Chatterbox: In This Month's Issue

IT'S THE THANKSGIVING HOLIDAY HUNGER GAMES BABY! I'm here with my co-hosts Kazmara and Zeke Floof -

(*)Howdy!

Hello. 

- And we're ecstatic to have something to do on Thanksgiving that brings you guys joy - 

(*) And have something to do. RIP in peace, extracurriculars...

Let us begin by finding the contestants for the HHG.

NIGHT

LEAFY

GLASS

FELIX

ARVE

MAJESTIC MARY

ZELLA~NEX (again, no tilde cuz stinky software :( )

EMEKITTYCON K

STARCHASER

MOONDROP

DARKLING

XEIX

JOAN B OF ARC

SHARD

ABCDE

NICO 

HEROES OF OLYMPUS (HOO)

ELLA STARBURST (hehe that's me)

#DANCER (see Zella)

JADE J

JWYN

NITESKIIES

NYX

AGENT WINTER

Is it me, or is there a lot of AEs in this Game?

Maybe it's the age of the AEs.

(*)VIVA LA REVOLUCION!

Let's begin before Kazmara gets explosives. 

THE BIG FEAST IDK 

Zella Nex runs into the cornucopia and hides.

Aw, you gonna cry? Maybe poop your pants? Aww baby sweet huddle boy?

Ella Starburst shoots an arrow at Nico, but misses and K.Os Darkling instead.

Everyone in Floof can confirm that this would happen.

Glass breaks Abcde's nose for a basket of bread.

(*)that would be bad, but I'm just happy no AEs have resorted to K.Oing!

That's because Floof ain't in the reaping.

Just drink some water, Alphabet boy.

DAY ONE

Night finds a pet turkey that gets lost. She realizes that the true turkey was the friends made along the way, i.e Jade J who ate it.

I don't have any clever commentary for this. Woohoo, Jade. Gettin' protein. Putting food on the table. Like, what am I supposed to-

Niteskiies wakes up to the sound of a turkey gobbling. It's actually Nico singing. 

(*)we all know a person...

Hey, look on the bright side Nico.

Joan B of Arc becomes a turkey for the rest of the game. 

At least you're not Joan.

NIGHT ONE

Dancer offers Abcde some Turkey Surprise, and Abcde leaves the game.

We didn't add whether it was accepted or declined, but the outcome's most likely the same.

Joan B of Arc and Nico sleep in shifts.

Is that the smartest decision?

Well, according to the Wild Shape rules in the Druid section of the DnD players handbook, Joan retains her wisdom score, which means her perception score is the same, but that doesn't matter much if her strength doesn't stay the same. Then again, if she turned into a giant turkey, that's still a score of 16 with a +3 modifier - 

LOOK. LOOK. AT LEAST WE DON'T LARP, OKAY?

DAY TWO

Moondrop, Night, and Jade J sew a giant blanket for the cornucopia.

(*)I can feel Anish Korn-por's infuriated stare on my neck.

Starchaser regrets the impulse buy of 300 turkeys.

Well you should! How are we going to tell Joan apart now!

Glass becomes a turkey for the rest of the game.

Oh for pete's sake-

Arve becomes a turkey for the rest of the game.

Oh come ON-

(*)Let's just say they're all giant turkeys for stat block reasons, okay?

NIGHT TWO 

Hey Zeke, do you se something near the cornucopia? Is that a light? 

Night enters the cornucopia late at night, where Moondrop, Glass, Dancer, Nico and Majestic Mary are summoning the Shadow Turkey. 

Quiet, Ella, I'm dealing with the turkeys here- Ella?

HOO sets an explosive off, k.oing Niteskiies, Agent Winter, and Ella Starburst. 

Oh, Ella...

HEY, YOU BUMTHUMBS! SUMMON ME!

Starchaser ties a couple turkeys onto a rocket and shoots it into the night sky.

Oh, that works much better! Great job Starchaser; for your creative solution to a unique problem, I award you the ZeDrea Award.

Me approved!

Arve receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.

NO! WE CAN'T TRUST A HUMAN WITH EXPLOSIVES: WHY SHOULD WE TRUST A TURKEY?!

DAY 3

Joan B of Arc begs for Starchaser to K.O her. She refuses, keeping Joan B of Arc alive.

Joan probably didn't even want to leave the game.

(*)Yeah, she just saw the epic rocket and was like "Hey, can I have a turn?"

Majestic Mary, HOO, Zella Nex, and Jwyn raid Glass's camp while she is hunting.

and found NOTHING, cuz she's a TURKEY-

Nyx becomes a turkey for the rest of the game.

Nyx, c'mon, get OUT of here-

NIGHT THREE

HOO rolls on the wild magic table!

Ooh, now we're gonna have some fun!

66, which means...up to three creatures of your choice in front of you take 4d10 lightning damage.

Eh, here's a lightning bolt. Use it as you wish.

The people managing Macy's parade realize that Joan B of Arc has been hanging onto the Charlie Brown float for the whole parade.

The people managing Macy's parade realize that Nico has been hanging onto the Charlie Brown float for the whole parade. 

Hey - GET DOWN FROM THERE GUYS! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THAT EASILY!

DAY FOUR

Leafy finds a pet turkey that gets lost. She realizes that the true turkey was the friends made along the way, i.e Glass who ate it. 

...

(*)...

...

Listen, Moondrop likes fall and all but it's just so gosh darn COOOLD

WOOF YEAH SO COLD

(*)FRICKIN' CHILLY AMIRIGHT BOYS

OH HECK YA GIRL

Nyx catches Jwyn off guard and k.os her.

AND THAT'S TRAGIC

MHM

(*)THAT'S RIGHT 

NIGHT FOUR

Shard tends to HOO's wounds.

Thank yo, kind being. You will be spared from my lightning wrath.

(*) What-

Glass convinces Felix to snuggle with her.

SQQUAKK SQWUAKK!

No, c'mon, you're a turkey-

GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBY!

Dude, please, that's gonna be so weird-

GOOGOBGOBGOB nat 20 persuasion check

ugh, fine-

(*) wait, what is happening-

Majestic Mary begs for Arve to kill her. She refuses, keeping Majestic Mary alive.

I mean, I don't really know what I can do for you buddy. I'm kind of a turkey, man.

(*)Are we doing an improv sess or-

Kazmara, our whole lives are an improv sess.

(*)True.

DAY FIVE

Jade J K.Os of dysentery. 

Oh, woof.

Dancer contemplates her existence as Glass and Nico ruthlessly argue at the dinner table.

Maybe they're arguing about how bad the food was that Jade K.o'd from it.

(*) Or maybe it's about the can-

HAHAHAHA NEXT DAY 

NIGHT FIVE

Felix ties a couple turkeys onto a rocket and shoots it into the night sky. 

oh come on Felix don't be a copycat.

Glass and Joan B of Arc watch as roombas pull a giant pumpkin that contains Nyx.

(*) and they think WE'RE weird...

Starchaser ambushes Zella Nex and k.os her.

One! Event! Closer to the end-

(*)Are you singing

WHAT NO-

DAY 6

Majestic Mary is K.O'd when Arve hits her square in the head with a football.

Well what did you expect? He's a turkey!

Moondrop wakes up to the sound of a turkey gobbling. It's actually Nico singing.

Oh my gosh it's Nico again.

Felix begs for Dancer to k.o him. She reluctantly obliges, k.o Felix.

(*)He must have heard Nico! 

NIGHT 6

Glass tries to treat her infection.

You can just imagine that for yourself, my throat's getting sore.

DAY SEVEN

Emekittycon K contemplates her existence as HOO and Starchaser ruthlessly argue at the dinner table.

Let's hope none of that happens today!

NIGHT SEVEN

Shard enters the cornucopia late at night, where Night, Emekittycon K, Joan B of Arc , HOO, and Glass are summoning the Shadow Turkey. 

I'M RIGHT HERE, VERY K.O'd!

Starchaser severely slices Leafy with a sword. 

(*) not the most creative, but it'll do.

DAY 8

Shouldn't the feast be happening soon? 

(*)Yeah, dude, look over there, we can eat her.

That's not what I- OH MY

Glass K.Os from hunger. 

That is unethical on a MULTITUDE OF LEVELS!

NIGHT EIGHT

Emekittycon K enters the cornucopia late at night, where Arve, Foxface, HOO, Moondrop, and Night are summoning the Shadow Turkey.

This close to leaving, I swear-

DAY NINE

Dancer defeats Xeix in a fight, but spares his life.

(*)Boo!

Emekittycon K stabs Night with a tree branch.

(*)YEAHHHH!

Arena event guys.

(*)YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Wolf mutts are let loose in the arena.

As Arve and Shard fight, a pack of wolf mutts show up and k.o them both. 

is that the equivalent of "Stop fighting or I'll turn this car around?"

Starchaser pushes Dancer into a pack of wolf mutts.

Nyx is eaten by wolf mutts. 

Well, I guess that's how it be sometimes.

THE FEAST

(*)YEHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAAAAAAAH

Starchaser's trap k.os Moondrop.

I'M GONNA SAY SOMETHING OUT OF CHARACTER!

(*)DO IT COWARD! 

STARCHASER, YOU ARE MY GIRL! 

Emekittycon K and HOO fight Joan B of Arc and Xeix. Emekittycon K and HOO survive.

 

(*)WOOOOOOOOOO i mean HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This is an awful lot like a football match, guys.

What Ella, I couldn't hear you from the sound of STARCHASER BEING THE VICTOR!

(*)AS IF! HOO'S NAME IS HEROES OF OLYMPUS - IT HAS HEROES IN IT! 

Hey, Ella, could I talk to you for a second?

Yeah Andy what's up?

We need to end this quickly; it's really exhausting being the logical side.

Okay, let's just cut out all the days and start rapid firing the winners!

Starchaser strangles HOO after engaging in a fist fight.

You see? How's your little hero now?

Hey, Zeke, there's still two more compeititors-

ScrEW THEM! STAR FOR THE WIN!

Zeke, keep this up and the Admins will create registered accounts JUST to ban us-

AHHHHHHHHHH

OH OH OH and the winner of the Thanksgiving HHG IS...... 

Starchaser, Emekittycon K, and Foxface get into a fight. Starchaser triumphantly k.os them both.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

GHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA

TAKE YOUR DANG LOGIC BACK!

I WANNA HAVE FUN! I WANNA FROLIC AND CELEBRATE!

SCREW THAT! TAKE IT!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhh

Floof out!