Chatterbox: Inkwell

I started a new story a couple days ago. Please read it and tell me what you think. I need suggestions! I can do bribes too...(Chocolate! You name it!) It is as of yet untitled, so I'm just calling it Felinna. By the way, If you don't understand the poem/prophecy in the beginning, you're not the first.I know it's kind of long...but please, please, please read it!

The Kingdom of Ernalton

The Great, the Strong

Finally will win

When Right joins Wrong

Impoverished and poor

Evil takes hand

Devastating war

She’ll be the last to stand

The last to fight

Shall be the one not to lose

The first to win

Shall be the one to choose

And Peace shall be found

Only when

The Girl

Gives her Heart’s Blood

To the Prince of Darkness

Locks of Raven

Black as Night

Emerald Eyes

Green Cat-Sight

Voice of Silver

Pure as Light

Willful Soul

And always Right

Sixteen Years She’ll Be

When She is Given for Our Might

Our Deliverance from Nightmare

Our Hero

Will never be seen again

Once She Sacrifices Herself to

The Prince of Darkness

The kingdom of Ernalton was impoverished and battle-struck, a miserable wreck of a place. Peasants starved because they couldn’t get enough food on the table to feed their whole families. Of course, the young helpless children were the first priority, but when their parents starved to death, there was no one else left to feed them and they couldn’t help themselves, so, in their innocence, they starved as well. Conditions were cruel and terrible, and all the men, young and old, weak and fit, were sent off to fight in fruitless skirmishes that only resulted in loss of life; theirs. But amidst all the death and destruction, a bright light of joy was a beacon of change. Somewhere, a beautiful baby girl was born to an overjoyed mother, and the love that they shared was the most wonderful thing that happened in years. But no happiness could be long-lived, for when the infant was two, she was recognized as the cure for the misery. Silky black curls and intelligent green eyes led to her downfall, and the death of her loving mother, who resisted the inevitable. Because the child was the one. The one who would bring an end to the suffering and murder. Or so the people of the kingdom believed. Little did they know what they were starting by stealing the baby from her family. Because although it brought the majority hope that war would soon be eradicated, it took away the beacon. And that could have been their fatal mistake.

Felinna woke in a cold sweat, hoping that her life had just been a bad dream. All of it. She wished it all away, even while she knew that her entire meager fifteen years had been spent wishing just that. That she would fall asleep and wake up in another reality, as another person, who looked completely different than her. But miracles like that just didn’t happen, especially to her. She closed her startlingly green eyes and lay there with her glossy black hair fanned out on her straw pillow, trying to forget who she was.

The castle was waking, and she could hear servants bustling up and down hallways, consumed with their work, and, as she had noticed years before, staying as far from her room as possible. Just another day of being pointed at and called “That girl.” And being admired for her beauty and the fact that she was destined to save Ernalton someday. What all those ignorant palace girls wouldn’t do to have her face and marry some rich royal someday. What Felinna wouldn’t do to have their unremarkable faces and fall in love with a peasant someday. All those girls who stared at her jealously and made comments behind her back had no idea what it was like to be her. Sure, they wanted to know, but if they did, they would cringe and run away screaming like lunatics. Her mind was an all-consuming storm; dark and terrifying. She trusted no one and relied on no one, always suspicious of anyone she met. People dreaded her, and when they saw her, would recognize her on-sight, hiding immediately like they thought she was on a killing spree or something. The few people who approached her would bow and apologize for past wrongs, kneeling and begging for her to forgive them like she was God or something. It used to be an unusual blessing to have her hair and eyes, but now it was a warning flag to anyone who saw her: LOOK OUT, HERE COMES THE FUTURE SAVIOR OF ERNALTON! DON’T OFFEND HER, OR, BETTER YET, DON’T SPEAK TO HER! There was only one person in the world with black hair and green eyes, and Felinna was the one.

That “blessing” had caused her to lose her family when she was tiny. That “blessing” had caused her to be alienated by everyone she met. That “blessing” destined her to be forced into an arranged marriage with someone she detested above all others. Some stupid prophecy written by some All-Seer years before predicted that she would stop the savage wars going on between different kingdoms by “giving up her heart’s blood to the Prince of Darkness”. Not even Felinna, who doubted everything, doubted that this was referring to the Black Prince. She hated him with a loathing as strong as iron and black as midnight with no moon or stars. She was also engaged to him. They were to marry on the night of her sixteenth birthday. And it was only two months away. She hated him above all the other people she hated, and there were a lot of people she hated. Actually, she hated the world for giving her a life full of hatred.

The Black Prince was said to be the most handsome man in the world. Deep, black liquid eyes that you could lose your heart in, never to be found again. Flawless, creamy skin, free of any blemishes. And wavy dark hair that glistened even in the barest of light. It was rumored that he had bought his looks from a witch in order to woo a beautiful princess who had promptly fallen in love with him, then disappeared with no trace. People didn’t like to contemplate any of the unpleasant fates that could have befallen the poor girl. They liked contemplating what the Black Prince had to do with it even less. For although he had the advantage of breathtaking beauty on his side, he was a terribly unsavory character, the source of the wars that were ravaging the countryside and the people that inhabited it. He was a bloodthirsty dictator, and to keep his reputation for ruthlessness, he had daily executions of rebels who opposed his savage rule. He called it “killing two birds with one stone”. Felinna called it “disgusting and despicable”. And although she hated him with every last cell of her body, down to the final molecule, she was to be his bride because the prophecy stated that it would end Ernalton’s suffering. But it would make her own unbearable. Did they ever ask her what she wanted? No. They assumed that any stupid girl would be overjoyed to marry a handsome, wealthy, powerful prince. And any stupid girl might have been. But Felinna wasn’t any stupid girl. She was trained in armed as well as unarmed combat, an intelligent and dangerous dragon ready to kill. And this dragon wanted to kill. She wanted the pleasure of sinking her deadly talons into her enemies’ flesh, wanted to hear them cry out in terror of the dragon hiding in the maiden’s body. Most of all, she wanted revenge. Revenge upon the people of her kingdom, who deemed her the most appropriate person to pull away from her loving family, destroy her life, and make her the one to be admired, and more so, feared. To take away all the friends she might have had, and all the petty disputes of a normal childhood. Enemies who she might have tried to beat up, but never kill. She was tainted, not by evil, but by the hope of others, which became the opposite for her. Because who knows how much it can weigh upon ones shoulders to carry the weight of the emotions of all others? To lift the burden from their tired backs willingly, if you believe in it, is one thing, but it’s an entirely different one to become their slave and be beaten, bruised, and homesick as you lug a load too heavy for any muscular body-builder, let alone a maiden with the heart of a dragon that no one can see. Add the fact that she hates every aspect of the very concept of the forced labor, and you have a big problem. And the people of Ernalton had that problem, though they were oblivious to it.

Felinna didn’t look like a dragon in a maiden’s body at all. In fact, at first glance, she looked like a vain, self-centered, and idiotic noble. But she wasn’t. If one took time to notice her emerald eyes, they would see an intense sparkling gaze filmed over with infinite sadness and a huntress’s stare, like she was stalking her prey. But people never took time to look past her beauty, and note that she wasn’t what she looked like. Never. Looks aren’t necessarily revealing about what’s inside a person’s heart or head, as Felinna knew only too well. All she wanted was to escape the life that she had been delegated, and, although that wasn’t physically possible, she had learned to evade the miserable existence that chased her everywhere she went, by immersing herself in large crowds. Noisy, if possible, which large crowds tended to be. She needed to forget, today, and as nobody was watching her closely, she saw the chance to escape into the world outside that royal prison of a castle.

Felinna slipped silently out of her bed and dressed in a sensible and unremarkable tan dress that covered her up, yet didn’t give away any of her shape, which she hated people seeing. It had long sleeves that ended raggedly at her wrists because she had cut them when they trailed and got in her way too much. Leather criss-crossed down from the low neckline, which she actually didn’t mind much. The dress had used to be very becoming, too becoming until she had altered it. It fit her interests. Felinna tied her hair in a tight bun, wincing as she pulled her hair too hard. Then she grabbed a dark brown cloak and knotted it around her neck, covering her face with shadow as she pulled the hood up. No one would recognize her. As an afterthought, she tied an undecorated dagger to her belt, just in case anything happened, which, judging by her luck, it would.

She slipped out the window and onto the exterior ledge, looking down at the ground ten feet below and steeling her nerves. She could do it. She jumped. Her dress billowed about her like a sail to keep her flying. She landed on her feet like a cat and took off running stealthily like a black panther, pausing only when she was on the road to smudge dirt on her face to further conceal her features.

The town was completely chaotic. Merchants selling their wares cried out to passersby, people disagreed about prices and fistfights broke out. Felinna stared in awe as potters worked their magic and what was supposedly just a lump of clay transformed into beautiful earthenware jugs and pots. People blew glass, sold garments, made food, and most of all: yelled. It was absolute mayhem. Felinna loved it.

She heard a yelp, and looked around to see two boys, maybe a few years older than herself dragging a dog into an alley. It was scrabbling frantically in the dirt, but it was no match for the muscles that Felinna could see rippling in the boys arms. She saw evil designs on their faces and, noting the sticks in one’s hand, her face hardened. She felt the deadly hatred freeze her heart, and attack mode switch on in her brain. Suddenly she was following them into the backstreet, where their backs were turned to her. One was holding the dog down, the other preparing for torture. The dog was crying piteously, and it twisted Felinna’s heart to hear an innocent creature make such a sound. The dog was foaming at the mouth, and its eyes were wide and wild. When it caught sight of her, it locked its gaze with hers and looked at her with a deep pleading stare. There was no going back for her now that the dog knew she was here to save it. She walked closer, deliberately crunching the rocks and alerting the boys of her presence. They turned, surprised.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit unsporting guys?” Felinna asked coolly, looking pointedly at the whimpering dog. “I mean, two against one? Plus the benefit of opposable thumbs?”

They stared, then turned to each other, grinning. The bigger of the two looked at Felinna. “Are you looking for a fight, or did you just stumble into it?” The other smirked and said, “Do you want to make it sporting then?”

Felinna nodded silently, tensing her muscles to spring on the larger. They stopped grinning. The smaller boy, who was holding the dog, glared at her then glanced at the bigger. “Isn’t this the part where she runs away screaming?” The big guy nodded. “But since she’s not…” He smiled evilly just as Felinna launched herself at him.

He grunted as she made impact and sent him sprawling on the ground. Then she rounded on the boy with the dog, whose eyes were now wide with terror. Of a girl, she thought to herself in satisfaction, I bet he never expected that.

She jumped into the air, twisting and flipping, and landed on his chest with perfect timing. The air whooshed out of him with a satisfying oof!

Felinna pried his hands from the dog’s legs, the owner of which promptly bolted. So much for gratitude, she thought with grim humor.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” she lied to the guy beneath her foot, “But I will if you don’t cooperate. I’m gonna let you go, if you promise not to ever do that again. Otherwise…Well, suffice to say it won’t be pleasant.”

The boy nodded silently, just as Felinna felt an impact on the back of her neck. Crap! I’m so stupid! She staggered forward, releasing the boy from beneath her, and hitting her head on the side of the narrow alley. She felt hands on her throat, roughly turning her to face the owner.“We don’t like being made fools of,” growled the big boy, “Especially by a girl!”Felinna felt herself beginning to choke, but didn’t allow panic to set in. She noted the areas of weakness, and was drawing back her leg to kick him between his legs, when a voice called out through the shadows of the alley.“I really don’t admire brute force, especially used on people weaker than you.”Felinna took a moment to realize that the speaker was referring to her as weak. She felt a spurt of completely bizarre indignation, considering she was the one backed up against a wall with hands at her throat. Dimly, she heard footsteps approaching, and the hands loosened as the boy turned to look at whoever was talking. Fatal mistake! Felinna thought in twisted delight as she finished executing her kick. The boy doubled over in pain. She punched him in the nose, and knocked his head against the wall, hard. Incapacitated, the boy slid down to his knees, sobbing. She whirled, still in full attack mode, to take out her other opponent, but found him also on the ground, crying. Panting, Felinna stared at him, trying to figure out how he ended up there, when a hand rested lightly on her shoulder. She spun, switching back to attack, and drew back her arm for another punch. But she stopped herself when she saw who was touching her.It was another boy, yes. Ferocious and evil, no. He was about her age with shaggy black hair and really dark skin, rather handsome. Felinna drank his image in as she switched back to normal person not-kill-anything-that-moves mode. She looked into his eyes, dark brown and mysterious, and tried to calm down.“Are you all right?” the boy asked.She looked at him in indignation and appraisal. If he had taken out a boy for her, he must be worth something. Then again, he’d thought she was a helpless girl about to get mauled. “Yeah.”“How did that happen?” he stared at her in curiosity, and for a moment Felinna had the fatal urge to pull down her hood. But she stopped the urge right in its tracks.“Uh, they were about to kill a dog, and I uh, I didn’t want them to.”“So you followed them in here to stop them.” He shook his head, “That was really brave, especially considering how strong they are.”Felinna disregarded that last comment. “It was not brave. And it wasn’t stupid either.” She stared him down meaningfully. “I know a bit about fighting.”He looked at the boy by the wall as if noticing him for the first time. “Oh…” he said, “I feel really stupid now. You would have had it under control wouldn’t you have? I just saw him with his hands all over you and I assumed…”Felinna grinned as he looked at the ground in shame. Then she laughed.He looked up, startled. “What?”Felinna kept laughing, “You,” she gasped finally, “You-you thought I was just a regular girl!” It was the funniest thing she had ever heard in her life, which just proved the lack of entertainment she was faced with.He looked indignant. “How was I supposed to know that? I mean, it’s not like you’re wearing a sword or anything.”Felinna drew back her cloak to reveal her small dagger.“Wow. Okay. Geez. I just keep getting proved wrong, huh? Oh, hey, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Talu.”Felinna knew he was waiting for her name, and in a split-second, she decided to supply it.“I’m Felinna.” She announced, sweeping her hood back and undoing her hair so that it cascaded over her shoulders like a black waterfall.Talu blinked and sucked in a breath, taking her in. “I wondered what you looked like.” He said, completely neutrally and composed.It was Felinna’s turn to blink. “Uh, you’re not going to run away or drop to the ground and worship me?”Talu blinked again, staring at her as if she were a queer specimen of some kind. “I don’t mean to offend you or anything, but why the heck would I do that?!”Felinna grinned so broadly that her face hurt. “Yes! Are you foreign or something?” she said excitedly.

“You could say that.” He smiled at her.