Chatterbox: Inkwell

I would like some constructive critisims for this story I'm working on! Please tell me what you like, what you don't like, and what you think works and what you think doesn't work. 

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Preface: The Loss of a Hero 

An eerie breeze wound its way through the tall, craggy peaks, stretching like fingers up to the crescent moon and stars. A silver glow seemed to be reflected off from the gray spires and disappeared into the canyons between. It was midnight, a time of quiet, a time of peace, that not even the animals were awake to disturb.

The sliver of a moon gave just enough light to reveal a small village, perched precariously along the narrow cliffs of the mountain. Long wooden bridges stretched between one peak to another, bridges that swayed gently in the breeze and connected the whole village. The village was quiet and had the impression of holding its breath, any children that cried were quickly silenced by the parents for the night was far from safe.

Far from the village, tucked away between two of the tallest peaks, was a large cave, which snaked its way through the narrow mountains and burrowed deep into their depths. For the past hours the cave had groaned and creaked from a furious fight inside of it, but, for now, it was calm.

“Give it up, Novoga.” a deep, craggy voice growled. “You look tired.” 

A high, thin voice let out a loud chuckle, “You don’t look much better than I, Djvann.”

The two foes looked at each other from across the cave and frowned. Both were covered with scrapes and scratches, Djvann with a long cut running from shoulder down to hand and shadowy Novoga looked less black and more gray. 

“You’re the last of your kind, Novoga. Give up and join them in death.” Djvann hissed.

Novoga swelled up with anger and let out a low snarl. “I might be defeated, but I can at least choose my resting place! Mark my words, you haven’t seen the last of me!”

Djvann’s brow furrowed in anger and he snapped, “You have been sealed here, in this cave, for me to take care of at my leisure, no I won’t be seeing you again!” 

Novoga reached out its long, greasy hand and laid it on Djvann’s shoulder who started to shiver from the touch.

“Your time has ended, death comes for you and not me.” 

Then, quick as lightning, Novoga wraps itself around Djvann and quickly snaps his neck. He falls to the ground, eyes going blank and gray as the life slips out of him. 

And far away, the village felt Djvann die and a part of them died with him, and the world felt their pain.