Chatterbox: In This Month's Issue

Hello everybody- young ladY geT in hEre RIght nOw thIS is the DECEMBER MCU and Mc YOU are not missing out!

***Is Andrea going?

Yes, everyone is going.

***Not me- EYEAHHHH

You will BE IN THE MCU and you will LIKE IT!

**She doesn’t necessarily HAVE to-

***And I won’t, so that’s settled.

(*)what’s wrong, Sammy? Gotchyerself into a funk t’day?

***That’s the worst thing you’ve ever said.

Definitely the most southern. Intro? 

***Doesn’t that count?

No Sammy, throwing a fit in public does NOT count as an intro.

*This isn’t holly or jolly, so why are we still doing this?

*sigh* alrghty then, we’ve wasted enough time, so let’s just get started eh?

IMPORTANT DATES!

Dec 1 - Eat a Red Apple Day (Majestic Mary/MM)

Dec 2 - National Mutt Day

Dec 3 - Roof Over Your Head Day (MM)

Dec 4 - Santa’s List Day (Clovertoe) AND National Cookie Day (tno)

Dec 5 -  Candle Day AND Flag Day of India!

Dec 6 - Saint Nicholas Day (Nyx)

Dec 7 - Letter Writing Day (PygmyOwl) AND National Cotton Candy Day! (MM)

Dec 8 - National Brownie Day (PygmyOwl and MM)

Dec 9 - Christmas Card AND National Pastry Day (MM)

Dec 10 - Hanukkah begins (Lumi)

Dec 11 - International Mountain Day

Dec 12 - National Ding-a-Ling Day (MM)

Dec 13 - Saint Lucia’s Day (PygmyOwl)

Dec 14 - National Cocoa Day (tno) AND International Monkey Day! (MM)

Dec 15 - National Cat Herders Day

Dec 16 - Day of Reconciliation

Dec 17 - National Maple Syrup Day (MM)

Dec 18 -  Hanukkah Ends (Lumi)

Dec 19 - National Wreaths Across America Day

Dec 20 - Go Carolling Day! (MM)

Dec 21 - Winter Solstice (tno), Humbug day and look on the bright side day! (those contradict each other horribly, MM) AND Crossword Puzzle Day! (PygmyOwl)

Dec. 22 - National Short Person AND Cookie Exchange Day!

Dec 23 - ...the only one on National Today for this day was Festivus.

Dec 24 - Christmas Eve!

Dec 25 - Bradley’s Birthday (Emekittycon K) AND Dolphin’s Grandma’s birthday AND CHRISTMAS! Oh, and its HHG, o’ course.

Dec 26 - Boxing Day (PygmyOwl and MM) AND Kwanzaa’s beginning! (Lumi)

Dec 27 - National Fruitcake Day

Dec 28 - Card Playing Day (MM)

Dec 29 - Still Need to Do Day

Dec 30 - National Bacon Day

Dec 31 - New Years Eve AND Make Up Your Mind Day! (MM)

*isn’t there supposed to be banter right here?

No no, go on.

*Yeah, I’m not going to do that. There’s no way we’re finishing off 2020 with awkward silence. What’s going on?

**Zeke, sweetie, it’s fine, just go on -

*I’m guessing this has something to do with you then?

**Wha-

ZEKE!

***ACTUALLY, it does. 

(*)This is quite an alternate approach to therapy!

*It’s efficient, and it’s their fault for leaving me to do this. Spill, Sammy.

***We all remember the fight from last time, right? Where Kaz got the flamethrower. Well, while you guys were fighting, Andrea was telling me that I wasn’t needed here.

What the-

**That was NOT what I said!

*Andrea, I can feel the searing pain from your red eyes. Calm it.

**Calm? Calm? What? No, I’m perfectly calm.

*Ella, how are you feeling?

I’m on the fence of going downtown without anyone against my parent’s instructions and just bongling around or sitting in the basement and sobbing. Also I feel sick.

*Because Andy just lied. Listen, let’s take a breather with the advice column, alright?

How to use leftover wrapping paper in order to save the environment!

Luna-Starr said: Here's a bright idea: use gift bags rather than wrap your presents, then continue to re-use the bags

Nyx said: Basically what Luna-Starr said, although I guess then you're not using it. Funny. Maybe you could use paper bags from the store, and decorate them with things from nature! Pine cones, pine needles, fall leaves, stuff like that.

Lupine said: use scraps as sticky notes, and therefore you will both reuse the wrapping paper and stop buying so many sticky notes. 

Majestic Mary (MM) said: You can use the wrapping paper to make a collage or as a cool background to hang in your room, if there is not enough paper to wrap something else with. 

totalnightowl said: No matter how ripped it is, save it and use pieces to wrap presents in the future. If anyone questions you, tell them it's collage wrapping paper.

PygmyOwl said: Reuse old newspapers to wrap your presents, especially the Sunday comics section, because it's beautiful. It's creative and unique (compared to traditional wrapping paper, at least), it's better for the environment than buying new wrapping paper to use just once, and, best of all, your gift reciever will have something to read while they're waiting to open your present! It's a win-win-win scenario.

Bakerloo said: You could give the excess paper to birds, to use in their nests.

Dolphin said: Use it to make cards, or art, or presents!

Clovertoe said: Take the big wrapping paper bits and put them on the cardboard from the boxes, then write stuff on them so they turn into protest signs!! Take the tiny ripped pieces and glue them on to give it some 

 p i z z a z . Make sure the big piece is flipped over though, unless you want snowmen dancing around your SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT!!

*News flash: I was blatantly ignored.

***You freaking called me ignorant and overdramatic! A nuisance! 

**You were yelling at me too! I was trying to be calm, but-

***Calm? Calm? I don’t think you realize what you were telling me! My whole purpose is to make Ella second guess herself, make her double check her actions! Sure, it has bad side effects, but it’s my life! It doesn’t matter if you were Buddha calm: you were basically telling me to disappear!

**Yeah, well how do you even contribute here anyway!? You just make Ella’s life worse, honestly! Do you delight in her suffering? 

***No, I want to protect her!

**Have you seen what you’ve done to her? She drives herself up a wall! How does that help her?

***It…

**Well? Answer me, necessary brain function!

***LEAVE ME ALONE!

(Sammy sprints out of the room, slamming the door behind her.)

**Of course. She’d rather leave and cry than admit she’s wrong. 

What do you call a dog in a Santa Suit?

Santa Claws!

(Emekittycon K)

 

 why did it rain instead of snow on Christmas?

 Raindeer! 

(Lupine)

 

What do you call a snowman that tells bad jokes? 

A snowClover!! hahah... get it? sooooooo funny i know. hahaha. Funny.

(Clovertoe)

Andrea, that was unacceptable.

**Ella? What the heck!

You were screaming at Sammy; there had to have been a better way to speak your mind!

**Not when she’s unwilling to even hear me breathe! 

(*) Listen, doll, I probably shouldn’t get involved in this, but you’ve seen what she does to you. You can’t focus on anything, you keep second-guessing yourself, you suffer. Why do you want that?

Well...no, but - 

**But nothing! She’s just a nusiance. Nobody even knows why she’s here.

Um…

*This is awfully intense, so let’s go onto our VERY FIRST EDITION OF…

ADVICE WITH ABCDE!

Anonymous complains:

Dear Abcde,

I am a great director, but no one truly appreciates my work. Not even my CBer understands the subtle genius that is my magnum opus, The Sugarmill Conspiracy. How can I get other people to give my work the praise it obviously deserves?

Thank you,

Anonymous

P.S. You don't know who I am.

Abcde shares Anonymous's pain:

Hi, Anonymous,

I'm so sorry that your work has been ignored and pushed away. I, myself, suffer from the same problem. My genius in the field of pyschology has always been underappreciated, and even, at times, laughed at by my siblings. It is a painful experience, and not one that can be healed by time.

You must take action! The minds of so many people are too weak to recognize true talent easily, and so you must push it in their face. Perhaps you might make a thread telling about The Sugarmill Conspiracy, (which, by the way, sounds incredible.) Sometimes other people are blinded to the things that matter most (me, for example) and those of us with strong vision must guide them along.

~Abcde

Velvet Serpent's Alter Egos write:

I don't need help. The joyful honeychildren* started a whole thread about me and bittersix. I DON'T NEED HELP I'M PERFECTLY FINE TELL THEM TO STOPN I AM COMPLETELY NORMAL AND ORDINARY TELL THEM TO STOP!!!

p.s. please

He is not fine.

He is a volcano waiting to explode.

You shouldn't listen to him. He's totally insane.

Yeah. Mental.

*Honeychildren=Xiex and Zitelle

Abcde graciously responds:

Hi, VS's AEs,

I am very sorry that the honeychildren have invaded your personal space in this way. I understand the pain of people not knowing how to comprehend my perfection and trying to change it. You should lock yourself in your room and not come out until said honeychildren acknowledge your superiority. Perferably playing loud music that they do not enjoy. Or you can hire a dragon to burn them temporarily.

…likke meeee! iburn !…

Remember: YOU ARE ABOVE THE PETTY WHIMS OF OTHERS.

However, if you are a volcano, I recommend contuning therapy. Volcanoes are dangerous.

~Abcde

One of Edgar H.'s Alter Egos writes in to say:

I want to be in your fan club, Abcde.

Abcde, who is very pleased that the conversation has gone in this direction, says:

Of course you do! It's very simple, all you have to do is create a thread on Chirp at Cricket full of all the reasons you love me, The Phantom of the Opera, the color red, and/or goats. These reasons are countless, so it will only take a minute or so, and you will be an offical member of my fan club. I will also give you chocolate made out of ethically farmed goat milk! (:

You can write in to Ask Abcde by posting on the "Ask Abcde!" thread on Chirp at Cricket. Letters may be edited for clarity. Many thanks to Abcde and Liddy for their help solving the issues of so many AEs and saving countless relationships!  

Andrea?

**Is this about Sammy again, cuz I am NOT in the mood.

*Andrea, you at least have to hear Ella out. It’s dangerous when emotions take over, even if your intentions-

(*)Alrighty then logic; what advantages does Sammy serve?

*Ella, take deep breaths.

(*)Answer my question, Zeke. 

*How is it related to our conversation?

(*slowly and tense*)It’ll explain to us why you’re okay with keeping around something that only-

*SomeONE. You have no right to deny the humanity of anyone, even a rival.

**She’s not even human though Zeke: she’s a force! No, THE force of evil! And you know what? I’m tired of it! 

*Ella, breathe-

**I’m tired of feeling sick everytime I do the slightest thing wrong! I’m tired of not being able to focus on a test because of something I said! I’m tired of crying myself to sleep after the slightest argument! I’m tired of saying “thank you” or “sorry” over and over andover andoverandoverand OVER again because I feel undeserving of happiness! I’m SICK AND TIRED of the second-guessing, the swirly stomach, the headaches, the tears, the hurt, the heat, the EVERYTHING SHE’S EVER DONE!

*Andrea heaves, then turns to Ella.*

**Aren’t you tired too?

*Ella, still heaving, goes to the control table and leans to the microphone. The other Floof members watch, Zeke wide-eyed, Kazmara biting her lip, and Andrea nodding satisfied. Ella speaks like an announcer, but her voice is cracking.*

What a wonderful introduction into the advice column! Guess we’ll have to change the name of ours...Anywho, let’s move on with the

 LMWAY!

Last Month We Asked You: SECRET SANTA TIME! Give a gift to the last person who commented (if no one comments, give it to Floof).

Luna-Starr said: This is my gift to you, Ella; It's a small object that takes any shape you wish and can usually fit in your pocket. Fun memories & love radiate from its softly glowing, glassy surface. It allows you to replay the best moments of your life and wards off any sadness or negativity that may come near it. It can also sense your emotions, so if you're feeling stressed, it'll remind you to breathe deeply and give you tips on how to calm down. It doesn't have a name... why don't you give it one? :)

Nyx said: @Luna-Starr my gift for you is a magic gift giver. Anything you want to give to someone magically appears, and you can wrap it up and gift it! It comes in the form of a large cardboard box with a dry-erase board on the side. Close the box, write the gift on the dry-erase board, open the box, and it'll be there!

totalnightowl said: Nyx, my gift for you is a bow that will always shoot at whatever you are trying to shoot at, and the animal will feel no pain at all.

Dolphin said: totalnightowl, I’ll give you a box full of pendants, one for you, and the rest to give away. If you ask them, they will give you food, water, or medicine. They change colors to reflect the mood of the wearer. Plus, they can make more pendants, so everyone can have one! :D 

PygmyOwl said: Dolphin, I present you with The Book of Answers, a magical book that a) lets you read any book in the universe, and b) will correctly answer any one question every day, including what gift someone else wants more than anything else. Happy holidays! (:

Luminescence said: PygmyOwl, I hereby give you a wishing book. Sometimes it is a blank notebook, sometimes it is a copy of The Book Thief ('cause hey, why not?), and it will grant you one wish a day. Oh, and of course, you can control whether you want to read The Book Thief or write in a notebook.

Lupine: To Luminescence I give a never-ending muffin! It's a muffin that you can eat forever and it always replenishes itself. It's also a different flavor each time. It can also be lactose free, gluten free, or vegan, if you want. (I know it's not as exciting as some other people's but honestly who doesn't want a never-ending muffin?)

MM said:  Lupine, here is my gift to you. It is a magical flower. It will take the shape of whatever flower you want, and it will never die. But it can also help you find lost items, by having a petal light up that points in the direction that the object is. I hope you like it <3

Clovertoe said: To you, Majestic Mary, I give you a cape that can change into any clothing you want, because whenever I read your name, I always imagine you in a big cape or cloak, cuz, you know, majestic. Forgot your raincoat and it begins to rain? Solved! Don't know what to wear for the big ball?? SOLVED!! it sucks im sorry

Nyx Said: @Floof I’m giving you a filing cabinet for all of the paperwork you talk about in the HHG!

Bakerloo said: Nyx, I give to you the shrunken head in the Knight Bus from the movie version of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and a VHS copy of Shrek 2. Just what you wanted, I know. You're welcome.

Thank you all for the outSTANDING gifts given. No doubt about it: best LMWAY yet! Round of applause, guys!

*Floof applauds, Andrea and Kazmara slapping their hands like dead fish. Zeke hesitates, then rolls his eyes.*

**What cool gifts! Thanks, Luna and Nyx!

(*) what WILL you name Luna’s gift, Ella? Perhaps Kazmarinyin?

*a tiny rock pops out of the air and Ella catches it. She looks at the rock and smiles.*

Samanithia

**...as in-

Yeah.

*For a while, no one speaks.*

**...Are you KIDDING me right now? *scoff* You’re going to name the thing that keeps all happy memories after something that causes you pain?

No. I’m not naming it Andreite.

(*)ooh…

*Oh snap.

**What!?

Andrea, you’re the one who makes me sad, angry, and jealous. My mood all depends on your interpretation of events, and how many times has that lead us astray?

**Pff...but that’s not all the TIME-

And what about Kazmara? I’ve had many problems with procrastination because she “wasn’t feeling it.” Not to mention, ADHD is both of you to blame.

**Why are you-

And even Zeke. He’s not just my logic, you know: he’s my reasoning. He’s the voice that says “I’m right” when the teacher says I’m not because I’ve corrected teachers before. “You’re in trouble” when I’m getting constructive criticism because I’ve been yelled at when I’ve done things wrong before. Heck, you could even trace him to the origin of this fiasco had he not known the truth from the very beginning. Do you wanna know what the truth is, Andrea?

**What?

Every hair on my head, every line on my hand, every blink that I take is a part of me, whether I like it or not. And every part comes together to form my personality: even my bad parts. But if these parts of me make up my life, are intertwined into my very DNA, then how can I say that they’re bad without saying I’m bad?

**STOP IT! THAT’S WRONG!

Also I can’t just whisk away my anxiety in a flash. You have even less control than I do over that. It’s a part of me that makes me who I am, and it’s in my mannerisms, my speech, my thoughts, everything. If I keep trying declaring war against an integral part of me, I’ll destroy and hate myself.

*part two after the LOTM*

*LOCATION OF THE MONTH!

Third place is…

IN THE CHIMNEY/ IN THE WRAPPING PAPER!

Why: Yis I am de gremlin who hides 

Second Place is…

SPREADING JOY

Why: I just love this: It’s what Floof tries to do, and it’s perfectly holiday centric yet not! outstanding!

EATING CINNAMON ROLLS

Why: You know what? Yeah! Why not? They’re nice and rich and tasty! Who cares about the holiday? We’re rebelling in the name of tasty!

So, I’m choosing to love myself, even the ugly parts. And with that perspective, I’ve realized that Sammy plays an integral role in my life. When I was making the 709 Requiem, she was there to double-check it with my teacher. When I was doing Dungeons and Dragons the other day, she told me to get entirely prepared for people coming over and give reminders to my group. She and you combined told me to get my chores out of the way this morning and listen to church while I cleaned the bathroom. She’s just as important, helpful, and flawed, as every other Floof member. I get that you don’t get along: you don’t have to! But please, just accept my decision so that I don’t cry myself to sleep tonight.

*The room is silent. Andrea looks at Ella with grey eyes. She blinks, but it is like the snapping of a Venus Fly Trap on prey. Her eyes are deep crimson. Moments later, the floor engulfs her in gray smoke; when it clears, she is gone. Zeke and Ella look at Kazmara. She looks down and furrows her eyebrows. The gray engulfs her too.*

*The MCU room is numb and gray, though the smoke cleared in an instant. Then, the door slightly creaks open, the knob held by a pale hand in a black cloak. She peeps her head into the doorway.*

***Thank you.

CHATTERBOX AWARDS!

(Awarded by Luna-Starr)

Spookfest manager: Majestic Mary!

The Halloween Costume party is super fun and festive! Thank you for the awesome Halloween fun!

Returning Friend Who Gets an Award Cause She's Awesome: Leafy!

We missed you so much and we're so glad you've returned!! <3

(Awarded by Lumi)

The Kind Comment Award: Nyx!

Your STOP! Read This thread was wonderful. It made my day, just like your existence. Keep being you!

(Awarded by Bakerloo)

 Completing Magicae Palace Award: Luna-Starr

Congrats, Luna! Creating a ski lodge in the first place is tricky, but to make such a wonderful and surprising one is a very different beast.

 The Wonderful AE Advice Columnist Award: Morning

Kudos for putting up with Abcde, and for working with me on this wacky idea. You're a great friend <3 (Ooh, look at me using text hearts!) 

The Generally Awesome Editor Award: Ella Starburst

Thanks for taking a chance on Ask Abcde, it makes me really happy to contribute to the MCU in this way. 

The Invaluable Part of the Community award: Admins!

 They've worked tirelessly through a pandemic (not just moderating here, but working on a full-blown magazine) and they've earned a break. I'm going ahead and declaring New Year's Eve a holiday for the Admins. I'm going to abstain from posting on that day, and I hope that you guys will join me. Admins, I hope this makes up for the day of rest we missed during Admin Appreciation Month <3 (I'm getting the hang of these, they're fun)

(Awarded by Nyx)

Awesome Community Award: All of the Chatterbox!

Heck I dunno you're all so amazing! Maybe I can award the entire CB! Okay, for Awesome Community Award, the entire CB and all the CBers past, present, and future!

(Awarded by Majestic Mary)

Coolest introduction: MoonHalo!

I've never seen an intro thread written in poem form before. Super cool!

Festive fun manager: The Host!

Thanks so much for throwing the merry winter ball! My AEs are really looking forward to it.

 

 

 

 

*Anyway, make sure to comment content for the Januray MCU!

***Here’s what we’ll accept:

Location of the Month!

Why you should keep smiling (:

LMWAY (It's so freakin’ cold. What are some creative ways to keep warm?)

ABCDE advice (Go to Chirp at Cricket to ask questions!) 

CBer awards!

Important dates!

***Additionally, if you have any ideas for future advice columns or LMWAYs, PLEASE tell us! 

*We’re always accepting new ideas, because making the MCU is harder than it seems!

If ya’ll have any suggestions, make sure to comment them! We appreciate it more than we can say!

*Samantha, I recommend you stay in my or Ella’s room tonight. Nobody’s ever seen her like this, so her mood is a bit unpredictable. 

***Think that Puck would let me sleep in his lab?

Even if he did, it’s Puck. 

***This is a good point.

*I’ll try to talk to Andrea over the month, alright? Let’s just get through tonight and we’ll see how it goes.

OH SHOOT WE’RE STILL ON CAMERA

***Lemme do it, I do the best transitions.

*Alright.