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Letters to your
Chatterbox: Inkwell
Letters to your
Letters to your charries.
Because I’m mad at Calpurnia. Because she went bonkers and got herself turned into a dog. Here is a place to rant at your characters. They’re messing up your plot? Not listening to you? Don’t have enough personality? Vent it here.
Dear Calpurnia,
Who do you think you are, getting yourself turned into a dog like that? Don’t you realize I have a plot and a plan? You think you can just do whatever kind of garbage you want? I’m the one in charge here! Work with me, please! It took me quite a while to work out that dog mess. But you don’t care about that, do you? You should be grateful you’re my MC, or I’d kill you off. Work with me, okay? Please. You’re an MC; act like one. Don’t be some random charrie who can’t tell binkers from bonkers.
Most sincerely,
Your Creator
My Dearest Nat,
You’re doing an excellent job. Keep it up. Work hard. You’re one of the better charries I’ve ever come up with, if I do say so myself. Like I said, keep it up.
Gratefully,
Your Creator
Dear Maerilon and Lizzie,
Nice job. Get a bit more personality, though -- stop being so nice. Otherwise, you're doing great!
Sincerely,
Your Creator
submitted by ZNZ
(May 6, 2010 - 5:21 pm)
(May 6, 2010 - 5:21 pm)
hehe. should be fun.
Annalise,
Why in the world did you turn good? You could've had a perfectly good life on the dark side, but no. I mean, I don't care if they just left you with your enemies like that, they're villains, so what did you expect? Maybe if you weren't so angry all the time they would've wanted to keep you around. Maybe if you didn't shoot down their perfectly functional sinister ideas every time one didn't suit you well enough, that silly Aaron boy wouldn't be running around with them in your place. If you really wanted to wreak havoc with them, why did you just open up to the others? those weak, loving, goody-two-shoes ones?
Sincerely,
Your very frustrated Inventor
Dear Cora,
Keep up the good work with all of your evilness. Your lack of hygene and cruel way of thinking is working quite well for my storyline. But anyway, there is one thing I would like you to improve on. QUIT FOLLOWING MATHIAS AROUND LIKE A LOVESICK PUPPY! CAN'T YOU SEE HE WILL NEVER LOVE YOU BACK? HE IS INTERFERING WITH YOUR DARKNESS, AND ALL OF THIS FALLING DEFENSE EVERY TIME HE SMILES AT YOU IS BUGGING E BECAUSE YOU KNOW HE DOESN'T MEAN IT BUT YOU LOWER YOUR GUARD ANYWAY!! YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE THE EMOTION OF LOVE! YOUR'E A VILLAIN, SO ACT LIKE IT!
sincerely,
your Creater, who, btw, is only thinking of what is best for you
Dear Wenda,
What were you thinking, taking vows that are so hard to work around? I don't even know how to end it, thanks to your little willy-nilly promise keeping. But anyway, you are one of the more imaginative characters I've come up with, so I'm going to let it slide. But if I see you make another mistake like that again, like say, giving your immortality up to that weirdo Annalise with the flat personality, you will pay. Wait a minute, I was planning on you doing that anyway. Nevermind, carry on.
(May 7, 2010 - 5:39 pm)
This should be fun--do you mind if I use my imaginary world characters? I can't think of anything that's wrong with my characters right now, at least in my stories that I plan to publish...
Black Tulip,
Exactly what do you think you are playing at, coming over to our house like that? Don't you know you're one of the main villians? You aren't supposed to come over to our house, unless you plan to capture us! But noo, you have to come over with a message from Giovanni and act all peaceful like! And while we're on that subject, Giovanni, what's the big idea sending her over with a message? That's not Giovanni! Giovanni doesn't ask you nicely! He makes you do things! Wait a minute...he always does like to ask politely, even though he's going to make you do them anyway...Neeevermind...Keep up the good work with being the most evil character I've ever come up with!
To the other villians: PICK UP THE PACE! At this rate, Giovanni will capture all the other Mewtwos and you won't get any of them! The deal will be off! (By the way, Laurence-oh man, I can't make Roman numerals, it'll have to be 3-3, when we get out of this mess, Laputi has a bone to pick with you about your capturing Karochi. I'd move to the other side of the world if I were you.)
Sincerely,
Your Very Annoyed Creator.
More coming later, I just don't feel like posting it.
Andy P. C. says hkoe. He thinks this whole thing is hokey, apparently. Thanks, Andy...
~Wolfgirl67 signing off.
(May 7, 2010 - 10:27 pm)
ZNZ's Day of Writing: A One-act Play
ZNZ: Okay. Cal, today you're going to give Nat the postcard. Nat --
Inner Procrastinator: Oh, come on, ZNZ, you don't need to do that today. You don't even like that scene!
Inner Perfectionist and/or Overachiever: Yes, she does need to write it now. Otherwise how will she get in her thousand words for the day?
Inner Procrastinator: C'mon, let her take a break! She's been working hard.
Inner Perfectionist and/or Overachiever: She doesn't take breaks!
Inner Procrastinator: You work her too hard! Let her relax! She'll do it tomorrow.
Inner Common Sense: All right, all right, stop --
ZNZ [interjecting]: Hang on, you're my Inner Common Sense? I didn't know you exsisted! I thought you were just a myth!
Inner Common Sense: [glancing up at ZNZ] Yes, I am real. You just always choose to ignore me. [turning back to fighting pair] All right, stop fighting, you two.
Inner Perfectionist and/or Overachiever: You're late.
Inner Common Sense: Go jump in a lake, why don't you? All you're doing is making her feel bad about herself.
Inner Perfectionist and/or Overachiever: [splash]
Inner Common Sense: And you can shut up too, Procrastinator.
Inner Procrastinator: [splash]
ZNZ: Thank you so much, Common Sense. Now, back to my story. Okay, Cal, you're going to give Nat the postcard --
Cal: What? No! I can't do that!
ZNZ [exasperated]: Why ever not?
Cal: He might get hurt! Or in trouble!
Nat: Come on, Cal.
ZNZ: You will do what I say! As I created you, so I also can --
Cal: No, I won't. And don't try any of that, "I also can destroy you!" nonsense on me. You know you won't kill off your main character.
ZNZ [weakly]: Okay ... then. I ... guess ... you ... won't.
Cal: Good! Now, let me tell you what I've got planned for the day.
(May 7, 2010 - 7:56 pm)
Dear Corelle:
Please try not to be too mad at me for putting you through various ordeals. It's all for the best, I promise... And you don't die at the end. I admire your character qualities, such as daring, wit, dreaminess, strong will... Not to be narcissistic. You were, after all, intended as a self-portrait. And in order to be one, I must ask you to blunder healong into things without thinking more often. And always thinking you are absolutely right about everything is good too. Keep up the good work and tell Robyn not to be a Mary-sue for me, won't you?
The Author,
Emilie
(May 7, 2010 - 10:52 pm)
Dear Persian,
Keep up the good work! You are undoubtedly one of the best characters I have, so do your part and don't feel down! ;)
Sincerely,
Mary
Dear Felicia,
Very good. You are doing a good job of being a friend. Just one problem: STOP BOTHERING PETER! He has quite enough problem with Storm without you bugging him and asking for a date all the time! He doesn't want to end up like Romeo! Let him be! Thank you.
Sincerely,
Mary
Dear Tarayla,
Thank you for putting up so well with being the next one to get captured. Please understand that I will get you away as fast as I can. Thank you. And run outside now.
Sincerely,
Mary
Andy P. C. says rfxd.
~Wolfgirl67 signing off.
(May 8, 2010 - 1:10 pm)
Orange One, you of the Still Nonexistant Name,
I'm still mad at you for killing Bartholemew. 'Cept that's in the story. (Are you allowed to be your own main character? Is that intrinsically indicative of a big head?) Anyway, keep up the time-dimension-travel/omen-creating work, pouring hydrochloric acid on harmless potted plants named Bartholemew. Not sure if you're good or evil yet, but you're doing well. Keep up the weirdness!
Cheers,
Your creator,
lavendershy
(May 9, 2010 - 10:42 pm)
Dear MC, whose name is yet to be chosen from the many offered in the 2 Native American legends my story will be based upon once I finish researching & start writing,
Why on Earth do you have to be 6 years old at the beginning of the story, and 10 at the end?! Before I read this other version of one of the aforementioned legends, I was planning to have you be about 12 or 13! I expected to be able to choose that without being incorrect! And you were going to have a foster sister about half (or 2/3 of) your age—6 or 7, or maybe even 8, or 9—who, out of loyalty & loneliness, chased after you, and followed you to that cave where your foster father, or uncle, or foster mother, or stepmother—either works, all varieties are found in different versions of the legends—and was the other MC! But now, if you're 6, she'd have to be 3 or 4! I'm sorry, but I can't write a story with the MCs so young, nor do I want to! But I can't give up on this story now! I've put too much work into it! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH RESEARCH I'VE DONE ON PORCUPINES? HOW HARD I'VE WORKED TO PLAN ALL OF THIS? I'm afraid I may have to change your age! But that means going against the legend! I wanted to add many of my own twists, of course, including this foster sister of yours & a certain wolf pack, but I didn't want to do anything that the original legends actually contradicted! Now I'm afraid I must—and it's all your fault! At first I wondered if maybe 6 it could be how old you would be if you were a porcupine (a 6-year-old porcupine is much older than a 6-year-old human), or something, because you were talking to a porcupine when your age was mentioned, but then I remembered that most porcupines only lived to be about 6, and you're supposed to be a boy, not a grown man! I am going to look very closely at some other versions of the legends, and there had better be at least one in which you have a different age. If not, I won't just change your age to 13; I haven't decided how many members of your bear family die yet! Remember that I can—and very well may; that's what usually happens—kill them all! And you don't want that, do you? SO GROW UP!
Quite Sincerely,
The girl who decided to document your experience
(May 10, 2010 - 7:08 pm)
I heart these threads.
*
Helena:
Yay! Yayyy! My NaNo will be here soon in book form thanks to createspace. And, ever so narcisstically, I will put it on my bookshelf. Between Woodson and Zawaki. Feel special.
And then I will continue working on your sequel! Yay!
I'm sorry for abandoning it during Screnzy but 400pgs of script had me busy. *brags*
I just want to say that I love love love you and you are awesome and both Rays of Light and Lost Souls have been so much fun to work on. :) You are of course insufferably melodramatic at times, but it is alright. I love you anyway. And Valour! And Wolfy! And Kelly! And Punk, Smeyer, Aaron, Mildred, Aimee, and Death! And the Fates! And Luciano, sorta. And Quinn, Aileen, and Vale! Not Black, but no one loves him. Oh and Keith! I love Keith and Sammy! And Howard and Horazall and Harry and Rodney and Mr. Ian Woon and all the other pointless but epically awesome characters!
I'm done obsessing over my creations now. Thank you for all you do!
Much love <3
Mary Liz
*
Ima: [no Ima B from Texas not you :D]
Smirk. Just smirk. You will never succeed in being the most loserish character ever because Screnzy #3 ROCKED.
Smirking,
Mary Liz
(May 11, 2010 - 3:42 pm)
Dear Mrs. Gooding,
Let's face it: you are pure evil. You sent home a mysterious brochure about a school event called "L Day". Of course, none of the students know yet that it stood for Lock Day. Except for that one little kid snoop who is currently digging through the purse you left behind, searching for your evil document. After that, you locked the gym class in a room with no windows, toting the key with you. And we know that you were trying to perform some evil affair, but the worst part is that we don't even know what your motive is. Get a move on!
**************
Dear Carrie Williams,
Look out--your uncle is about to steal the special gift that everyone's been yakking about. What's even worse is that he signed the pledge to keep the news secret! Make sure to self-destruct this letter after you read it--it might rouse suspiscion.
*************
Dear Mystery Girl,
Sorry I can't give you a name, but you don't have one. That's the first one of your character's many flaws that revolve around one topic: not enough description. Why are you running away? What is the item you need to bring to pass "the test?" Who is your enemy? Why is there a creepy old sign in the back of your yard? Maybe I'll give you a second chance if you show improvement.
************
Dear Tamika,
Well done! You handled the little mystery well. Paul was clever to make a code using his name. I hope your dad's buisness is running well. Maybe I'll bring you back in a sequel about your upcoming ski trip to Colorado to visit your camp friend. You're a really great character, complete with a love for letters and the (fake) novel Sketchy. WELL DONE!
************
Dear Louis,
Helping that octopus was a remarkable feat. Too bad that because a 3-year-old wrote your story, you aren't for 11-year-old audiences.
(May 15, 2010 - 3:51 pm)
Dear Janie,
You are a great character. Very brave. Nice job tackling Loki. I owe the Midgard Spy's success to you.
your creator
Dear Color,
I understand that moving to California in 1849 is very difficult, but you are seriously lacking something in the canine department. You're a dog, so act like one! I don't want a story about a cat, a human, whatever you're turning into! I'm trying to make a story that dog lovers will like. Knock it off.
your unsatisfied creator
(May 16, 2010 - 12:17 pm)
Dear Rissa,
Hello. *coughs* I'm working on your rewrite right now, so I'm going to apologize in advance if you feel a bit out-of-character. Terrible pun. :P And then, on my way to Paris and back in July, I will probably be about halfway through your prequel, Risen Shadows. Which will be awesome to write. And I promise that a little bit of you will be lodged in Sunny....Anyhoo, you're an amazing character and I LOVE writing you. I've picked up on your sarcasm in RL a bit. :) And I bet you can't wait for your sequel, Darkening Shadows, which will be this year's NaNo. :D *squee* Talk to you later. And FYI, Jake was NOT talking about that. You got it all wrong.
Love,
Ema <3
(Is it okay to write 'love' to my character?? Or am I just losing my mind? And Spammy says 'byyy' to you, Rissa, also. How sweet, Spammy. :D)
(May 18, 2010 - 6:58 pm)
Dear Ash,
I am sorry for giving you such bad luck. I am sure you are very angry/a bit scared right now. But I will try to make it up to you and keep you out of solitary confinement. I also apologize for making Kimya a hostage, making the council hate you, and making you less strong than a council member. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, I will try to make sure that what seems like a soon to be hermithood isn't too bad.
Love,
Listening Daisy
P.S. Jasper say ilvu
(July 16, 2012 - 11:59 pm)