Writing SI! 

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Writing SI! 

Writing SI!

 

So, this isn't the same as your normal SI. Here you post a story snippet (that you JUST wrote) under a different name and people try to guess you. You can post more than once after someone has guessed you! Ready, set... WRITE! 

submitted by Elizabeth M., age 11, Germany: 10 Day
(May 14, 2011 - 10:21 am)

Yeah.  I thought you might be trying to throw me off. :)  Amy G. was my next guess, too.

submitted by Oregano, age 13, wantingtodoNaNoWriMo
(June 2, 2011 - 2:00 pm)

Nope! (I'll assume you were guessing that I was Amy G.)

Spammy/APC/Mimi says brad. Brad? Is that your name? I shall now christen you as Brad. :P 

submitted by Carlie
(June 2, 2011 - 4:02 pm)

I think Oregano just blew her cover as Hortense. :)

 

 

 

"NOO!" I screamed.  I dashed back to where Buren lay, unmoving.

 

"I'LL KILL YOU!"  I screamed at the men as they closed in.  "YOU'LL PAY!"

 

Buren did not move.

 

"Come then, little girl," said a man.  "You must trust us.  We will help you.  We are your friends."

 

"NO!"  I kicked at him.

 

"Don't fight your friends, little girl."

 

"You lie!  You killed him!"

 

"He was your enemy.  We are your friends."  The voice was bland, insidious, hypnotizing.

 

"No!"  I had to fight.  I punched him in the stomach.  He stood the blow and held my arms.

 

"Little girl, you are hysterical.  Your father would not be proud of you, going off with this boy Buren.  Nor your mother.  They were the good people, you know."

 

"NO!  They were wrong!  He showed me what was right!"

 

"You are mistaken, little girl.  Now then.  Dorinev!"  A second man walked over.  "Now."

 

Dorinev placed his hands against my head.  "Relax, little girl," he said.  "It will not hurt so much."

 

I fought both of them, kicking, screaming.  No!

 

Then a searing, burning, destroying pain flooded my mind.  No!  I must not give in.  I won't let them! NO!

 

Then, blackness.

 

I awoke with a start.  White.  That was my first sensation, white.  I realized it was a ceiling.   I looked around.  There was more white.

 

I sat up.  I was in a bed, a hospital bed.  How did I know it was a hospital bed?  That's right.  I had a vague memory of having my tonsils out.  And Mom and Dad dropped me off here.  All right.  So I must have been in my own room then, after the operation.  Mom and Dad would come soon.  My mouth hurt.

 

A door opened.  Two people came in - a man and a woman.  They smiled at me.  "Hello," they said.  "How are you doing?"

 

"I'm fine," I said.  That was right, that was Mom and Dad.  "Are we going home soon?"

 

"Soon," they said.  They smiled again.

 

"Can I get up now?" I asked.

 

"No," they said.  "The nurses say you must stay here for a few days."

 

"I'm hungry," I said.

 

Mom went to the door and beckoned.  A smiling woman came in with a tray of green mush, tan mush, and a brown and green block.  She handed me a spoon and a glass of water, then left.

 

"Eat," said Dad.  "Guacamole, banana, and mint chocolate ice cream."

 

Oh good.  I forgot I loved those things.

 

Everything seems strange now.  It feels right,  but sometimes, sometimes I'll be doing something and it will feel wrong.  Not completely wrong, just a nagging feeling.

 

I was talking with my parents when they asked me, "So what do you want to do when we take you home?"

 

"The usual," I said.

 

"Okay," they said, but they exchanged glances.  They looked puzzled.  They're supposed to know, aren't they?

 

I fell asleep and dreamt.  I dreamt of a boy lying on the ground.  His name was Buren.  "No!" I tried to scream, but no sound came out.  When I woke up in the morning, I had forgotten it completely.

 

 

 

Hmmm, this might make a good start of a novel!  I think I'll continue this later!

submitted by Marionette
(June 3, 2011 - 9:26 am)

Marionette is... Elizabeth M.? (Is it all right if I go by my SI name?)

submitted by Carlie
(June 3, 2011 - 4:00 pm)

Nope.  Are you Lizzy?  Or... nah, one guess at a time. :)

submitted by Marionette
(June 3, 2011 - 5:28 pm)

Spam box wants me to be a poet.  I'll try, Spam Box, OK?

 

 

I went home a few days after that.  I woke up in the middle of the night; I felt uncomfortable somehow.  The room was familiar - no - yes - I didn't know.  It was my room.  Of course it was familiar.

 

I was thirsty.  I thought I'd go downstairs for a drink of water.

 

I paused on the stairs.  A light was on downstairs, in the kitchen.  Mom and Dad were up late.  They were talking.  I strained to hear.

 

"--almost suspicious," Mom was saying.

 

"How could she be?" said Dad.  "The brainwashing was complete."

 

"Maybe," said Mom.  "They said... Oh, Molen, the... the government called today.  While you were out.  They said to be careful of her."

 

"What?  Why?"

 

"Molen, don't raise your voice... you'll wake her up, she'll hear.  They said because she was so doubtful... it was normal for her... she might have been subconsciously resisting the brainwashing, that maybe if something subconsciously reminded her, stimulated her memories... she might relapse.  Just think if she knew, we aren't her parents?"

 

There was a loud, gusty sigh.

 

"Molen.  A little quieter, please.  You want another cup of coffee?"

 

"Sure."  There were clinks, the sound of pouring.  "Tiure, I love her already.  I don't want to lose her.  She's almost like a real daughter, in my mind.  We can't let her remember.  She must remain forever brainwashed."

 

"I'll do my part."

 

"So will I, Tiure, so will I.  Let's drink to that."

 

"With coffee?"

 

"Why not?"

 

A clink.

 

"I'm going to  bed," he said.  "It's morning already, Tiure, look at the clock.  You coming?"  I can hear him getting up.

 

"I'll follow in a minute," she said.  "I'll turn off the lights and start the coffee for next morning."

 

"Make coffee in the dark?"

 

A giggle, a kiss.

 

"I'll be up soon."

 

The sound of footsteps starlted me out of my shock.  I scampered silently up the stairs and slid into bed.

 

Mom was not Mom, and Dad was not Dad.  What?  What brainwashing? Government? Why was government involved?  The footsteps walked into the other bedroom, stopped; came out and into the bathroom.  I heard the door close and lock.

 

I dropped onto my pillows.  I didn't get it.  I finally fell asleep.  My mouth didn't hurt, but at that time I didn't notice.

 

 

 

Yes, I will keep going with this! Even after I'm guessed!  I actually really like it ;).  Oh, and, my name's not Marionette in the story.  I'll come up with one when I need it.

Sorry, Spam Box, I didn't do a great job with the poet thing.  Another time.

submitted by Marionette
(June 4, 2011 - 10:20 am)

I'm back!  No, up here!

 

 

 

I dreamed again that night.  I dreamed that the boy Buren, who was so familiar and so strange, was kissing me, embracing me, in the moonlight, in a garden... then I saw the two of us running.  Running.  I looked behind me and there were men with guns.  I tried to shriek, but no sound came out.  We ran faster.  Then there was a shot, and Buren fell, rolling on the ground...

 

I woke up, tense.  What had happened?  What was wrong?  I didn't know. I went back to sleep.

 

In the morning I was groggy and sleepy.   I hadn't slept well at all.  Mom asked me if something was bothering me.  I thought maybe there was, but I didn't know what it might be.

 

It went on like that.  It went on like that for a few days.  Then one night after I woke up, I remembered my dream.  Buren.  A man named Dorinev.  Who put his hands on my head and made me hurt.  What was that all about?  A nightmare.  I went to sleep again.

 

I woke up in the morning with images floating in my mind... a man, a woman, Buren... I wasn't sure who the man and the woman were, but they were familiar.   I shook my head and got up, got dressed.

 

Mom was waiting for me at the breakfast table.  Dad had gone to work.  No, not Dad, not Mom.  Who then?  I didn't know.

 

"I heard you screaming in your sleep last night," she said.  "Is something wrong?  What were you dreaming about?"

 

"I don't remember," I lied, but I couldn't make eye contact.  Why was I talking to her, this person who wasn't my mom?  Why did I keep thinking of her as being Mom?

 

She looked at me a little funny, then kind of sighed.  "I'm to take you back to the doctor's today," she said.  "They want to make sure you're healing all right after the operation."

 

"My mouth doesn't hurt," I said.  "It's probably all right."

 

"That's great," she said, "but they want to make sure anyway."

 

I looked at her.  I wasn't so sure, but I didn't say anything.

 

 

 

 

Sorry.  Will continue.

submitted by Marionette
(June 6, 2011 - 7:06 am)

@Marionette: Nope. Are you Lizzy?

submitted by Carlie
(June 4, 2011 - 9:20 am)

@Marionette: Are you Choco?

submitted by Carlie
(June 5, 2011 - 7:45 pm)

No, I'm not Lizzy, and no, I'm not Choco.  I am flattered, though.

submitted by Marionette
(June 6, 2011 - 6:38 am)

@Marionette: Your story is amazing! I don't quite get what's going on, but it's really good. Lots of suspense.

I'm not going to guess because I'm new and don't know anyone, but these stories are all way better than I could ever write.

submitted by Alexandra S., age 12, Never Land
(June 6, 2011 - 4:11 pm)

@Alexandra - Welcome to the Chatterbox!  Hope you'll post often!  And thanks.  Let's see... I was kind of intending...

 

The MC (whose name isn't Marionette in the story)  is living in a place (planet, or weird Earth in the future, or whatever) where the government is trying to tightly control everyone.  No one can disagree.  The MC (main character, in case you didn't know) disagrees.  The first part of the story, which is like a prologue, tells how her boyfriend dies, killed by the government, while something weird happens to her.  Later we find out that she's been brainwashed and handed over to new parents.  But since she was so set against the government, the brainwashing wasn't complete, and all her memories are still ingrained in her subconscious.  So she starts dreaming, and slowly starts remembering some things, and overhears a strange conversation between her foster parents...

 

I haven't thought out the whole story yet.  I don't really know what will happed myself :).  But I'm enjoying it at least.

submitted by Marionette
(June 6, 2011 - 5:38 pm)

Sorry about the weird spacing. Enjoy!

 

“Anna, come with me.”
“No, stay away! Please, just leave me alone!”  I cried, barely able to see in the swirling mist. The stranger came closer, face shrouded in darkness. They reached toward me, almost touching, but I backed away. The ground seemed to tilt and slide under my feet, my eyes clouded in darkness, the person drawing ever nearer to me. I lost my balance and stumbled. Suddenly, there was a hand on my arm, barely brushing, and the ground fell away under my feet. I was floating. The world started to go dark.
“Just relax. You’ll be safe with us….”

I sat up straight in bed, gasping. The remnants of my dream clung to me like wisps of smoke; a mysterious stranger, a thick mist, and a deadly battle to hold on to consciousness. What did it mean? I shook my head, trying to clear my thoughts. It was nothing but a stupid nightmare. I slid out of bed and padded down the hallway, shadows dancing in corners and slithering across the walls. When I got to the kitchen, I turned on the light and poured myself a glass of water. I could hear the familiar sounds of my house all around me; the hum of the refrigerator, the ticking of clocks, the creaking of the fence boards in the wind, the tapping of a tree branch on the back door-
There were no trees near the back door.
Frozen with fear, I slowly turned my head to listen. Sure enough, there was a tap-tap-tap on the door that led to the backyard. I tiptoed towards it, floorboards creaking under my bare feet, until my hand was on the handle. The tapping continued. Slowly, painstakingly, I began to turn the knob, but as soon as I started, the tapping stopped. I flung open the door, but there was no one there. Trees whipped their branches wildly, the wind howling through the leaves, a fine mist of rain getting into my eyes. All of a sudden, the light gleaming off the raindrops disappeared, and I saw that a cloud had covered the moon. Its wispy grayness reminded me of the nightmare I had had that night.
   A gray fog, swirling around and around, smothering my mouth and eyes-
No! Don’t think about that! I started to back away from the open doorway, but something caught my eye. A shadow at the edge of the garden, moving quickly, swooshed over the fence—and was gone. I blinked twice in disbelief. It looked almost humanoid.
Scared, I wanted to go back inside, but something kept me there. I had to find out what that figure was.  As I crept forward towards the fence, starting slowly but breaking into a run, I was once again reminded of my nightmare. The darkness, the wind, the rain, the mysterious figure, all uncannily similar to my terrible dream.  I knew I shouldn’t be doing this, but I couldn’t stop.  I kept pounding my legs on the wet dirt, going to the spot where the shadow had been, until I finally reached it. I didn’t know what to do next. As I stood there, panting, still in my pajamas (now soaking wet), I felt a brush on my leg. I shrieked and looked down. It was only a spider web.
This was crazy! I had to go back inside. Turning back towards the door, I felt another brush on my leg, but ignored it. It was probably just another spider web.
“Thank you for coming, Anna. We’ve been waiting such a long time.”
“Aaah! Who’s there!?” I spun around, looking for the source of the voice, and saw—

The world went dark.

submitted by Miss Anony, age Ageless, Get it? Anonymous!
(June 7, 2011 - 11:03 pm)

@Miss Anony: That was so good! You better continue it!

Hm... Um, are you Elizabeth M.?

submitted by Carlie
(June 8, 2011 - 9:06 pm)

I can't believe I left this thread all alone! I'll have to read through all the stories at some point! Funny that I was guessed so much. 

I'm having trouble with the last story. Olive? Oregano? 

submitted by Elizabeth M., age 12, Germany
(June 9, 2011 - 10:49 am)