#relatable 

I see a muddy flag with blood stains covering it. The screams and battle cries of those around me are overwhelming. One by one, soldiers drop at my feet. I keep slashing my sword, and death is drawn out by my hands. Suddenly I stop. 

I look down at my hands, my sword dropping as my knees follow. Death. I finally learn what death really means. 

Death means taking the life- no, stealing, ripping- the life from someone else. It means thinking that life is expendable. That life could have helped other lives, could have been the root of other lives, and within a flash of a missing heartbeat, it's gone. With the flash of a shiny but blood matted sword, it's gone.  

I can't count the countless lives I've taken. No. Stolen. All out of hate, never out of anything else. Anyone can polish war or death to be something that it's not. At the end, any candy coated, glossy thing is traced back to the ugly truth and the true root of hate. But I feel like hate and no emotion can be the same. At one point, no emotion is controlled by the burning hate for emotion. All my life, I was taught to kill without emotion. It was out of fear for feelings, and fear ultimately traces back to hate.

Without realising it, hot tears trace down my cheeks. I wipe them away. Crying is a weakness. Crying is an emotion. But are emotions okay? They have to be, right? 

But for the first time, I feel a real emotion.

Loneliness.

Loneliness. The word stings in my head. I'm alone and have nowhere to run, no one to turn to. I left everything behind and started a new life. My only family that I ever had, Shadow, is gone. And now my fellow Resistance members can't remember me. The feeling of loneliness is so strong that is causes the tears to fall faster. I realise why I feel loneliness so much. I've never been happy.

Purging emotion may be good for tough decisions such as killing, but it also purges any happiness, joy, warm memories. I need to have emotion again. 

To feel again.

And not just sadness or anger. I need happiness, I need to allow myself to be complex in emotion like everyone else is. But I still feel so lonely. I can't even hear the battle around me. Everything seems to be moving slower, and I continue to stare at the tussled brown earth that has ripped fabric and the ashes left from explosions mixed in with it. I need to leave this place, before I drive something else besides an enemy to kill me. 

I slowly stand up, every muscle in my body shaking. I drag my sword, heavier than before, along the dirt as I take lingering steps forward. The chilly wind blows the hair out of my face, once again reminding me that I'm not the same person I once was.

I see a horse, a horse that has a dark brown coat that has obviously experienced battle, standing next to a small, blown apart tent. All seems to have forgotten about this war horse. He stands there, looking around, confusion clouding his dark and stormy eyes. I walk up to him and lay my hands on his muzzle, letting him sniff my hand before stroking his mane. 

"You and me both..." I look at his tag on his engraved horse chest plate. "Stormpal."

I gently put my sword in the sheath strapped to his flank, and leap onto him. I grab a fistful of his reigns and kick at his sides, making sure that he takes off. And he does. He has a lot of fire left in him. I wonder what happened to his original rider. 

I head off out of the trees and into the clearing. Ahead of me are trees, but not as thick. The trees are skinnier and it makes it easier to see everything around me. I don't know where to go. I don't have a home. The Bog and Burrow Inn is destroyed. I can't go anywhere I've been before, because I'll see WANTED posters everywhere. 

Then I remember Mina and Shadow. How, when we had free time, we would sit around the fire at he base and talk often. Well, they did most of the talking. I liked listening to them. They were so close. They liked the story of how they first met at the Taft Tavern, and oh how they would laugh about it, their laughter ringing in the otherwise serious air. 

The Taft Tavern. The only memory, the only place I have left, to possibly start over. I head north, knowing it's snowing around that area right now, and let Stormpal take me where I need to go. After more thoughts and hours of riding, I finally drift off.

~~~~

When I awaken, it's snowing. But it's snowing lightly, and I see sparkling village lights in the distance, giving off a twinkle to let travelers know they have a place to rest.

I let Stormpal canter and then eventually trot then walk the rest of the way there, as his breathing starts to slow and his energy starts to gain. I squint my eyes. The snow isn't that bad, but I still need to be able to see where everything is. It's already dark, and only the lights are my guide.

I feel and hear cobblestone under Stormpal's feet and realise that we've entered the village. There are scarcely any people out, so there will be no questions towards us. But upon walking a few minutes through the village, I hear the sound of faint music and hearty laughter. I stop Stormpal and jump off of him, walking to the front and leading him with the reigns. The noises become louder and soon seem to be flowing from one source. It's the size of a larger house, but not by much. And beside it is a faded but legible sign reading,

The Taft Tavern

Vacancy! 

I put Stormpal in the stables nearby and pay the attendant a coin I found in Stormpal's pouch before heading back to the entrance of the Tavern. I take a deep breath and push the wooden door open, and it creaks in response.

As soon as I enter, warmth madly seeps into my skin, as if I've never felt it before. All is silent for a moment before the brawling, chatting, music, and shouting stirrs up again. I go up to the front counter and look at the man.

"One table please, preferably by the fire?"

First objective. Food.

"One coin."

I take one out of the pouch that I took off Stormpal and hand it to him. He takes it with a gruff hand, and points his finger at the closest table to the fireplace.

I nod in a half thank you and walk to the table, slumping down in the chair.

"Hello dearie, can I take your order?" a waitress asks as she walks up to me, a kind expression on her face.

Before I can open my mouth, I notice the front door to the Tavern swings open again.

And in steps Shadow.

For a moment, I can't breathe. I thought I had lost everything, including her. Tears well up in my eyes, tears of happiness. Pure happiness.

I slowly get up while the waitress looks at me confused and calls for me again as I start heading over to Shadow.

She nods at the man at the counter as he points in my direction. She smiles and looks that way, only then catching my eye.

Our eyes meet, and there is a flicker of recognition. Her same warm brown eyes are there. That's Shadow.

I run up to her, ignoring all my muscles and wounds screaming in pain. My heart is screaming in joy, drowning out anything else.

I leap into her arms, and for a moment she's confused. But slowly and steadily, she starts to realise who I am. She strokes my head, and embraces me back. She knows me.

But that doesn't matter. She's back.

And that's enough.  

Confetti angel time!