way to save Mother Goose's Land, we needed to do whatever it took. "Yes," I answered, making my voice sound as sure as I could. "You get a wish."

He glanced over at the old man in the chair. "Fine. I'll take you."

Kitty squealed, and ran over to hug him. It was clear that she had no respect for personal space. I sighed. An illiterate ten-year-old, a girl from another world, and now, a grumpy hunter-boy who was only helping us because we had sort-of lied to him, going on an unplanned journey across a strange land? What was I getting myself into?

~~~~~ 

Recommended ryhme(s): This Old Man (that's Levi's grandpa)

submitted by Bluebird
(December 29, 2016 - 8:30 am)

This is amazing, Bluebird! And definitely keep the recommended rhymes at the end of the chapters!

submitted by Leeli
(December 30, 2016 - 12:30 pm)