@azalea, oh, yeah, punching down... i did not think about that! but, yeah, i could have made that work. (although it might be more sam-ish to devote a long run-on sentence to failing to come up with a metaphor, im not sure?) regardless, would that you were there while i was trying to come up with a good metaphor, i might be Sam guys.

~~

THINK ABOUT DAD==>

You wonder, idly, what your dad would do in this situation. Your dad... That's the one thing you haven't let Tracy take with their powers. It'd feel disrespectful to him. You love him, and not caring about his death would feel a lot like not caring about him. You can't do that.

(you remember watching Moana with your friends, and just bawling your eyes out, thinking about how she thought her dad hated her, and how he really just wanted to protect her, and how everything was okay for them in the end. and then thinking about the last time you saw your dad.)

You're not sure what your dad would do. Something awesome with his sword that you failed to learn from him, probably. Some kind of flying leap and spinning strike, probably. You wish your Knight powers made you a ninja, for like the billionth time. Unfortunately,mit just made you really strong and good at hitting things. Well, when in doubt, hit things.

Ryan, and dude, he is suddenly attractive, you cannot stress enough how hilarious that is, captain acne scars suddenly looking like a brunette Ryan Gosling, or a young Jeff Bridges, whoops, distracted again... Uh, Ryan, right. He's charging right at the demon, and it lets out a weird battle cry, like the stardust cowboy, and strikes him right out of the air. He falls down, sputtering in impotent rage.

YOU: Hold on, I have a plan. Antimony, your Seer powers are different than Diana, right?

Antimony: Yes. I have flight, and prophetic dreams. And lasers, but those are involuntary.

Diana: And I have prognosis, and strength. 

YOU: Great, you're exactly what I need... Look:

OPERATION DROP KICK==>

You explain your plan, and the hobos are, of course, excited by the whole thing. You toss your sword to Alex, she'll definitely be careful with it. Ryan and Wren are talking in hushed tones, probably best to let them hash this out.

Ingrid: look. look, they are having a private conversation. this just feels really disrespectful, honestly. 

You and Diana run up together, with Antimony flying behind, as support. Tracy is healing a nasty cut on Wren's arm, but they're prepared to run over and help if need be. 

Ingrid: ok. you guys are charging me, thank you. i feel better now.

Diana: No problem, sir! :3

YOU: Okay, on three.

Diana: (he is going to try to punch down at you.)

Punching down. Okay. That's your metaphor, alright, yeah. Uh, more important things are currently happening, right. The demon punches down, and you leap over it's improbably large forearm. Diana slides under it, and the both of you throw it in the air. 

Ingrid: what?

YOU: Drop! 

Diana: Kick!

You both kick the creature, and you feel you foot break through its carapace. It's mushy inside. Yuck. The demon smashes through the wall, and falls into the sand.

Diana: This is where I would level up, had I not already reached my zenith! 

YOU: Amen, sister.

Diana: We are not related.

YOU: What?

Ryan speaks up awkwardly, raising his hand. 

Ryan: Uh, I have a portal out of here. It has less time dilation than the pathway, we should get home just a few days after you guys left, not, you know, months. Before we go, uh... If there's anything you need to ask me about, or, get me to take accountability for... I will do anything.

This dude is about to up and start crying. You don't need none of that.

Huh. What do you do?

did my post not go through? you can make any changes you think are necessary 

It's up now.

Admin

ok, it's been more than 3 days. part.

~~

SPECIFICS ON APOPHIS? ==>

You decide learning about your enemy might be important. Also maybe that will distract him, you really don't like being around when people are crying. What are you going to do, put your hand limply on their shoulder and babble meaningless placation? Yes. Yes, that is exactly what you do, every time. Don't do that again.

YOU: Ryan...

Ryan: Y-yes?

YOU: Ry.

Ryan: What?

YOU: R-dog.

Ryan: What are you doing? 

YOU: I do have a question for you. Uh... The... The Apophis thing? Can you hear it all the time? Like, right now?

Ryan: Uh. No. He... Our brains are linked, but if He isn't, you know, directly Mouth-of-Sauroning me... It's more like I can feel His emotions. I can't hear his thoghts if He doesn't want me to.

YOU: Okay. Interesting.

Tracy: Do you know what his plans are?

Ryan: No. He hasn't told me if He had any. I don't think He does, honestly. He just... Breaks things? I mean, He's killing all those clones of us, I destroyed this world just by... By channeling His power. He's trying to smash His way into our world. He doesn't plan. The same way a, a hurrcane doesn't plan.

Tracy: Interesting!

Diana: This is interesting!

Antimony nods vaguely, tapping her cane rhythmically, like a tic.

Antimony: That is the impression I got while fighting it as well. It just... Laid into us, you know. Like a little kid swatting mosquitoes.

You can remember seeing that, although it was a few years ago, and you had been nursing a broken arm at the time. Your memory of the moment isn't entirely focused, in all honesty.

Alex: The Old Voice. Nyarl. The old rulers of this land. The demon said they escaped. True? 

Ryan: Yeah... They GOT AWAY. Uh... B-but we... I. Injured one of them. The short one. I think they're probably in Emerald Springs, somewhere.

Speaking of Emerald Springs, you would like to be there. Both because it would be comforting to be home and because you have work to do there. It would be nice to see the Zhu's again as well, they've sort of gone all in on trying to be everybody's surrogate parents, since the majority of you lack parental figures, either due to them being "dearly departed," as in your case, Ryan's case, and Wren's now as well, or "deeply sucky," as in the case of Tracy and Wren, again. Your friends are a festering group of dysfunctional traumatees. 

Is it all good here? Can you leave? Any last minute things you want to do on the dead husk of a lifeless world? Help yourself out here.

@azalea: yeah, balancing this stuff and school is pretty hard sometimes. especially if you have, like, five ongoing creative projects. it's all cool, it gave me time to work on a background story that i might post here! once it's, you know, finished.

~~

GET OUT OF DODGE==>

You look about the red tower, out the hole in the wall, into the black sand, blowing in a faint breeze, already covering the demon's corpse. At the twin moons in their starless sky, a sky swarming with small glowing insects. You look at your friends, tired, bleary-eyed, bruised and cut. Each of you aware that this is, in an incredibly real sense, an appetizer for the buffet of pain about to be served on the cruise ship, s.s. crusin for a brusin. A five star meal, consisting entirely of a righteous whoopin', about to be placed, pungent and steaming on platters and in pots, served for an audience of seven. And so, your thoughts are directed towards a single desire, cried out, like a captive soldier, just trying to warn his brother. Get. Out.

YOU: I... I think we should leave.

Alex: Okay, look, he said it, not me. Great. Let's... Goooo.

YOU: Hey, where did the phrase "Get out of Dodge " actually come from. It's just... In my head for some reason, I dunno.

Alex: Uh, Dodge City, Kansas. The show Gunsmoke was set there? And the main guy would tell criminals to, you know.

YOU: Get out of Dodge. Huh. The more you know. 

Ryan rolls his eye. Weirdly, the yellow eye doesn't move, it keeps staring straight ahead. Creepy!

Ryan: Look, that's fascinating and all, but can we, like, leave?

Tracy: Sassy man apocalypse .

Alex: Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're a war criminal now, dude. We'll... We'll let you know when you're allowed to be salty again.

Antimony: You said there is a portal upstairs? Those are a... Lot of stairs.

She points at her cane, smiling a little awkwardly. 

Antimony: I am just, you know, not sure I can... Without hurting myself, you know. And I do not think I can fly much more without passing out. I am fatigued, sorry.

Wren: It's cool, sweetie. I'll carry you.

Antimony: Thank you. 

Diana: I will get the legs, you grab her shoulders.

Antimony: What? No! Romantic bridal carry >:O

Wren: This is romantic.

Antimony: No, it is not! It is like you are preparing to swing me and throw me into a pool!

Diana: This is great, come on.

Man, you sure wish Ryan had used his boundless powers to make an elevator or something. HuOr just put the portal lower down, this is going to be a lot of climbing. Sure, you just vanquished a demon or whatever, but this may be your greatest enemy yet. Stairs. Lots of stairs.

YOU: Tracy, you should carry me. 

Tracy: Do you have chronic muscular pain? Because Antimony does.

YOU:(youre a chronic muscular pain)

Tracy: Huh?

YOU: I said yeah, you're right, my bad.

You start walking up the stairs, and about halway up, you vaguely remember that time your dad took you on a trip to the Oregon Coast. You remember walking up some lighthouse, all the way to the top, and realizing just how high something is capable of being. You were also kind of sick that day from eating some bad oysters, and so you threw up when you finally reached the top. Some guy who worked you passed you on your way down, carrying a mop and bucket. He gave you the evil eye, because you guess he had to go up all those stairs to clean it. Anyway, basically eating bad oysters is about as bad as getting beaten up by a demon, but at least you don't think you're gonna throw up.

Man, the walls are bare as all get out in here. Just a blinding red. No distinguishing features at all. No time for interior decoration, Ryan? Man, he should've put some tapestries on here, that would've been sick. 

Huh, you're almost to the top. Guess your meandering, internal monologue made you lose track of time again.

YOU: Hey... Ryan... Is there a lore reason why you chose to live in a giant tower with literally two rooms, and about a mile of stairs between them? Because that design isn't... Good. This does not spark joy, man.

Ryan: I wanted to put as much space as I could between myself and the portal. So if He took over, I would have plenty of time to take back control. And... Stop Him from getting to you.

YOU: ...oh

Wren: The fact that you kept trying to keep us safe shows that you're not a bad person, Ryan.

Ryan: Well that line sounded rehearsed. And, you know. We... I did blow up a planet. So, you know. Trying to make it harder to hurt my friends isn't exactly a saintly deed. It was security.

Wren: ...

Diana: She is just trying to make you feel better, jerk!

Ryan: I KNOW THAT! I... I know. I'm sorry. Thank you, all of you. For, you know. Coming here, and, and helping me.

You reach the top room, and see the portal. It isn't a black square like the others, it looks more like a tear cut in reality, a sickening bruise-purple, with burning red edges. It makes you feel ill to just look at. 

Ryan: I know the portal sort of looks... Evil? But all my magic or whatever looks like this. 

Diana: It looks cool! 

Ryan: Heh. I guess it does, yeah. You just, uh, walk through it. The... The previous portal had some time dilation problems... Since you used it to get in there will probably be some of that? But this doesn't have that issue so it'll be, you know, days instead of weeks.

Wren: This is going off of..? 

Ryan: Uh, stuff I understand cause of my Apostate powers. I, uh, tore this hole in reality myself.

YOU: Oh, that makes sense, y'know , when I got my knight powers I totally figured out, like, some zen crap and whatever, you know. Makes sense.

Tracy: I didn't figure anything out. But that's probably the fault of how I did it.

(Tracy eventually told you what they saw during their vision quest. It was something awful their father had done. You don't think about it, because it makes you very angry.)

Alex: Ryan, if you'd go in first so we know it's safe, that'd be great.

Ryan: I-I'm not trying to hurt you :(

Alex: Yeah, but have you ever used the portal before? Has anyone?

Ryan: N-no ...

Alex: Right. So if you'd go in first so we know it's safe, that'd be great.

Ryan: Right. Yeah.

He steps through the portal and disappears. You all stand around a bit and wait for him to come back through, but he doesn't.

YOU: Eh, if it's a trap it's a trap. Whatcha gonna do.

You step through , and falls directly into the living room of the Hawthorne Manor. Your friends appear shortly after.

Ryan: Yeah, there's no portal on this side, I guess. Sorry.

YOU: All cool. 

You're home. What do you do now?

CUTTING THINGS SHORT INTENTIONALLY WITH THE HAWTHORNES 

Your name is Alice Hawthorne, and you are fifteen years old. It’s raining today, and every time it does that, you get a little scared. Worried it’ll do what it did a year ago. But that won’t happen again, you don’t think so, anyway. This house… Well, you have three sisters, but it still feels big. You asked your dad why you need to live in such a big house, but he didn’t answer. He does that sometimes now. You’ll ask him questions and he’ll just stare straight ahead. Aubrey hates it the most. She wants to make him proud, you think. She’d deny that, obviously, but it’s there. Aniston doesn’t really care, she just sits around now anyway, smiling faintly. Resigned, maybe. 

Margo hates him. She’s out in the woods now, probably. Wandering with her sword through the ruined buildings out there, maybe fight something big. She has such a strong need for justice… That’s a good thing, mostly, but she can’t let things go, ever. 

You, you’re sitting in a pool room upstairs, drinking some awful diet cola, with no branding information on it, and listening to… what even is this?

YOU: What is this, Terrance?

Terrance: Oh, uh, it’s Daniel Johnston. 1990. Is the album name. Do you not like it?

Danielle: Terry, I say this with as much love as I can. I do not think anybody could possibly like this.

Terrance: That’s where you’re wrong, man. College radio loves this guy. 

YOU: College radio loves Jandek, Terrance. That doesn’t make it good. 

He smiles, and sits back in his red leather chair. He’s wearing a Bermuda shirt, like usual. He clutches his rosary, fidgeting with it absentmindedly. Danielle is sitting beside him, perched like a gargoyle, bone-thin arms wrapped around her bony knees. She speaks in her weird, monotonous rasp.

Danielle: Hey, I know you do not want to think about this, but do any of you know where Sketch is?

YOU: Eh. He’s around. You know. 

Terrance: Disappeared again? 

YOU: Well that’s a pretty extreme word for what he does. You know, there’s food in the fridge. And once we run out, there’s always the Aberdeen boy. Just down the road.

Danielle: Are you still messing with that poor boy?

She wags a finger in mock admonishment, and you giggle.

Terrance: I think you scare him, you know? 

YOU: He can deal with it. Margo’s teaching him to sword fight. Aniston’s friendly enough with him. He just… There’s something off about him. Like… Apophisy. 

Terrance: You’re absolutely right, dude. The twelve-year-old tagalong kid is aligned with the god of evil. I’m so glad that we’re on the same page here.

YOU: Shut up >:P

Danielle stands up, wobbling a little awkwardly. She points melodramatically toward the door.

Danielle: I think we should look for Sketch. We have not been assigned a mission in months now. I am getting restless. Margo is harming giant monsters in the forest for fun. It has gone too far.

YOU: I mean, Margo just kind of does that anyway. You can’t really-

Danielle: Okay. Pretend I gave a good, meaningful example instead, and you were like, wow, great point. I will… I will consider that.

Terrance: Okay… Done. Considered.

Danielle: And?

Terrance: And it would be something to do, yeah. 

YOU: I’m not sure interrupting his work would be such a good idea…

Danielle: You are a teenage girl! You have not rebelled yet, and this is your time. It is your time, Alice.

YOU: Hmm. Okay…

You leave with your friends, and you walk down the hallways. You know where your dad is, you all do, really, but it’s just kind of a commonly understood rule that you don’t interrupt him when he’s gone. You just Do Not Do That. But really, what’s he gonna do? Inconveniencing him is the least you can do. He deserves it. 

Terrance: Hey, your sister likes girls, right?

YOU: What? What the heck kinda question is that? Kinda impromptu, huh? Pretty… pretty random thing to ask. But Aubrey does, yeah.

Terrance: Hey, chill, man. I was just… I know some lesbians. I was trying to help out.

Danielle: He really does. Half his friends are lesbains. They line up around him, they observe him like a caged animal.

Terrance: No, but I’m sure they could. If, if they wanted to. I couldn’t stop them. But, you know, Aubrey’s been kinda a bummer lately. I wanted to cheer her up. And, you know, Aniston and Margo are kinda beyond cheering up. 

YOU: Yeah, that’s true. Margo already went full vengeance mode a year or so ago, and Aniston basically just likes being miserable. 

She does. You think she’s as happy as she could be, though. And a girlfriend would actually probably be sufficient cause to improve Aubrey’s mood.

YOU: Ugh. Okay. Who are you trying to set my sister up with.

Terrance: Look, all right, she lives in Stanwood but she visits an aunt here pretty much every weekend. How would Aubrey feel about an albino ballerina with missing fingers on her left arm and kinda grunge-ey style?

YOU: She’d definitely be into that. 

Terrance: Look okay yeah. No promises, but I’ll work my magic, dude. 

You are approaching the weird staircase that goes down into the tunnels. Or one of the staircases. Despite living here, in this house it sometimes feels like the architecture moves or shifts in order to get its occupants lost. It really leaves a bad impression on you! The staircase is tucked away in the wall, and it spirals downward, toward the weird tunnel basement. Terrance casually pulls out a dagger, tosses it in the air, and catches it by its handle.

YOU: You just have that on you?

Terrance: Huh? Yeah. It’s cool. We might need it, you know.

YOU: It looks really old.

Terrance: Yeah. Probably is, Margo found it in the woods. Told me “Zhu! You are without weapons! Take this!” And then she threw it at me, blade first, seriously. I-I could have died, man.

YOU: That was a really good Margo impression. 

You descend the stairs, into the tunnel. You look around. The tunnel isn’t empty. There’s a small figure standing there, in the middle of a hallway. It’s wearing a robe and a helmet. It turns to look at you, and you think it sort of looks like the alien-robot-thing from that old movie… The Day the Earth Stood Still? Yeah. That’s it. 

???: Hey kids! Looking for your dad, Alice?

YOU: Yeah… How do you know my name?

???: Oh, I know all sorts of things! Seriously! Like, hmmm… Well, I know that your dad is very angry right now. Maybe you shouldn’t look for him. I know that he’s been disappearing for weeks at a time since you and your sisters were six. I know that you’ve never met your mom… And… Well, I shouldn’t say. I shouldn’t say! 

YOU: What? Tell me!

???: Hehehe. “Customers for life.” Did you know that I could erase this moment from your minds, with the proper tools? Did you know that I have had plans for you since well before your birth? Did you know that even now, I have plans for your daughters?

Danielle: We are fifteen. We do not have children.

YOU: Yeah. And I can’t, biologically. Also, you know, I wouldn’t. 

???: Ever heard of a cloning bed?

YOU: What?

???: I guess you guys aren’t ready for that. But your kids are gonna love it. 

He cackles maniacally, and you roll your eyes. You’re 90% sure he ripped that line from Back to the Future. 

YOU: Just tell me what happened to my mom!

???: Oh, I’d love to. Nothing would make me happier, honest! But there are people out there, who like mysteries. They might be interested in figuring it out themselves. And, well, we want to keep them interested. 

YOU: Okay. Are these “people” in the room with us right now?

???: Hahaha! Not exactly! But rest assured, they can hear us. And, well, questions interest them considerably more than answers. If you just reveal everything, well, that’s boring! It’s much more fun to think that you have the answer, but just… have that… lack of certainty. Besides, that’s a third act reveal at least! And that won’t be for another thirty or so years. Mmm. A little less, probably.

Terrance: Man, I don’t think this little guy actually knows anything. Let’s just keep moving. 

The guy almost leaps to stop him.

???: You’re wrong, hippie!

Terrance: Hipp-

???: Alice… Your father won’t let you call him dad, will he? When he gets a temper, he says he isn’t your dad, doesn’t he? Ever wondered why?

YOU: Uh, I figured because he… might not actually be a man? Like, be transgender? Like all his children?

???: Huh. Ha! That’s a decent interpretation, isn’t it! But… no. No, walk down this tunnel, You’ll see.

YOU: … Okay. I don’t think I like you. 

Danielle: I absolutely do not like him. 

???: Oh yeah? What if I haunted your daughter’s dreams for years as a punishment for you disliking me? And erased your memory of this conversation so you wouldn’t even know why?!

Danielle: Well… I do not have a daughter, but I would probably think you were being very petty.

???: Well, think nothing of it! I mean, you will think nothing of it. Hahaha! Brain erasure humor. 

You roll your eyes and turn to walk down the tunnel. The guy keeps yelling at you as you walk. Yip yip yip yip yip, you’re not even listening. You keep walking until you reach the door. It’s locked, but you know the code. You open it.

Oh. Hm.

Your father is sitting on a stool. He is looking at a glass tube. There is a body in a tube. He turns to you and smiles, or, more accurately, his lips roll up over his gums.

Sketch: Hello.

YOU: Is that a… A body?

Sketch: You… Shouldn’t… be here.

He stands up, the stool falling to the ground. He moves forward with the fury of a caged animal, face contorting with hate.

Sketch: None of you should be here!

(it doesn’t end there, but we end it here.)

@azalea: our protagonists were born in about 2001-2002. it's currently 2020 in terminal-time, and the first two acts are in... 2016 or 2017, i guess. the parents were fifteen... so, um, early nineties? they were all in their early 20s when they had kids, so i will say about '95 for the last story?

uh, word problems with LE i guess. i think i did ok but please don't check my math it's probably awful 

~~

STOCKPILE==>

You guess the Apophis fighting might happen really soon! You got to make sure you're prepared... Hm. Well, you have a sword, but you aren't entirely sure that all your friends are adequately armed. You can actually probably help them with that. Your dad left a huge collection of swords in the house. Most of them are pretty crappy, with, like, sheet metal blades nd whatever, but there are some cool ones there too. Like, steel tempered by stoic masters and suchlike. Some real samurai stuff back there. You probably don't need all these swords, but hey, that's your dad's stuff. And what are you going to do, sell them?  Say "hey, I'm an eighteen year old who's been orphaned and living in my deceased father's house with my partner since I was sixteen, also I want to sell you a pile of unlicensed swords." That would end just awesomely, you're absolutely certain. Nooo problems there, no sir.

Okay, and you managed to get off topic in your own head. You wonder what you look like to other people when you do this. Probably just insane. 

YOU: Hey, you guys wanna go get swords at my house?

Diana: Awesome, yes!

Antimony: :D

YOU: Yeah, we're gonna look like a bunch of sick suburban knights. I mean, we don't necessarily know that we'll be fighting Apophis today, but they have sheathes for a reason, man, and it's not just looking super cool. That's, like, reason number... Two.

Wren: Hm. What's reason number three.

YOU: To, to put your sword in.

Wren: Okay, and, for curiosity's sake, what might reason number one be?

YOU: You, know, I'm glad that you didn't ask about number four, because beyond the top three I haven't actually done any ranking, but reason one is because it's a tribute to the last good mayor this town had, the late, great Charles "the big man" Aberdeen.

Diana: Hey!  >:O

YOU: Oh, did I upset you, Diana?

Antimony: You know perfectly well that her dad is mayor now! >:|

YOU: Look, Diana, I'm certain your dad is doing a good job. I mean, he's not associated with any cults as far as I'm aware, and that's good, y'know. But, uh, you know, nobody is gonna beat my boy Big Charlie A. 

Alex: Everything you say is really weird, man.

YOU: I, I don't understand this aggression. 

Your friends have already begun to walk outside, and you lag behind, standing beside Tracy, feeling the weight of the little box in your back pocket. You'd give your last eye to be able to do this the normal way, but you're totally gonna have to speed up this proposal thing to make sure it happens before you all potentially perish. Together, in the most romantic fight with a giant eyeball imaginable. 

Ryan is walking ahead, every muscle tense in his body, with this deep, determined rage apparent in every motion. Dude, the glow up is unreal. Shame it took incalculable amounts of corruption. You gotta stop being attracted to danger. But he's so cool. Tracy is watching him as well, and you make a gesture of mock admonition, which they respond to by pantomiming deep pain. Haha, you're in love and stuff.

Wren checks her phone, friggin screenagers, and her face lights up with... Confusion? A tiny sorrow, passing in moments?

Wren: Happy late birthday to me, guys. 

Antimony: What? :O

Wren: It's the sixth. I am nineteen years old, I guess.

Ryan: Yeah, that makes sense. Time stuff, remember. Look... I can, uh, feel that something is distinctly wrong. I...

He opens the door. 

It's raining. It's not sprinkling, not drizzling. It isn't a mistake or a light rain. Thick raindrops fall, hard and cold, in their fullness. There is wind enough to tear into the pine trees and rain enough that the curbsides run with rainwater like little terrible streams.

There's thunder, actual thunder, shaking the sky. It is a storm. And you can look straight ahead and see this dark dome rising up from the ground, and you can feel Him struggling against His chains.

And then some guy comes runing out from a bush, with an insane expression on his face and long, greasy hair. 

Ryan: Will?

Will: Ryan?

Huh. It is Will. He's looked... Better.

Anyway, what do you do?

@celine: yep... COVID did not happen in the terminal universe! however, no evil gods have attempted to invade our universe for the express purpose of tormenting six reincarnate teenagers in our timeline, so we might be a little better off than them in the long term, you know? your mileage may vary! 

THAT'S IT, PROPOSE. ==>

You look at Will. What a sad sack. Purple eye bags, long, unwashed hair. He looks white as a sheet, too. The universe seems to be laboring under the impression that Will is somehow important to you, and you're savvy enough to understand that the universe functions much like a narrative. Essentially, if this is the sort of thing existence is gonna throw at you, you've got to improve your game. You gotta do this. 

Will: Hahaha! I've finally found you, and now you-

YOU: Sorry Will, I'm gonna ask that you briefly put a pin in that bit of conversation, and move this little discussion in the direction of something productive.

Will: What?

YOU: Look, just throw me a bone here, I have something important to do, sorry to snatch up your moment, dude, but here we are.

Will: ... Ok?

You get down on one knee, and Wren's mouth drops open. She appears to be making a shrieking noise higher than the human ear can comprehend. Diana and Antimony start giggling. Tracy looks at you, expectantly.

YOU: Uh, hold on, I, uh, have it in my back pocket. 

You dig around, and pull out the little box, and open it.

Tracy:... Dude.

YOU: Uh, if I were a better boyfriend I'd have a speech prepared, but I'm gonna be freestyling, so, sorry. Uh, I love you. You know, people say you can't love someone if you don't first love yourself, but, uh, codependency exists, you know, and my love for you is completely divorced from me. Because, I'll love you if you marry me, and I'll love you if you say no. If you leave right now, I will love you. I will love you if you don't live past the end of this week, and I will love you if we live to see triple digits. I will love you all the way into the mouth of the Enemy. I guess. And, you know, this isn't so much an offer to get engaged and have your parents meet my parents, because my dad is dead, and your dad is horrible. You know, we're never gonna stand in a field in suits at the feet of an officiator, because we're probably maybe not going to be around that long. But, you know, however long we live, I just want to spend that time with you. Bound as close to you as I can be. And we can tell people we're married, what are they gonna do, say we're lying? 

Tracy:...

YOU: The, uh, ring isn't great. They're actually really expensive, the ring was just, like three hundred dollars, uh, sorry if that-

Tracy: We're married, dawg.

YOU: Oh, cool. 

Tracy: Not legally. But yeah, who cares about that. We know we're married, awesome. I'm gonna put the ring on now. 

They do. Right on the ring finger of their withered hand. You look over and see Wren obviously trying not to cry. She's grinning, with tears welling in her eyes, giving a huge cheesy thumbs up. Diana and Antimony are smiling like a pair of scavengers smelling rot, which is to say that they're happy for you, why can't you phrase things normally? Even Alex and Ryan look happy for you. Heck, Will appears to be openly weeping. Okay. You do wish he wasn't here for this. 

YOU: All right, glad you accepted. It'd be pretty awkward if you didn't.

Tracy: Yeah, can you imagine, breaking up right before Avengers Endgaming it? 

YOU: That would be almost cartoonist levels of misery. That would be Funky Winkerbeanian in it's depressing nature. Batiuk would smile like a malevolent god down upon us.

Wren: I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU GUYS.

Antimony: Are you crying?

Wren: NO.

(She is)

Antimony: It's okay if it got to you, honey! This is incredible.

Alex: Yeah, Sam , I thought you were just doing a bit back in Garbage Narnia. I didn't think you were actually going to propose.

Tracy: My husband has never done a bit in his life.

YOU: They're right, Alex. I've never made a joke, ever. I'm always serious. Willy Wonka is real, and he will cause you incalculable harm in deeply ironic ways. Old Testament law is alive and well in his manic little form.

Alex: STOP TALKING ABOUT WILLY WONKA

YOU: Oompa loompa doompity doo/I got hitched before any of you.

Alex: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP 

YOU: Moments ago I got down on one knee/And asked my partner to marry me/Actually communicating the way that you feel/Makes your issues seem like no big deal.

Alex: STOP IT

Diana: Someone call a local-based grocer... Because these beats are... F-fresh.

YOU: Thanks for having my back, Diana. Good... Good try.

Will flails around manically.

Will: You all forgot about Will! He... I have stuff that's important too! Me! Will! Remember me?! 

Oh yeah. Will. You're glad he reminded you about himself. You forgot about him.

Ehh... Is there anything else that's more important than Will, or can you let him say his piece?

ill be real, i considered having COVID happen, but that would be almost ridiculously mean. the... the kids have enough to deal with, they don't also need COVID. that would be... that would be terrible.

uhh, we're almost done with chapter one? and, it feels like we sped through it, but it's already longer than most chapters, if you count the prologue and interludes. good job guys, im not crying 

oh congratulations to my fictional characters for pretending to be married. 

also uh there's bold italics in this one, if it shows up wrong im gonna flip, sorry, i know stuff like that ruins immersion, it makes me upset too.

~~ 

LET WILL TALK==> 

You decide you can safely pretend this guy is important now. He's alright in your book anyway. Maybe you oughta stop hating on the poor man. Let him say his piece. He's a nice guy, despite looking insane and stuff. 

YOU: Yeah, dude, if Wren okays it, you can talk. 

Wren: Why if I specifically okay it? 

YOU: You're the leader. 

Wren: I am, that's right. You can talk. 

Will smiles, scratching his face absentmindedly. Jeez Louise, his eyes look sunken in. He looks like he hasn't slept since forever. His skin is almost as pale as yours.

Will: Thanks, Wren. We are... We are similar, are we not?

Wren: Uhh...

Will: Not... Not in a creepy way.

Ryan: There isn't really a non-creepy way to interpret that, dude.

Will: Well, you'd be the resident expert on creepy, wouldn't you, mister disappears for months and returns with previously absent heterochromia?

Antimony: Haha, you just got owned, Ryan. Right? Owning is what just transpired, correct? 

Diana: From the social cues present, I assume so.

Will: I mean it! There's something different about us! I read Percy Jackson when I was little, you know? The mist, or whatever? That's real isn't it? But it's not supernatural at all, it's... After... After the dance, in junior year! Our whole school was there, and do you remember what the papers said? They called it a hostage situation, said some criminal syndicate was behind it! And almost all the kids there said that was what happened! Not because they couldn't see the demon, or remember the cult and... And the Eye... But because it's so much easier to pretend it was normal, and it's so easy to convince yourself that that's what happened. To block out what you saw...

As he speaks, his voice drops steadily, and he looks down. At the end, his head snaps up, and he grins manically, kind of creeping you out.

Will: But us... We're different! We remember! We're on another level, plain and simple! Hahaha! And... And once you see Them once, you don't stop... I've seen big things out in the water! Things running through the forest! I... I've seen things! All the people we used to go to school with... They won't talk to you, because they know you had something to do with the dance, but to acknowledge that would be to know they're wrong. Ha! They won't look at me, because I didn't forget, because I won't lie to myself like they will. All I've got now is Bill... He's... Better than I deserve. But you...

He looks at you crazily.

Will: I know you.

YOU: What do you want, Will?

Alex: Also, for the record, nobody really liked us even before the dance.

Tracy: That's true.

Will: Heh. I was snooping in the dumpsters around the Town Hall, looking for Lizard Person Skin. They... They're real, DON'T LAUGH AT ME

YOU: Nobody is laughing, Will. This is a safe space.

Diana: I believe in Lizard people.

Wren: (wait, you do?)

Will: Your dad saw me, Diana. He's the mayor, which I didn't know, because I no longer consume any media, because I'm too busy LOOKING FOR THEM, but don't worry, he blinks normally, not horizontally, he's not a lizard person.

Diana and Antimony both look genuinely relieved. 

Will: He told me that he'd buy me a hamburger if I'd do something for him, because I think he thought I was homeless, and after I ate the burger, he asked me to wait outside this house for a bit, and see if anyone came in or out, because I think he thought you were dead. So I came over here and found Sam's dead body, but it was younger than him, so I just buried it in the backyard.

YOU: Gross.

Will: And now I've been camping in your bushes for three days, and I guess I found you. Diana's dad wants to see you. 

Wren: Thanks, Will.

Alex: You're alright, Will. I think you might be crazy, but you're alright.

Will: Thanks. Also, congrats on transitioning. You look really nice. 

Alex: Thanks? 

Will: Ryan, congrats on growing a beard. I knew you had it in you.

Ryan: ...

Will: It was a joke , man.

Ryan:...

Ryan: :D

Ryan smiles, or rather, every muscle in his face stiffens simultaneously. He looks as if rigor mortis is setting in, and his posture changes to an almost animalistic stance.

Ryan: SLAVES. SUBMIT. IN FEAR. NOT ONLY TO THE GOOD AND JUST, BUT TO THE UNJUST MASTER. FOR IT IS...PLEASING TO ME THAT YOU SHOULD BEAR THE BRUNT OF UNJUST SUFFERING. 

He laughs, a monotonous shriek. That's clearly not Ryan.

What to do? 

~~

again , if it isn't bold italics at the end i apologize. the frowniest of faces.