Chatterbox: In This Month's Issue

Hello everybody!

(*)AAAAAAAGHHHHH!

*What’s wrong, Kazmara?

(*)August is so BORIINGGG. There are no special holidays! And September is basically the same!

*Hey. If the hard work of American citizens isn’t a good reason to celebrate-

(*)It’s not that Zeke! God bless America and all those in it, but there’s no traditions besides making plans with your friends! 

**I’ve never really liked August either. It’s the signal of yet another summer gone by, but it’s not really gone by yet, so you have a battle between a hurried rush to get all your summer plans done or the end-of-summer sadness.

***August is my best month, honestly.

Because of the summer anxiety Andrea mentioned.

***Yerp.

*sigh* Well, I honestly have high hopes for this August, and even if you readers don’t, hopefully we at Floof will be able to change your mindset with our

MONTHLY CHECK-UP!

With the August check-up, we have many important dates that you can celebrate if you’re also in Kazmara’s funk. The fun doesn’t stop there, though; we have a ton of completely random pieces of advice from your fellow CBers as well as silly jokes to tell your parents(they probably won’t laugh, but they’ll roll their eyes, and that’s enough!). To top it all of, our Award Sector has not only Luna-Starr’s work, but the results of July’s fireworks competition!

Without further ado, let us begin with our...

IMPORTANT DATES!

August is National Catfish Month! (M.M)

Aug 1 - DOGust 1st, where all the shelter dogs birthdays are celebrated because their actual birth dates are unknown. (Majestic Mary, M.M) AND Agent Winter’s Birthday! (A.W)

Aug 2 - National Ice Cream Sandwich Day (M.M)

Aug 3 - National Watermelon Day (M.M)

Aug 4 - National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day (M.M) AND Friendship Day (Agent Winter, A.W)

Aug 5 - National Underwear Day (M.M)

Aug 6 - Wiggle Your Toes Day

Aug 7 - Professional Speakers Day

Aug 8 - Sneak some Zucchini onto your Neighbor's Porch Day! (M.M and A.W)

Aug 9 - Book Lover’s Day (M.M and Sirfire)

Aug 10 - Lazy Day (M.M) AND Smore’s Day (Sirfire)

Aug 11 - Annual Perseid Meteor Shower  (M.M)

Aug 12 - Annual Perseid Meteor Shower  (M.M)

Aug 13 - Annual Perseid Meteor Shower  (M.M)

Aug 14 - National Creamsicle Day 

Aug 15 - National Honey Bee Awareness Day

Aug 16 - National Tell a Joke Day! (M.M)

Aug 17 - Black Cat Appreciation Day (Sirfire)

Aug 18 - Nelson Mandela International Day

Aug 19 - Photography day (A.W) 

National Potato Day (M.M) and a very special HHG...

Aug 20 - World Mosquito Day (WHY?)

Aug 21 - Senior Citizen’s Day

Aug. 22 - Be an Angel Day (M.M)

Aug 23 - Ride the Wind Day

Aug 24 - Vesuvius Day

Aug 25 - National Banana Split Day

Aug 26 - Women’s Equality Day 

Aug 27 - Just Because Day

Aug 28 - Race Your Mouse Day

Aug 29 - International Bacon Day

Aug 30 - Toasted Marshmallow Day  (M.M)

Aug 31 - National Eat Outside Day 

***I’m back.

*I didn’t know you left.

***My presence is always floating like a miasmic fog around this shell so that no matter where I am, my grip is strong. Anyway, I brought KFC.

(*)KFC!

**Are we just going to - 

*Probably.

***Ella, why aren’t you taking any...oh. Right. Sorry, I completely forgot.

Sure you did.

***I did!

*Geez Sammy, way to be a jerk.

***I seriously forgot!

For those of you who don’t understand why this was a total jerk move on Sammy’s part-

***-IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!

I recently busted my lip at stay-away camp. I had to go home a day early, and now I have to be really careful when I eat. The wound is right above my front teeth, so I can’t use them and risk food particles infecting the wound. I can’t tear any meat off of a bone…

***but she really likes KFC.

***...Hey you KNOW WHAT? IT’S TIME FOR

RANDOM PIECES OF ADVICE!

Shop local. Especially if you have a local ice cream place, because local ice cream places always have the best vanilla. And usually the best chocolate too.

(Luna-Starr)

Also, only start reading LotR if you're up to a challenge (hoo boy).

(Luna-Starr)

Never NEVER hug a large yellow mouse. 999 out of 1000 times it's Pikachu and it will shock you (electrically). 1 out of 1000 times it's a spottely blue chickmouse. What to do when near an irritated spottely blue chickmouse: accept your death.

(aqua)

Did you know Peregrine Falcons can reach speeds of 200 mph when stooping (diving for prey)?

(Peregrine)

How about that black-footed cats, who weigh 2-5 pounds, can catch Cape hares and drive off jackals and are the deadliest cats with a 60% chance of catching prey, known to locals (they live in Nambia, South Africa, and Botswana) as anthill tigers because of their tendency to take over abandoned termite mounds and fiercely attack anything that comes too near, and are vulnerable on the IUCN red list with a decreasing population? Scottish wildcats, felis silvestris silvestris subspecies grampia (they're a subspecies of a subspecies), are critically endangered with estimates of 40-300 left in the wild. (And this is after a bunch of editing facts out...)

(Blackfooted Bobcat)

***I’m sorry. Geez. I shouldn’t be apologizing! I should be terrifying! I should be living up to my reputation as a being that spreads evil!

**You sleep with a stuffed giraffe.

***hE iS mY sEcOnD iN cOmMaNd iN mY aRmY oF dArKnEsS!

Oh shut it, Sammy. At least your lip’s not busted.

(*) We’re gonna have no chance to turn this around if we look like a BIRD…

* Oh my gosh!

**Zeke, what is it?

*It’s almost 12. We’ve spent an entire morning and done nothing but aimlessly mope! This is why I don’t do emotions...

**Perhaps a few jokes will lighten the mood?

AUGUST JOKES!

What do racehorses eat?

Fast food!

(Emekittycon Kitten)

 

What's a pirate's favorite month?

ARRRGH-ust!

(M.M)

 

Is today reaallly August? 

Or are you Julying to me?

(Sirfire)

 

 

*That just made my mood worse.

**Why are you guys so sad?

(*) Why are we sad? Gee, I don’t know. Hey Ella, you’re the boss, how about YOU explain why you’re so sad?!
...I’m not.

(*)What?

*How?

***so I apoligized for NOTHING?!

It’s like...I’m TRYING to be sad to fit the mood, but I’m just not.

*Andrea, are you malfunctioning?

**No, Ezekiel. I just have no reason to be sad. I mean, on the subject of the busted lip, we’re super blessed. We didn’t have to get surgery or stitches or anything! Just ice.

Yeah, I guess you’re right.

**Zeke, it’s the weekend. That makes it socially acceptable to have a low amount of activity.

*Taking the social acceptance card?...I’ll allow it.

**Sammy, your apologies don’t make you weak. The best part of a villain is relatability. It makes people more interested in your inner workings as a character!

***FANSERVICE!

*WRONG TERM!

(*)Though we all know she’s a sweetheart.
***SHUT!

***And Kazmara, the fact that August is a blank month makes it all the better for our-

SHHH! SECRET!

**woopsorry

Anyway, look at the time! It’s LMWAY O’CLOCK!

*That was terrible.

  

OUR LMWAY!

Last Month We Asked You: What Does August Remind You Of?

Luna-Starr said:For me, August means the transition from summertime into school. It's a dry kind of heat, the last of Summer Reading rewards, and long nights outside with my family. <3 

(Luna-Starr)

Majestic Mary said: me, August means enjoying the last of summer, celebrating my friend's birthday, getting excited to go back to school and then remembering that it's the still the same place that I was dying to get out of in June.

Emekittycon Kitten said: GAHH WE ONLY HAVE ONE MORE MONTH OF FREEDOM FROM SCHOOL EVERYONE ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN!!!!

Agent Winter said: MY BIRTHDAY IS ON AUGUST 1ST YAYAYAYAYAY! I guess that could be an important date, at least for me. I’m having a birthday party in Minecraft this year, because Covid! Yay! 

*Happy birthday, Agent Winter!

***Well, the content’s done. What do we do now?

I know, Floof Trivia! 

Sammy’s name, Sammy Witch, is a pun off the word sandwich.

The name Floof Industries is based on a real stuffed animal I have, the floof. It’s a giant Owl squishmallow.

The idea for Zeke first came up on a CAPTCHA meet and greet thread I created back when CAPTCHAs had only four letters. My little guy Ted said his first word on that thread, which was gout. I had to search that up and see the images. Thanks, Ted. Anyway, Ted said his second word, “Zeke” which made me think he wanted a friend. I created Zeke to be a left-brain representative, and decided he needed a companion. Andrea was thus born!

I originally tried to convince people that Zeke, Andrea, and I were all separate people meeting together to create this MCU. This was before I found out about AEs, after which I quickly changed their species.

Sammy was created on a whim when I thought that Floof ought to have more members. She was supposed to be Andrea’s CAPTCHA, but when she got switched to an AE, I made Sammy a CAPTCHAE.

Kazmara was an on-the-whim thing (much like all of Floof) developed as I was creating the introduction for the July 2020 MCU. Woops, created an AE. She’s actually helped us a lot, though. I was feeling that my characters were very cliche, but I had no way to adjust them. Kazmara’s introduction helped me focus my hyperactivity onto her, while making Andrea a more emotional type.

 Zeke was based on a real life person, who is surprisingly the exact opposite of Zeke, yet shares his name.

**And now, ladies and gentlemen, we have the...

CBER AWARDS WITH LUNA-STARR!!

Most helpful to new CBers: Kitten!

 

Why:Thank you so much for making a lovely new Guide that's far easier to navigate and understand. This was a fantastic idea and I'm sure this will help so many new CBers for years to come. Thank you!

 

Best at using their voice: SurroundedByBooks!

Why: I really admire how, when you saw impersonations, you were ready to fight to make them stop. You made your voice heard in the midst of it and didn't back down, which takes a lot of courage.

(We’d also like to add Luminescence to this one. Great job, both of you: we don’t have a lot of issues on the CB, but we at Floof are proud of you for preventing the few we have!)

 

Maker of Fun Threads: Jwyn!

 

Why: It was so lovely to see another compliment thread, they always lift us up and have a wonderful impact on the CB as a whole. Your synthesia and hand-lettering threads help the CB feel more lively and creative.

 

Now that all is said and done, it is time to find out who won the July Fireworks Competition!

For the CAPTCHAs, the winner is…

DOLPHIN!

Congratulations! It seems that the tiny nonsense-speakers of the Chatterbox would love to sit down at your scenery.

(*) I don’t blame them! It looks like the ideal celebration!

**And those blankets look cozy…

Uh, Andrea, the blankets aren’t part of it - 

**c o z e

 

For the Alter Egos, the winner is…

BARNSWALLOW!

Congrats especially on this win: it was almost unanimous!

(*) whoever chickened out was a PARTY POOPER-

*shuuuuuuuut.

 

And finally, the CBers voted for…

DOLPHIN AND BARNSWALLOW!

*At least WE can make up our minds…

**Oh stop being so salty, Zekey! You’re an AE, not a sliced piece of venison in a smoker prepared by a pioneer!

*...the oddly specific analogy somehow made me feel better.

**:)

*But don’t call me Zekey.

**:(

Never mind those two: I personally wouldn’t have been able to choose either! You both made extremely artistic and surely strenuous pieces of art. Congratulations!

 

Congratulations to everyone who contributed to our contest. You all made a fireworks display we won’t soon forget!

 

*Anyway, make sure to comment content for the September MCU!

Here’s what we’ll accept:

September jokes 

Location of the Month

Tips for Raking! (Submitted by Majestic Mary)

LMWAY (Why do we never hear about #3 and #1 pencils?)

CBer awards!

Important dates!

*Additionally, if you have any ideas for future advice columns or LMWAYs, PLEASE tell us! 

**We’re always accepting new ideas, because making the MCU is harder than it seems!

(*)If ya’ll have any suggestions, make sure to comment them! We appreciate it more than we can say!

 

**Zeke-

*Andrea, I swear-

**It’s alright Zeke, Just breathe. In for four, hold for seven, out for eight. Like that.

*Sorry if I scared you.

**You didn’t.

*Thanks.

Cute. Anyway, I hope this little newsletter brightened your day. I have to go cut up a corndog now, but just remember this: You are loved, important, and blessed in one way or another.

Signed,

Floof Industries.