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Behind me

~~~

All of my memories. They're swirling in a nova. Swirling in a black hole behind me. A hole that steals all of your calm and makes you feel so many horrible emotions. About your past. About what's happened. About what you've felt, and what you will feel in the future.

Behind me.

Behind me now, shoved away oh so painfully in the past. Where all a girl's problems are is a fox, the treachery of B.I.G, and so much more.

Behind me.

Lately, the backtrack to whatever I do is bowstrings twanging after fingers release them with a finality to the movement. The clashing of steel, sword against sword, more deadly than any cymbal's noise. And the sound--the sound of my heartbeat, deep and fast, the backtrack to my terrified movements and rebellion, the beat to the music of war, and the dance I perform--running, avoiding death, fighting back bit by bit--could be halted at any moment. I know that when the beat stops, it'll be the last thing I ever hear, and then I'll be swept away on Shadow's wings. But when the battles are over, they can never go behind me.

They stay.

Their twisted intentions stay, with the horrified screams of a nation under heat and war. In the end, it'll be behind me, but now is now, and every horror that I've witnessed that should be locked away stay in front of me, while the happiness of the past darts away from my grip, forever behind me.

Forever.

What does that word mean? It's always tossed about, but in the end, they say it with a finality unfitting of a word that they toss around freely. Forever. It means that something is bound a certain way, forever. Locked a certain way, forever.

Forever doesn't exist.

Now I'm nearly to the present. But it's not here yet. So I'll relay to you what I did. It wasn't a crime, but it was bold, and dangerous.

I had a talk with Ecio. A long talk. A talk involving future and past. And I made a plan with the Powers. They talked of freeing Ayearth. I decided it was time to find the remaining Powers. And I wouldn't be going alone.

I packed so many Resistance items with me, and informed my friends that I was going on a mission. I'm almost sure our paths will cross while I search for Sylvia and Lunee. But who knows?

Then, I dragged one along with me. One who had stayed at our base since we rescued her from fire, the fire and ash and smoke of a burning flower.

Yes. I dragged the Oracle along.

Something tells me that this will be dangerous. But I thought I had left all of the common sense of my past behind me.