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NEW REBELLION!
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This is a continuation of the origanal Rebellion! thread. It got too long for my computer to load :,(
submitted by Pirocks
(March 28, 2009 - 10:11 am)
(March 28, 2009 - 10:11 am)
*in reply to Wolfgang's comment on the last thread*
Bella is real? I can't relate to her at all. She complains about not having friends, then when she gets welcomed with open arms by the entire school, she complains about that. She says she's not very pretty, but she describes herself as having ivory skin and being very slender yet soft (?). She isn't interested in anyone or anything except the hot, single guy who goes to her school. She doesn't have any hobbies, she's one of the smartest people in her class apparently (though I'm not to sure about that, she doesn't seem very intelligent to me). Her only flaw is clumsiness which mysteriously vanishes in New Moon. She's a Mary Sue; end of story.
Grammar/spelling mistakes: besides frequent misuse of various words such as "chagrin", here's a small selection:
-Bella's bedroom had "been belonged" to her in chapter 1 of Twilight.
-"In the classroom, I settled into my chair and let my books—props, again; they
held nothing I didn’t already know—spill across the table." (Midnight Sun). Can you say awkward? I had to read that like three times before I figured out what it meant.
-"!!!!" You don't use quadruple exclamation points while writing seriously. You just... don't.
-"Neither of us was what anyone would call verbose" - Word misuse! Talkative should have been used instead of verbose.
-"The phra seif" TYPO! I'm not sure what she meant here.
-Breaking Dawn, "Lobisomem" misspelled as "Libishomen", and used to mean vampire. They're actually werewolves.
-"I'd had worse" - this means "I would had worse" or "I should had worse." WHUT?
-"The van was a bit claustrophobic" ...So, the VAN is afraid of tight spaces? *snicker*
And so on and so on.
Onwards to plot holes:
-In Twilight, when Bella speaks to James on her cellphone, Jasper and Alice with their super-vampire hearing should have been able to hear the entire conversation and put a stop to it. Either they secretly want her dead or it's a plot hole.
-How do the Cullens miss so much school and not get in trouble?
-For that matter, why not just say the kids are home-schooled?
As to the vampires-don't-have-fangs thing, one of the most automatic, most recognizable features of vampire fiction is that the vampires have fangs. Even Buffy!Vampires, who don't have fangs normally, grow fangs (well, all their teeth become wicked pointy-like, and their canines elongate) when they transform.
(March 29, 2009 - 1:07 am)
Nothing about Twilight makes sense. When I read Breaking Dawn (horrible), and I'm not kidding, it seemed like a page was missing. It made no sense.
There are at least a million plot holes in the series, so I'm surprised at how they got through the editor...
(April 3, 2009 - 6:19 pm)
Isn't Midnight Sun an unfinished manuscript that got posted on the internet? I know Stephenie Meyer posted it later on her website, but most drafts do have errors. At least mine do! :)
By the way, what editions are you referring to?
(April 7, 2009 - 9:13 am)
*is far too lazy to look up editions*
And yeah, MS is a partial draft, and normally I would let grammar/spelling mistakes slide... However, the grammar mistakes in MS are consistent in frequency with Twilight, NM, Eclipse, and BD, which leads me to think that smeyer's editor either a)hates her, and wants revenge, or b)failed English.
(April 10, 2009 - 8:29 am)
'Phra' is harp rearranged. Do harps come into play? I'm not sure about 'seif.'
(April 7, 2009 - 5:18 pm)
Sorry I'm so late in replying to you, TNÖ! It took me a while to find this thread.
1. For all the spelling/grammar mistakes: You're probably right. I'm just to lazy to look them up. But still, that's not really Stephenie Meyer's fault, is it? I mean, isn't that her editor's job or something?
2. "I've had worse" does not mean "I would had worse" or "I should had worse", it means "I have had worse." Present continous tense, I think (English isn't my first language so I'm not to strong on that ;)).
3. re Vampires & fangs: Well, I remember somewhere in Twilight that Edward, when trying to be calming, didn't show his teeth in a smile. That kinda insinuates that he has scary teeth, therefore...fangs?
4. Someone said that the sentence about Edward & his props/books was "braggy"...well, the point is that he's thinking it. Maybe it comes across as haughty, but he's just being honest with himself.
That's all I can do for now....hope it makes sense!
PS:
Oh yeah, I forgot to say that Bella is real in that she can be awkward, isn't perfect, but isn't self-deprecating either. Anyhoo.........
(April 13, 2009 - 11:33 am)
1. Yeh, but you're supposed to get your manuscript as close to perfect (grammatically speaking) as possible before sending it off to a publisher. Books often go through 10+ drafts before being published. In her defense, smeyer does admit she can't spell worth a flurp.
2. You're completely right. "I've had worse" would have been quite correct. However, it was "I'D had worse." With a 'd, instead of 've. ...It'd be pretty silly if "I've" meant "I would".
But, yeah, you see? When I wrote "it'd" just now I meant "it would". If I wrote "I'd like a glass of water" that means "I would like..."
"I would had worse" is not grammatically correct by any stretch of the imagination.
3. They don't have fangs, though. smeyer states that rather often. However, I was under the impression that their teeth are unnaturally white or something like that, eerily so. Heh, just the way sparkles were supposed to be terrifying.
4. Sure, he's being honest with himself. But his narration style is journal-esque and he's writing in past-tense. If the style were thought-flow, present tense, I'd probably let it slide. However, given that it reads like a journal entry, he comes off as a snotty, stuck up brat. Sure, he may well know all his textbooks by heart. That doesn't mean he can just slide it in while narrating. It's an unnecessary detail, and the sentence structure disrupts the flow of the text. It's the sort of detail and sentence that would probably get the chop from a normal editor.
Anyway, the point is, style is everything. Journal-writing in past tense makes conceited comments reflect negatively on the character. Thought-flow present tense merely makes comments like Edward's fade into the background, because people do think kind of randomly sometimes. :)
Re: Bella: No, she's not real. She's a fictional character. ;)
Seriously, though, when is she awkward? Her new schoolmates welcome her with open arms. Everybody adores her. She has the hottest guy in school in, like, two weeks. She's the epitome of self-assured and an attention-seeker, despite her constant whingeing and whining.
Even her others-before-thyself nature has selfish motivation; she risks her life to protect her boyfriend/father/etc, not because she is truly selfless, but because she is terrified of the guilt that would result if someone died because of a lack of action on her part. I mean, dude, not even Dorian Grey was THAT self-serving.
(April 14, 2009 - 8:13 pm)
Gotta get to the front...
(March 29, 2009 - 7:39 am)
Yup...
(March 29, 2009 - 5:21 pm)
Funny story. A classmate of mine who read this said in class today "On an anti site some" odd person " tried to fight Twilight with candy on a stick" and I said "That was me!" Everyone laughed at me. A couple people are making Twilight parodies, and I'm in one, and how is any of this relevent? Sorry, Antis. And TNO, that was great fighting the opposition. That's what to do, people!
(March 30, 2009 - 6:46 pm)
Can you repost it here? My computer won't load it :-(
(March 31, 2009 - 4:49 pm)
I was just reading something on Old Cricket's Library Twilight, and the antis are fighting there, too.
Sparkle? If vampires SPARKLE, how come nobody catches on they're not normal? (I'm pretty worked up about this.) And another annoying thing: And yet another annoyed Reuben rant: The Team Edward/Team Jacob shirts. It's not a competition, and besides, neither of them will ever love you. THEY ARE NOT REAl!
(April 1, 2009 - 6:34 pm)
Personally? It's a go between Team Tyler's Van and Team Lestat.
Of course, Tyler's Van wins points for being in the correct series... On the other hand, Lestat is one of my favourite vampires ever, after maybe Angel or Spike (or Drusilla...)
I'd better stop before this becomes a Buffy rant. :)
(April 1, 2009 - 11:44 pm)
TNO, I tried to quote something you said there, but it didn't work out. Also, I had a rant about OME! Hes' fictional, he can't love you.
(April 3, 2009 - 6:36 am)
Drusilla! Aha....
Is there really a Team Tyler's Van? LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!!!
(April 4, 2009 - 5:39 pm)