Friends~ 

“How would you describe your friends?” 

The table groaned.

a pen clicked.

The lady with blond hair neatly

pulled back

and large,

librarian glasses

watched me with the intensity of stalking cat.

I avoided her green gaze

as it

Took in every movement I made. 

“Well uh,” I stuttered

her pen clicked

she scribbled cursive words on

a paper on

a clip board,

clean and sturdy.  

“They’re my friends I’ve known them forever.” 

More scribbling.

“They mean the world to me.”

She nodded her head,

her glasses staying perfectly

in place

on her nose

on her face.

“Do you feel like you can trust them?”

How much do they know, 

was the real question,

Lurking behind her glossed lips.

“Of corse.”

We didn’t break

eye contact.

More scribbling.  

“Have you ever gotten in fights? With your friends?”

She studied me with her head tilted

just so.

“Sure.”

She scribbled.

“Everyone fights now and then. But we make up,

we hug it out.

Thats why my friends are still,

well,

my friends.”

She shook her head slightly,

as if that was not the answer

she was expecting me to say.

If it’s not because of them, then why are you so messed up? 

“What are three words you would use to describe your three closest friends.”

Her pen clicked.

Click.

Click.

“Loyal.”

she nodded.

“Always there,

always listening.

Always cares.”

Scribbling.

“Smart.”

She stopped scribbling.

“They know when to stop,

when to start,

when I need a hand.”

She nodded again.

“Amazing.”

Her eyes were

reading my mind.

“They’re the best friends,

anyone could have.

I would not be me without them.

I would never replace them with anyone.”

A timer sounded.

“We’re done for today.”

She put down the pen.

And I walked away.  

The abstract style got a lot of love on the regular poetry thread, so I'm trying it again. If anyone, not just the judge, has criticism, that would be great.

friendship is

reachingreaching

branches and ropes and inkbrushes

and fingers

outoutout

put your weight on uncertainty to

traverse refracted abysses of loneliness 

to unwrap layers of cheerily patterned skin

to open, as carefully and yet as raw as you can

your whole self

to lay yourself 

underneath the full blast of the sun on the horizon 

even the crevices and the dumps and

the traps and pitfalls deep within

the thorns and downcast eyes that used to only be your own--

it's high risk high reward, darling

to put everything on the fragile cobweb-strand of light

that they won't leave you hanging or leave you falling or leave you hurting

more than anything.

it's a two-way street more tangled than anything,

but if their eyes soften,

if unfirmilar waxiness gives way to genuine comfort

everything might brighten ever so slightly--

the world grows.

and it's walking against gravity with fire and knotted hearts all around

it's more difficult than falling

to keep reaching out

straining to keep trying,

to get up and keep reaching

to hope and pray and wish in whispers

that someone will reach back. 

I'm sort of working on a poem, but I don't have that much inspiration, so it's going to be kinda bad.

(Untitled)

I. Walking down a trail, our

Steps perfectly in time, fingers woven tight as

A blanket. A sudden shout of

Laughter melts the silence smothering the 

area. Shadows cast by the low-hanging

Sun tickle out feet.

II. Our bare toes curl under our

knees, brushing the fabric of

my bedspraed; you ask me to keep a

Secret, and I swear it on my life. You

lean in with a cupped hand, your

soul floating in midair for a moment before

it slinks into my ear.

III. The toes of our sneakers scuff up against the

concrete as we stare at each 

other's eyes. You raise your arm, your

pinkie finger outstretched. I

lift my finger too and wrap it around yours,

twisting it to cradle yours snugly. Our

lips dance as they cradle one sweet, strong word:

Forever. 

Here's mine!

and vice versa

i've known you forever now and we can always

talk about whatever we want to--you know 

me and i know you (both in a more-or-less state) i

feel so much better when i can see you; i know i feel

so much more okay around you.

forever and forever, i want to know you

forever; i don't ever want to move away from

you, because you make me feel so safe and

sound.

I wrote this a little while ago, but it fit the theme so I thought I'd enter it! It's a little long, sorry.

if i had three wishes i’d spend them all on you

—

in this basement, with the hazy lamplight barely cutting through the tight-lipped darkness,

nestled among the piles pillows and draped blankets, i see the whole world.

you. starry-eyed somebody, tilted chin and denim jackets. you and your skipped lunches, “i’m not hungry,” hands twisting in sweatshirt sleeves, defiance that flashes like fire in the bite of teeth around a broken bullet.

simple words, so easy to others— for you to even admit insecurity is monumental and i am proud. i would hug you but you’d say, what for?

i wish you’d realize

it’s okay to cry.

you. freckles and jagged tongue, squinting, sharp focus, hands tossed through hair and the rhythmic beat of a basketball on pavement.

you wear competition well. it stiffens your spine, hardens the set of your jaw, breaks in waves, slow but steady, the slam of breath through aching lungs.

headphones shriek. dying in america…

i wish you didn’t think

that wanting makes you weak.

you. golden girl, straw-spun hair and glittering rings, bitten lip and baggy sweatshirts. parceled pieces of self: dangling fingers stretched too thin.

you’re scared to be seen yet you can’t seem to detach the sunlight from your smile—

i wish you could hold his hand

without them seeing you as an extension of his arm.

you. volleyball sweatshirts, rainbow bracelets, leather boots and lanky legs. i let you doodle in my sketchbook during math class and it hits me how little i know you. tight-lipped, sad-eyed. god, how can you breathe in that closet (as if i’m one to talk).

i wish i could ask if you were okay

and get an answer.

you. gone from too good/pink/perfect to crop tops and sideways grins, to fluttering eyelashes, boys’ names doodled inside notebook covers, and daredevil promises.

and yet you’ve kept the dumb jokes and snort-laughs and stumbling incoherency, the overwhelming naivete, the wholehearted belief that people are good good good.

i wish they saw you for now-you, bright-you,

instead of the old you: frightened-you.

and oh. you. sunshine boy. blinding smiles and wheezy laughter, untied converse, army jackets. friendship bracelets, worn thin, the pinch of heartache where none should be.

you put soap in your eye so you can’t see yourself when you shower,

you wear those bulky jackets that make you so soft to hug, pad up your shoulders and your heart,

and even when you don’t mean it your smile lights up the room.

you you you—

are hurting, and i know it. and i don’t know what to do.

it doesn’t do anything to say it, i know, but if i could i would strip it all away, peel the pain from your face and the tears from your cheeks. i would give you the body that was meant to be yours, i would give you (and you and you and you) the sun and the moon and every smile on this earth, if i could,

but in the end, have nothing to give except these stumbling words

and all i can do

is hold your hand.