Water

Trying to reach you

Like I’m trying to catch water

Like being lost in the deep blue

The shore never seeming broader

Trying to do what’s true

Sometimes I wonder

What would happen if I peeled away the walls

And jumped into the abyss within?

Could I simply just slip away in the dead of night

And escape to the arms of my beloved ocean?

Would she let me stay, hidden beneath her mighty wings?

Could I survive in the space beneath surface-shine waves 

And the thick cloak of the midnight sky? 

Could I prance about, take flight, slide beneath the twilight zone?

Would they let me? Would they accept me?

Or would they shun me as a child born of humanity?

I sometimes wish that they would take me in;

Give me wings and cloth me in briliant crepuscular plumes,

Teach me the ephemeral aubades at the crack of dawn 

And come rest with me beneath a sea of stars.

I wish and I wonder, and then wonder some more.

But then again, dreams are just that:

Something illusive meant to fade away

Once the veil of sleep is broken. 

Nevertheless, I, for one, would rather keep sleeping. 

sometimes I want to rip my heart out

and hold it up, still beating

fluorescent lighting glinting off of dark scarlet

dripping until it beads up on my throat

until I am bleeding

a ruby necklace of control

maybe then I wouldn't feel,

if I just stopped feeling for

a decade a year a month a week a second

maybe then I would heal

and I wouldn't be tempted

by riches

that only dry to copper

and beauty

born of blood

There is something bittersweet

About the film of silent powder that settles

Upon cities of tired, rugged wood every winter.

Something mournful

About petrichor and darkness settling in

As Autumn leaves are whisked by, to far away places.

Something so forlornly delicate and tragic

About the cherry and peach blossoms

Stark against a morning chill, vivid by midday.

Dew upon grass beneath an overcast sky,

Webs of glaze from frosted over windows,

The thick aroma of grain, still golden and free in the fields,

Hot, heavy night air in which millions of flecks of fire swim and swirl.

I feel compelled to linger in the desolate moments

These scenes bring.

I wish to capture and bind the images on camera,

To be baptised beneath the eery serenity and sheer silence.

I long to be reunited with the earth from which I came,

To be embraced by the vines and sky and sea.

There is always something charming,

Something that can resonate within us

When, and only if, we finally look around.