Intergalactic Ski Lodge

Chatterbox: Pudding's Place

Intergalactic Ski Lodge

Intergalactic Ski Lodge™

~~~

Three things in this universe are true.

1. Time moves linearly; you may skip forward, but you cannot go back.

2. Everything has gravity, and everything is subject to it.

3. The popcorn is not free. 

~~~

You open up the letter. Its been sealed in an awkward way, and you have to take a moment to figure out which end the actual paper comes out of.

Out drops a plain card, with 'HAPPY UNBIRTHDAY' spelled out on colorful balloon drawings on the front of it. You open it up.

Dear CBer,

You, yes you, have won one of our lottery tickets for a free stay at the Intergalactic Ski Lodge™! This is a seven in two hundred fourty-three trillion four hundred twenty billion six hundred million six hundred ninety-two thousand fourty-two chance! It truly is–we counted the tickets we sent out!

Strangely enough, you don't remember buying any lottery tickets lately.

Your stay will be free of charge*, for a fortnight and a day, and in the meantime, you will experience the wonders of the universe traveling on our hyperspace-navigating cruise liner! Pack whatever you like, but please refrain from bringing live animals, liquids, and electrochemically oxidized iron. Those tend to spontaeneously combust if not properly treated.

Your ship departs tomorrow! Upon departure, remember to keep calm, and ignore the fire. It is mostly harmless.

Sincerely,
The Inter-universal-galactic Tour Agency™ 

*The Popcorn™ is not free.

~~~

Welcome, one and all, to the classical ski lodge–but in space! Please leave behind your AEs, your CAPTCHAs, and your reservations about multiversal logistics, and step aboard the Intergalactic Ski Lodge™!

This ski lodge will be accepting seven people, who will need to fill out the form below.

~~~

Name:

Luggage:

Pronouns:

Personality (keep it brief):

~~~

I, your tour guide, will not reveal my identity until the very end, because of company policy of The Inter-universal-galactic Tour Agency™. Thank you, and enjoy your stay.

submitted by The Tour Guide
(September 25, 2021 - 8:08 pm)

back to the Pudding's Place

Name: Raven

Luggage: Four sets of clothes including current set, cloak, sketchbook, three paperbacks, and a pencil case full of art supplies

Pronouns: she/they

Personality: Shy and quiet except with friends

submitted by Raven, age Forever, The Whisperlands
(September 26, 2021 - 7:11 am)
submitted by top
(September 26, 2021 - 12:06 pm)

Name: Silver Crystal 

Luggage: Backpack, water bottle, snacks, laptop and charger, notebook, calligraphy pens, compass. 

Pronouns: She/her

Personality (keep it brief): I'm competitive, a lil lazy, talkative, and I like meeting new people. 

submitted by Silver Crystal, age She/her, Milky Way
(September 26, 2021 - 1:40 pm)

EEEYYY YEEEAAHHH

Name: Writing_in_the_Dark (Or Writing)

Luggage: Sketch book, pencils, chromebook, IPod & headphones, clothes, my dysphoria-dystroying Dipper Hat™ , EVERY BOOK IN HoO, and uh... juciful gummies

Pronouns: They/them (I'm also experimenting with xe/xem/xyrs)

Personality: Weird, obbsesive, sensitive, knowlageable about most things you'll never need to know...

submitted by Writing_in_the_dark, age 12, NY but not NYC
(September 26, 2021 - 2:10 pm)

yes please :D

Name: Tealeaf

Luggage: extra clothes, several chocolate bars, two disposable cameras, a sketchbook, and a pen. 

Pronouns: she/her

Personality (keep it brief): ISFP

submitted by Tealeaf, Steeping
(September 26, 2021 - 2:10 pm)

Name: Quill

Luggage: Clothes and essentials, notebook and pens, various books, earbuds, a camera, and a pocketknife.

Pronouns: she/they

Personality: Shy at first but a chatterbox once you get to know me, friendly, creative, adventurous, impulsive.

submitted by Quill, she/they
(September 27, 2021 - 12:52 pm)

I hope I'm not too late!

Name: Sterling

Luggage: Essentials, sketchbook and pens, camera, a few books, candy

Pronouns: they/them

Personality (keep it brief): Kind of shy, quiet, observant, creative, passionate

submitted by Sterling, age they/them, Autumn
(September 28, 2021 - 8:24 am)

Name: Kitty Cat

Luggage: Drawing supplies, clothes, manga, my laptop to write my  books, notebooks and a sword 0^0

Pronouns: They\them

Personality (keep it brief): Fun, energetic, y'know THAT STUFF

submitted by Kitty Cat, age 13, They\Them
(September 28, 2021 - 9:58 am)

Ah! I'm too late gosh darn it...

submitted by Tsuki the Skywolf, age many moons, extremely new CBer
(September 29, 2021 - 4:49 pm)
---
Raven woke up, brushed their teeth, brushed her hair, brushed her clothes–no, they didn't brush their clothes. That was incorrect. They did brush their cat's fur. Raven wasn't sure if it even was her cat. They certainly didn't remember getting a cat.
Anyways, they brushed their cat.
It was a very fluffy cat. It had thick black fur, yellow eyes, and a tail that tickled whenever it brushed past you. If you, reader, were to have seen this cat, you would've gotten the feeling that it wasn't actually a cat.
Raven was too tired to notice that it wasn't actually a cat. It was a very tiring day. The weather was odd as well. That may or may not have contributed to it.
After Raven finished brushing her cat's fur, she headed to the kitchen to make breakfast. The kitchen was situated perfectly to let the morning light stream romantically through the large bay window on the east wall.
The morning light didn't stream romantically through today. Again, odd weather. It could've also had something to do with the large UFO parked outside.
Raven had to blink twice, before they accepted that there was actually a UFO parked outside, and it wasn't a hallucination.
The cat meowed from behind her.
Raven looked at the UFO, then at the cat, then at the UFO again. It was about now that they realized that the cat wasn't actually a cat.
"Hello," the not-cat said.
Raven opened her mouth. No words came out. They closed their mouth.
"I took the liberty of loading your suitcase onto the pod ship. I assumed you weren't packing anything else. You're our last stop, so we'd better hurry up."
"... What?"
"You know, for our Intergalactic Ski Lodge™," the not-cat sighed, exasperated, "you won the lottery for that. Come on, no time to waste."
The not-cat brushed their tail past Raven's arm, and for a brief moment, she had the impression that the world had flipped upside-down, before it righted itself back up, in a completely different environment.
Raven glanced around, still too tired to particularly put any effort into interpreting what had just happened. They were in a grey, purple, and white saucer-shaped room, with purpled-stained windows circling all around. Six more people were in the room, as well as the not-cat.
A vague thought crossed Raven's mind to identify who they were. She recognized Writing, Silver Crystal, Quill, Sterling, Tealeaf, and Kitty Cat. And also the not-cat.
"Hi," Raven said awkwardly.
"ARE YOU READY FOR A VACATION?!" Kitty Cat exclaimed, jumping up and slinging an arm around Raven's shoulder, knocking the wind out of their lungs.
"... No."
"OF COURSE YOU ARE!" Kitty Cat yelled giddily.
"They drank too much soda," Writing explained, pointing to a vending machine, which was the only other thing in the saucer.
"Please, feel free to take any drinks or snacks, all free of charge, except for the Popcorn™," the not-cat said, "this is only a transport pod. We will be arriving at our Intergalactic Cruise Liner™ shortly."
"What's with all the trademarks?" Tealeaf commented.
The not-cat's face brightened, if it could be described as that. "I'm so glad you asked! The universe is, theoretically, infinite, so there are an infinite number of existences, and therefore, everything is trademarked in some part of the universe. This allows us to trademark ourselves, and effectively prevent any planetary beings in the nearby vicinity from infringing on our copyrights!"
Raven blinked. "Pardon, what?"
"Oh–I'm sorry, it must be too soon for inter-universal theory. Branding is why," the not-cat simplified.
Raven blinked again. "Alright. If you say so."
"When will we be arriving?" Sterling asked, a little quiet.
"In two minutes," the not-cat said.
Kitty Cat made light talk with Raven for those two minutes. Raven wasn't sure what they said. They hadn't slept well last night, and everything currently seemed like a fever dream.
"We're here!" the not-cat announced, "The vending machine will open up as a doorway to our main cruise liner very shortly, please line up in an orderly fashion, it does get a bit cramped."
"Did it just say what I think it said?" Quill whispered.
Raven turned to look at the vending machine. Just as Quill finished her sentence, it rattled ominously, and the entire rack of soft drinks and Popcorn™ shifted violently to the right, the glass sliding to the left, and revealing a hallway that looked similar to airplane boarding tunnels.
"LET'S GO!" Kitty Cat grinned, dashing through the door without a second thought.
Raven lagged behind a little, with Sterling by their side. "Do you know where we're going?" Raven asked, rubbing her eyes sleepily.
Sterling shrugged, and passed Raven the letter they had all been sent. They were very quiet.
Raven scanned over the letter once more, and gave it back to Sterling. "Thanks," they said, "As soon as we get on the cruise liner, I'm finding a place to sleep."
Sterling nodded, giving her a small smile, and after Writing ducked through the frame of the vending machine, the two of them stepped through as well.
As they walked, Sterling unwrapped a lollipop. "I'm hungry," they said, in response to Raven's questioning glance.
"Lollipops probably aren't the best for that."
"They taste good," Sterling laughed.
Raven shrugged. 
The hallway made a sharp right, and they suddenly stepped into an enormous oval-shaped room. It was incredibly big. Probably bigger than the white house. Or whatever the largest building in the world was. The Louvre, or the Smithsonian. Either worked. Anyways, it was very big.
Under Raven's feet, they stood on a glass floor, with multicolored schools of fish darting through the water below. The water seemed to end very shortly, with the floor easily visible, but as Raven glanced at the fish, she realized that it must've actually been very deep.
"Welcome," the not-cat announced, "to the Intergalactic Cruise Liner™!"
---
Do you think you'll enjoy your stay? Or will it be cut tragically short? Oh, what am I saying. We, the Inter-universal-galactic Tour Agency™ have a perfect no-death record! But there's always a first time. Remember to keep hold of your beach towels, and purchase our Popcorn™! 
submitted by The Tour Guide
(September 30, 2021 - 8:13 pm)

I apologize for the peculiar formatting, I have no understanding of double spacing.

submitted by The Tour Guide
(September 30, 2021 - 9:53 pm)

oh my goshhh, it's so good!!!

submitted by Tealeaf, age 14, Steeping
(October 1, 2021 - 8:25 am)

THAT NOT-CAT ™. THAT NOT-CAT ™!!!!! That be MY not-cat ™!!!!!!!!! THAT'S MY SO CALLED CAT OMG-

*deep breath*

This is so cool! And I laughed out loud when I was just like "they drank too much soda"  XD I might draw that later

submitted by Writing_in_the_dark, age 12, NY but not NYC
(October 2, 2021 - 4:39 pm)

---

Silver sat in her room, staring awkwardly at the painting.

They'd each been led through the enormous halls of the Intergalactic Cruise Liner™, walking two bloits (Silver wasn't sure what kind of unit of measurement that was), before being shown to their rooms. No roommates. According to the not-cat, it was in case of contagious prehistoric diseases. Silver wasn't sure why they had to be prehistoric–normal contagious diseases sounded fairly bad, but maybe they had an issue with time travel or something. 

Her room was the same size as everyone else's–the not-cat had informed them it was exactly four by two by one mirrors long. Writing has pointed out that mirrors had varying sizes, and the not-cat had twitched their tail impatiently, and explained, average mirrors.

Back to the room–it was pretty comfortable. There was a large window to one side, which Silver had drawn the curtains over, a couch, a bed, and a couple shelves. It seemed to be orange-themed, since everything was vaguely orange or citrus-y. There was a lemon-shaped lamp.

A large painting hung from the wall opposite the window. It was maybe three feet by two feet, with a gilded silver frame. The painting depicted a single orange slice, melting like ice cream into a vast ocean.

"Modern art," Silver scoffed, and left to join the others.

The hallways were very cleverly designed, with painted arrows on the right wall, no matter which way you were going, that would lead you in case your center of gravity was suddenly flipped. Silver thought they were a little garish, but it didn't matter.

"Silver!"

Silver glanced behind her. Tealeaf was running towards her, waving cheerfully, a backpack swinging from one shoulder, seemingly weightless despite it obviously having a lot in it. "Oh–hi!" Silver grinned.

Tealeaf slowed to a walking pace beside Silver. "Aren't you excited? I heard we're going to have dinner, from somewhere that's not Earth. Hm, I'm hungry now."

Silver watched as Tealeaf unwrapped a large chocolate bar, biting into it like a sandwich. Their backpack had several things in it, including two polaroid cameras. "I think it's cool, but I just don't want to have to walk as much. I don't even know what a bloit is."

"Probably American. Americans will measure with anything but the metric system," Tealeaf shrugged.

---

"... and that concludes our safety guidlines, any questions?" the not-cat finished.

They were all seated at a triangular table, with the not-cat sitting in the middle. The tablecloth was entirely plain white, with nothing on it.

"Why does rust combust in space?" Writing asked, raising their hand.

The not-cat gave their best imitation of a shrug. "Science."

"Who are you?" Raven asked, raising their head sleepily from a pillow they'd brought to the dinner table.

"That is not related to safety guidlines," the not-cat said stiffly.

Raven gave a noncommittal blink. "Worth a shot," she mumbled, and slumped back into their pillow. 

After a moment of silence, the not-cat flicked their tail. "As there are no more questions," I will begin our first course, which is dessert."

"What?"

"We start with dessert, and gradually make our way up to appetizers, since Zarquonian cuisine includes abnormal amounts of sugar in soups and salads."

"What's Zarquonian?"

"It's from Zarquon, idiot," the not-cat sneered.

Personally, Silver thought the not-cat was a bit rude, but oh well.

"Where's the food coming from?" Tealeaf asked, who had moved onto her third chocolate bar.

"I'm bringing it out, in a moment," the not-cat sighed, irritated.

As Silver watched, the not-cat twirled their tail around themselves, the fur exploding outwards, and settling into a large, fluffy coat. With a slight rustling, the coat dropped to the floor, to reveal a young woman dressed politely in a waiter's outfit. She had black hair, and yellow eyes that matched the not-cat's.

"That's the coolest magical girl transformation I've ever seen," Sterling said.

The waiter-girl glared at Sterling. "I'm a waiter. I'm waiting."

Silver glanced nervously at Quill, who was sitting next to her. "For ... what?" Silver asked tentatively.

The waiter-girl pointed at the opposite doorway.

Silver had to blink twice. A cake, probably taller than her, piled high with all sorts of colorful confections, was rolling towards them on a large table.

"Dessert. Enjoy," the waiter-girl said, and departed.

The cake bumped into the table, and stopped abruptly.

Magically, or so it seemed, the cake layers began floating up.

"Holy! Where's my camera–I need to take a picture of this!" Tealeaf exclaimed, rummaging in her backpack.

The cake layers swooped over, depositing themselves on each person's plate.

"Has anyone seen my cameras?" Tealeaf asked.

Silver was too distracted, staring at the cake with a mix of fascination and fear.

"Anyone?"

"I'll help you find it after we eat, because honestly, Zarquonian dessert is looking really cool right now," Kitty Cat offered.

Tealeaf frowned, seeming not totally satisfied, before she shrugged, and cut into her cake.

---

When will the Popcorn™ and murder mystery appear? Soon, very soon! What happened to Tealeaf's two polaroid cameras? I wonder ...

submitted by The Tour Guide
(October 8, 2021 - 7:52 pm)