Critics Needed!

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Critics Needed!

Critics Needed!

I just wrote a poem that I want to enter in a contest. Please tell me what you think!

Am I alive, for I feel alive, in this twisting, turning staircas called life?                      Am I alive, for I feel alive,                                                                          watching, glistening, a frozen myriad of lights                                                        the breath of frost, tantalizing lights dancing on my fingertips

Am I alone, in this kaliedescope of world's and stars?                                            Am I alone, for I feel alone,                                                                          feeling, breathing an empty space of darkness and light,                                       the angels' souls infusing me with awe,                                                                the power of the universe in my hand, a dark abyss of Hell  

Am I, swooping through time and space?                                                              Am I, for I feel I am,                                                                                        alone, yet not alone, alive, yet not alive,                                                                 I have been, am, and will be,                                                                                 I have been since the beginning, and will be far beyond the end,                            the concoction of life, all life is in me, pulsing, beating, breathing,                               I am in this world, and so will be in the next,                                                            I am not good, I am not cruel,                                                                                I am, I am, simply I am 

 

submitted by Nick W, age 13, at writing desk
(February 1, 2011 - 7:51 pm)

That was really, really good. Better than anything I can write. Enter this contest. Win. Then come back and explain to me how to write outstanidng poems such as this.

submitted by Katie, age 13, outside looking
(February 1, 2011 - 10:31 pm)

Top, please. Everyone needs to know of this exquisite poem.

submitted by Katie
(February 1, 2011 - 10:32 pm)

That is really, good!  I'm not much of a poetry writer, I'm more for novels, but I can tell good poetry when I see it.  I don't remember seeing you around here.  Are you new???

Top, thread, please?????

Haha, spammy says ddad.

submitted by Charlotte/Cocheta, age almost 13, Lost in my mind
(February 2, 2011 - 10:18 pm)

Thank You!

By the way, yes, I am new. If I could have a little help with the threads to visit......

submitted by Nick W
(February 3, 2011 - 4:57 pm)

You can visit any you want, you can revive the old threads, or make new ones, or just read what everyone else is saying.

I prefer the Inkwell and Down to Earth Forums.  The This Month forum is pretty dead and the Chirp at Crccket is getting there.

Really, it doesn't matter though. ;-) 

submitted by Charlotte/Cocheta, age 13 tomorow, Lost in my mind
(February 4, 2011 - 10:18 am)

That's a great poem! I love it, and I'm sure you'll do extremely well as long as you make sure fix your typo by putting an e at the end of staircase.

submitted by Ima
(February 5, 2011 - 11:20 pm)

My dear Nick,

 

That poem is excellent. I think you have the makings of a great author.  I write small novels and I am also an editor, as well as a trekie and other things:) I think your poem is very good.  First note, in the 5th line, worlds does not have a ' .  Other than that, I think it's very good; now go and wow them at that contest!!

 

submitted by Stargazer, age 14, U.S.S. Enterpri
(February 12, 2011 - 5:22 pm)

That was....... incredible. You'll do great at the contest!

submitted by Mockingjay, District 12
(February 19, 2011 - 2:01 pm)

Hey, I never understood modern poetry. But yours is good!

submitted by Mattie
(February 28, 2011 - 2:09 pm)

I thought this poem was amazing. Did you enter it in the contest?

submitted by Elizabeth D., age 14, Texas
(March 3, 2011 - 11:38 pm)

Yes, I just did today. I hope I win!

submitted by Nick W
(March 17, 2011 - 5:26 pm)