I missed yesterday, but here's today's poem. It's, uh, a little bit creepy.

the room is perfectly empty

white white white walls cleaner than anything i’ve ever seen

the floor is a perfect square, eleven footsteps to a side

(i counted. twenty times.)

sharp corners that i would cut myself on were i on the outside

sterile air that smells like absolutely nothing

harsh lighting coming from everywhere and nowhere

and me

there in the middle of the room

in a jumpsuit just as white as the walls

(i tried to stain it on purpose and it didn’t work)

i don’t know how clothing can feel like nothing 

but it does

when i woke up i screamed as loud as i could

and nothing happened

and i don’t know if the voice in my head even made it out

and i don’t know if i’m hallucinating this whole thing

and i don’t know i don’t know i don’t kno-

April 4th~ ghost

No such thing as ghosts

I said, no matter how many times you said there are,

No such thing as ghosts

as we played tag and you ran too fast in fall

as we laughed at the teacher during math with our eyes in winter

as you pretended you weren't making fun of me-

don't bother denying it, you were- 

in the spring

No such thing as ghosts

I said, even when I hadn’t seen you for a whole summer and

I missed you.

When we got back you said you’d haunt me forever if I didn’t admit

I loved you but

No such thing as ghosts

I said, and I wouldn’t.

You said you were changing schools next year and

this was my last chance.

No such thing as ghosts

I said, willing it to be true.

I didn’t see you the whole summer, like last year but

this year, I didn’t see you at all

no tag in the fall, no laughter in your eyes, no teasing to put up with

You were right, you know, you’ve haunted me ever since

maybe if I’d admitted I loved you,

it wouldn’t hurt this bad but you were right about that too

There are such things as ghosts.

~~

I reeeeeally hope I reapplied all the italics XD

Also, NaPoWriMo is so fun! Thanks, Kitten, for this thread :D

Side note: this is loosely based off a real experience I've had, of being too embarrassed to tell someone he was my friend and I loved him (as a friend, obviously-- I think this was part of why I felt so uncomfortable saying "You're my friend, and you mean a lot to me" because I was worried someone would take it the wrong way) and he meant so much to me and now he goes to a different school and I'll probably never see him again. I guess... don't be afraid to tell people how much they mean to you. You might not get another opportunity to.

hehe, here is a poem I just wrote on the spot. I haven't written much poetry before, but this one turned out kind of okay. it doesn't really go with one of the prompts, I just had an idea for it last night. also I don't know what to think of the title lol

Vine of Pollution

the world 

is losing its

beautiful plants. 

trees and farms are being

t o r n   d o w n

just to be 

replaced with 

houses, 

supermarkets,

so many kinds of 

buildings.

the natural-ness of the earth

is slowly

escaping from 

my eyes.

someday i fear

there won't be 

any forests left.

pollution

litter

our world is 

slowly

losing

its 

amazing

nature 

This isn't super fitting of the theme, but eh, I like it :)

April 5th~ here’s what I remember:

one: your feet are pounding the wet pavement, you’re chasing me, chasing me because you care but

i don't care, not anymore

two: my feet are slipping, slipping on the soaked steps i’m climbing, but 

i just need to get away from here, from you, from me

three: you said you loved me last night but now the rain is mixing with my tears and 

all you can say is sorry but we both know that it doesn’t help, maybe I should be apologizing too

four: i don’t understand what happened, don’t know, don’t know why the hot, hot tears and

cold, cold rain are both pouring from me and the sky, we’re both crying

five: last night i said i loved you too, so why is hot fury coursing through my veins

why can’t i see your face without the needles driving into my eyelids from the inside

six: that was then, this is now but how come i can hardly tell the past from the present 

i haven’t seen your face in so long but even in this memory i want to scratch it out

seven: it was all your fault but you seem to know that and it’s tearing me apart-

hearts are funny things, and mine was never one for forgiveness

eight: i remember that night like yesterday, so many years ago it was but

that was the last time i ever let my heart get broken and now-

nine: it kills me to love you, but i can't help it, didn’t you know that

i wonder if your heart died too, that night all those years ago 

ten: i think the rain’s still streaming down my face, maybe the sky’s still crying for us 

and maybe we're crying with it 

Ok! 

Im doing the 6th, since im super proud of this!

you~

I remember you

and only you

those lighthearted days

when we were foolish

naive

a young love blossoming

as the adults say

I remember your smile

your laugh

of twinkling bells

I remember

the way

your eyes lit up

every single time

you would talk

i remember

the nights

on the rooftop

spent stargazing

pointing out the constellations

i remember 

the feel

of your hands

in mine

i remember

the days

in the sunsets

on the beach

staying way after limits

watching

the

stars

but now

you're gone

and i never

got a chance

to say

how much

i loved you

you're gone

and i never 

got the chance

to say

how much i missed you

everything

about

you...

*coughs awkwardly*

um.

yeah im pretty proud of this one!

~themysticw0lf 

*laughs awkwardly*

here's #5- not my best but still okay. (it's late, sorry)

+`.* Here's What I Remember *.`+

everything is blurry,

faded almost, like my mind pushed the memory aside until

my heart hurt too much to ignore it and brought the

echoes to the front of my brain once more for

me to relive and revisit- parts are scratched out, 'cause

the first thing i remember is that i grew claws that night and

attacked your ghost, but you just smiled in my head, blood

like water running in rivers down my own hands where

i tried to get the feeling of your palm off mine, but

some things can never go away and this is one of them.

second, i know for sure you promised me something, what

i don't quite recall, but every part of me is screaming and aching and

i know you didn't keep your word.

the last thing i remember was that we were on a rooftop, and the skyline

was glittering, framed against the night like a picture, and i hate it, i hate

you and i hate myself for wanting to go back in time and feel your

arm around my shoulders, hate the sky for looking so pretty as you whisper in

my ear, your words flitting through my mind and the memory

cracking, strewn on the floor like broken glass as my sobs fill the

room and the walls close in, suffocating me-

"i'll always be here" you said, but

if that's true where are you now?  

I've missed quite a few days, but here we go again. I'm not sure what I think of this one...

NaPoWriMo/Escapril Day Eight: Tessellation

Tessellation was a tasty word, the girl thought, 

letting it roll around in her mouth.

The sharp letters wanted to prick her cheeks,

but the others softened it out,

leaving it crisp but not poky

like a good apple.

It melted on her tongue and she got the taste of

repetition repetition

repetition repetition

but like-

geometric.

Dazzling tastes seeped into her mouth.

They felt complete and endless at the same time.

And then she swallowed,

and it was gone.

I think I'm suffering from poet's block, because I don't like this one... at all... which is why I've procrastinated so long on posting it hah 

the ending is so.. abrupt? And weird? it like goes in a completely dfiferent direction than the rest of the poem argh XD

April 6th~ (l)onl(e)y 

here’s a secret i’m not brave enough to tell you

before there was you to make me more than nothing, i was a single adjective

and single adjectives without nouns are generally frowned upon so i 

guess you were the first person to care

but you’re not here anymore, are you, and i know the last

things you told me were one

you loved me, and you always have loved me, and you always will love me, and that will

never

change and two

you knew you’d be gone soon but that i was more than you and i needed to keep going

for me and for you

but, that’s where you were wrong, i

i wasn’t, i am not, more than you. i am just a single adjective without a noun and you

you made me more than that, but like i said

you’re gone now. but maybe you were right, because i’m more than only lonely

i’m more than just the one adjective now, so 

maybe i should keep going. 

I just don't like this one either XD I think it's the ending again

April 7th~ naked

Those eyes are like drills

boring into my soul, my mind, my entire being

They can see everything

my thoughts, my fear, my shock

Those eyes are like tunnels straight down to the void

I’m practically falling into them and I don’t think I’ll ever stop

If eyes are windows in the body our souls call home

yours are smudged and smoky because there’s nothing I can decipher in there but

Judging from the way they are staring, unblinking

mine are clear and spotless and you understand everything you’re seeing in there

This should feel wrong, but strangely I don’t mind 

maybe one day I’ll be able to wipe the ashes out and finally see you, too. 

Here's what you should know before you read this:

1. I wrote it in less than 5 minutes.

2. I did not, did not, sit on it, sleep on it, revise it, or edit it.

3. I'm practicing being concise, which I'm bad at.

4. Still suffering from poet's block XD

5. :D (no-i-don't-know-why-i-put-that-there) 

April 8th~ tessellation

a tessellation is infinite, it

goes on, and on, and on, and

every shape just fits in like it was meant to be

maybe we’re the beginning of a tessellation, maybe

i fit in next to you, just like it was meant to be

maybe we don’t have to end any time soon

and maybe we could make this last forever, maybe

we’re infinite too. 

I'm so behind on this, ahh! I'm only posting the poems I like from now on, though.

empty, except for your ghost

alone in this room

the flowery dress i'd worn the last day i saw you

is gone

my nails ragged against the years 

fan beating but

maybe it was drilled into my brain so much

that the sound is only a ghost now that

everything is gone.

gone, gone 

except for

you- 

i hold you in my hands

at least what i have preserved

we lost so much 

but i have your smile

have your words 

i saved those precious gems

with such prescision

yet i wish i'd known i'd be here,

back then

or i would have been more careful

would've held you with silken gloves.

and even memories fade!

it terrifies me

without you, would i be

completely

empty? 

(idk if this is any good but yeah) 

LIZARDS LIZARDS LIZARDS

I JUST GOT MYSELF OUT (over? around?) OF MY POET'S BLOCK 

*celebration*

Okay, so maybe I wrote something that had nothing to do with the theme because I still don't understand what a paradox is except vaguely and when I try it makes my brain hurt- but the theme was... sort of... an inspiration :) anyhoo the point is I'm ACTUALLY HAPPY WITH IT and it's not horrible and gross and the ending is actually okay yay- 

i'm overreacting aren't I HAHAHA

*silence* okay just going to put the poem in before I get any weirder because I'm just in one of those moods right now I guess...?

I'm so going to look at this comment later and just... cringe... and probably regret I posted it too XD

April 9th~ paradox

You told me you were lonely, one night last year

“But you’re with me,” I said

like the jerk I am. But you just smiled, and even though there

was something wrong with that smile, it was twisted and broken and you don’t-

you don’t smile like that- and you said

“If you can be alone but not lonely

shouldn’t you be able to be lonely but not alone?”

It took me a while to figure that one out but

I think I finally have.

It’s too late to say sorry, and even if it wasn’t you’d probably

just ask why I was apologizing.

Because you’re beautiful like that and I’m still just

not.

I’d probably say something stupid anyways but I guess I’ll apologize here,

to thin air, because it’s better than nothing

or I guess, it just feels better than nothing

I never really thought of you as the center of the universe 

but I expected you to treat me as that, as the center of everything

I never really tried to understand how you felt, because you always 

got me so well

And maybe, I thought you were too old to be lonely, even though

you were the same age as me and maybe I thought that

you were some perfect version of me and you didn’t even have problems

but we all know that everyone has problems and even though I

I always expected you to be there for me, I always knew you’d be there because

that’s just who you are, someone for me to lean on, but I never

I never really was there for you to lean on me and the one time you needed it

I disappeared.  

Day 10

some kind of poem...i'm not sure what it's called :P 

~ 

i wish i could say i'm-

sorry. sorry for all the times i made you worried 

and made you think about 

~

i'm worried about her

the way she

smiles now-

it's not the same as before

that familiar shining smile-

it's

not

there and 

her colors are gone,

like someone sucked them out of her like

lemonade

on a  

sunny day and

she doesn't

glide like she used to,

too excited

for where she's headed to walk and

i'm worried about her

she's

different now

~

xD please don't ever take me seriously

i'm so cringey