So, here's this

Chatterbox: Pudding's Place

So, here's this

So, here's this silly little poem I came up with while shopping for batteries at IKEA. Best spoken in a robot voice.

Take a risk

With ALKALISK.

Batteries

Don't have antifreeze.

So if it's cold

And your batteries are old

ALKALISK might explode

And your face will corrode

So yeah.

submitted by Sum Dum Gai , age Did anyone, read Adventure! ?
(October 8, 2014 - 7:15 pm)

back to the Pudding's Place

I need to work on the rhythm. And "So yeah"  is not actually part of the poem. It might look like it, but it's not. Maybe I should have put the poem part in italics or something.

Also,  I forgot to put a comma after "old". I'm trying to decide whether to put a comma after "cold" as well. I guess it just depends on whether I want "And your batteries are old" to be sort of an aside comment, separate from the rest of the sentence. And I forgot to put a period after the last word. Oops.

Comments, anyone? 

submitted by TOP, Sum Dum Gai
(October 12, 2014 - 3:10 pm)