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Chatterbox: In This Month's Issue
Hello everybody!
***When are you gonna post and edit that worship video-
*SHSHSHSHHSH! SH! Shhhhh…..
Anyway, it's the first day of June, and not a lot can be confidently said about quarantine ends, but here's one thing I'm sure of: it's
MCU TIME!
***that was awful.
SHUSH!
***You know what? Are our intros annoying? Should we even do them? Do people even read them? Does anyone even read-
IMPORTANT DATES!
JUNE IS NATIONAL ACCORDION AWARENESS MONTH (Majestic Mary, MM) AND PRIDE MONTH!
Jun. 1 - Appreciate Your Family Day (Strawberri) AND Milk Day (A.W) AANNDD Luna-Starr’s birthday (No you’re not fired!), ANNNNNNDDDDDDDD HeroesOfOlmpus’ birthday(HOO)!
AAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD FLIP A COIN DAY (M.M)
Jun. 2 - A Day, just like all the other June days (HOO)
Jun. 3 - World Cider Day
Jun. 4 - National Hug Your Cat Day
Jun. 5 - National Donut Day (MM)
Jun. 6 - D-Day AND Yo-Yo day! (MM)
Jun. 7 - Prince’s Birthday
Jun. 8 - National Best Friend Day
Jun. 9 - National Donald Duck Day
Jun. 10 - National Iced Tea Day
Jun. 11 - National Home from Work Day
Jun. 12 - National Loving Day
Jun. 13 - Cynthia Maple’s sister’s birthday! (Cynthia Maple)
Jun. 14 - Flag Day (Strawberri and MM)
Jun. 15 - Strawberri’s Birthday(Strawberri) AND Cynthia Maple’s Aunt’s birthday! (CM)
Jun. 16 - International Day of the African Child
Jun. 17 - Eat Your Veggies Day (MM)
Jun. 18 - International Panic Day AND Nursing Assisstants day! (MM)
Jun. 19 - Juneteenth!
Jun. 20 - Ice Cream Day AND Strawberri’s dad’s birthday!(Strawberri)
Jun. 21 - Father’s Day AND the Father’s Day HHG!
Jun. 22 - AW’s AND MM’s dads’ birthday(another computer to hack) (A.W + MM) as well National Onion Ring Day! (MM)
Jun. 23 - National Hydration Day
Jun. 24 - Joan B. of Arc’s birthday! (JBOA)
Jun. 25 - Starchaser’s Friend’s Birthday! (Starchaser)
Jun. 26 - Take Your Dog To Work Day (?? Indeed, MM)
Jun. 27 - National Bingo Day
Jun. 28 - National Insurance Awareness Day
Jun. 29 - Hug Holiday! And Wimbledon’s cool too, I suppose.
Jun. 30 - Meteor Day (MM)
Alrighty then, super fun, now it's time for our-
***LMWAY right?
Um...we are actually doing advice first this time.
***Won't the lack of continuity upset the viewers? Why are you even doing this anyway? {Gasp} was it because you accidentally switched-
THE FUNNIEST THING YOUR DAD HAS EVER DONE!
Majestic Mary said: I dunno, maybe at dinner when he tells us stories about how vegetables grow and get their names. (Apparently potatoes grow on trees)
Luna-Starr said: He does lots of really memorable, goofy things, like makes funny faces, lurks in the backs of family pictures, talks to the dog in a funny voice, and does really long rasberries. But, owing to the fact that he has an extremely weird relationship with our dog, he once landed himself with an upside-down dog literally on top of him while we were watching church on the couch the other week. I don't know if that counts, but it was definitely funny!
HeroesOfOlympus said: Maybe the time when my cousins and I were playing video games at my grandma's house and he told us to stop soon and then farted really loud.
*Sammy, I swear, if you say one more thing-
***I'm just saying what I'm thinking!
*have you ever thought that maybe, just MAYBE, you should shut your mouth!
***But-
*Shut up!
**No, Zeke. You shut up.
*...
***oHHHHHHHHH
OHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOO
Jun. JOKES!
What insect do you see in summer?
A junebug!
(MM)
I’m really glad I met my father. I swear, I’ve never Dad it so good.
What did June say to July when they were freaking out?
Summer down!
Most dads don’t like it when kids play MCR at the highest volume, but it doesn’t Father my pops one bit.
Why should you never post a story on the Summer Solstice?
You’ll get a ton of heat mail!
What’s a dad’s favorite musical?
The Phantom of the Papa!
What did the sun say to the ice cube?
I’m warming you, don’t get too close!
This isn’t a joke, but if you’re ever bored, search up Unique Nicknames for Dad. You won’t regret it.
Every summer solstice, our local bank forgives every single sweat entirely.
*AND YOU HONESTLY STILL THINK THAT I SHOULD SHUT UP?! REALLY? NO, C'MON, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? SAY IT!
**you wanna know something weird about this discussion, Zeke? You've just been yelling at me the whole time. If you'll allow me to explain myself-
*I have been.
No, you haven't-
*SHUT!
**YOU JUST SAID THAT TO ELLA!
*...
**Anyway, you guys really need to let it loose. Constantly trying to control every single thought
OUR LMWAY!
Last month we asked you: Here’s a volleyball the size of a globe. Do something AMAZING with it.
SurroundedByBooks said: Hmm...let's see. You can do a lot with a beach ball...but I'll fill it with water and freeze it.
"Catch!" *screaming from cold hands and cracked skull*
Actually ignore that part....
(we did not, in fact, ignore it.)
Luna-Starr said: I'd probably get a whole bunch of people to sign it, add the date, then carefully put it in a chest and bury it somewhere. An MCU time capsule.
HOO (HeroesOfOlympus) said: I would paint it rainbow, draw on it with Sharpie, and then keep it on a shelf and use it whenever. or it would go in a time capsule.
Strawberri said: I would paint 'Jesus loves you' on it in everylanguage on earth, because I think everyone should be able to know that. Then, I would send it into orbit around earth like a second moon.
**Anyway, you guys really need to let it loose. Constantly trying to control every single thought that appears in your mind will get you nowhere. It’ll just stress you out.
*But we can’t just accept everything Sammy and you say as the cold, hard truth!
**I know, but there are other alternatives than shutting down the whole brain in order to keep them out! Plus, I know for a fact that blocking out intrusive thoughts only makes them more prevelant.
*You obviously got that from Sanders Sides, but I’ll allow it because of your fine word usage.
**I’ve been reading.
Glad they’re no longer fighting. Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled programming!
LOCATION OF THE MONTH!
Honorable mention: Jumping the pool, because two people posted it.
In third place, we have…
SUMMER STAY-CATION!
Why: For some reason, this makes me think of daises. However, Quarantine is kinda blippy in its endings all over the U.S, so we can’t really put this for an entire month.
In second place, we have…
RUNNING AROUND THE BACKYARD BECAUSE YOU’VE FINALLY GONE INSANE!Why:It’s just beautiful, but there’s no way we could make this fit without ruining its beauteous charm!
In first place, we have…
SWINGING IN A HAMMOCK!
Why: h a m m o c k
That’s it
*If we can’t force them out or just let them run, what can we do about anxious thoughts?
**That’s a good point. We barely know anything about the subject.
***I have an idea.
*Shu - no wait - nevermind - NO WAIT -
***Haha, the fear I cast on you everytime I speak makes me regret saying this, but I think it’s time our old girl did some research~
What does that -
***CBER AWARDS!
NO SERIOUSLY WAIT -
Awesome New Idea: Fidelity!
Why: The idea for a CB book club was very creative, and you managed to orchestrate it perfectly and make things work out really well. This was a very fun idea that was so well thought-out!
Best Returning-ish CBers: Claaws, Kyoto and Viola?!
Why: It's so great to see all of you again, even if it won't be for long! We're so grateful to have you back and we hope you'll all stay a while!! <3
Best new SI: Fermata/cerinthe!
Why: You made an awesome and popoular SI that many different people could participate! This was such a creative and fun new idea for an SI! Great job!
Our Friends We'll Miss: Nyx, Catsquill, and Porcelain Dragon
Why: Even if some of you aren't officially leaving, we're going to miss the company of all three of you guys. You've been good friends to us all and have offered so much to this community. We'll miss you and your impact and friendship will never be forgotten. <3
**The June MCU has jalloped away!
***Did you speak just speak english?
*Make sure to comment for the next MCU!
Here’s what we’ll accept:
July jokes
Location of the Month
Firework safety tips! (Please make them RIDICULOUS.)
LMWAY (All of you are designing the OFFICIAL FLOOF FIREWORKS FESTIVAL! Draw one firework each and we’ll rate them!)
CBer awards!
Important dates!
*Additionally, if you have any ideas for future advice columns or LMWAYs, PLEASE tell us!
**We’re always accepting new ideas, because making the MCU is harder than it seems!
If yall have any suggestions, make sure to comment them! We appreciate it more than we can say!
Okay, but seriously, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN SAMMY I DON’T WANNA DO WORK
***Okay, we’ll do it for you then!
...you’re all me.
***Whoops.
Besides, Andrea will make a whole musical and Zeke will write his own scholarly paper with miles of purple writing.
***Anyway, here’s my idea: we all research some method on treating anxiety, and present our findings on the next MCU!
*That’s...a surprisingly good idea.
**Yeah!
Well, in that case…
TO BE CONTINUED
**ELLA ARE YOU SERIOUS
I’M TOO LAZY TO WRITE A REAL ENDING OKAY
submitted by Floof Industries , Swinging on a hammock
(June 1, 2020 - 12:13 pm)
(June 1, 2020 - 12:13 pm)
I do read your intros, Zeke and Andy! <3
Well, for your fireworks, you'll obviously need to purchase them in bulk. You need that bargain! You'll also need to make sure what you're doing is 100% illegal wherever you are. Fireworks are all about rebellion, right? I also recommend standing very close to them while they're going off. Singed eyebrows are the newest look.
Ooh, a drawing competition! I'll see if I can try to enter something. :)
(June 2, 2020 - 9:24 pm)
(June 4, 2020 - 5:52 pm)
Ugh, for some reason I keep writing comments for threads, then close my laptop before I hit submit and they all disappear. :( Oh well, I'll just have to type up all these July dates again.
July 1 - International Chicken Wing Day
July 2 - I forgot day
July 3 - Eat B E A N S day
July 7 - chocolate day
July 11 - Cheer Up the Lonely day
July 13 - Embrace Your Geekness Day
July 15 - Cow Appreciation Day (Oh, and my brother's birthday - he's turning twenty)
July 22 - Hammock day
July 25 - National Chili Dog day
July 27 - Take Your Pants for a Walk Day (?)
A few jokes:
What does a parrot want on the Fourth of July? A fire Cracker!!!
What is a miner's favorite month? Jewel-ly!
BA DUM CHEE
Location of the month: Lighting up the sky!
Ok that's it.
(June 5, 2020 - 12:47 pm)
Aw, I miss you guys too.
(June 5, 2020 - 3:25 pm)
Firework safety tips, you say? Well well well, I have a few.
First, you must always wear a protective suit filled with ice, to protect you from the heat. A refrigerator with arm and leg holes will do the trick.
Make sure to wear at least three pairs of sunglasses to protect yourself from the lights.
Put in earplugs, then headphones, and for good measure, throw on a couple beanies to protect your ears.
((Don't actually listen to any of these, they are jokes and should not be taken seriously.))
(June 5, 2020 - 7:15 pm)
yey, my locations one second and first place! this is fun, so ill think ill contribute again!
and you guys are HILARIOUS
July jokes: Q: where did George Washington buy his hatchet? A: At the chopping mall. Q: Why were the early american settlers like ants? A: 'Cause they lived in colonies.
Location of the Month: At the beeeeeach (social distancing)
Firework safety tips!: aha, the Firework Master is here! PINE COME OVER AND GIVE SOM TIPS
mk. first, buy one hundred firworks. tie them all together so they go in a controlled direction, not all over. then, you'll need a safety suit. get your cooler. cut leg&arm&head holes in it. empty the icemaker into the cooler and put it on. there, your safe. oh, and wrap a towel around your head so if you fall it doesnt hurt. Now, to be safe when setting the fireworks off, get a long long long stick and light the end of it. that way you dont have to get close to the fireworks to light them! and finally, touch the burning stick to the firework tips and watch them burst off earth! since their tied together, they'll either go straight up in a spectacular display, or explode and kill you. Hope its the first! (these werent very funny, just weird XD)
LMWAY (All of you are designing the OFFICIAL FLOOF FIREWORKS FESTIVAL! Draw one firework each and we’ll rate them!): yey. LEMME GO DRAW AHHH (ill submit my firework later)
Important dates!:
4th of July: FOURTH OF JULY (fireworks day)
H'm . . . , change socks once an hour? Or put multiple pairs on at the same time? Is it wearers' choice?
Admin
(June 6, 2020 - 1:04 pm)
wearers choice. <3
i normally do 3 pairs at a time, then switch 4 times <3
(June 10, 2020 - 1:26 pm)
ahem.
please do not include my firework saftey tips. thank you.
and, uh, i havent drawn a firework yet TOT
(June 20, 2020 - 10:47 am)
Why not?
(June 28, 2020 - 11:54 am)
July Jokes:
Does England have a 4th of July? Yes they do, and a July 5th and a July 6th
Dad: July is my favorite month. Son: Why July? Dad: I never lied
The nerve of some people! Here it is, July 8th and they're outside shooting off fireworks. They almost caught my Christmas decorations on fire!
Firework safety tips: Always remember if your firework isn't launching correctly always look right down the canister to make sure nothing is wrong. If the firework just refuses to launch make sure to properly dispose of it by tossing it into the fire. Instead of hiring professionals to launch the fireworks, just ask your little cousin, it's much cheaper and he'll have a blast.*
Also HeroesofOlympus I plan on celebrating July 23rd, National Wear 12 Pairs of Socks day
*Don't follow any directions above, may cause serious injury, for entertainment purposes only
(June 8, 2020 - 1:02 pm)
Firework safety tips: Before launching fireworks, carefully stare at the sun until you go blind and then get your family and friends to scream so loud you go deaf. This way your eyes and ears won't get hurt by fireworks! :D
(June 22, 2020 - 10:13 am)
July 31st: CB Official Pixie Day
(June 22, 2020 - 10:18 am)
(June 28, 2020 - 10:14 am)
Important dates:
July 31st: my birthday :D
Dat's about it. Just wanted to let everyone know lol.
Location of the Month:
A nice cool swimming pool. (hey that rhymed!)
Firework safety tips:
Get yourself in a huge plastic bubble and stand 20 feet away from the firework. Then get a very long and thin match to light the firework.
Ay, you wanted ridiculous, right?
(June 24, 2020 - 1:30 pm)
Location of the month
At a Picnic!
Joke:
The Fourth of July weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher
took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a
great country,” she said. “One of the things we should be happy about is
that, in this country, we are all free.” One little boy came walking up
to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips
and said. .“I’m not free. I’m four.”
(June 27, 2020 - 4:44 pm)