I wrote this

Chatterbox: Inkwell

I wrote this

I wrote this for Creative Writing and I just want to know what you guys think of it. Critique would be nice too. :)

His walk and balance on his tiptoes could rival a ballerina’s but his posture cannot. He wears -600 prescription glasses and his hair is neatly cut. His lips are extremely chapped.

   Now, his mind is a complex thing. No one, not even the owner possibly, has delved deep enough into it to understand the complicated way it works, nor has anyone been able to successfully wire it to match the normal “standards”. No, his brain functions differently, for better or for worse. Some may call it, “cute”, some may call it, “odd”, some may even call it, “retarded”, but how do they know that they’re the smarter ones? How do we know that we’re smarter than this ten-year-old boy? But that’s not the point.

   This little boy is a son. This little boy is a cousin. This little boy is a sibling.

   This little boy’s name is Vincent. He is my brother. 

submitted by Olive
(March 26, 2011 - 10:28 am)

back to the Inkwell

That is really good! Write more!

submitted by Choco, age 12, here
(March 26, 2011 - 2:44 pm)

@Choco: Thanks! But if I had to write more, I wouldn't know what to write. :)

TOP!

submitted by Olive
(March 26, 2011 - 4:04 pm)

Is Vincent really your brother?

submitted by Choco, age 12, here
(March 27, 2011 - 3:30 pm)

That's really descriptive. I like it!

submitted by Elizabeth M , age 11, Germany
(March 26, 2011 - 4:08 pm)

@Choco: Oui oui. For Creative Writing we had to write about a family member or friend, so I chose my little brother, who I find is easiest to write about.

submitted by Olive
(March 27, 2011 - 6:06 pm)

Oh okay, just wondering.

submitted by Choco, age 12, here
(March 28, 2011 - 3:05 pm)

Wow, that's really good. I wish I could write that well.

submitted by Sarah K, age 12, NJ, USA
(April 23, 2011 - 4:05 pm)