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I have sort of an odd question.
One of my various ongoing writing projects involves a fairly young character experiencing a crush/infatuation for the first time and I'm attempting to describe it from her point of view.
Only...
I've never actually had a crush beyond sentiments of "I'd like to lock them in my basement and make them sing for me", so... I don't actually know what they feel like. And the Internet has been infuriatingly unhelpful in this regard, and the best my roommate could offer was warm fuzzy happy feelings when they look at you, which doesn't help very much.
So I turn to you, dear fellow CBers who (a) pursue writing projects and (b) have actually experienced infatuation.
SO!
Have you had a crush and if so, what did it feel like? Emotional detail is good, so is anonymity if you so choose.
Pretty please? *bambi eyes*
I think ''warm fuzzy happy feelings when he looks at you" is pretty accurate. Maybe add "butterflies in the stomach." Shortness of breath, blushing when you see the person. Unable to put together a coherent sentence to speak to him. Looking deep into his eyes. Thinking about him much of the time, especially in quiet moments like lying in bed trying to fall asleep at night. Fantasizing about time together.
Hope this helps.
submitted by TNÖ, age 18, Deep Space
(December 3, 2011 - 5:41 am)
(December 3, 2011 - 5:41 am)
See, that's happened to me before, but I thought it was just because the person in queston always seemed to be turning up in the most random, unexpected places.
(December 5, 2011 - 10:23 pm)
The Admin described it pretty well. Not that I would know or anything. Umm....
(December 5, 2011 - 5:40 pm)
Bad, horrible, awful experience with crushes recently...
Anyways, feelings:
Butterflies are like little sparks of excitement and exhileration that are usually either in your chest or pit of your stomach. Sometimes (like if your crush notices you or is sweet or nice or flirty or whatevs) they seem to flare up and just consume you and you feel like melting into a happy puddle of goo. (Wow, that's just awfully cliche, but true!) I laugh a lot when if I'm around them or talking about them, and I blush (which I almost never do otherwise). It's exhilarating for sure, but, in hindsight, it's quite sad that the majority of your happiness rests on one person. A color I associate with crushes (when things go well and they seem to like you) is gold. Everything just seems golden and happy and lovely. You just have that wonderful, skippy, wish-you-lived-in-a-musical-so-you-could-break-out-into-random-song-kind-of-feeling. You daydream a lot and think about them all the time and make up "What if..." scenarios (both good and bad). Just thinking about them can give you butterflies, and you can't wait to see them next.
Hope that helps a little! (:
(December 6, 2011 - 12:35 am)
@ TNO
I didn't know people actually wanted to lock other people in their basement and make them sing for them. Did you quote that from somewhere or make it up?
(December 6, 2011 - 4:35 pm)
It was mostly a jab at the Phantom, actually. And somewhat of an exaggeration in regards to my slight fixations on certain people's voices (lots of them. If they sing in a musical produced after the late fifties and have an interesting or distinct vocal style and/or a pretty voice, chances are they are on that list somewhere. Which, as I mentioned, is not so much a list of vocal crushes as it is a list of people I enjoy listening too and will occasionally squee over if they do something particularly fantastic. /endrant). Given the chance I wouldn't actually chain, say, Roger Bart up in my basement and make him sing for me.
(December 6, 2011 - 6:24 pm)
OK- you're 18 and you've never had a crush. Lucky bugger.
So, I have had a crush that has lasted for over two years now.
This is what it feels like.
Whenever you're around the person, you feel tongue-tied and awkward. You suddenly don't know where to put your hands. You hang on to their every word and study their appearance intently.
You don't see the faults in them, only the good stuff.
You daydream about going with them, about them kissing you and telling you that he loves you, about (if you're insane like me) maybe even getting married.
If you're creepy like me, you stalk them. Online is best.
It's absolutely heartbreaking. You experience mood swings and find yourself depressed. Believe me. I know. Crushes are pretty much awful things, but lucky for you, they don't generally last as long as mine did.
Does that help?
(December 7, 2011 - 7:12 pm)
Re: me being 18 and never having had a crush: I'm ace and completely aromantic. Suffice it to say that I find the idea of dating, romance, kissing, hugging, marriage, etc. a bit... foreign. It... cuts out a lot of drama, from what I can tell (though there was, and still is, some parental drama with mother as a result of my coming out. Blargh).
Re: crushes themselves: Yes, that's very helpful. :D Though... sympathy? Because crushes... do not sound fun. At all.
(December 7, 2011 - 8:48 pm)
Well, first of all, I've never had a crush, so I can't describe it. It all seems a bit foreign to me, too, but I'm also only 13, so I'm not drawing any conclusions right now. Everything I know about romance comes from books, though, and often, I don't understand those (I never could figure out why Ron and Hermione seemed to hate each other, but Harry was acting like they were attracted to each other. I thought he was being even stupider than they were. Then I read book 7. I was shocked. I was only 10, but I still wouldn't understand it if I hadn't read more books and deliberately analyzed the social bits I didn't get.
But if you want a scientific analysis of what crushes feel like, if that would help at all, I recommend the children's book Emma-Jean Lazarus Fell in Love. It's about a seventh grade girl who scientifically analyzes everything, like I do (Actually, the only major differences between us are that she's much more organized and serious and formal and less emotionally related; it's kind of amazing). Anyway, she gets a crush, so she tries to figure out what it means and how to react. Her responses aren't normal, but there's her friend if you're looking for that. Anyway, it helped me understand better because A) She's so specific/eloquent B) She's rational enough to know when her feelings are irrational and C) We have so much in common, although that one probably only applies to me (Most reviewers have a hard time relating to her).
(December 14, 2011 - 2:47 pm)