PREPARE FOR VISIT ==>

You change out of the t-shirt and sweatpants you were sleeping in and into the... t-shirt and sweatpants you're wearing today. The t-shirt is one of your favorites, a red shirt with a broken record on it. You keep your sunglasses on, of course. You walk out into the hall, floorboards creaking below you. You absent-mindedly run a pick through your hair, and brush your teeth. The toothpaste is thick, and slightly gritty. 

You make your way slowly toward the kitchen. Your house is fairly big, your dad is old money. Not to mention his job. You reach your kitchen quickly, due to the unusually quick pace you walk at. You go to the fridge, and glance at a note stuck to your fridge.

Son:

My presence is required at work today.
I feel safe in the assumption that you will be able to care for yourself today.
As always, warm regards:

And then your father has signed, eith his inelligible signature. There's twenty dollars stuck to the paper, for lunch, you assume. Or dinner. Never mind what a long trek it is down into town, let alone back uphill. He doesn't think about things like that. You take the money anyway. Why not. 

You open the freezer below the fridge, and, removing a hot pocket, you heat it up in the microwave.

There is a misconception about the paranoid. That they spend all moments in a state of perpetual existential dread. This is, plainly, untrue. They spend most moments doing something normal, benign even. At this moment, perhaps they are microwaving a hot pocket. The microwave will soon beep its two-note song.They will eat their hot pocket, and by about the third bite... that is when the existential dread will set in.

The microwave beeps. 

You eat your hot pocket.

You feel a deep existential dread begin to set in. You walk speedily out of your House, and into the garage. Your bicycle is to the side. It isn't a far walk to Hawthorne Manor at all, but you still wonder if you ought to take your bike...

What do you do? 

WALK==>

You decide that walking for five minutes honestly isn't that big an investment. You pull the cord that opens the garage, and it grinds against itself, steadily wailing as it opens. A cool breeze drifts in, and you walk out of the garage.

WAIT, NO, BIKE==>

You suddenly reconsider your decision, speedily striding back to your bicycle. What if you need to leave somewhere quickly? What if you decide to ride into town? There are actually quite a few reasons you might need your bike. Your father has five stone plaques hanging in the living room, one which he personally engraved the One Hundred And Fifty Two Aberdeen Family Tenets. You are reminded of the Seventy-Second Tenet: Better safe than sorry. You are also reminded of the Ninety-Sixth Tenet: When going out, bring your bike, and wear a coat if it's under fifty degrees, you'll catch your death. 

You hop on your red bike, and you put up the kickstand. You begin to ride.

You like your bike. Riding feels freeing, in a weird way.  Trees and houses passing like seconds. Cool wind blowing all around you. Chilling your skin just a little. There are thin white sheets of clouds gathering at the edges of the sky. 

You reach Hawthorne Manor. You gaze down the cliff beside you at the town. You pause for a moment, listening to cars heading up and down the hill. In it's own slow way, the town is coming alive. You take a deep breath, and end up coughing. You hop off your bike, and leave it by the open gate. 

What do you do next? 

ENTER WITH CONFIDENCE AND ELEGANCE ==>

Entering with elegance will be easy, that comes naturally to you. Confidence, possibly less so. It's only...You check your watch...9:30 in the morning. You worry a bit about waking people up. But... Oh well. Diana will definitely be up, at least. She's an early riser. 

You stride past the iron gate, heading up the sidewalk, and toward the door, and, specifically, the knocker beside it. You reach out to knock, and...

The door swings open, before you even get the chance. It's Diana. 

Diana: SAM!

YOU: Hey, dude. Good to see you. Were you, uh... just standing at the door?

Diana: Maybe...

YOU: That's cool. Any particular reason?

Diana: I was testing something out. I can explain in more detail with help from Wren and Alex, but, suffice to say, I have developed a skill for predicting the course an action will lead down.

YOU: Oh, cool. Alex is Wren's cousin, yeah? 'S he a nice guy?

Diana: He is... An acquired taste. But he is lovely when you get to know him.

YOU: So, no, he isn't.

She makes a small, irritated humming noise, but regains her composure and invites you in.

The house looks about the same as you remember, so you guess the presence of Diana and her parents haven't affected it too much. Huh, you wonder why that happened. Better ask inconspicuously.

YOU: So, uh, what's it like living with your girlfriend?

Diana: So far? Fantastic! I can see her whenever I want, we can choose to be in the same place or to give each other space... And it is cool to know that we can share a space without getting sick of one another. Like a test run for when we get married!

YOU: Huh. That's pretty far down the line, Diana.

Diana: Well yes, but it is a certainty. So I might as well prepare.

YOU: That's real sweet. Why are you living here anyway?

So much for subtlety. You kinda suck at this. 

Diana: Well, I imagine you notice we were missing for a while. 

YOU: Yeah.

Diana: It is... Okay. It is hard for me to explain what I mean, but... well... It is hard to explain. Wren and Alex will do better than me, probably? We will see, I suppose. Iy is a confusing story.

YOU: Yeah, well, I'll be receptive as I can.

She smiles.

Diana: I know you will, Sam. 

What do you do next? 

@azalea: no messing is good i love messing. that's what i'm going for, after that uncharacteristically dramatic and action packed end to act one. a return to simpler times, and shenanigans!

~~

SHOUT YOO-HOO==>

You do exactly that, stepping into the kitchen area, and shouting down a hallway to your left, which you belive contains Wren's room, if you go far enough. It echoes back at you. This house is really atrociously large. 

Wren: Sam, you really didn't have to do all that...

The response comes from behind you, and you turn to see Wren, someone you assume is Alex, and a thirty-something looking woman wearing an eyepatch sitting in the family room, Wren and Alex sitting on a couch, and the woman who might be Alex's mom sitting on a recliner. So, they were in the opposite direction from the one you were calling in. Yeah, embarrassing. 

Alex at least didn't hear you. He's wearing a set of headphones and doing something on a laptop. But Wren is failing to surpress a smile, and Alex's mother is openly snickering at you.

Wren: Really good to see you, Sam. 

You nod a silent affirmation. Wren is wearing a fluffy pink bathrobe, and a pair of slippers. She has her legs crossed, and she's holding a mug of something in her hands. Behind her oversized, round glasses, her normally wide, staring eys are baggy and half-lidded.

Someone's a morning person.

Wren: Did you need something? Or were you just dying to yell in my house at...

She quickly glances at a clock 

Wren: About 9:30. I can't read that. I need a a new prescription. 

YOU: I uh, did actually need something. 

Wren: Oh. Shoot, man.

You lean to the side slightly. Diana walks over to the couch, sitting down next to Wren.

YOU: Diana was, uh... She was saying that you guys had something to explain to me. About  how and why you guys were missing...

Wren exhales slowly.

YOU: Oh, dude, It's totally fine if you don't feel like explaining yourself. You don't, like, owe me anything, or-

Wren: We do owe you an explanation, Sam. But... It would probably be a little easier to sell you on it if we had... visual aids. 

You have to admit, that piques your interest a good deal. You respond casually, careful not to overplay your hand.

YOU: Well, I'm down to see whatever. 

Wren: Cool. 

She stands up. Diana does as well. 

Alex's mom: Look, while Diana's parents are at work, I have to play the role of resposible adult, so.. where are you taking the poor boy?!

Diana: To see the big guy, Ms. Hawthorne.

Alex's mom: Oh, well... Yeah, okay. And hey, pkease just call me Alice.

Diana: Oh, sorry Ms Haw- Um...

Wren: Aunt Alice, I... I'm not sure that Deen is physically even capable of not respecting authority. 

Alice smiles.

Alice: I see.

Wren: Alex, you coming?

Alex: Uh, nah, I'm watching ENA.

Wren: Oh, I understand.

YOU: Yeah, fair.

Wren and Diana lead you up a staircase, leading to a rather long hallway.  This hallway is, at least, brighter than the majority of the house. Electric bill must be crazy here. You turn to Diana, who's walking at a sprint to keep up.

YOU: I like the hair. Still, I mean. It's good. 

Diana: Yes, well, in a few days, we will see if our esteemed classmates agree with that assessment. 

True enough. You are being led into what looks like a pool room? Yep, there's a pool table. There's also a mini-fridge, and, standing beside it...

Oracle: HELLO, KNIGHT!!!!

WHAT IS THAT?

WHAT DO YOU DO?! 

SPRINT IN FEAR ==>

You turn, terrified of the bizarre, hulking, bellowing monstrosity. You sprint out the door to the pool room, and the thing behind you lunges at you, grabbing the neck of your shirt, and lifting you over it's head.

Diana: Sam! Don't worry! That is the Oracle! It is... 

She clicks her tongue.

Diana: Ah, well, It beat up my dad, so it is not... Harmless? But...

Wren: It's generally well-intentioned.

Diana: Yeah! That! Thank you.

YOU: AAAHHHH IT PICKED ME UP OHHHHH GAAAAAHHH IT'S A GIANT BUG PERSON HELP

You're twitching around, gesticulating wildly, pounding against the shiny black carapace that covers the creature. It chuckles. 

Oracle: HAHAHA!! THERE IS GREAT FIRE IN YOU, KNIGHT! I AM PLEASED TO HAVE FINALLY MET YOU! YOU, MY BOY, ARE ONE OF THE SIX GREAT HEROES WHO SHALL ONE DAY TRIUMPH OVER APOPHIS!

You have absolutely no idea what this thing is even talking about. You're freaking out.

Wren: Hey, Oracle. Could you, uh, put him down? That looks a little uncomfortable.

YOU: Yep! Yeah! Uncomfortable!

Oracle: HAHAHA! PROMISE NOT TO FLEE, BOY?!

YOU: AhahahaYEP!!!

It sets you down, suprisingly gently. You wobble to and fro, before collapsing to your knees. You exhale slowly. The Oracle reaches down, picking you up, and setting you down on your feet. You walk over to an armchair by the pool table, collapsing into a chair. 

Wren: Well, okay. I think you can see why we needed to show you this before you'd believe our story. 

Yes, that's right. There's a story. How could you forget. You're already feeling a little tired.

Diana: I mean, you likely would not have exactly believed that something... Uh, someone, sorry. But, you would not have believed this without some context, am I correct?

YOU: Yes. Yeah. You have a point. I guess. 

Wren: Okay, so. The Oracle is far from the only sort of strange thing that it turns out exists. Diana's met a brain alien, we've met a little dream person who was like... a gray goblin in disguise?

Diana: Goblin? Nyarl looked more like a Gray Alien. To me, at least.

Wren: Gray Alien?

Diana: Uh, like... You know. Encounters of the Third Kind? 

Wren: Oh! Yeah, okay. But, the big weird ears... Goblin-esque, right?

Diana: Hmm, I-

YOU: You were, uh... Saying something before the whole derailment.

Wren: Oh yeah, right. Um, we saw a giant, like... Woodsman, thing. Some ancient god? Oh, and also the God of evil.

YOU: Oh, yeah. Great. God of evil.

Diana: It was not great! >:(

Wren: Yeah, He, like... deadnamed me? Which sucks in, just... a bizarrely childish way? Like an eight-year-old who just discovered prejudice. And He had to use, like, supernatural powers to ascertain my deadname. I mean, that's insane. why would He feel the need to that?

Diana: Yeah, I do not like that guy! 

YOU: Yeah, okay. So, what I am to understand is that you guys have spent the past couple months on some big, crazy adventure, right?

Diana: We entered a parallel world of some sort, and time worked differently there, so it was not two months for us.

YOU: Oh, yeah. Of course.

Wren: Yeah, it's a lot to process.

Oracle: THAT IS PRECISELY WHY YOU HAVE BEEN BROUGH HERE, KNIGHT!!! YOU MUST BE BREWING  WITH QUESTIONS!!!! I AM AN ENDLESS REPOSITORY OF EXPOSITION, MY BOY! SO, ASK AWAY!!

What do you ask? 

ASK THE ORACLE WHAT IT IS==>

You decide that's a fairly logical question to leap off from. Besides, best to mainly consider what is directly in front of you. Keep yourself from going of the deep end. 

YOU: Okay. I guess... What exactly are you? Or...Or who are you, sorry.

Oracle: NO OFFENSE TAKEN, MY BOY! WHAT, WHO... BOTH ARE ACCURATELY DESCRIPTIVE! I AM THE ORACLE, MY BOY! A BEING CURSED TO FOREVER WANDER THE EARTH, UNABLE TO DIRECTLY INFLUENCE EVENTS, BUT ABLE ONLY TO TRAIN AND PREPARE HEROES, SUCH AS YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS! I CAN SEE ALL POSSIBLE FUTURES, AND I AIM TO MAKE THE BEST POSSIBLE ONE OCCUR! FOR CENTURIES, I HAVE PREPARED HEROES TO COMBAT APOPHIS, DREAD GOD OF EVIL, AND HIS FOUL WORSHIPPERS HERE ON EARTH. NONE HAVE SUCCEEDED IN DESTROYING HIM, BUT THEY HAVE SUCCESSFULLY MANAGED TO KEEP HIM BOUND, TRAPPED OUTSIDE OF OUR REALITY. BUT OFTEN AT A TERRIBLE PRICE.

YOU: Okay, so... We're, like... Prophesied to defeat Apophis, or...

Oracle: TO SAY YOU ARE "PROPHESIED" WOULD BE AN OVERSTATEMENT. THERE IS REAL POTENTIAL FOR FAILURE. LISTEN, BOY. ALL HUMANS HAVE IMMENSE POTENTIAAL FOR GREAT RIGHTEOUSNESS OR WICKEDNESS. ALL HUMANS ARE BORN WITH "MYTHIC ROLES" TO FULFILL. MOST HUMANS NEV ER REALIZE THEIR POTENTIAL.

YOU: And... How do you realize your potential?

Oracle: STRENGTH IN THE FACE OF GREAT SUFFERING.

Wren: Essentially you get traumatized repeatedly, I think.

Oracle: ... A GROSS OVERSIMPLIFICATION. BUT, YES. AS FOR YOUR MYTHIC ROLE, YOU ARE A KNIGHT, KNIGHT. YOU WILL EITHER GROW INTO A GREAT, HEROIC MASTER, WITH HONOR AND STRENGTH, OR A VENGEFUL, RAGE-FILLED MONSTER. ALL MYTHIC ROLES ARE DOUBLE SIDED.

Diana: Yes, I am a Seer, which means I get strange dreams, premonitions, and I naturally know things I shouldn't! However, I think there is also a 50% chance of my visions driving me insane? Was... Is that correct?

Oracle: YES! 

YOU: Okay, that sucks man. I'm sorry to hear that. 

Diana: Eh, it is fine. 

YOU: Okay, so now that you've explained my Dungeons and Dragons class in real life, what is this.. Apophis guy?

Oracle: AN IDIOT CHILD IN GOD FORM. HE LASHES OUT AGAINST REALITY, MAINLY DUE TO HIS INABILITY TO CONCEPTUALIZE ANY OTHER OPTION. PICTURE A PERSON WHO, WHEN CONFRONTED WITH AN... AN ANTHILL, LET'S SAY, WILL INVARIABLY KICK IT. A PERSON WITH NO CONCEPT OF THEIR ABILITY TO INTERACT WITH THE ANTHILL IN ANY MANNER THAT IS NOT DESTROYING IT, NOR A CONCEPT OF SIMPLY IGNORING THE ANTHILL. THIS IS WHAT HE IS. IMPOSSIBLY CRUEL, AND UNABLE TO COMPREHEND ANYTHING OUTSIDE OF THAT VERY CRUELTY. 

YOU: So, basically, he's... Bad.

Oracle: INDEED.

Hm. Any other questions? Or is there an action you would like to perform? 

Lord Entropy, Admin requests that Oracle not speak in all capital letters. It's like shouting. A few words are OK, but please not all its speech. Thank you.

Admin