Hey, thought I'd

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Hey, thought I'd

Hey, thought I'd post part of a story I'm working on for everyone to read, since I enjoyed reading the ones already posted so much. Hope you all enjoy! P.S. This IS copyrighted!Smile

 

1 Erica

Erica Savoi was not a good girl. She was always in trouble, and rarely got out of it cleen. Ever since she was a child, there had been incident after incident, until her father just gave up and shipped her off. At least, that's how Erica saw it.

She was, hands down a violent person, but it didn't seem fair to be sent away because of that. Sure she got into fights a lot, but all those people she fought usually had some advantage over her,

For example, Ryan DiOran, the boy whose nose she broke a week back, was on the football team, and a good four inches taller than Erica. And that gang of gothic people who Erica insulted (thus starting a fight) had outnumbered her six to one, even if they were drunk.

Even that girl (Lilly was it?), who Erica attacked when they were both in fourth grade had been holding a big stick at the time. Becides, it had been Erica who came away from that one with the stiches, eight of them.

Now, six years from that happening, Erica found herself bumping around in the back seat of a shiny black car with her suitcase banging into her hip every time the car made a left turn. This kind of circumstance often leads to reflection, and reflection was exactly Erica's occupation at the moment when we find her.

What Erica was reflecting upon was how things always seemed to happen to her. When someone's mother had to die of cancer it happend to be Erica's. When someone's father had to retreat to his room evey evening for months afterward, and drink himself silly, it had to be Erica's. And when the world had wronged her dad and someone had tp pay for it, it had to be Erica.

So it was no surprise when these government people came to Erica's house and spoke to her father privately with her dad, using words like "special" and phrases like "needing a professional's attention," that anyone listening at the door could hear.

Erica had heard her father loudly announce that it was about time they locked her up and ask would he still get a tax refund even  if he wasn't exactly supporting her? The government men said they would see what they could do and that seemed to satisfy Erica's father.

The men said that they had to fly back to Washington that day, and Erica had to go with them. She was given about twenty minutes to cram her favorite clothes and her valuables into a suitcase and several bags and get into the car where the government men silently waited.

The men remained silent throughout the long bumpy trip that led them to the local airport. When they arrievd, they handed Erica a plane ticket, helped her check her bags, and told her to be good and that she would find someone on the plane that would  accompany her on the flight.

Erica suddenly felt unstable and just the slightest bit relieved. She could just grab her bags and ditch the agent on the plane. But the relief was short-lived. She had no place to go if she ran now. She would end up on the streets begging.

Erica sighed. She would go. But where was she going? It was obvious that she wasn't headed to the capital with those men, so where was it she was headed?

"I have a right to know where I'm going," Erica announced.

The agents turned to her with looks of mild interest.

"Do you indeed?" the taller one asked.

"Yes," Erica's face was set in stubborn defiance, "yes I do."

"Well than little lady," the short fattish one was talking, "I guess we'll just have to tell you. We are bound for Washington D.C., and you are off to Washington, the state."

Erica was shocked. Washington is, as all you out there know, in the upper left corner of our country and not one of the most populated places in the world. Why they would send people there was perfectly clear to Erica, they sent people to Washington so the people couldn't come back or be found.

Seeing the shock on her face and guessing her thoughts, the taller man decided to change the plans.

"Look what you've done telling her that! Now we'll have to walk her to the plane ourselves." He said to the shorter man.

The  short agent mumbled some things Erica was sure were neither English or polite, and started to shuffle Erica off toward her plane.

 

2 Kimmy

Kimmy Owen was very mad. She was used to flying first class non-stop every time she took a trip. She always had the best, no matter if she was flying to Manhattan, NY to see her Mum for the weekend, or going to Paris for Spring Break with her Daddy and his child bride, Jen.

Jen. She was the reason Kimmy was on this miserable trip anyway. Because Jen had decided that Kimmy was a threat to her relationship with Kimmy's dad, she convinced him to sent his daughter off to that 'lovely fashion school that the Government sponsored'. 'Lovely,' yeah right!

Kimmy felt betrayed and powerless. Usually Kimmy was the one in charge; she had her Gift to thank for that. She was able to inspire loyalty, admiaration, and even love in the hearts of her unsuspecting piers.

True, it didn't always work, but she usually didn't have many problems. The people whose emotions she couldn't Control, she simply alienated, and made unpopular. After a little while most came around to her way of thinking, however, there were always the exceptions, few as they were, who just never let down their guard.

One such person was Erica Savoi. Kimmy and Erica had gone to Elementary School together. They had even been tolerable friends. Then things just changed. Whether they grew apart, or some external thing changed their friendship, one thing remained the same, by High School they were definitely not friends.

Although Kimmy could never understand it, the error was on her side. In the beginning of seventh grade when her Gift started to show up, Kimmy had been so busy becomming Queen Bee of the school, she never failed to notice that she was neglecting her previous friendships.

Then her parents finally legally ended their unhappy marriage, and she was caught up in the craziness of her parents' battle for custody and her father's remarriage to Jen.

God! She hated Jen! The woman was barely twenty-five, not even ten years older than Kimmy. What kind of crazed idiot would marry at that age anyway, even for the money?

Jen was like some kind of infectious disease. The seccond she step into Kimmy's house she took control. She made Kimmy relinquish her accustomed seat next to her father, and take one at the far end of the table.

She then made Kimmy's dad set stricter rules, like a ten-o'clock curfew, and no friends over unless it was the weekend. Kimmy's social life would have been dead if she hadn't had a window with with a trellis outside in her bedroom. She had to padlock her door so Jen's master key wouldn't let the woman in, and then climb out the window and down the trellis.

She barely kept Jen out of her closet and jewlery box, and she wasn't so lucky with her food. Jen was always eating. She ate almost everything in the house, and the food was gone even before they got halfway through the week.

The strange thing was how Jen seemed to never gain a pound. Kimmy, knowing that such things could exist, decided that Jen must have some Power not unlike her own.

Now, because of Jen's annoying presence, yet again Kimmy was losing, and being pushed away from her father. This time the distance was vey actual, a plane trip to New York actual. At least she would be with her Mum that would be some comfort.

And after all Kimmy had been through, the least anybody could do was to give her the consolation of riding first class. Still, there was no one else to bug her, besides the silent chaprone who sat a few seats behind her. And she clearly wasn't going to.

Kimmy was next to an empty seat, which suited her just fine. She had taken the window seat, even though her ticket hadsaid that the one next to her was hers.

Kimmy had just pulled the shade on the window down, put in her earphones, and opened her book to the first chapter, when she was interrupted  by someone anouncing in an annoyed tone of voice that Kimmy was in the wrong seat.

Kimmy looked up and spoke in a very loud and  very shocked voice. "Erica?!"

 

submitted by Emma L., age 13, Chicago
(September 5, 2009 - 3:59 pm)

Well, I'm interested already. Pretty good characters, although if you're not careful they could turn into a pair of Mary Sues - you know, the girl with nothing and the girl with everything; we've all read stories like that. Even so, it's pretty good, like I said.

 

-EH

submitted by Emily H. :), age 13, Sparks, NV
(September 5, 2009 - 9:59 pm)

You left me hanging!

submitted by Lauren M., age 13, Washington
(September 5, 2009 - 10:03 pm)

So far so good, Emma, and I like your writing style a lot! :)

As Emily said, though... beware the Sues. `_`

submitted by Mary W., age 11.71, NJ
(September 8, 2009 - 5:19 pm)

LOL!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, but I can sort of tell you don't know very much about Washington state. *laughs* *kind of stops and is serious* The problem I noticed with this story is only that you seem to have the idea that Washington State is not very populated, and that if someone goes there they are likely not to come back (to...civilization? Lol.) or be found. A most peculiar notion. We are not exactly on remote little farms in the wilderness over here.

If you want a place like that, I suggest you choose Nevada or Alaska.

submitted by Emily L., age 14, WASHINGTON STAT
(September 9, 2009 - 5:58 pm)

Or Wyoming. ^_^ Wyoming is amazing, and rather... "uncivilized"... in comparison to Washington state. *nodnodnod*

Anyhoo, I like, for the most part. Though, as people have said, Beware the Sues. Personality ticks are a wonderful thing, eh?

Anyway... I do rather like urban fantasy, so long as it's handled well, so points there.

Also, may I say, the internal dialogue stuff you had going on sounded quite a lot like my 14-year-old sister, which was quite refreshing after all the middle-schoolers-that-don't-sound-like-middle-schoolers stuff you get when adults write tween books. Which makes sense, as you're thirteen, I s'pose. :)

submitted by TNÖ, age 16, Deep Space
(September 9, 2009 - 10:31 pm)

I would take offense at that, Emily L., (joking offense, that is) but it's true. Nevada is in the middle of nowhere. That is to say, it is a nowhere. There are acres and acres of land with nothing but hills and rock and dirt and sagebrush and cows and wild horses and burros and coyotes. So yeah, Nevada would be good. And it's always good to do your research so that you don't biff, cause there are always people who will notice. :D

 

-EH

submitted by Emily H. :), age 13, Sparks, NV
(September 9, 2009 - 10:50 pm)

WEIRD! I have a bff named Emma L! She'll be thirteen in almost exactly 6 months!

submitted by Emma O.
(September 10, 2009 - 6:22 pm)

And one of my good friends is name Emily H. Funny.

submitted by Emily L.
(September 11, 2009 - 12:12 pm)

Lol.

submitted by Emma O.
(September 11, 2009 - 6:11 pm)

It is really, really good.

Oh, PLEASE continue it!

submitted by Dawnpaw
(October 22, 2009 - 9:40 am)