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Chatterbox: Pudding's Place
Dear Members of
Dear Members of the Chatterbox,
I think we should start a ski lodge murder mystery game. The rules are listed below:
-First of all, it is not supposed to be gory or scary. It is supposed to appropriate and humorous.
-You play as yourself. The premise is: You are invited to a ski lodge for however many days. You go and have fun but then people start dying mysteriously. You need to figure out who the culprit is.
-The murderer is one of you who join the game but you won't know who it is. I will.
-One person dies a day.
-Strange things happen in the ski lodge. Logic doesn't nessecarily apply here, as you will soon see.
-Every day, I will post (probably in the morning) the day's events. Read, enjoy, speculate, and if you like, write the day from your point of view or something you think happened. The sillier the better.
-You die randomly. I pull your name out of a Sugarbowl. By the way, Gollum, remember last year when I lost your name in my lunchbox? I found it two days ago on my art easel in the garage. I have absolutely no idea how it got there.
-The game shall start on July 7. I know it's Camp NaNo, but it shouldn't take you guys too long to check every day and a short conversation or something if you feel like it.
-I don't know when it will end, that depends on how many people want to play.
-This is the same kind of thing that happened last year in October. Hopefully, I don't have nightmares for three months straight this time.
-Please, please join. Just say "I want to join" to join.
And that's all. If you have any questions, please don't be afraid to ask.
Sincerely,
The Omnipotent Narrator
submitted by T.O.N.
(June 18, 2013 - 12:49 pm)
(June 18, 2013 - 12:49 pm)
It's the subject matter, I guess. Though obviously, Frollo was a villain.
I don't know; I don't think it's that bad. But I can see where she's coming from, at least.
As for funeral songs... How about "Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" from Les Mis? That works whether the souls are actually at rest or not.
(July 11, 2013 - 11:45 am)
Day 5
Another tragic accident has struck. Alas, our dear beloved ~Blue Fairy~ was brought down and will only now fly on in our memories. The accident occured during the morning skiing.
Blue Fairy and one other person decided to try a new ski slope. "Blue Fairy, I'm a little scared. maybe you could go down first?" her partner asked. "Sure, I'll go on ahead," Blue Fairy replied, thinking nothing of it. She sailed down the slope but suddenly shrieked as her skiis skidded over ice. Suddenly, the ice gave way, plunging her into a deep frozen well! Too late, she remembered that they had been warned about this slope. Why had her skiing partner told her it was safe? Blue Fairy never reached the surface of the pond.
Strangely, no one could remember who they were skiing with that day and who had gone off with Blue Fairy.
Melody was inconsolable.
Ima (patting her back): Oh, Melody, it will be all right. I'm sure ~Blue Fairy~ is in a beautiful place now.
Teresa: It was just her time to move on, that's all.
Melody: She owed me twenty dollars! Waaaahhhhh!
Miki: I'll make you a hot chocolate.
In other (not so sad) news, the jobs system had to be changed. BHR is now in charge of breakfast, and Gollum is now in charge of vacuuming.
Jem Louise Margaret was cutting a watermelon today (for Blue Fairy's wake) when the knife slipped and she accidently stabbed herself. And Daffodil had to finish cutting the watermelon.
During the wake...
Red: Come on Melody, it will be okay. Your sister will come back as a ghost any day now.
BHR: Yes, and I'm sure she'll annoy you just as much as she did before.
Theo: Why don't you sing a song? That will cheer you up!
Gollum: THEO!
Red: Run, Theo, run!
Ima: You should do "Hellfire"! There's nothing like singing in Latin to honor your dead sister! (Wait, is it Latin or French, anyone who knows?)
Melody: You're right. The time has come to let Blue Fairy go and move on myself. This song is for you, Blue Fairy!
You shall be missed, Blue Fairy. Rest in peace.
Wow. This is completely random, but I had world's best music playing throughout this whole thing. I was playing Chrono Trigger music and the whole thing was so completely appropriate! Right after "Sure, I'll go on ahead" this really dark boss battle music played, then there was this time traveling music (which always reminds me of the "light in the tunnel" kind of thing) and then this really sad music, and then some festival music for the wake and when Melody said "This song is for you!" the ending credits (which were apparently designed for a loved one of the composer) started playing... Yeah. It just worked really well. Sorry. I just had to share that.
(July 11, 2013 - 10:56 am)
@T.O.N.
It's Latin. It's supposed to be chanting, like from a church service.
@Ima
Empty Chairs at Empty Tables is so sad!:(
@Blu
Please start a new Ghost's Club. Try to get Elvis to come back! Also, could you get Annette Funicello and Walt Disney to join? And possibly Mary Blair? Thanks, love.
(July 11, 2013 - 3:47 pm)
Day 6
Today's ski lodge murder mystey is sponsered by Salterton Space Soda "Delicious soda for space".
Sadly, our most precious Chatterboxer, Gollum, passed away today. She and one other person decided to not go skiing today, but rather take a trip to a nearby volcano. The volcano was very interesting and Gollum was able to take a much closer look at the inside of it once she felt the hands at her back pushing her in.
However, no one can remember who suggested the volcano trip and who went with Gollum. In fact, only a couple of people said they remembered hearing about the trip.
Respecting her wishes, Gollum was frozen in a cryogenic ice chamber (not the freezer, of course not. *shifty eyes*) with much aplomb and "The Neglected Garden" from Melody because it is a very pretty song and before you say "The Secret World of Arrietty isn't a Disney movie!" Walt Disney Pictures released it in the US (and the words to "The Neglected Garden" are all in English!).
In other news, the doorbell rang today and Daffodil, our interesting Doorman, rushed to answer it. Ba-da-dum! These fine upstanding young people are Assasins R Us, a completely proffesional team of assasins. The team members are Agent Alpacachan, the chipper muscles of the team, and Agent E.W., the boy who handles the paperwork and offcial business. The team formulated in February and still have not completed their first mission, although they have accomplished two other missions, and killed Jem Louise Margaret a few times (not too hard, considering).
Agent Alpacachan: We're not selling anything, but we were in the neighborhood and wondered if you'd be interested in-
*slam!*
"No! Wait! You're missing the oppurtunity of a lifetime! Right now, we have a "pay for one assasination, get the next one free" deal!"
Daffodil: Well, I suppose there's always a certain Stickfiddler...
"We also have free samples of Salterton Space Soda! Delicious soda for space!"
Daffodil opens the door, tempted by the delicious soda!
Daffodil: It tastes like a supernova of flavor in my mouth!
Miki: Is it my cue?
Agent Alpacachan: Yes, hurry up!
Miki and BHR pop out from behind the door.
Miki: You know when you get so thirsty, you feel like a black hole? Salterton space Soda can quench even those thirsts!
BHR: Buy it at your local space mart today!
Director: Anddd... cut!
BHR: Did we do it well?
Agent E.W.: Yes, here's your money. Now go! Go on, shoo!
Theo W.: How come you guys got to be in a commercial and all I got was to clean the bathrooms? No fair!
Before leaving, Agent Alpacachan engages in her favorite pastime, stabbing Jem Louise Margaret.
Ima: Oh, look the mail came! Melody, there's something from your mom.
Melody: [reads outloud] Hi, girls! I hope you're having a fantastic time! Don't get frostbite and come back safe! Those hospital bills are expensive. Blue, you left your teddy bear. Would you like me to send him to you?
Blue Fairy's Ghost: Mom! That's private!
Teresa: Oh don't worry, I'm sure a lot of us have stuffed animals still. I do. And I have my marionettes. Would anyone like me to put on a show tomorrow?
Ima: Sure!
Red: Oh, goody, the proprietress sent something as well. Let's see, *ahem* I hope everything is going all right! I ran into a couple of curmudgenous dwarves and they warned me that there be a giant carnivorous rabbit going around the mountains, so be careful! Watch out for ferrets and always remember, "As the duck with his eyelids, so he with his nose, trims his belt and his buttons and turns out his toes."
Theo: Oh, that's just great. Now we have to look out for giant rabbits as well! Some vacation this is turning out to be!
BHR: theo, I really don;t think you need to worry about giant rabbits. Honestly.
Well, you know what they say, "Never trust a bunny, Boss." -Twitchy from Hoodwinked
Rest in peace, Gollum. Rest in peace.
(July 12, 2013 - 11:57 am)
Blue Fairy's teddy bear is a girl.
(July 12, 2013 - 4:09 pm)
I'm sorry.
(July 12, 2013 - 6:45 pm)
I've never laughed so hard. And I still have what I call, "my fluffies." Btw, I like SPAM! It's great in hash!
(July 12, 2013 - 8:13 pm)
I still have stuffed animals too and I still take them out sometimes and talk to them (usually about weird stuff). I have a bunch of Pokemon, that's kind of cool. Sometimes we have battles with Ru-kun's Pokemon (I'm not embarrassed to admit this!)
As for the SPAM... Eggs and bacon, egg sausage and bacon, egg and spam, egg bacon and spam, egg bacon sausage and spam, spam bacon sausage and spam, spam egg spam spam bacon and spam, spam sausage spam spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam, spam spam spam egg and spam, spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam and spam. That's all I have to say.
(July 12, 2013 - 11:53 pm)
Amen.
(July 14, 2013 - 12:10 pm)
Day 7
The clock on the bedroom wall read 12:31. Teresa opened her eyes wearily. Something had woken her. Melody? She looked over at Melody's bed. No, Melody was sound asleep. Teresa looked to the other side of the bed and gasped. "Hello Teresa," said the person with the knife. It was the last thing Teresa would ever hear.
The clock on the bedroom wall read 7:45. Melody yawned and streched as she woke up. Was Teresa awake already? She turned to see her roomate's bed- and screamed. Teresa would never wake up.
The clock on the bedroom wall read 7:47. All the ski lodge members, most still in pajamas, had crowded into Melody's room. Melody was sobbing, shocked by seeing her dead roommate. The others were shocked as well. Teresa was so-so-so nice! Who would do such a thing?
The clock on the bedroom wall watched the whole thing. It knew. But whatever secrets it had, it wasn't telling anyone.
Theo: She was going to do a puppet show for us.
Ima: Is there someone here really against puppets? (Note: I am very much against puppets, but this was completely a coincidence. Although I'm sure you won't believe me.)
Miki: Hey, Melody, you're her roommate. Shouldn''t you have noticed if anyone came in?
Melody: I was asleep the whole night. I didn't hear anything.
Red: "I'll be sharing a room with Melody," she said. "What could go wrong?" she said.
Melody: She never said, "What could go wrong?".
Daffodil: Who could have done such a thing?
BHR: Whose room is right across from Melody's room? If they were right across from that room, they could sneak across the hall without walking in front of anyone else's door and waking them up.
Theo: It was the doctor, but now no one sleeps in there.
The doctor's ghost: I'm innocent! Ghosts can't kill people!
The death of Teresa is still a mystery. She shall be greatly missed by all of us Chatterboxers. In other news, Jem Louise Margaret has sadly succumbed to a knife once again. It seems that she caught the murderer in the act of cleaning the knife and the murderer decided it would be easier to stab the girl instead of explaining awkwardly ("Uh, this? You see, I like to take long walks in the moonlight with knives, you know. It's a great cure for insomnia! You want to try? Speaking of that, what are you doing up?"). Apparently, this murderer is not quite a rhetoric.
In the mail today, there was a package for Red. Inside was a cupcake with the letters "EAT ME" written on it in frosting. The package came from someone named "Your Secret Admirer".
Daffodil: If you eat it, will you grow really tall?
Red: Heh-heh- um... I think I'm already tall enough...
Theo: Come on, Red, be a man and eat it!
Melody: Let's get down to business! To defeat... the cupcake. Did they send me someone who is slow on the uptake? You're the saddest boy I've ever met but you can bet before we're through, Mister, I'll make a man out of you.
Ima: Run while you can, Red!
Rest in peace, Teresa. Rest in peace.
(July 13, 2013 - 10:43 am)
I think I should somehow adapt "There's a Party Here in Agrabah" to fit the ski lodge.
(July 13, 2013 - 3:06 pm)
Gollum (being the tale, as it were, from the point of view of a ghost):
Gollum: Am I really that stupid to just go up to a volcano with some murderous Chatterboxer? Wait, there are murderous Chatterboxers? Why didn't the Admin notice this?
Teresa: Well, at least your death was mildly interesting, I was stabbed!
Gollum: I think I might have actually survived the lava if it weren't two hundred feet down.
Blue Fairy: Being caught in an avalanche of books is painful!
Gollum: I definitely could have survived that.
Blue Fairy sticks her tongue out at Gollum.
Blue Fairy: I miss my teddy bear.
Teresa: Oh, your mom wrote a letter to a ski lodge the other day asking if she should forward it along.
Gollum: How tragic. You know, you would have thunk that the cryogenic freezing could have kind of counteracted the melting lava, like when they pack you in ice after you get heatstroke, ya?
Teresa: Except your skin was all melted. It was gross.
Gollum: Thanks for sharing.
Blue Fairy: Who do you think is this evil killer?
Teresa: It was Cloony the Scorge!
Gollum: You read that book too?
Teresa: No.
Blue Fairy: I think it's a boy. It was a boy last time.
Gollum: The book? Matthias is a boy. But Cornflower is not. I'm confused.
Teresa: No, the evil villainous villain.
Gollum: You sound like Lemony Snickett.
Blue Fairy: That one hit my pinky toe. It hurt!
Gollum: And it was the final death blow, I'm sure.
Blue Fairy: You never know. *pouts* I have very sensitive pinky toes.
Teresa: Don't we all?
(July 13, 2013 - 3:56 pm)
Very amusing. Except for two things.
1. The doctor died when a bookshelf fell on him. Blue Fairy drowned.
2. On my very first post here, I signed it as Cluny the Scourge. Are you suggesting that I am the murderer, Miss Gollum? I am very offended and will now go sit in the corner.
Oh, and Snicket has one t. But that's all.
(July 13, 2013 - 8:33 pm)
Very helpful. Except for one thing.
1. The exception was three things.
Other than that, insert doctor where Blue Fairy is written, yadayadayada. Also, I seem to unwillingly have a conspiracy against you in these things, because last time I did the whole "Interesting" thing. I don't suspect you again. I was thinking it was me for a while, but then I was kind of melted. It might be you. Probably not, though.
(July 14, 2013 - 7:47 pm)
~Blue Fairy~ didn't drown, she got hypothermia! (Sorry, I'm sort of obsessed with this kind of thing.
(July 19, 2013 - 7:17 pm)