Poem I wrote.

Chatterbox: Inkwell

Poem I wrote.

Poem I wrote. It's kinda depressing but whatev. Maybe I should submit it to the contest? I dunno. I'm feeling morose because it's been raining every day.

Rain Drop People

Sometimes I wonder if

those unassuming raindrops brim

with life

and when they fall to their doom

onto the pavement and explode

some little beings yell

And now no longer plays a fife

Or a husband writhes, yelled by his
wife

Or riots, or fights, or endless strife

all ended, subtler than a knife

The mass of this

depressing fate will be unbearable

to see

and maybe it's easier to ignore

Since it can't be seen or felt or heard

like wars in lands

beyond the sea

or slaves working moons like worker
bees

From sadness most of us will flee

Including you, including me.

 

So as the drops

fall down plop plop upon my

windowsill

and down upon the heads of people

as they scurry and run from cool bits
of blue

like if they get wet is a worse fate

than my people in the drops that the
falling would kill

Or dying like a penguin from an oil
spill

I watch for a while until

I turn away against my will

It's pretty to watch but my mom is
calling and I mustn't dwell too deep

or I'll never

fall

asleep.

 

submitted by Adina , age 12, Mostly in fanta
(July 31, 2009 - 8:36 pm)

back to the Inkwell

wow. that was um... interesting. i liked the end though. but sorry, it's like really dark and sad, yet addictive and seductive at the same time. no, i don't think you should enter it, but yes, i liked it and you shouldn't go off and delete it or tear it up. you should save and read every once and awhile.

submitted by Katie, age 11, Missouri
(August 1, 2009 - 9:37 am)

topppppppp!!!

submitted by top , age top, top
(August 1, 2009 - 9:42 am)

come on thread, go to the very top!!! please.

submitted by Spinning Top, age round, and round
(August 1, 2009 - 10:23 am)

thanks for the feedback! and yeah I agree katie.

submitted by Adina, age 12, Mostly in fanta
(August 1, 2009 - 10:26 am)

Wow. That was really good. I don't know if the contest would choose something quite so depressing, however. In my opinion, you should just submit one of your other poems.

submitted by Ima
(August 1, 2009 - 11:07 am)

Wow. That's pretty cool. Maybe I'll leave feedback later, but I don't want to right now. Too much effort.

 

-EH the (temporarily) lazy

submitted by Emily H. :), age 13, Sparks, NV
(August 1, 2009 - 5:22 pm)

Wow, that's amazing, thoughtful, and well-written! Maybe I'll never look at a raindrop the same way again.

submitted by Lena
(August 1, 2009 - 5:27 pm)

There are a bunch of raindrops on my window now.

submitted by Lena
(August 2, 2009 - 8:03 am)

That was REALLY good!!!!!!!!!!  But I don't think that you should enter it for the contest because it's kind of depressing.  I think you should submit a other poem.

submitted by Meadow, age 11, IL
(August 2, 2009 - 7:07 am)

Yeah I know it's deppressing. I was deppressed. Sorta. I  was bored and it was raining and it is always raining and yeah. Thanks for reading ! And the complaments. It really made my ( yet another rainy) day

submitted by Adina, age 12, Mostly in fanta
(August 2, 2009 - 10:55 am)

That was really good! Interesting and different.

That's always good in a poem. Yes, a bit

depressing, but I like it! :D

submitted by Megan M., age 13, Ohio
(August 2, 2009 - 11:04 am)