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NaNoWriMo Workshop for CBers!
Hey! So a...
Hey! So a lot of you guys are on NaNoWriMo, and I was wondering if we could make a thread here to work with eachother for our stories next month, give suggestions, give criticism, and help eachother out. I need the help!
Also, NaNoWriMo is about books. So it's fitting for BAB, right? I think I tried this before, but it isn't coming through.
I have a plotline written out. Is it good? It's Children's fiction. The title is Sarah Secret. The Plot:
Sarah is an energetic young girl who believes in magic (VERY important to the story.), who's lived in the city all her life. Then, one day, her family grows. Her mother has a baby, and her Father realises that they can't live in a cramped and crowded apartment anymore, so he decides to follow his dream, and move to the country. They live in an old but updated house, but her dad has decided to get goats and fufill the rustic lifestyle. However, they live miles away from the nearest store, but there is many scattered houses if you go a mile away from where they currently are.
All of this is just a background.
The Secret: about 300 feet away is a very large house. It's grand, and Sarah calls it a Mansion. But the house has something to do with the tragic past of Rowina Road and the county that they live in, And it is said that a man lives in it alone. But, with the help of Sarah's troublesome goat, Andre, who snatches a peice of paper with a 'spell' on it that she wrote, she discovers that the man is not the only one who lives in the house.
A little girl, named Elizabeth, lives there as well. But why is she always inside the house? And why is she so quiet, and obedient?
As Sarah struggles to find her place in her new home, she also struggles with growing up, as she'll be 12 next year, and her only comfort and solace are her books, fantasy books wrote by authors in the city. Books with magic, which Sarah insists on reading, and writes 'spells' and runs wild with her imagination.
Elizabeth is her secret. But what's a secret if it's meant to be told?
submitted by Icy, age 12!!!, The Forest
(October 6, 2016 - 9:03 am)
(October 6, 2016 - 9:03 am)
NNWM isn't themed is it? It just seems that everyone is doing fractured fairytales...
(October 7, 2016 - 8:12 pm)
I've planned my. . . prologue!
Okay, so it starts out with in London, on a dark and stormy night. . . The street is seemingly normal, except for the white house on the corner with a blood- door. Soon a carriage arrives, and a girl gets out (this is my MC) She goes into the house. . . and never returns.
I'm trying to go for mysterious, but I think it sounds kinda creepy. . . What do you think?
Oh, and the prologue is from the driver's point of view.
Also, Icy, when NaNo starts, can we post parts of our novel?
And Inktail, I'd love to buddy with you, but I'm on the adult NaNo site. . .
(October 7, 2016 - 8:36 pm)
September, that's AWESOME!!!!! Your right, it is a tiny bit creepy, but I feel like most mysteries are. :P
And np about the buddy thing. I expect that from a lot of people. XD
I have a short summary!
Elle and Elizabeth Yethra are twin princesses in the kingdom of Ayeorth.(I know. Hush.) As nice as the name Ayeorth(shhhh) sounds, it is a cruel and horrid place for Pegasi. Thousands of Pegasi fight per month to please the people and royals of Ayeorth. (Stop it.) It is said that no Pegasus can ever escape.
But what happens when one does-and one of the princesses is involved?
So that's the summary. Yes, I know about Ayeorth, but it isn't the same is it? Did I spell it the same? I don't think I did...ok, I need legitimate help. KYNGDOM users? Icy?!
Anyway, so the book follows Elizabeth Sophie Yethra I on her quest to save Pegasi in the kingdom of Ayeorth. Her sister (Elle Sofia Yethra I), father (King Lionel Richard Yethra III) and her mother (Queen Rena Beth Yethra II) all adore the Pegasus fights (think WOF) and don't understand why Elizabeth(Eli for short) hates them. Well, she doesn't at first. But then a truly smart Pegasus appears in the arena(His name is Winter) and Eli attempts to stop the fight. It doesn't work, and she is grounded for three days. But she doesn't stay in her room. She sneaks out to the PHB(best I could come up with at the time-Pegasus Holding Bay) and talks to Winter through the bars of his cage. Unfortantly, the other Pegasi hear their talk of escape, and IMMEDIENTLY want in. Eli tells them she can't take them all at once, and says she will eventually break them all out!
The Pegasi agree, and Eli sprints back to her room for the final day of punishment. That night, she sneaks to the PHB and unlocks Winter's cage, slowly leading him out. Of course, they are almost caught, and Winter must make an unscheduled flight. Eli is exhilarated-until Elle catches them. She tells their parents, and Eli is locked in her room once again-this time, with the door locked. Winter escaped, and Eli hates herself for what she did.
On the third night of her punishment, she is lying miserably in bed when she hears the beating of wings outside her small window. It's Winter! She rushes over, but Winter can't fit through the window. He snorts and leaves. Eli feels hurt. Why did her best friend leave? She cries herself to sleep that night.
On the fifth night of her punishment, Eli hears the wings again-but much, much louder. She rushes over to the window again. Winter and tons of Pegasi are there! Eli almost weeps with joy. Winter calls forward each Pegasi in turn, until a small one is able to fit through the bars. The tag around her neck reads "Flame." Winter, Flame, Eli and the Pegasi escape the room and fly to the forest.
Eli believes Winter broke out all of the Pegasi until Winter tells her (somehow) that he didn't. They end up hiding the Pegasi around the forest, and Winter and Eli head back to the castle for one last try. By the time they get there, it is dawn, but Eli knows the fights don't start til after lunch. So they break out about 1/4 of the Pegasi before Elle stomps downstairs. A huge fight breaks out between the twins, with Elle finally seeing reason and agreeing to help Eli. They break out another 2/3 of the Pegasi before Queen Rena sees them, with King Lionel right behind. Elle becomes a traitor to Eli and the Pegasi, explaining everything that Eli had so confidently confided in Elle about three minutes ago.
Eli is sent to the castle prison and given Pegasus-proof bars, and she spends a hour screaming for help before Elle comes down. Elle apologizes and explains-it's all part of her master plan. She breaks out her sister and they free the other 1/4 of the Pegasi, escaping on two new Pegasi ("Leaf" and "Twig"). Eli realizes Winter is still in the prison and turns to Elle to tell her, but Elle is gone.
Eli wonders where she went before there is a roaring noise of wings behind her and she spins around but there is no one there. The wings are in front of her now, and she turns to see Leaf, Winter and Elle, smiling proudly.
Then there is some sort of ending, and it all wraps up nicely. Supposedly.
Feedback?
(October 7, 2016 - 10:10 pm)
The KYNGDOM spell is Ayearth. :P
The strange thing is, Kyngdom echoes throughout this--
Eliyana Fur Pawprint, the artic fox,'s nickname is Eli, although she's a girl (also, it's pernounced Ellie. For readers, you might want to explain that Eli is pernounced like Ellie.). And, Sylvia--
Okay, I'll stop pointing out Kyngdom references. And truthfully, nobody will mind the Kyngdom references.
I would ask what Genre this is. If this is a Children's book (and it feels like it) then I would say keep it the way it is, except maybe don't have Eli be captured in the Castle Prison, just in her room. Maybe have something else happen to Eli that might be simillarly along the lines of capturing, just way worse (banishment from the royal family! Ect!). Maybe she is sent to the--OOH!
What if Eli gets sent to the very Pegasus arena that her Parents so adore watching people do things in, and forced to fight?
And then, she escapes, but at the cost of the capture of Winter?
It's your story, but I would suggest not capturing charecters more than once. It can be a little dull for readers to read. Otherwise, I love the story and the plotline, and it leans a bit towards Childrens Novels, but it has other themes too. That's my feedback! I hope it wasn't insulting.
(October 7, 2016 - 11:28 pm)
No no no, it wasn't insulting at all! It was super helpful actually!
Yeah, as soon as you said that, I realized that there is a LOT of Kyngdom inspiration in it. :P
Yeah, it's kind of like a 7 (sometimes)-13 year old book, if that makes sense. I agree with the capture thing. I was half writing it off the top of my head XD I really really LOVE the idea about Eli and the arena and the banishment idea! I do agree that just confining her to cages and rooms was getting a bit boring. XD
So yes, I would call it a Children's Fantasy. XD if that's a thing.
(October 8, 2016 - 11:37 am)
You can post parts of your novel at any time.
(October 7, 2016 - 11:04 pm)
You should probably keep it that way in the beginning.
(October 8, 2016 - 11:31 am)
A bit of my story. Is there anything I need to work on or develop? I'm starting with a bit of mystery theme.
Prologue
Every story that is written with touches of magic must begin with "once upon a time". Every young girl knows that. Every good child, inside their homes, sits there, staring, thinking about princesses, or kings, or knights and dragons.
But, once upon a time or not, paper or type is still a vessel to contain a type of magic--writing. And this is a secret too, although this is one to keep. And, let's hope that the story drops a bit of it's magic from it's vessel into you.
So, let us begin with "Once Upon A Time..."
Chapter one: The ‘Mansion’ at Rowina road
A small girl stood in front of the window, standing in the grandest place possible--the biggest house at Rowina road. She stepped on the polished oak floors, stared at the portraits, and then sat down in the large, red velvet couch, swinging her feet to and fro. Then she stared a bit more at the portraits, wondering about what would happen if Grandmama were alive, and what she was like. She imagined all of the portraits laughing and smiling, drifting about the room, living in this very area. Some would sway around, some would delicately step.
And then, the door swung open. It was Father. And Father was angry.
(October 7, 2016 - 11:05 pm)
OMGOODNESS YOUR GUY'S STUFF IS ALL SO AMAZING!!!!!!!!
*sigh* I can't wait to read the actual books.....
Anyway, I got the first part figured out though I still don't know whether to use a prophecy or not.
*Inner Windswift* Prophecys are WAY to overused. WoF, Guardians of the herd, familiars, pretty much every fantasy uses a prophecy
I know. I wanna be different, but I don't have ideas other then that.
I too draw a blank.
Well I'll just introduce the first part of my story and maybe we'll figure something out.
You don't have a title either.
Yeah I do, Its Gryphon's of Fyrrlae, everyone knows that
Do you seriously want to introduce your first book as gryphons of fyrrlae? I won't lie, its really tacky.
Well, Um-erh-uham-iih-uuuuh- your right, I got nothing. Anybody have any ideas?
(October 8, 2016 - 7:52 am)
@Windswift
I think you could use a prophecy, but don't put it as a prophecy. .. Okay, that sounded weird. What I mean is that you should have one, but instead of putting it all at once, spread it out. Maybe one of your side charries falls into a trance and starts saying some of it. Or maybe your charries arrive somewhere where another part of the prophecy is carved into a wall. . .
(October 8, 2016 - 12:59 pm)
HELP!!
Inktail mentioned that a lot of people on NaNo are doing fractured fairy tales, and my username/password isn't working, and I want to do something unique, but I had my mind set on combining several fairy tales and it would be amazing but I don'twanttodosomethingthatpeopleare alreadydoing*GASPS*
IT WAS GOING TO BE BEAUTIFUL!
Three princes were sent on a series of quests by their father, the King. And each prince had completed the other quests sucessfully. But now they were ordered to find the perfect bride in three months. They all went out searching far and wide for the girl that they wished to be their bride.
Two months had gone by when they started to return home. But two of the lads came upon amazing sights: One found a tower in the middle of the woods, and the other found a castle covered in brambles.
The third prince continued on his way home, stopping at a neighboring kingdom for a night to stay with the king there. He suggested a ball. And so each found their brides, and returned home. But the question is: Who won the contest?
*sighs* I WANT TO WRITE IT SO BAD BUT NOT IF LOADS OF OTHER PEOPLE ARE WRITING FRACTURED FAIRY TALES!!
Help?
(October 8, 2016 - 11:51 am)
Now I feel embarrassed. I now realize I can write it anyways, even if it won't be unique. Oh, well.
(October 8, 2016 - 3:53 pm)
Your story idea sounds amazing! It's definitely unique! I'm not sure that there actually ARE alot of other people doing fractured fairytales. I mean, I'm doing one (I don't know. .. Is Alice in Wonderland a fairytale?) but it might just be you and me. I definitely read your novel!
(October 8, 2016 - 7:01 pm)
Thank you! I'm really excited about this one. I've always loved fairytales dearly. It's funny, at first I was just planning on doing Rupunzel, Sleeping Beauty, or Cinderella. But I couldn't pick just one!
Then I was rereading Sun and Moon, Ice and Snow (Jessica Day George. The fairytale that it's based off of is my favorite of all time!) and I saw how much the third brother comes into play, and I went "AHA!! I'll incorperate three princes into all of it!!"
(October 9, 2016 - 8:02 am)
Then continue! It's not like they read them, right?
Which site are you on? The adult or the YWP? If you're on the adult, I can't help you. XD
(October 8, 2016 - 5:30 pm)