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Critics Needed!
Critics Needed!
I just wrote a poem that I want to enter in a contest. Please tell me what you think!
Am I alive, for I feel alive, in this twisting, turning staircas called life? Am I alive, for I feel alive, watching, glistening, a frozen myriad of lights the breath of frost, tantalizing lights dancing on my fingertips
Am I alone, in this kaliedescope of world's and stars? Am I alone, for I feel alone, feeling, breathing an empty space of darkness and light, the angels' souls infusing me with awe, the power of the universe in my hand, a dark abyss of Hell
Am I, swooping through time and space? Am I, for I feel I am, alone, yet not alone, alive, yet not alive, I have been, am, and will be, I have been since the beginning, and will be far beyond the end, the concoction of life, all life is in me, pulsing, beating, breathing, I am in this world, and so will be in the next, I am not good, I am not cruel, I am, I am, simply I am
submitted by Nick W, age 13, at writing desk
(February 1, 2011 - 7:51 pm)
(February 1, 2011 - 7:51 pm)
That was really, really good. Better than anything I can write. Enter this contest. Win. Then come back and explain to me how to write outstanidng poems such as this.
(February 1, 2011 - 10:31 pm)
Top, please. Everyone needs to know of this exquisite poem.
(February 1, 2011 - 10:32 pm)
That is really, good! I'm not much of a poetry writer, I'm more for novels, but I can tell good poetry when I see it. I don't remember seeing you around here. Are you new???
Top, thread, please?????
Haha, spammy says ddad.
(February 2, 2011 - 10:18 pm)
Thank You!
By the way, yes, I am new. If I could have a little help with the threads to visit......
(February 3, 2011 - 4:57 pm)
You can visit any you want, you can revive the old threads, or make new ones, or just read what everyone else is saying.
I prefer the Inkwell and Down to Earth Forums. The This Month forum is pretty dead and the Chirp at Crccket is getting there.
Really, it doesn't matter though. ;-)
(February 4, 2011 - 10:18 am)
That's a great poem! I love it, and I'm sure you'll do extremely well as long as you make sure fix your typo by putting an e at the end of staircase.
(February 5, 2011 - 11:20 pm)
My dear Nick,
That poem is excellent. I think you have the makings of a great author. I write small novels and I am also an editor, as well as a trekie and other things:) I think your poem is very good. First note, in the 5th line, worlds does not have a ' . Other than that, I think it's very good; now go and wow them at that contest!!
(February 12, 2011 - 5:22 pm)
That was....... incredible. You'll do great at the contest!
(February 19, 2011 - 2:01 pm)
Hey, I never understood modern poetry. But yours is good!
(February 28, 2011 - 2:09 pm)
I thought this poem was amazing. Did you enter it in the contest?
(March 3, 2011 - 11:38 pm)
Yes, I just did today. I hope I win!
(March 17, 2011 - 5:26 pm)