Another poem :)

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Another poem :)

Another poem :) I wrote this after we did our health unit on drugs, alcohol, and tobacco. I welcome people who will rip this apart ;D

I refuse

To throw away

My dreams.

To watch

My life

Go up

In a cloud

Of cigarette

Smoke.

 

I refuse

To lose

My friends

My family

Myself.

 

I will not

Shoot up

For a few

Brief moments

Of euphoria.

 

I will not

Drown

My sorrows

In alcohol.

 

I refuse

To lose

That girl

Who wanted success.

Won’t leave behind

The dancer

The artist

Or the writer.

 

I’m not going

To care

If I’m not

The coolest

Just because

I don’t

Like pot

Do crank

Or snort coke.

Laugh at me.

I won’t care.

 

I don’t mind

If you pressure

And push me

Because

I am stronger

I don’t need

Drugs.

I am the

Dancer

Artist

Writer

Who is strong enough

To say

No.

So...? It's a little bit dark, but it's meant to be inspiring :) i'd love feedback :D

  

 

submitted by Koffee, age 14
(April 18, 2010 - 3:18 pm)

back to the Inkwell

I like it. That is to say, I like it enough that I will spend my time tearing it apart.

"I will not drown my sorrows in alcohol" nice, but what sorrows? In the poem you sound like you are strong and not sad. Either change the tone of the poem or think of something else. Sorry. That was mean.

submitted by Ann
(April 19, 2010 - 6:43 am)

No, you're fine :D I totally get what you mean. Thanks :D

submitted by Koffee, age 14
(April 19, 2010 - 7:52 pm)

I think she meant that a lot of people drink because they think it can make their problems/sorrows go away, at least for a little while, and they are not strong enough to face their sorrows. I liked it.

submitted by JFB, age 14, Here and There
(April 20, 2010 - 7:14 pm)

Yeah, that's what I meant :D

submitted by Koffee, age 14, School computer
(April 21, 2010 - 11:21 am)

Yeah, that was the feeling I got. Like, she has problems and is sad at times just like everybody else, but she's strong enough to face it.

submitted by ZNZ
(April 24, 2010 - 8:32 am)

I don't think it's dark. I like it!

submitted by ZNZ
(April 19, 2010 - 8:07 pm)

Aw, thanks :)

submitted by Koffee, age 14
(April 20, 2010 - 7:07 pm)

Good message!! I think it's hard to tear poems like this apart because they are definitely written from your beliefs or your heart. Plus, it was really good!!

submitted by Mai, age 13
(April 20, 2010 - 7:36 pm)

Thank you guys :) You're all really sweet <3

submitted by Koffee, age 14
(April 20, 2010 - 11:03 pm)

It's very inspiring. Not terribly dark at all. I like. :)

submitted by Mary W., age 12.28, NJ
(April 21, 2010 - 3:59 pm)

I like it!

submitted by Clair, age 12, Right Where I W
(April 21, 2010 - 6:56 pm)

Thanks so much,  you guys!

submitted by Kofee, age 14
(April 23, 2010 - 5:49 pm)

KOFFEE, IT IS WONDERFUL!

 

Hm. Should I post a song that I wrote, and the story that goes with it? Opinions, anyone? 

submitted by Jen
(April 24, 2010 - 7:22 am)