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Jeez, I've been
Chatterbox: Pudding's Place
Jeez, I've been
Jeez, I've been posting a lot lately. That's unusual. I normally procrastinate with literally every aspect of my life, even ones I consider to be enjoyable.
ANYWAY
Here's some really bad jokes.
Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie? 'Cause he was too far out, man!
If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted... I wish I had some ice cream.
I'm like 85% funny and 25% bad at math.
What's stucco, you ask? It's what happens when you step in bubblegummo.
What does a nut say when it sneezes? "Cashew!"
One cat says to another cat: I'm sorry if I hurt your felines, I was just kitten.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A "fsh!"
I think I want a job cleaning mirrors - It's something I could really see myself doing.
What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds!
...Yeah.
submitted by hotairballoon
(April 2, 2015 - 12:45 pm)
(April 2, 2015 - 12:45 pm)
Hahah, they're not that bad. Also, I've been wanting to ask you this. Is it okay if I refer to you as SPF sometimes? I dunno, it just sounds cooler.
(April 2, 2015 - 5:53 pm)
Sure, sure! :)
(April 6, 2015 - 8:43 am)
I love bad jokes. Great to see you again, SPF.
(April 5, 2015 - 10:58 pm)
Oh yeah?!
So the hippie walks up to the hippie hotdog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything!"
*rimshot*
And then he gets the hot dog and says, "Where's my change?"
And the hotdog vendor says, "Change should come from within!"
*rimshot* Huh? Huh?
No?
Alright, so envision this: the Pikachu walks up to the hot dog vendor and eats his ketchup. And the hot dog vendor says, "Whatcha do that for?" and the Pikachu says, "Pikachu!"
*rimshot*
Still nothing? Wow, tough crowd. What's more funny than a Pikachu eating ketchup? *sighs* Fruity, maybe I should give up my dream of being a stand-up comedian...
Fruity: Wkee!
Somebody: Does that mean I should give it a week? Yeah, maybe. That Pikachu one was funny.
(April 6, 2015 - 12:27 am)
Hehe, those actually were funny :P
I didn't get the Pikachu one though...
(April 6, 2015 - 11:20 am)
It's just funny to think about a Pikachu eating ketchup.
Also...
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
Have you seen my TARDIS?
*looks around room and sees TARDIS* Um, no...
(April 8, 2015 - 1:32 am)
Awesome jokes! LOL!
(April 6, 2015 - 8:50 pm)
So the past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
Doctor, lately I've been feeling like a teepee and a wigwam. What's up?
You're too tense.
(April 8, 2015 - 12:45 pm)
Kid 1: Quick! Grab some napkins!
Kid 2: Yay! Souveneirs! We will always remember the trip.
Teacher: Now tell me: Where is Harlem located?
Kid: *with great certainty* CHICAGO!
Teacher: Umm...
(April 9, 2015 - 12:23 pm)
Is hotairballoon the one we called SomeonePlusFour?
(April 10, 2015 - 7:56 pm)
Yes.
I like this name better, though.
(April 17, 2015 - 12:39 pm)
Thanks! I was wondering where you had gone.
(April 18, 2015 - 6:30 am)
Okay, here's mine!:
So three friends rented a room at a hotel. It was a very large hotel; it had freaking 1,000 stories. Anyway, they got a room on the 600th floor. But the elevator was out, so they had to walk up the stairs. They agreed that they would take turns telling stories every 200 floors. The first person would tell a funny story, the second person would tell a funny story, and the third person would tell a sad story.
Finally, the last person's turn came. He said, "Okay, here's my sad story: I left the keys in the lobby."
Get it? Get it?! Here's another (With apologies to Mr. Dwarf):
You: That joke was really cheesy.
Me: Well, you better get some nachos, and don't worry, they're not crummy!
*Rimshot*
Get it? Crummy?
St.Owl, your story had me huffing and puffing, then laughing out loud!
Admin
(April 18, 2015 - 10:10 am)