That was beautiful. I have tears streaming down my face now. This is a wonderfully powerful peice, and whoever you are, I want you to know that I am in the same boat as you. There are many other people in the world who feel this way, and I'm one of them. I keep wondering if I'm a bad person, or viewed a bad person. 

I don't know what to say, because I am the worst person at comforting, but I send a big hug and confidence your way. I know it's easy to say, but don't worry about what other peoplethink.  

I'm not going to try to change your mind, you've already addressed that, but

Whatever you do, always remember that there is someone in the world who wants you

and needs you

and likes you

and loves you

and they are right for doing it 

I know how you feel. And I can say from someone who's struggling with the same things right now. Big time. It sounds like you're not able to live up to your parent's standards, are comparing yourself to others, and feel like a useless, stupid liar who can never amount to anything. Is that right? Because that's how I feel. And then I did something really stupid. I let all my feelings out in a wrong and dangerous way, because I thought everything around me was perfect and I'm that mark, that stain who doesn't deserve anything. But it's not true. Your parents love you and support you. In moments of anger, we all say things we don't mean. I've had plenty of fights with my mom over my grades and my cluelessness. Sometimes we get angry at each other. And that's something that we do behind closed doors, right? We think we're not allowed to share anything, right? But we are all flawed, sinful beings. We all say hurtful things sometimes without truly meaning them. I've been in the exact same situation, okay? I'm not lying. Your parents love you and aren't disappointed in you. You aren't nothing. You are something. I wish I could encourage you more, but I don't have the words. Just, whatever you do, don't take it out on yourself. Don't hurt yourself. Pray to the only God who wants you to come to Him, and He will sustain you. However fall you think you're still falling, there's always tomorrow. And the scars will be a little more faded. Trust me. 

Like you

I feel

fake

Like a

fraud

I can't

stop

being 

a mistake

I feel

like the bad one

the mistake

I can't slam on the brake

I turn the key too quickly

I fall 

I keep falling

but never hit the ground

Because if I hit the ground

I don't think anyone

Would hear me

But I have made it through before

And I will again

So can you

I believe 

that you matter.

I believe 

that you are a good person

I believe

that you can do good things

Don't give up

On yourself. 

I'm not like you.

I'm a flower in a garden, not off the side of the road.

But all I want to do is help.

I think I know who you are, and I thought of Hamilton.

I know my sister like I know a favorite line.

You will never find anyone as honest or beleaguered.

if I tell her what to do I'd only multiply her grief,

One less place to turn.

She would say, "I'm fine." 

She'd be lying.

So when I talk to her, I try to see the best way out,

And every time she's more and more and more a friend,

And then I say, "forget about it."

And I jump off the cliff from where I stand to chart the map around her.

And I leave it behind.

Standing in the forest, where is she? Suddenly, I can't speak.

Lost, no path in sight, we'll have to blaze our own. 

I look around and there she is, with her back turned.

She doesn't know that I'm still here.

Bushes grow between us. I shout, but nothing comes out. 

I try to sing instead.

I hope it works. 

I hope she hears.

Maybe I'm a flower, maybe you're a weed, 

Is it my imagination, or are we the same breed?

Poppies, daisies, sunflowers, phlox, lilies, violets, hibiscus, irises, 

all grow captive, all grow wild. 

All are beautiful, no matter which kind. 

We can't choose where we are sown,

But we can choose the way we grow. 

This isn't helping.

Probably.

I'm still on the clifftop, unable to reach.

Or in the forest below, without a way to see.

This isn't my medium, I'm not in my field.

I go back to there.

I start from the beginning. 

I look. 

I see you.

I see you spinning in a circle, half-crouched, surrounded.

Blue sky, barren ground. The only places they're not.

They're throwing tennis balls at you, and it doesn't hurt much,

But there are so many and it's all you've ever known.

Your skin is always purple.

You always look down.

I shove my way into the crowd and stretch my hand towards you. 

Someone gives me a ball, but I throw it away, don't watch where it lands.

I'm nearly at the center.

I think I nearly reached you,

But the crowd keeps shifting and it's hard to keep my balance. 

I stick my arm in their way. 

I hope they hit me instead.

(At least for a while.)

You see me, I'm sure of it.

You see the ground, I know.

You see people holding tennis balls

And anything else.

There is not much else.

But you see it.

And what I ask now is do you see a way out. 

*Go listen to This Is Me by Keala Settle if you haven't already heard it.

Im sorry, I feel your pain, I really do. But the key is, you can't let them beat you down. Even if they're like, you know, actually beating you. You have to look at yourself in the mirror, and tell yourself that you are beautiful. You are smart. You are everything they think you're not. There are bad people in the world, with their own insecurities. But the sooner you get rid of yours, the sooner you can be happier. I know its easier said than done, but as soon as you kill those insecurities, the sooner you can prove them all wrong. Step outside your comfort zone. Do something amazing, something none ever thought you could do. Do what you love. Stand up for yourself. Kill those insecurities and do something amazing. Remember it is good to cry, to sing, to dance, to draw, to write, whatever releases your pain, because it gets very bad when it all builds up with no release. Trust me, I'm experienced. It will help if you cling to a light in your life. Someone who loves you for who you are, someone you trust and can be yourself around. Its ok if that's a pet, they care more then any human would. And remember, you are beautiful. You are smart. You are strong, and brave, and deserve as much love as anyone else in the world. Hold onto to the good things, improve on the bad things. Make the most of what you've been given. Love yourself. It's the only life you have. Make the most of it.