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Hello, everybody! The
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Hello, everybody! The
Hello, everybody! The last RP that I started kinda died befor eit even started, so I'm making another one!
It takes place in a small town, where people live in peace and harmony. Except those dark, mysterous houses, where different people live. Monsters live in those houses at the edge of the town. Vampires, were-wolves, ghosts and zombies live there. But there is a certain darkness in the air. A guy named Bradley, who was a were-wolf/ vampire sniffed the air. "Hmm. Theres something in the air, but I just can't put my finger on it." He said, still sniffing the air. "Well, I'm sorry that you can't find out what in the whole wide world it is. But if we can find it and if it originates at the old power plant, I'm outta here." His sister, Lizzy said, her jet black hair flowing in the wind. "Oh, stop it, sis. Dakota! Get over here, man." Bradley said, glaring at a vampire. "Sorry, but I can't. If you haven't noticed, I need sun screen even though vampires can live ion day-light." Dakota said. "Ok, ok, you two! Quit it! Bradley, don't you dare threaten him!" Lizzy said, pushing Dakpota and Bradley apart. "Wait, wait, wait, you want to go to the old power plant?" A zombie girl said. "Eliza, don't make me comke over there!" Lizzy said. Suddently, a person, a human appeared. "Guys!! These's something going on over in the humans part of town!!" Via said. "Ok, guys, let's go! Via, lead the way!" Bradley said, as they all ran towards the human part of town.
These are the charrie sheets:
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Monster or Human:
Personality:
Apearance:
Shipping:
Other:
Name: Bradley
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Monster or Human: He is a vampire/were-wolf.
Personality: He's shy and kinda of a hot-head, but he's friendly too.
Appearance: He always wears a brown hat, a black t-shirt, and black jeans with black shoes. He has ice blue eyes and tan skin and brown hair.
Shipping: He's open with other monsters or people his age please.
Other: He really likes b-b-q flaovred chips.
Name: Lizzy
Age: 18
Gender: Female
Monster Or Human: She is a vampire
Persoanlity: She is head-strong and really likes to make friends and if theres a fight, she'll rush right in.
Appearance: She always wears a black spy outfit because it makes her look cool with black finger gless gloves and black combat boots. She has jet black hair with purple eyes and she has tan skin and purple lip gloss.
Shipping: Same as Bradley
Other: She really likes french onion flavored Sun Chips, so she's eating those constantly.
I'll post the rest soon! I hope you guys like this!!
submitted by Emekittycon Kitten, age 11, Kitten Kingdom
(May 27, 2020 - 11:46 am)
(May 27, 2020 - 11:46 am)
(May 28, 2020 - 3:51 pm)
I could give you some suggestions for making your RPs more popular.
(May 31, 2020 - 10:52 am)
@Topperstix, I would LOVE to hear the suggestions.
(May 31, 2020 - 1:44 pm)
Well, for starters, I'd try reading it out loud to yourself. My writing teacher gave me this tip a while back, and I find it helps me to spot things that I wouldn't necessarily notice if I was just reading it. For example, you might notice some repetition or tense changes.
Also, I'd think about breaking the RP intro up into paragraphs. It makes it easier to read, and it's often used to set dialogue apart. A lot of times people don't like to read a solid block of text.
Anyway, that's a start. Let me know if you found the reading aloud tip helpful.
(June 1, 2020 - 9:14 pm)
(June 2, 2020 - 12:43 pm)
Ohhh... Ok, thank you! (Blushes) I'm not really that good at making paragraphs, because it's a little...Out of my comfort zone. But I'll try! Starting... NOW!!
(June 8, 2020 - 2:50 pm)
(June 2, 2020 - 5:25 pm)
Ok, I'm gonna start this RP, but you guys can add your charries as we're writing this RP.
~Bradley~
"This way. Just over this hill." Via said, as she led us through the thorns that separated the monsters from the humans. We got out of the bush, but since Lizzy has a temper, she started beating up the bush. "Lizzy, come on, girl, we need to find out what's going on here." Dakota said, pulling her out of the thorn bush. She gazed into his light green eyes, while smiling a tiny bit. I rolled my eyes. Everyone knows that Lizzy really likes Dakota. "This happened." Via said, showing us the human part of town. "I don't see any--OOF!!" I said, as I was pushed--Make that shoved-- into the town. "Ow! Oh, I'm gonna feel that in the morning!" Eliza said, brushing the dust off of her jeans. "This is what you freaks get for terriozing our part of town! Several people mutated and toook other people with them, all because of you!! You deserve to be thrown out of this town!" Via said, as she gracefully landed next to us. "Wha--? Why did you do this?" Lizzy said. Then, Via looked scared. She sprinted out of there as fast as she could. Then, I saw why. The smell, it turned into a green cloud of... Whatever the stuff was. "Run!! Go, go, go!!!' I said, as the others ran into the forest. "Bradley, what are you doing?!? You're gonna die!!" Lizzy screamed, as I stood looking at the cloud. "I'm sorry, Lizzy. You go ahead. I'll stay here and figure this out myself." I said, starting to walk toward the cloud. "NO!!!!" Lizzy ran to my side and shoved me out of the way, into the trees. "What was that for?" I asked her, brushing off my hat. "Sorry. Dakota!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!" Lizzy screamed as Dakota ran toward the cloud. It hit me: Dakota wanted to protect us. But he was putting himself in danger. When the cloud hit him, he looked at us, like he was hiding something. Instantly, he fell to the ground. "Go, go, go!!" Lizzy shouted. As we leaft, I heard a whisper: "One down, three to go."
I hope you guys liked this.
(June 6, 2020 - 12:39 pm)
Did you see my writing tips? They might help you get more character submissions for your RPs. Also, this is exciting! Can’t wait for the next part!
(June 6, 2020 - 5:15 pm)
~Lizzy~
"Wha--? Did anyone see that?" I said, watching Dakota dissapear into the cloud. "I did, Lizzy. I did." My brother said. "Man, that stinks. I wish we could... Wait, whats the cloud doing now?" Eliza said, watching the cloud. It turned to us, and it focused on Eliza. "Guys, RUN!!!" Bradley screamed, as we ran for our lives. Bradley is half were-wolf, half vampire, so he was the fastest. He picked me up and then picked Eliza up. "Do you come equipped with barf bags? Cause you're going so stinkin' fast, and this road is so bumpy, I think I'm gonna lose my lunch!" Eliza screamed as Bradley ran faster.
"Ya think that I come with those?!" Bradley yelled back. I was enjoying the ride, but the cloud was approaching quickly. "RUN FASTER, BRADLEY!!!!!' I screamed at my brother. "I'm trying, sis!!!" Bradley yelled back. Soon, we were out of the path of the cloud. "We should... Make camp... Here for the... Night. I gotta lay down." Bradley panted, instantly dropping himself to the ground backwards. "Ok, well, it's a full moon tonight." I said, looking at my brother. I knew why that cloud focused on Eliza. She's a leader kind of zombie girl, and Dakota was also an Alpha in his vampire tribe.
I knew who it would come after next: Bradley. I looked at him, and made a vow to protect him. We set up camp when some crazy lookin' creatures come out of the woods. "Guys, why do those figures have wngs, sharp teeth, and are 20 times bigger than they were? Plus, WHAT IS THAT GREEN STUFF ON THIER FANGS?!?!" Eliza screamed. "Guys, prepare for battle." Bradley said, rishing at the creatures at full speed. Bradley has encreased strength so he knocked one of the creatures out. I lunged at the other one with a stick and Eliza broke one with her nails. Trust me, if you see a zombie with those long claw-like nails coming at you, go the other way.
When we defeated the creatures, the cloud caught up with us again and Eliza disappeared within minutes. Bradley and I ran as fast as we could away from the cloud. We ran straight into a lake too. I stopped but Bradley fell in the water. "Help! Oh, man, I feel like I just got a bath!" Bradley said, flailing around in the water. As you can tell, he doesn't really like baths. I rolled my eyes and hauled out him out of the water. I looked out on the horizon and saw a green mist. I knew that the cloud had caught up with us. And it was headed toward Bradley.
~Bradley~
It was too late. The cloud had caught up with us, and it didn't help that I was soaking wet. I looked at Lizzy, who looked at me with a look of panic on her face. "Run. And don't look back." I told her. She nodded slightly once and ran for her life. I walked up to the cloud and eyed it like a warrior would.
"Well? What are ya gonna do? You gonna vaporize me? You gonna--You gonna torture me in a different dimension? What are ya gonna do? Oh, boy, Bradley, you crossed the line. Went off the deep end." I said, walking over to a rock and put my head on it. The cloud went toward me and covered me in the mist.
It. Was. Horrible. The mist got in my mouth and went down my throat. I choked and then, that's were the weird part happened. I felt my body growing, like somebody was stretching me on a rack. I panicked and within seconds, I had changed into a wolf, with two inch long fangs, and claws. My body was covered with fur and I felt an odd sensation at the base of my spine. I looked and there was a tail.
'Go get Lizzy, servant. Go get her.' An odd voice said in my head. I tried to fight off the voice, but this really painful sonic sound came inmy head for about two minutes. 'Are you going to disobey me, servant? Or will I have to do that again?' The odd voice said again. I knew that I couldn't fight it. I picked up the scent of my sister, and I ran on all fours and followed the scent. I was on the hunt for her, to bring her to the cloud.
I hoped you guys liked it! I really enjoyed writing this part.
(June 8, 2020 - 3:19 pm)
This is very cool! I’m excited to see what happens next. One suggestion I have is to break up the dialogue into separate paragraphs? It makes it easier to read, and can sometimes add a bit of drama to the character’s words. For example, you might write:
“Ya think I come with those?” Bradley yelled back.
I was enjoying the ride, but the cloud was approaching quickly. “RUN FASTER, BRADLEY!” I screamed at my brother.
(You’ll notice I cut down the number of exclamation points— this is mostly just a personal preference, but i find it does look more professional to only use one exclamation point. The reader will probably figure out that the character’s yelling very loudly by the fact that the dialogue is in all caps.)
Anyway, those are just some tips. Most of this stuff you’ll just pick up by reading books and absorbing things from other people’s writing styles. If you’d like me to keep giving you some writing tips, just tell me! I’d really like to help you as you develop your writing. I think this is a really fun story, and I hope you keep posting!
(June 11, 2020 - 5:36 pm)
(June 11, 2020 - 5:57 pm)
(June 11, 2020 - 7:16 pm)