Yeah i was cracking up while writing that part lol *parents stare*

Yup all those are good corrections. I'll make them.

This is really great! I'm glad I've found someone who can actually help me make corrections! Thanks Flamie (also your name is cool but i don't wanna mispell it so i'll use the nickname.

Also the flashbacks are part of a lot of foreshadowing (even though they go back in time i know) to the reason for them at all!  

Next part:

The Storm

“Storm at two o’clock, captain, and moving fast!” Tony sang from the mast.

"I see it!” Marren rolled her eyes, wishing Tony had never shown his round face. This lookout is always about ten minutes late. She twisted the helm, hard, and the ship swung to port.

It had been a week since the Battle of the Sunken Hearts, and the hero of it, Marty Griffin, was snoozing on the deck under a salty blanket.

Marren smiled fondly at him. She liked her young apprentice more and more every day. When asked what they should do with Stygian and his crew, he had thoughtfully replied that they should send them to art school; and that was precisely what they had done. Marren snickered at the thought of pirate king Stygian up to his knees at a desk in a classroom. Ah, victory was sweet! 

Marren bent and brushed Marty’s hair off his eyelids. He mumbled something in his sleep and caught hold of her hand.

She stood there, afraid to pull away, as he clung on tighter.

Stop that, Marren you fool, she thought at herself as she squeezed his hand gently. You mustn’t fall in love; not again; not with this boy of all people!

For she had fallen once already; fallen into the shaft of love, and her screams were still echoing across the chambers—for the fall of love had no beginning and no end, and it can span universes; and she was trapped in it like a fly in a spider’s web.

“8,000 strides, captain!

The storm had crossed the wall—and for the second time in her life, Marren felt afraid.

“6,000 strides, captain!”

Rats in the rigging; it was moving fast. Marren sailed as she had never sailed before.

ab

Marty awoke from a storm-tossed sleep. A great wind was shrieking over the deck. Raindrops the size of grapes struck the hull; and the masts creaked ominously. The waves were roiled as never before; great giants of spray and water, and they drenched Marty’s light blond hair.

“4,000 strides, captain!”

Marty shuddered with the pure power of it. Despite the fact that he knew it was such a storm that had taken his father’s life, he still felt elated by its wildness. “What’re we going to do?” he asked Marren.

“Tack around, catch the storm winds, sail alongside them, and then, as we curve around the edge of the storm, turn as hard as we can and sail back to Boundary,” she answered grimly. “It’s our only chance.”

“So we sail sideways along the storm?” Marty enquired.

Marren didn’t get to answer.

Suddenly another wave rose up with a howl and bore down upon the deck. Marty at the rail didn’t have a chance; he was swept overboard.

For once, Tony didn’t miss a beat. “20,000—MARTY! MARTY OVERBOARD!”

However, he was somehow late again. Marren, who’d been standing by Marty, saw him get swept off and flung herself to the bow, where coils of rope were kept for just such an occurrence.

The chilling waves washed over Marty’s hair. Struggling to keep his head above water, he realized that he had never before felt so lost and helpless. There was nothing he could do, in the thirty-fathom deep sea, to save himself. He had to count on others.

Soaked to the skin, the rain lashing her face, Marren stood at the bow with her red hair flying. Marty flailed about, watching her scan the sea.

“Over here,” he tried to call, but a wave crashed over him, burying his words in its salty torrents. Coughing, he surfaced, but farther away. Marren was shouting his name, barely heard above the roar of the approaching storm.

1,200 strides away, the storm swelled and boiled.

Marty struggled to swim, the currents tugging at his body. Just then, Tony’s sharp lookout eyes spotted his flailing form in the distant sea.

“There!”

But he was too far away for even the longest, most skillfully-thrown rope.

It was time for a decision.

Marren looked out at Marty, struggling to stay above water, and her heart accepted something that her mind was not yet willing to.

And with that she turned around, tacking into the storm.

ab

Marty saw the ship coming towards him, through the looming waves. 

“No!” he cried. “No, you mustn’t; the ship will get torn apart—!” But his voice was lost in the wind.

It was too late, anyways. Marren maneuvered the ship with unwavering grace straight towards Marty, cresting waves with practiced ease. She drew up until she was rolling down a wave towards him, then abruptly jerked three lines, pulled another, and dropped the anchor. The Trailblaze came to a juddering halt.

“Pass me a rope, Anthony!” Marren shouted. She caught it and smoothly threw it directly out towards Marty. “Grab on! We’ll pull you!”

But there was no response. Marty had disappeared.

“He’s gone under!” Marren cried. “Jacques, take the helm!” She launched herself from the prow and hurtled through the air, a streak of red against the swirling blue and gray.

Tony on the mast gasped in horror. “MARREN!” he screamed. “DON’T!”

Marren fought her way through the blinding spray. Only 1,000 strides off, the storm howled. She scanned the surrounding ocean, but saw only gray, empty waves.

She gritted her teeth. No. No. No. Not again! Never again! Panic rose in her chest. I won’t lose anyone else. I won’t, I won’t, I won’t! 

She kicked out wildly. Come on, Marty, you have to be here somewhere. Her foot connected with something. Aha! 

She caught his shirt and swam determinedly towards the boat, praying she was not too late. She flung Marty up onto the deck, where a surprised-looking Lizzie caught him. Then she scrambled up the ladder Tony threw down and flung herself onto the deck beside him.

“Marty!” she shouted. “Marty! Please wake up!”

He didn’t move.

“This is weird,” Jacques whispered to Tony. “When we’ve lost other crew members, she’s never been this distressed.”

Tony didn’t reply. He was watching Marren shake his friend with an odd expression on his face.

Just then, Marty coughed roughly and sat up, looking bewildered. “Oh, hi, Marren,” he said. “What happened? Gosh, I had a really weird dream about falling overboard. Why is it raining?”

But Marren was back at the wheel. It was too late to tack around the storm; she was going to have to sail straight into it and ride the winds along the WallShield.

“12 strides—10 seconds to impact!” shouted Tony over the roar of the storm.

The wind rose to a scream. Marty clung on for dear life.

“10—9—8—” Tony counted down.

Marren gasped. The Wall was looming up before them, no more than twenty feet away. But that was impossible—the WallShield kept ships and swimmers from getting within fifty feet of the Wall.

“7—6—5—”

And the storm was blowing them straight at it! Horrors!

“4—3—2—”

Another wave splashed over the bow. The ship rode a little lower in the water. A great noise rose above the screaming din—a deafening roar.

“1—”

Whitewater roiled around them. Marty looked up and saw a great, flat expanse of stone; a forbidding gray barrier. Lightning flashed. Thunder crashed.

“IMPACT!” shrieked Tony.

And the storm hit with full force.

If it had been wild before, well, it was nothing compared to now. The lightning was all round them, flashing brightly in the darkness. Thunder rolled across the sky. Rain stung their faces.

“Secure loose objects!” Marren shouted. Her fear had passed; now she was acting on instinct. The air crackled with electricity. “Tie yourselves to the mast.”

A ferocious blast of wind slammed into their swaying ship. The biggest mast, the one Tony was on, broke with a vicious cracking sound and hurtled away into the sky—Tony still clinging to it.

“Won’t do much good if there aren’t any masts!” he shouted down to them as he flew away into the storm.

“No!” Marren shouted. “No, it cannot happen again!”

What can’t happen again? Marty stared at her through the lashing downpour.

Jacques ran up to them. “She’s taking on water, captain! The Trailblazer’s going down!”

Marren gritted her teeth. “Buckets!” she shouted.

“It—it’s too big for that, captain. We have to get out of here!”

“No!” Marren shouted. "A captain never abandons her ship!”

Marty peered over the side. Half the vessel had been torn away, and seawater was rushing into the hold in a deadly tide. A strange feeling spiked through him, half terror, half invigoration.

Hailstones took the place of rain, striking and denting the deck. Marty could see Marren racing for the hold.

“Bail it as best as possible!”

Jacques shook his head. “No, captain; the hold is underwater!”

Just then a huge wave rose up behind them, its crest alight with whitewater. It smashed down, ripping away the second mast, the rigging, and the sails. Their one-in-a-billion chance had turned into no chance at all!

Then lightning struck the deck, and the Trailblazer shattered into a thousand pieces.

Marty screamed in terror as he hurtled through the air towards the gray stones that made up the Great Wall. Apparently, his life would end the same way his father’s had.

He reached out for Marren and caught her fingers, and he flung her high into the air; as high as he could reach; high enough that she had a chance.

The crash of thunder came, louder than the world, swallowing up all coherent thoughts.

And then the Wall was up against him and the last thing he could remember thinking before he smashed into it was, I want white marble for my tombstone.

And then everything was dark, and strange voices called out through the blackness, and nothing was real except fear… 

Sorry that was so short! Any comments on typos and/or story content are appreciated! 

Ooh, I love, love, LOVE It! So mysterious, it sounds like a good hook!

Ooo, I like it. It pulled me right in, and your word choice is sublime. I can't wait for more!

Also, I realise that this is probably just thoughts put into words, aka a rougherish draft, but if you would like editing suggestions, I'm here!

Oh my word, makes me want to cry too. 

:0

How did that happen?