Story!I do n

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Story!I do n

Story!

I do not have a title for it yet, but here is Chapter 1. 

Everyone thinks their life is weird, right? Everyone believes that the craziest things happen to them, but in reality, they’re just normal people with ordinary lives. That’s why I would hesitate to say that my life is anything but everyday. Except, what happened to me a few days ago doesn’t exactly seem ordinary.

 

I’m an orphan. I know, I know, tragic and all, but I don’t even remember my biological parents. Instead, I have two awesome adoptive parents who have loved me from the start, and that’s all that matters to me. My life was pretty close to perfect, not to mention normal, until we got the letter.

It was a lazy Sunday morning. Mom was cooking pancakes, and Dad and I were playing cards. I’d just about had him beat when our dog Koda brought in a mysterious letter. Dad opened it and read aloud, 

To the parents of Olivia Miller,

Our daughter has been missing for nearly 11 years. We were told that she died shortly after birth, but we have evidence that she was taken from us, brought into the foster system, and adopted by the Vaughns. We are begging you to mail us at the return address or email us at cherrymiller@email.com or andrewmiller@email.com. 

Thank you,

The Millers

Mom knitted her eyebrows together. “That’s strange,” she said, “Ollie, your last name was Miller before we adopted you.”
I nodded, already knowing. My parents had made it a point to tell me everything I wanted to know about being adopted. “Guys, please don’t worry about it. It’s probably a scam,” I tried to reassure them.

“I’m not so sure,” said Dad, “Why would anyone want a kid, other than for a ransom?”

“Well, there is that ransom possibility,” agreed Mom, “But maybe we should look into it. Obviously, we aren’t just going to give you away, but if you’d like to meet your biological family, now’s your chance.”

“Um, sure,” I said, “I’ll have to think about it.”

Mom and Dad replied to the emails, telling the Millers that they had “the lost child”. 

One thing led to another, and now Mom turns the key. We are driving out of the city. I watch as the skyscrapers give way to smaller buildings. The Millers have nine other children. I wonder if they’ll like me. Now we leave the city, and enter the suburbs. There are houses, two stories all to one family. I see them as I glance down the side streets along the highway. The Millers live in a rural place, so different from my cozy apartment. Mom mentioned something about a farm. Maybe there is one nearby. 

Soon, we are off of the highway, driving along a country road, with sprawling properties. I could have sworn I saw a horse. Sky and trees and ground all blend together, and when I wake up, we’re there. My first thought as I get out of the car is that there is more uninterrupted nature and land than I’ve seen in my life.
-----
Author's Note: I hope you like it! I am open to constructive criticism. I'm working on Chapter 2.

 

submitted by Wolfy_Walker_7, age 12, she/her, Long Island
(June 6, 2021 - 2:52 pm)

I like this a lot! I like how you've used a fairly typical character role (an orphan) but have not made it a boring/predictable story at all. I have 2 small things, since you said you'd be open  to criticism. My first thing is, you said that her adoptive parents said they had Olivia. This confused me a little bit, because the Millers had already sent them a letter, and from the voice of the letter, they were fully aware that Olivia's adoptive parents (I'm not saying her parents are not real or anything by the way, it's just so they're not confused with the biological parents) had her. I might have just misunderstood though! My second thing is, you talked about on thing leading to another, maybe you could talk about that a bit more? Like, did they talk to a lawyer, or do DNA tests, or did she meet her biological parents for real before driving to their house? Once again, that could just be me. Overall, it's an amazing story! I really like it and cannot wait to see where it goes! You're a great writer. :D

submitted by Periwinkle, age Pi, Somewhere in the stars
(June 6, 2021 - 5:33 pm)

Thanks for the suggestions! Those are some really good points. They will be used. =)

submitted by Wolfy_Walker_7, age 12, Long Island
(June 7, 2021 - 8:03 am)

NOTE TO READERS!: Please do not click on the email link. You will be bothering some random "Cherry Miller", and maybe the email does not even exist. Thank you.

submitted by Wolfy_Walker_7
(June 7, 2021 - 8:04 am)

I really like it!

submitted by Tealeaf, Steeping
(June 7, 2021 - 8:49 am)

I'm itching to read more! I love how you wove mystery into it, without stealing the focus away from all the other details. This is so so good! I'm excited to see the next part.

submitted by Milly Sunstar
(June 7, 2021 - 10:24 am)

I lOVE It! So exciting! Can't wait for chapter 2!

submitted by Clementine, age 13
(June 7, 2021 - 11:31 am)

This is AMAZING!!!! I have to read more! You have an amazing use of words, how you tie the adjectives in to make ordinary items seem glorious and beautiful, it's amazing!

submitted by Red Lightning
(June 7, 2021 - 1:29 pm)

Auto correct!!! I meant to put my name as Red Starlight! Sorry 'bout that!!!

Branandon says <fvdog> fav dog? I'm lying with my dog right now... 

submitted by Red Starlight
(June 7, 2021 - 7:01 pm)