Ok, here is
Chatterbox: Inkwell
Ok, here is
Ok, here is a preview of a story I'm writing. All ideas copyrighted by me, ok?
Working title is "The Keepers: Azorica"
The Keepers rise again...............
Azorica scrambled out of her bed. She hurried through the kitchen, grabbing a piece of toast as she ran by, and panted a quick good morning to the rest of her family. "Sorry, Mother, I'm late again.", she yelled over her shoulder as she opened the front door. "Wait, where'd Tulle go!?", she suddenly muttered, backtracking. She looked in her room. Hovering uncertainly above her bed was a small sphere of light. "Tulle, you'd better hurry up!", Azorica told it, and ran back through the house, making sure it was following her. "Why the hurry?", the sphere of light said, whining. "Because, Tulle, you didn't wake me up like you were supposed to and we have about five minutes to get to Training. And if we don't get there in time, I'll make sure that Blade knows that it's your fault.", Azorica yelled. The light dimmed worriedly. "Oh. Right.", Tulle said, and darted forwards. Azorica ran alongside the light, panting. Finally they reached a large building and stopped, panting. "We made it.", Azorica panted. She slowly opened the door and slipped inside. "Hey Blade, I'm not late am I? If I am you can blame Tulle. He didn't wake me up when he was supposed to.", she said hurriedly, as a teenaged boy started towards her, his mouth half-opening. "All right, Zori. I'll let you off this time. But Tulle, it sounds like you need a check-over. I'll get Lenore on that while you warm up, okay Zori?" he laughed. Azorica nodded gratefully, then walked into the other room, where some other young elves like herself were sparring with staffs. "Hey, Lenore, Blade wants you to check Tulle, he didn't wake me up this morning.", she called to the one other girl in the room. Lenore nodded. "Right. I'll be on that right away!", she answered as she went into the first room. Azorica grinned. "Oh, and Clovic, what do you want to be beaten up with first? Staffs or practice swords?", she asked her fighting partner, a boy about a year or so older than her. He groaned. "How about some target practice first?", he said innocently. Azorica sniggered. "Ooh, you're not scared of being beaten up by a girl, are you? I promise I won't break anything!", she taunted him as she grabbed a bow. "All right, show me the target!", she said, and shot the arrow towards the target. "Whoops! Qiu, watch it! I nearly had that shot!", she complained as one of the other Keepers darted forwards and caught the arrow mid-flight. Just another typical day. As much as you could expect when you were a Keeper.
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Okay, so the Keepers all have the spheres of light, they're called Zoreks, and there are always 7 Keepers. The Zoreks are all different colours. The Keepers and Zoreks are:
Azorica: 13 years old, green eyes, jet-black hair (waist-length).
Tulle: The green Zorek, is Azorica's Zorek Partner.
Blade: 18 years old, reddish-brown eyes, sandy brown hair.
Remar: the red Zorek, is Blade's Zorek Partner.
Lenore: 16 years old, violet eyes, black hair.
Hahra: the violet Zorek, is Lenore's Zorek Partner.
Clovic: 14 years old, blue eyes, blond hair.
Serp: the blue Zorek, is Clovic's Zorek Partner.
Qui: 15 years old, golden eyes, gold-blond hair.
Grem: the golden Zorek, is Qui's Zorek Partner.
Zaran: 17 years old, gray eyes, brown hair.
Quag: the silver Zorek, is Zaran's Zorek Partner.
Nemar: 17 years old, black eyes, black hair.
Zokag: the black Zorek, is Nemar's Zorek Partner.
Likey, no likey?
Oh, and Zori is Azorica's nickname.
(August 15, 2009 - 7:03 am)
I like it! :D It's interesting, and I like your names,
too. :)
(August 15, 2009 - 2:53 pm)
front
(August 15, 2009 - 3:03 pm)
<--to the front--<
(August 15, 2009 - 7:22 pm)
front
(August 16, 2009 - 1:24 pm)
Hey, pretty good. Reasonably good names. A couple of questions - why are all your Keepers so young? Are your elves immortal? Why do they eat toast? (jk about that one, mostly) What kind of setting is this in? At first I had the idea that it was modern, then I hit the word "elf," then I hit "sword." I'm still not sure.
-EH
(August 16, 2009 - 5:49 pm)
FIrst, I'm glad you like the names. Second, because they are the first Keepers in a hundred years or so, and they've only been Keepers for a year or so. Zori is the newest to the gang, also the youngest. They eat toast because this is just a draft of the first part and it was a bit slapdash. Setting is in another universe, they're modern all right, but they're elves and they still uses swords and daggers and bows-and-arrows and magic, they don't have electricity or anything. THEY USE MAGIC!!! OK. So the plot is that Necromancer assasinates the king trying to get to the Keepers, cuz he knows if the Keepers are on his side he can rule the world, but the Keepers escape. They then stay on the run while they master their powers and then confront the Necromancer and his army.
(August 16, 2009 - 8:19 pm)
Ah, gotcha. As in, it is modern, but who needs a light bulb when you can mutter a handfull of words and the whole country lights up?
-EH
(August 17, 2009 - 6:01 pm)
Yeah.
(August 18, 2009 - 9:03 am)
Interesting, but it all kind of runs together. I think you have a lack of spacing.
(August 16, 2009 - 7:53 pm)
Again, this was a draft, I got the idea last night and wrote that down yesterday morning. I'm polishing it up now.
(August 16, 2009 - 8:22 pm)
Where's the new one????
(August 30, 2009 - 9:59 am)
Hey, you know what? Let's make this a RolePLay!!!!!
(September 1, 2009 - 9:13 pm)
If, yes, Jenni, can I be a girl Clovic or make up another charrie? Thanks.
(September 1, 2009 - 9:14 pm)
REALLY GOOD! One little thing that sorta bugged me was how much you said "panting." I'm not quite sure if that was just to emphasize the amount of panting was going on (:P), but you might want to change it a little more, so that is doesn't seem like an over-used word.... But, I'm picky... Let me see... I'm gonna read it again. Be right back. Yah, maybe just take out "panting" in the sentance where it says "Finally they reached a large building and stopped, panting" or where it says "Azorica ran alongside the light, panting" One of those, or maybe use it again, as just emphasizing how fast she was running and stuff.... Sorry for being so picky.... I really, really, REALLY like, no, love it!!! :D :D :D :D :D
(September 6, 2009 - 10:37 am)