The Painter and the Butterfly 

~~~~~

You once told me that

There was

A painter and a butterfly;

The butterfly was so beautiful

that the 

Painter painted her every day;

She made colours come to life, and

He couldn't

Afford to lose her; 

So he traded her happiness for

A locked jar,

Sealing her away for him alone to see.

I wondered how the story ended,

But you said

There wasn't one, it was ongoing;

I asked if you were the painter,

But you

Only smiled, and said nothing.

~~~~~ 

Now, here I am,

watching my world crumble,

As a butterfly caught in spider's web;

Completely trusting you, even though I can see,

I beg to be wrong, only to yield shattered hopes,

As your lies are spun in an elegant design, 

So entrancingly beautiful, but oh so deadly;

Transparent, haunting, clinging to me;

And I, delicate as I am, and certainly

the doomed 

butterfly in

your little

story. 

I wrote a... song, I guess. Thoughts?

•   •   •   •   •

MOTHER

i go to church i am a tourist

bad things in the good book

they make me clueless

these words may well be in latin

could translate once but

that’s not happening 

now mother you

always loved that wedding dress

pitched off a cliff in your sunday best

and i combed the beach to find my faith

must’ve ran off to a nicer place like

late nights sleeping in the back of the car

watching soccer in the irish bar

oh mother where’d you go

my darling did you know

i hate you

the mom i love’s not one that they know

npr from dad’s car radio

hate these hands, why are they just like yours

13 at bimah loved my dress and my heart

baruch atah i dunno where you are

then i’m 14 in the front pew

swearing that i saw you

behind my brother’s eyes

why you come to his but not to mine

now mother you

always loved that wedding dress

pitched off a cliff in your sunday best

and i combed the beach to find my faith

must’ve ran off to a nicer place like

makeshift picnic in that london park

almost broke my leg playin tag in the dark

oh mother where’d you go

my darling did you know

i hate you

s’like tryna trust an empty space

if i tryna jump could you hold me in place

maybe belief’s like being blind from snow 

or your old school with the broke windows

sticky & bit in the december heat or

freezing slow in an unmarked taxi, mom

i could teach you a thing or two

about what love is supposed to do

i need some proof it ain’t just lies

but science can’t and my heart won’t try

adonai i

always loved my mitzvah dress

stepped back from the cliff in my friday best

and i combed the beach to find my faith

now i know there’s no better place than

back to back gazing up at the blue

stumbling laughter in our high heeled shoes

we're gonna make it out

cause even when i doubt

i love you 

Dreamcatcher

~~~~~

Silver rays pour though,

Past the sill, and you;

Wrapped in thin strips

Of once softened hide;

Now hardened and brittle,

From the darkness you abide;

soft feathered tassels adorning,

Of some long gone foul,

Beads of ebony and birch,

A pattern of pearls and opal;

Radial symmetry consuming

the prancing mares, silent pride of night. 

Another song! I don't know if I like this one as much as MOTHER, I think it still needs a few edits but here it is anyway :)

WLD U STAY

• • • • •

writing in the dark cause

he forgot to turn the lights on

whiteboard markers, color order

u can erase but are they rlly gone

lined paper in my lap i

tear it into strips, oh

who could love something

as tattered as this

would u move your leg

a little bit closer

pink pen, jordans, brown eyed boy

it’s all a blur

who is that there in the mirror

i touch and then she comes apart

acne, lip gloss, brand new shoes

and scuffed up heart

would u stay, yeah

would u say yeah

if i was still me from 7th grade

can’t tell if i have rlly changed

i cut my hair

i buy new clothes

leave behind my paltry woes

but if she stayed near

would u call me dear

what else is there

than u beside me during class

my binder’s full of paper but i

borrow cause i wanna ask

how could me @ 12 articulate

the shame that comes along with hope

pandora’s box carried just sins

shut seal send the envelope

would u move your leg

a little bit closer

pink pen, jordans, brown eyed boy

it’s all a blur

who is that there in the mirror

i touch and then she comes apart

acne, lip gloss, brand new shoes

and broken h— h— h— hey

would u say yeah

would u stay, yeah

would maybe u have

never walked away