Ayyyy! This is cool! So I'm Ace and possibly Aro??? Definitely on the AroAce spectrum, so I'll try to give you my perspective on these questions.

- I think it's definitely possible to enjoy stories/songs that are romantic, even if you don't feel that way (similar to how gays can enjoy a straight romance story, or the other way around; it's obviously a little different, but kind of shows the appreciation for different tastes in a similar way).  I also think you can appreciate romantic stuff, even if you can't relate. At the same time, constantly seeing ever story you read be touched and "interrupted" by romantic subplots/hijinks can be annoying, no matter how you identify. If it seems like every song on the radio is a love song a d you just don't get it, that might be frustrating, too.

- I have had relationships before and still question if I'm Aro or not, so definitely possible to date people and still not be sure if you're aromantic. Again, I think plenty of people who end up being gay/lesbian date straightly at first since it's the "default" and just don't feel it fully before they realise why. Some people will never have a doubt that they are gay/lesbian or aro/ace, though. You can also have connections and care about people, maybe just not in the way that people expect / not in a strictly romantic way. It can also be really confusing, like you think you like them, but maybe not romantically, but maybe also yes romantically??? Also have you ever had a person who you didn't have a crush on, but then they hug you or hold your hand or do something that would normally be interpreted as kinda romantic and your stomach flutters and then you are just so extremely confused because you don't see them any differently? That's happened to me before. 

- Absolutely. It can feel like there's something wrong with you for not wanting something so fundamental that everyone else wants. Up till pretty late as a teenager I just had absolutely no interest in crushes, even though I knew I wanted to be around certain people a lot more than others. Later on I kinda convinced myself I just didn't know what a crush felt like, and that's why I thought I never had one. I still just am not sure.

- I think maybe acting like you just hate people in general? Or that you can't stand the sight of anything romantic? Or being super oblivious, like they just don't know what romance is? But then again, there are so many different people in the world, and I'm sure some aro/ace people (and just people in general) are like that, so idk. I'd think just not to make them like that unless you have a reason / something in their backstory that would justify feeling / acting like that.

so, I personally am not aromantic. but I am ace (a more specific subset, but I usually just use the term ace), so I thought I would answer one or two of these questions ^w^

- personally, I'm okay with love songs, but I don't really seek them out, per se; it's just that if they happen to have a romantic meaning to them, I'm not bothered by it. it's a similar thing with books: I don't seek out romantic-focused books, but if they happen to have a love side trope, I'm ok with it.

- I didn't really "realize" I was ace--it was more of a, "wow, I really don't have an interest in this like other people do. guess that's just me". and then only recently I was like, "oh. there's a label for that. ok :)". for an aroace character, I'm not sure, but for me, I feel an attraction to people romantically, but I'm quickly deterred because I know if it was reciprocated, they would want deeper intimacy, and that really shuts me down.

- once, I did; a friend of mine was really pushing me to say if I had a crush on someone, so I told her about a boy that I'm really platonically/mildly romantically attracted to, just to make her shut it. but otherwise, I tell the truth: I'm really deterred by the idea of having anything deeper than a mild romantic relationship.

- a stereotype to avoid would be the idea that ace people are completely deterred by intimate relations. look it up and you'll find that there are several subsets (including my own)

hope this was helpful! I know I'm not aroace like you were looking for, but maybe this will give you a few ideas :3 

my CAPTCHA says zitch... that sounds like a good name... 

thanks for asking! a major thing to realize is that aro (and ace but i’m focusing on aro here - also a character doesn’t have to be both, they can be aro but not ace or other way) people can have any relationship to romance, they just don’t feel it and/or feel it differently (like greyromantic or demiromantic or frayromantic). So you can have an aro character who loves romance novels and Valentine’s day but hates the idea of actually being in a romantic relationship, or who doesn’t care about those things but rarely has romantic attraction. Also there are things like qprs, which are basically relationships that aren’t romantic but aren’t platonic. So someone could be in a dedicated qpr and have no interest in romance. also of course there are people who hate all of it.

For the questions:

I almost always hate love songs unless they’re really really good musically (i can handle The Beatles XD) or classical (which would also probably mean they’re in another language, which helps). Or if they’re sad. I find the lyrics a bit… oof though, even if i do like them. That being said, i am completely obsessed with Giselle and Albrecht right now (Marianela Nuñez and Vadim Muntagirov, ROH 2016). Because they’re just fun. It’s like they’re just playing games the whole time and it works so well and also Marianela Nuñez and Vadim Muntagirov and all the amazing dancers (a lot of current principals hadn’t been promoted yet - Anna Rose O’Sullivan is in the ensemble! Yasmine Naghdi and Marcelino Sambe and Fransesca Hayward are in smaller solo parts! That’s certainly the best pas de six cast you can get - I mean the ones I mentioned but also Luca Acri, Alexander Campbell, and Yuhui Choe! Yeah it’s great). I actually do get obsessed with this sort of thing sometimes, but not really in a romantic way, i just really like the characters. But a lot of things also focus really hard on the romantic bit, or it’s mushy or there’s a lot of focus on like commitment and marriage and then it’s less fun. also there are bits of love songs that are relatable regardless, depending on the song. especially like sad ones. XD

Ummm really i’ve always hated romance so it probably wasn’t very hard for me to be like “ey that’s me” when i read about the label XD as for my queer journey in general: basically i learned about it on the CB and the only thing i had heard about queerness before was someone making a gay joke that i didn’t get XD and yeah, i’ve definitely heard of people dating before they realize they’re aro, and some might after if they're like greyromantic or such. when they aren't, i usually hear it’s not fun, even if they like the person. That being said I adore ballet romance (at least because it's ballet). Especially when they both die at the end. I’m joking but i’m also not.

I don’t think so about the crush thing, but i’ve heard of it. I’m really not good at being normal, and i never seem normal anyway so XD 

For stereotypes and such… um i guess i’d like to see more diversity in relationship to romance - having multiple aro characters would be cool! Also ace characters who aren’t aro and aro characters who aren’t ace. And also characters who are not majority in other ways, like not white or queer in other ways or disabled (i could help you with those if you want, but ofc that would require a ton more research). I feel like often it’s either “we can still love and be romantic though” or ignoring that?? And like more specific things - maybe they’re more or less okay with flirting but anything beyond that feels invasive or something. 

I’d also be careful, since you said you’re not aroace, to write too much into what it’s like? Like not making a large part of it something deeply intrinsic to being aroace. Like a plot about coming to terms with it would probably require a lot of input from people who actually are aroace, and a plot about arophobia would need even more. (If you’re queer in other ways i’d be somewhat less concerned about the first, since it’s similar, though, but i still don't know if i'd make it too big of a thing.) Also of course it’s totally fine to be cishet! It’s just that since it’s not lived experience it’s much easier to get wrong or write something hurtful. and also if you’re going to publish it someday (especially traditionally) it might take up a space that an aroace person could get. I really don’t want to make it sound like it’s bad to be cishet, or that you’re the villain, or anything. (though also, cishet people come to terms with this once and otherwise don't really get the same societal messaging, while queer people are painted as villains and told that it’s bad to be themselves like constantly… like just by wanting to use the right name we're like unreasonable, and if we complain we're like making too big a deal of it and "woke" and all that, and all that is probably worth keeping in mind as well. Like just not having to come out is a big enough thing that it’s worth mentioning, even if it goes well. But it’s not a bad thing on your part either, you certainly don’t have control of societal things either) 

let me know if you have questions!

In my writing, I have some characters who are neurodivergent (especially autistic ones, as for some time I was wondering if I was autistic), and since I'm not neurodivergent I'd like advice on how to write about neurodivergent characters properly (I understand that there is more to people than being neurodivergent, but I'd like to be able to make it believable). I've read some books with neurodivergent main characters (some with neurodivergent authors too) and am taking some ideas from them, but I'd also like advice from other people about it, if that'd be possible? Thanks!